I think I've become one of the others
yeah, that'll be the day.
I had a pretty elaborate entry planned, but that kind of went to shit so this is probably going to be all over the place.
I went to MJR and saw the movie Children of Men friday.
fucking brilliant movie and I HIGHLY recommend everyone go see it.
very well done, the action sequences were shot amazingly, and the story was very compelling.
the soundtrack was great, and I loved the inclusion of King Crimson.
I pretty much think Mattis should have come with us like he said he might, and then he would not have been as drunk as he was that night, and pretty much every event of the rest of the weekend would have played out differently and much more sanely at that.
but that's another story altogether.
back to the movie.
there's one part that nearly brought tears to my eyes.
that's right, the robot almost shed a tear.
just the idea that a child could bring a whole war to peace, even for five minutes, was fucking powerful.
and now I kind of want a baby.
basically because I want to believe I can raise a child to be pure.
and because all of the hope that a child carries.
the next at lunch with my brother, I was listening in on a conversation between a young child of about 5 years and his parents and the wait staff.
yes, I do enjoy listening to other people's conversations in public places, so be it.
anyways, the kid was saying about how when he grows up he either wants to be a scientist or a chef, and it was so hopeful.
and when I saw the family, they were pretty lower class.
it's only a matter of time before the child will start to realize that his dreams will only be denied and cannot be afforded.
and it's fucking sad.
I think about how many opportunities and luxuries I've been granted in my life, and how I've just fucking taken them all for granted.
I haven't even had a dream of what I've wanted to be in well over 5 years, and the only thing I've desired to be recently, everyone I know thinks it is a fucking stupid idea.
I've just become so fucking jaded and it sucks, but it's the sad truth of life.
I've decided alcohol pretty much ruins lives.
I witnessed sooooo fucking many irrational decisions and illogical ideas go down within the past two days because people were intoxicated.
and I'm pretty sure it was the booze that really threw a wrench into the gears during my four years at college.
other substances I've dabbled with in the past, NEVER lead to the fucking regrets that have come with drinking, and if anything, have lead my mind being opened rather than broken down.
but whatever, I'm fucking having fun.
mostly.
and I doubt I'm going to find enlightenment in fucking Eastpointe MI anyways.
I think I really need a change of scenery for that to happen.
freewriting is neat.
anyways, I'm back down in Southgate during the week for the next two weeks til we get the new store open, so if you need to get at me, do it on the cellular.
and I'll be home on weekends.
I hope I can still count on pong next friday night but that might be totally fucked now.
I kind of feel like I'm paying too much to live here when I'm not even going to be here 30-40% of the year.
I'm considering trying to look for a place that I can get cheaper.
but I certainly can't go back home.
and I really like the situation here, most of the time anyways.
I guess I'll see how it all goes.
Caleb and I are going to Greektown casino Monday night if anyone would care to join us.
I really don't have the money to lose, but I've yet to walk out of the poker room down.
just gotta watch out for the bad beats.
and wait til I make a real strong because there will always be people to pay you off down there.
I'm sure there was something else I wanted to put in there, but I can't go on.
that's all you're getting to see into my head for the next week/month/quarter.
I had a pretty elaborate entry planned, but that kind of went to shit so this is probably going to be all over the place.
I went to MJR and saw the movie Children of Men friday.
fucking brilliant movie and I HIGHLY recommend everyone go see it.
very well done, the action sequences were shot amazingly, and the story was very compelling.
the soundtrack was great, and I loved the inclusion of King Crimson.
I pretty much think Mattis should have come with us like he said he might, and then he would not have been as drunk as he was that night, and pretty much every event of the rest of the weekend would have played out differently and much more sanely at that.
but that's another story altogether.
back to the movie.
there's one part that nearly brought tears to my eyes.
that's right, the robot almost shed a tear.
just the idea that a child could bring a whole war to peace, even for five minutes, was fucking powerful.
and now I kind of want a baby.
basically because I want to believe I can raise a child to be pure.
and because all of the hope that a child carries.
the next at lunch with my brother, I was listening in on a conversation between a young child of about 5 years and his parents and the wait staff.
yes, I do enjoy listening to other people's conversations in public places, so be it.
anyways, the kid was saying about how when he grows up he either wants to be a scientist or a chef, and it was so hopeful.
and when I saw the family, they were pretty lower class.
it's only a matter of time before the child will start to realize that his dreams will only be denied and cannot be afforded.
and it's fucking sad.
I think about how many opportunities and luxuries I've been granted in my life, and how I've just fucking taken them all for granted.
I haven't even had a dream of what I've wanted to be in well over 5 years, and the only thing I've desired to be recently, everyone I know thinks it is a fucking stupid idea.
I've just become so fucking jaded and it sucks, but it's the sad truth of life.
I've decided alcohol pretty much ruins lives.
I witnessed sooooo fucking many irrational decisions and illogical ideas go down within the past two days because people were intoxicated.
and I'm pretty sure it was the booze that really threw a wrench into the gears during my four years at college.
other substances I've dabbled with in the past, NEVER lead to the fucking regrets that have come with drinking, and if anything, have lead my mind being opened rather than broken down.
but whatever, I'm fucking having fun.
mostly.
and I doubt I'm going to find enlightenment in fucking Eastpointe MI anyways.
I think I really need a change of scenery for that to happen.
freewriting is neat.
anyways, I'm back down in Southgate during the week for the next two weeks til we get the new store open, so if you need to get at me, do it on the cellular.
and I'll be home on weekends.
I hope I can still count on pong next friday night but that might be totally fucked now.
I kind of feel like I'm paying too much to live here when I'm not even going to be here 30-40% of the year.
I'm considering trying to look for a place that I can get cheaper.
but I certainly can't go back home.
and I really like the situation here, most of the time anyways.
I guess I'll see how it all goes.
Caleb and I are going to Greektown casino Monday night if anyone would care to join us.
I really don't have the money to lose, but I've yet to walk out of the poker room down.
just gotta watch out for the bad beats.
and wait til I make a real strong because there will always be people to pay you off down there.
I'm sure there was something else I wanted to put in there, but I can't go on.
that's all you're getting to see into my head for the next week/month/quarter.