(no subject)
My problem is that every time i'm actually able to sleep I then sleep for 12-14 hours. Then i can't sleep at all for another 12-14 hours(sometimes much more), thus i'm going to set an alarm even when i know i can sleep in. Like every time i have class i only get like a few hours of sleep, so then by the end of class i'm going totally fucking insane. I worry all the time, i really try so it bothers me if i get mediocre grades, as of right now i'm at an A- but i'm worried about my exams. I'm making sure to get a lot of reading in and extra credit done for this weekend.
The longer i'm awake the more depressed I get, I think too much about the past and I worry too much about my future. We are not living in a fair and just world. The existentialists weren't a 100% correct, I kind of feel that the way the system works is there is such little incentive to keep people who're actually working doing what they're doing. I think the reason why most people are so apathetic to the plight of others is that they can't imagine waking up one day and knowing that they've lost everything. I'm really thankful that I have a roof over my head and that I haven't starved to death yet.
I'm most afraid of my own indifference, I don't want to work some bullshit job for the remainder of my life. I should also see a doctor sometime soon, the problem with having shitty insurance is that they make you wait a month to see a physician. I'm just having constant pains and i don't want to go back to the hospital if i can help it.
The longer i'm awake the more depressed I get, I think too much about the past and I worry too much about my future. We are not living in a fair and just world. The existentialists weren't a 100% correct, I kind of feel that the way the system works is there is such little incentive to keep people who're actually working doing what they're doing. I think the reason why most people are so apathetic to the plight of others is that they can't imagine waking up one day and knowing that they've lost everything. I'm really thankful that I have a roof over my head and that I haven't starved to death yet.
I'm most afraid of my own indifference, I don't want to work some bullshit job for the remainder of my life. I should also see a doctor sometime soon, the problem with having shitty insurance is that they make you wait a month to see a physician. I'm just having constant pains and i don't want to go back to the hospital if i can help it.