OK, so not everyone is evil
Thanks to nice people, especially comikaze, revena, amphibious_one, hilaire (loved the dinosaur!), bushmango and the hot girl who brought me a bucket of Cookie Time Christmas Cookies. Also my mum, who was relieved to hear that I wasn't as stupid as she'd thought I was (she'd assumed I'd left the car in town with the guitar on the back seat or something).
Mum: And when you've done that, the first thing you need to invest in is an alarm.
Me: Mum, I'd have an alarm by now if I didn't have to keep paying my excess.
Still fucking annoyed, but I'll live.