grrrrr ruff! i am calm.
I don't like doing this. I don't enjoy spewing my frustration into a text box on livejournal. It doesn't make me feel great, nor does it solve any problems.
Hey! Speaking of things that are unfortunate and useless, I just had a lovely such moment with one of the board members of my organization. She tells me I have to prepare some sort of report for the next board meeting to update the directors on what's been accomplished in my 3 months on the job.
"Oh, okay," I say, "what ever for?"
"Some of the board isn't sure having another AmeriCorps member is worth the money, that's all."
So basically, the doings of the first quarter of my term are going to help decide whether they should pull out of this agreement with hosting an AmeriCorps member or not. How could I react positively to this? I may not give much of a shit about this org or AmeriCorps, but I know that this org needs help, and that AmeriCorps members are the best chance they have at getting it. It's the segment of the board that never wanted me here to begin with passive-aggressively trying to find a grounds on which to say, "I told you so".
She detects this negativity in my voice. She says, "let me just come over there and talk in person [click]".
"Calm down," she implores me, pushing down air in advance of her steps forward, "calm down!" It's interesting to be treated like a rabid dog when really you feel more like a lazy cat.
Five minutes ensued of her trying to assure me it was a reasonable request (no argument from me), that I should take is personally (totally am not), and to focus on the positive (what positive and who made you Dr. Phil?).
What I couldn't say to her was that I don't care enough to take it personally or get riled. If this organization doesn't want to continue hosting people like me because I didn't turn their organization around in 3 months without their help (which I haven't gotten much of), their loss. I will not be seeking a second term, regardless.
For those keeping track, by the way, the ideas floating around currently for what to do next look like this for the most part.
- Pittsburgh, if we can buy a house and don't hate the place after visiting.
- NYC, if Nicole gets into a grad program there.
- East Bay, if all else fails and we are sick of being adventurous and just want to be comfortable.
- Portland, if anyone, ever, finds a job there.
- Seattle, if we can all be bunnies in a nice house in Queen Anne.
Hey! Speaking of things that are unfortunate and useless, I just had a lovely such moment with one of the board members of my organization. She tells me I have to prepare some sort of report for the next board meeting to update the directors on what's been accomplished in my 3 months on the job.
"Oh, okay," I say, "what ever for?"
"Some of the board isn't sure having another AmeriCorps member is worth the money, that's all."
So basically, the doings of the first quarter of my term are going to help decide whether they should pull out of this agreement with hosting an AmeriCorps member or not. How could I react positively to this? I may not give much of a shit about this org or AmeriCorps, but I know that this org needs help, and that AmeriCorps members are the best chance they have at getting it. It's the segment of the board that never wanted me here to begin with passive-aggressively trying to find a grounds on which to say, "I told you so".
She detects this negativity in my voice. She says, "let me just come over there and talk in person [click]".
"Calm down," she implores me, pushing down air in advance of her steps forward, "calm down!" It's interesting to be treated like a rabid dog when really you feel more like a lazy cat.
Five minutes ensued of her trying to assure me it was a reasonable request (no argument from me), that I should take is personally (totally am not), and to focus on the positive (what positive and who made you Dr. Phil?).
What I couldn't say to her was that I don't care enough to take it personally or get riled. If this organization doesn't want to continue hosting people like me because I didn't turn their organization around in 3 months without their help (which I haven't gotten much of), their loss. I will not be seeking a second term, regardless.
For those keeping track, by the way, the ideas floating around currently for what to do next look like this for the most part.
- Pittsburgh, if we can buy a house and don't hate the place after visiting.
- NYC, if Nicole gets into a grad program there.
- East Bay, if all else fails and we are sick of being adventurous and just want to be comfortable.
- Portland, if anyone, ever, finds a job there.
- Seattle, if we can all be bunnies in a nice house in Queen Anne.