"Put those whites on cold...freeze you fucking crackers!" - Motivational black guy from Air Bud
Went to LA this weekend to flier for MSI. And here's a little story on how it went:
I arrive in Fullerton at approx. 3:45. The drive was alright, no traffic, made average time. Me and Nathan don't hang out there very long until we take off to Huntington Beach in his car. The plan was he drives us down there, we pick up Renee, we head to Hollywood, flier, then to Anaheim, flier, and back to Fullerton where I take Renee back and stay the night. Well, due to Nathan wanting to hang out with his girlfriend at an inopportune time, that plan got botched.
When we arrive at Huntington Beach, Renee isn't home. She's at the 7-11 and coming back. Well, she didn't even have the fliers printed out, so this goes from a quick pick up to making fun of how messy her house is and playing around in her backyard for an hour. Get this: in her kitchen, they have 4 coffee makers. ALL of them next to each other. They also have 3 cordless phones on receivers all next to each other as well. Only one supposedly works. In her backyard, we feared for our life on her deck, while finding water guns and just shooting random shit. We also jumped around on her dock, which was safer than the deck. Nathan ends up taking off, so the plan shifted from us all fliering to me taking Renee's car (since she can't legally drive) to Hollywood and so forth.
OK, now let me tell you how much of a piece her car is. It's a Kia. That should just about explain it, but there’s more. When I first get in, there’s pink seat covers, a pink steering wheel cover, some Hello Kitty thing that was on the seat belt, and green fuzzy dice. Now, that’s not so bad, besides the fact that I looked like a total gay driving it. Yes, a gay. When I turn it on, there’s a check engine light that comes on. Renee tells me to ignore it. Everything in the car is standard. No power locks, windows, or side mirrors. Surprisingly, automatic transmission though. That and the color of this thing is a mixture of puke and baby diarrhea.
So we get to Hollywood. After passing the venue about 5 times we finally find it. So we got to fliering. Your pretty standard affair, tape on the back, slap it up somewhere. I had to write out on the fliers myself the venue name and date. Well, to prove how much of an idiot I am, I wrote down the Henry Fonda Theater on ALL fliers, not remembering that we had another venue to do. Ya, I'm dumb. After some more fliering and making fun of the names/people that had Hollywood stars, we left.
Being in Downtown Disney was a breath of fresh air. The street that is Hollywood Blvd. was so dead. And I hate to say this, but we DID walk a lonely road that night. But DT Disney was very lively with people and, ya know, people. We get to the House of Blues and realize how hard it’s going to be to flier. First, there’s almost no where to stick shit, and two, there’s like security and crap around. But, we made due, and found lots of lamp posts and various other shits. Plus I had to rewrite on the remaining fliers the House of Blues and date, which was very tricky to do and make it look not like an idiot wrote it. But we made it work.
At one point Renee had to go to the bathroom, so after fucking 10-15 min of trying to find one I remember this little pizza place that has one. So after she gets done we're looking at all the drinks they have for sale. They have tons of energy drinks and shit, so we pick out what we want (she got some candy flavored carbonated water drink that was a bitch to open, and I got Bawls of course) we tried to figure out how to pay for them. There were two registers opposite from each other. One had a long line with people buying pizza, the other was closed. So we get in the pizza line, and when the lady serving pizza asked us what we wanted, we said we were just buying drinks. She said the line was only for people buying pizza...so we ask her how we can pay for our drinks, and she tells us to hold on. So she talks to the cashier lady and I hear the cashier lady say "get the manager from the other side (of the restaurant)" So she comes back and just says, "Sorry." Just “sorry.” So we're like "WTF MATE?" The manager comes and just walks by and to the cashier lady. So we just walk out, with our drinks. I mean, we WANTED to pay, but they wouldn't let us! And I want my drink, so fuck them.
After we get done, we head back to Nathan’s dorm. He said there’s some party going on, so we go. After spending 8 years finding parking around these fucking apartments, we go inside. Not much of a "party" since its 3 fucking people sitting around drinking and smoking. Irony alert: The chick whose apartment it is let’s people smoke IN her apartment, however makes them take their shoes off as to not fuck up the carpet. Now, I don't know if she's ever been to Vegas, but that constant cigarette smell that lingers in every casino is the smell of cigarette tar in the carpet. You aren’t getting that smell out. No Billy Mayes product out there is going to get it out; it’s ruined for eternity. And I care more about what I'm smelling when I walk into someone’s place that what I see, barring Renee's house. But, whatever.
So after watching them play this game called "caps," where you just throw beer bottle caps into the other teams beer glass and when the other team scores you have to down it, we left. So, somehow we didn't die on the way to Renee's. I don't know how. We should have been fucking dead. It was raining pretty hard, but what made it worse was Renee's fucking windshield wipers. They didn't clear off the water; they SMEARED it on the windshield making it impossible to see out of. So, we have hard rain that reduces visibility, Renee's car smearing fucking water, AND the fact that her car's headlights throw out hardly any light...and well, I just don't see how we're alive. That’s all.
We get back and just sleep. Wake up the next day earlier than we should have just sit around until Nathan's ass picks me up, which was around fucking FIVE for reasons I don't know. Go back to his place, he shows me some shit, burns me a CD, and I'm off. Drive back was OK except half of it was in the dark and that sucks. I hate driving now. It can kiss my ass.
I arrive in Fullerton at approx. 3:45. The drive was alright, no traffic, made average time. Me and Nathan don't hang out there very long until we take off to Huntington Beach in his car. The plan was he drives us down there, we pick up Renee, we head to Hollywood, flier, then to Anaheim, flier, and back to Fullerton where I take Renee back and stay the night. Well, due to Nathan wanting to hang out with his girlfriend at an inopportune time, that plan got botched.
When we arrive at Huntington Beach, Renee isn't home. She's at the 7-11 and coming back. Well, she didn't even have the fliers printed out, so this goes from a quick pick up to making fun of how messy her house is and playing around in her backyard for an hour. Get this: in her kitchen, they have 4 coffee makers. ALL of them next to each other. They also have 3 cordless phones on receivers all next to each other as well. Only one supposedly works. In her backyard, we feared for our life on her deck, while finding water guns and just shooting random shit. We also jumped around on her dock, which was safer than the deck. Nathan ends up taking off, so the plan shifted from us all fliering to me taking Renee's car (since she can't legally drive) to Hollywood and so forth.
OK, now let me tell you how much of a piece her car is. It's a Kia. That should just about explain it, but there’s more. When I first get in, there’s pink seat covers, a pink steering wheel cover, some Hello Kitty thing that was on the seat belt, and green fuzzy dice. Now, that’s not so bad, besides the fact that I looked like a total gay driving it. Yes, a gay. When I turn it on, there’s a check engine light that comes on. Renee tells me to ignore it. Everything in the car is standard. No power locks, windows, or side mirrors. Surprisingly, automatic transmission though. That and the color of this thing is a mixture of puke and baby diarrhea.
So we get to Hollywood. After passing the venue about 5 times we finally find it. So we got to fliering. Your pretty standard affair, tape on the back, slap it up somewhere. I had to write out on the fliers myself the venue name and date. Well, to prove how much of an idiot I am, I wrote down the Henry Fonda Theater on ALL fliers, not remembering that we had another venue to do. Ya, I'm dumb. After some more fliering and making fun of the names/people that had Hollywood stars, we left.
Being in Downtown Disney was a breath of fresh air. The street that is Hollywood Blvd. was so dead. And I hate to say this, but we DID walk a lonely road that night. But DT Disney was very lively with people and, ya know, people. We get to the House of Blues and realize how hard it’s going to be to flier. First, there’s almost no where to stick shit, and two, there’s like security and crap around. But, we made due, and found lots of lamp posts and various other shits. Plus I had to rewrite on the remaining fliers the House of Blues and date, which was very tricky to do and make it look not like an idiot wrote it. But we made it work.
At one point Renee had to go to the bathroom, so after fucking 10-15 min of trying to find one I remember this little pizza place that has one. So after she gets done we're looking at all the drinks they have for sale. They have tons of energy drinks and shit, so we pick out what we want (she got some candy flavored carbonated water drink that was a bitch to open, and I got Bawls of course) we tried to figure out how to pay for them. There were two registers opposite from each other. One had a long line with people buying pizza, the other was closed. So we get in the pizza line, and when the lady serving pizza asked us what we wanted, we said we were just buying drinks. She said the line was only for people buying pizza...so we ask her how we can pay for our drinks, and she tells us to hold on. So she talks to the cashier lady and I hear the cashier lady say "get the manager from the other side (of the restaurant)" So she comes back and just says, "Sorry." Just “sorry.” So we're like "WTF MATE?" The manager comes and just walks by and to the cashier lady. So we just walk out, with our drinks. I mean, we WANTED to pay, but they wouldn't let us! And I want my drink, so fuck them.
After we get done, we head back to Nathan’s dorm. He said there’s some party going on, so we go. After spending 8 years finding parking around these fucking apartments, we go inside. Not much of a "party" since its 3 fucking people sitting around drinking and smoking. Irony alert: The chick whose apartment it is let’s people smoke IN her apartment, however makes them take their shoes off as to not fuck up the carpet. Now, I don't know if she's ever been to Vegas, but that constant cigarette smell that lingers in every casino is the smell of cigarette tar in the carpet. You aren’t getting that smell out. No Billy Mayes product out there is going to get it out; it’s ruined for eternity. And I care more about what I'm smelling when I walk into someone’s place that what I see, barring Renee's house. But, whatever.
So after watching them play this game called "caps," where you just throw beer bottle caps into the other teams beer glass and when the other team scores you have to down it, we left. So, somehow we didn't die on the way to Renee's. I don't know how. We should have been fucking dead. It was raining pretty hard, but what made it worse was Renee's fucking windshield wipers. They didn't clear off the water; they SMEARED it on the windshield making it impossible to see out of. So, we have hard rain that reduces visibility, Renee's car smearing fucking water, AND the fact that her car's headlights throw out hardly any light...and well, I just don't see how we're alive. That’s all.
We get back and just sleep. Wake up the next day earlier than we should have just sit around until Nathan's ass picks me up, which was around fucking FIVE for reasons I don't know. Go back to his place, he shows me some shit, burns me a CD, and I'm off. Drive back was OK except half of it was in the dark and that sucks. I hate driving now. It can kiss my ass.