What is meant for me.....
Over the past few weeks the relationship between myself and my brother has steadily declined, consequently the relationship between myself and the rest of my family has also suffered. Fits the pattern really, ever since I've come home every relationship I've been in has suffered either through my actions or the actions of others. This has led me to quite the realization, what is meant for me is not what I thought. I am certain that there is no Mrs. William McCaskey in my future. I will not hear the sound of my children's laughter, nor will I watch them take their first steps, nor send them on their first day to school, nor will I watch them graduate from high school and move on to bigger and better things for I will have none. For me is meant the endless struggle, I am warrior born and warrior destined.
As much as I want to sit face to face with her and tell her that I would put the ring on her finger tonight and say the vows tomorrow I know that I will not. She is happy and for that I would suffer a thousand years and a thousand hells. So I will take as my wife the woman who will accept me, faults and all, and all she will ask of me is that I be willing to fight and die for her. I said my vows the day I enlisted, our wedding bells were gunfire and it was sealed in blood. When I fall, I know not when I know not where I fall I will I pray that whatever is inscribed on my tombstone it is said that I loved my country and for her I gave my all, because I could not give it for her.
My mind is made up. I'm going again.