Close call
Today at work, I took the opportunity to offer Richard a 'focus massage.' That is a 35minute massage that focuses on one area of the body....minds out of the gutter people, he chose his shoulder, back and neck. I gave up my break to work on him (big of me wasn't it...) It was really wonderful. When I was massaging his neck, I was so taken with looking at him and feeling him, that it became a very sensuous massage. when we finished, he reached up and pulled me to him and we kissed...and kissed...and, well, that was all, we kissed. He asked what time I got off work tomorrow and told me he'd give me a call about our date. (God, I like this man!)
After work, I exited the subway to discover that Richard had called my cell and left a message. I listen to the message. He sounded very emotional and said that the owner of the spa had called him and inquired about our dating. Richard has known the guy for years. anyway, his message said that Richard didn't think he should date me and that he was really sorry and getting emotional and to call him. WTF!
So, I called him immediately! He sounded upset and emotional--I took that as a good sign. It meant that he was interested enough in me to be upset about not dating. We spoke. I told him that our personal life wasn't anybody's business. We both had become very uncomfortable about not being able to interact at work. We were avoiding even looking at each other, so no one would think we were interested in each other. This wasn't working real well for either of us. we both felt it really false. Anyway, I told him that I knew he'd been burned in the past by dating people he worked with. I emphatically reminded him that he may have dated people at work before, but he had never dated me! I am not those other people!! I told him I thought he was a really wonderful guy that I was very interested in dating and getting to know. We talked about his fears and worries. He said I helped to calm them. I told him that we were still getting to know one another; but, from what I knew of him, he was really special (and not short bus special!). I told him that I had felt a connection when we met and he agreed that he felt a connection too. I told him that we didn't know where this was going but wouldn't it be foolish to throw away what could possibly be a wonderful experience before it even began? We may not fit or we may be phenomenal together. We just don't know. Either way it is worth exploring. We talked for a while and I asked him what I could do to help him feel more comfortable. he said just having this conversation was what he needed. He told me he had never had a relationship in which his partner was able to carry on this type of conversation. He said he was thankful that I could not only hear what he was saying, but process it, and clearly communicate back. He sid he would like a lot more of these conversations. I told him anytime.
After our talk, he mentioned that he was meeting some friends in the east village for drinks and invited me to join him. He gave me the name and address of the bar and said I was welcomed to meet him there otherwise he would see me tomorrow night for our date.
I arrived at the bar an hour before he did. That really sucked because I am not a bar person and I didn't know anyone! Once he arrived, he was surprised I was there--pleasantly surprised! We kissed and held each other briefly (it was a mixed bar-gay and straight) Then he took me to meet his friends. His friends were really nice, very friendly towards me. We stood around and talked and laughed and had a god time. It was so crowded that I was waiting for the bar to pass out lube! Anyway, Richard leaned over to me and said to let him know when I was ready to leave and he would leave with me. Since I have to work first thing in the morning, I told him I was ready to go anytime.
We left and shared a cab We were headed to my place to drop me off then he would continue to his place. In the cab, I told him he was invited to stay over--knowing he would refuse. He just smiled, shook his head, and said "Slowly." "I know," I told him, "I just wanted you to know you had an invitation." We rode in the cab holding hands and cuddling. As I got out of the cab, we kissed and smiled. He looked to damn cue looking out the window at me as I walked away...
After work, I exited the subway to discover that Richard had called my cell and left a message. I listen to the message. He sounded very emotional and said that the owner of the spa had called him and inquired about our dating. Richard has known the guy for years. anyway, his message said that Richard didn't think he should date me and that he was really sorry and getting emotional and to call him. WTF!
So, I called him immediately! He sounded upset and emotional--I took that as a good sign. It meant that he was interested enough in me to be upset about not dating. We spoke. I told him that our personal life wasn't anybody's business. We both had become very uncomfortable about not being able to interact at work. We were avoiding even looking at each other, so no one would think we were interested in each other. This wasn't working real well for either of us. we both felt it really false. Anyway, I told him that I knew he'd been burned in the past by dating people he worked with. I emphatically reminded him that he may have dated people at work before, but he had never dated me! I am not those other people!! I told him I thought he was a really wonderful guy that I was very interested in dating and getting to know. We talked about his fears and worries. He said I helped to calm them. I told him that we were still getting to know one another; but, from what I knew of him, he was really special (and not short bus special!). I told him that I had felt a connection when we met and he agreed that he felt a connection too. I told him that we didn't know where this was going but wouldn't it be foolish to throw away what could possibly be a wonderful experience before it even began? We may not fit or we may be phenomenal together. We just don't know. Either way it is worth exploring. We talked for a while and I asked him what I could do to help him feel more comfortable. he said just having this conversation was what he needed. He told me he had never had a relationship in which his partner was able to carry on this type of conversation. He said he was thankful that I could not only hear what he was saying, but process it, and clearly communicate back. He sid he would like a lot more of these conversations. I told him anytime.
After our talk, he mentioned that he was meeting some friends in the east village for drinks and invited me to join him. He gave me the name and address of the bar and said I was welcomed to meet him there otherwise he would see me tomorrow night for our date.
I arrived at the bar an hour before he did. That really sucked because I am not a bar person and I didn't know anyone! Once he arrived, he was surprised I was there--pleasantly surprised! We kissed and held each other briefly (it was a mixed bar-gay and straight) Then he took me to meet his friends. His friends were really nice, very friendly towards me. We stood around and talked and laughed and had a god time. It was so crowded that I was waiting for the bar to pass out lube! Anyway, Richard leaned over to me and said to let him know when I was ready to leave and he would leave with me. Since I have to work first thing in the morning, I told him I was ready to go anytime.
We left and shared a cab We were headed to my place to drop me off then he would continue to his place. In the cab, I told him he was invited to stay over--knowing he would refuse. He just smiled, shook his head, and said "Slowly." "I know," I told him, "I just wanted you to know you had an invitation." We rode in the cab holding hands and cuddling. As I got out of the cab, we kissed and smiled. He looked to damn cue looking out the window at me as I walked away...