(no subject)
someone got shot at ernies cafe a minute after i'd just walked out the door. it's had me rattled all week. the shooter ran out the back door and shot two kids in the back of the head a few blocks away. dead. he's on the loose. he'd already tried to kill someone when he was seventeen, and spent four years in jail. this is two weeks in a row there have been guns at ernies. Why do i feel the need to be at the sketchiest joint in every town? i could've caught that bullet if it had gone astray. he shot the guy right in the face, then the chest, in the little hallway that leads to the bathrooms that i'd just been to.
the week before, a guy tried to rape the girl my co worker gerrard had been with and has a kid with, so he told his brothers. i'd seen the commotion and it had rolled out onto the street. the guy pulled a knife on gerrards brothers. gerrards little brother pulled a gun and said "never bring a knife to a gun fight." gerrard told me the next day that what i'd seen was his brothers. he said he's afraid of his youngest brother. 31 and spent 16 years in jail. tells gerrard he wants to die on the streets, never wants to work a day in his life.
gerrard has become a friend of mine, straight from the hood, three kids out of wedlock, busting his butt hard to provide cuz he knows he screwed up. he steers clear of the trouble, but the crowd at ernies is his. it's a predominantly black bar. i go there because no one talks to me, the beer is eighty cents a draft, they've got a good pinball machine, good late night food, and occassionally if gerrard goes out i can get in on some pool on the one table in the back. the cops sweep through the joint regularly. there are signs that say "please no using drugs in our bathrooms" and "please no selling of drugs on these premises"
saturday night, around twelve o clock, a guy with corn rows had been sitting next to me eating a good sized sandwich. he caught me eyeing it. "yo boss, get you some of this!" he said in a friendly gangsterish manner. we joked a for a few minutes about the drunk college kid who'd just wandered in waving big money in the air saying he wanted to buy the entire bar drinks. brenda told him to "...get lost, put yer money away." dangerous move waving those bills in the air at ernies. i ended up getting a bowl of soup, and when i was done i left, went back to the boat.
in the morning i walked the quiet streets before work. ernies was cordoned off, the state police major crime unit was there. i found out about the shootings.
the following mornings newspaper had a picture of a young man with cornrows shown as the murderer... i'm not sure...but...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
yesterday i was talking to gerrard and to al, the cook, in the galley about having been at ernies friday night. "you guys know it's the worst place in town but you keeep going there you ----ing idiots!" he yelled at us. "you have a death wish or something?!" and al was right. how do i belong at a place like that?
i told gerrard " because we want to go to a place that has 'some action' whether it's a homeless drunk yelling at a wall or a scuffle at the pool table... we think we're OK because we're keeping to ourselves. but that could have been us with a bullet in the face. i said "gerrard, man, you've got three kids who depend on your paycheck every week. they can read the paper. they know about ernies. how are you going to tell you're son about hanging out there and have him feel his dad's gonna be all right?"
one of the kids shot in the back of the head was a distant cousin of gerrards. and he told me of seeing friends murdered when he was a kid, in the projects. and he said i was right. "i've got to keep putting distance between myself and that lifestyle and never look back. when my best friends brother was killed in front of me, we said we wasn't gonna do that life anymore, and we didn't. for six months. and we were back at it after that."
it's not a game, this pretending to be a rough and tumble sailor. it's stupid. last weekend it could've cost me my life.
the week before, a guy tried to rape the girl my co worker gerrard had been with and has a kid with, so he told his brothers. i'd seen the commotion and it had rolled out onto the street. the guy pulled a knife on gerrards brothers. gerrards little brother pulled a gun and said "never bring a knife to a gun fight." gerrard told me the next day that what i'd seen was his brothers. he said he's afraid of his youngest brother. 31 and spent 16 years in jail. tells gerrard he wants to die on the streets, never wants to work a day in his life.
gerrard has become a friend of mine, straight from the hood, three kids out of wedlock, busting his butt hard to provide cuz he knows he screwed up. he steers clear of the trouble, but the crowd at ernies is his. it's a predominantly black bar. i go there because no one talks to me, the beer is eighty cents a draft, they've got a good pinball machine, good late night food, and occassionally if gerrard goes out i can get in on some pool on the one table in the back. the cops sweep through the joint regularly. there are signs that say "please no using drugs in our bathrooms" and "please no selling of drugs on these premises"
saturday night, around twelve o clock, a guy with corn rows had been sitting next to me eating a good sized sandwich. he caught me eyeing it. "yo boss, get you some of this!" he said in a friendly gangsterish manner. we joked a for a few minutes about the drunk college kid who'd just wandered in waving big money in the air saying he wanted to buy the entire bar drinks. brenda told him to "...get lost, put yer money away." dangerous move waving those bills in the air at ernies. i ended up getting a bowl of soup, and when i was done i left, went back to the boat.
in the morning i walked the quiet streets before work. ernies was cordoned off, the state police major crime unit was there. i found out about the shootings.
the following mornings newspaper had a picture of a young man with cornrows shown as the murderer... i'm not sure...but...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
yesterday i was talking to gerrard and to al, the cook, in the galley about having been at ernies friday night. "you guys know it's the worst place in town but you keeep going there you ----ing idiots!" he yelled at us. "you have a death wish or something?!" and al was right. how do i belong at a place like that?
i told gerrard " because we want to go to a place that has 'some action' whether it's a homeless drunk yelling at a wall or a scuffle at the pool table... we think we're OK because we're keeping to ourselves. but that could have been us with a bullet in the face. i said "gerrard, man, you've got three kids who depend on your paycheck every week. they can read the paper. they know about ernies. how are you going to tell you're son about hanging out there and have him feel his dad's gonna be all right?"
one of the kids shot in the back of the head was a distant cousin of gerrards. and he told me of seeing friends murdered when he was a kid, in the projects. and he said i was right. "i've got to keep putting distance between myself and that lifestyle and never look back. when my best friends brother was killed in front of me, we said we wasn't gonna do that life anymore, and we didn't. for six months. and we were back at it after that."
it's not a game, this pretending to be a rough and tumble sailor. it's stupid. last weekend it could've cost me my life.