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Ugh. All I feel is numbness right now. Is numb even a feeling? I feel like all God can do right now is look down at me, weep and ask the very question Jesus had, "Lama sabachthani? (Why have you forsaken me?)" It seems like everything I do is wrong.
I hate to have another depressing entry after such a lovely one before, but I can't help it. What's a fella to do, seriously? I feel like the people I hang out with hate me, even though I know they don't. So I say, screw 'em. I come home, look in the mirror and see nothing. I just want to look in the mirror and see something...God, anything, again, like I used to.
I feel as if I have nowhere to turn, no matter what I read, pray, do, who I talk to, et cetera. I'm so empty right now, and I don't know why. I don't even care what my feelings are anymore, as long as there is SOMETHING there, even if that means pain.
For those that fear I'm falling off into the deep end, don't fear. I'm just depressed, I'll get over it I'm sure. I always do.
Oh yeah, and my woodburning tip that I bought today broke after 10 minutes of use. There goes having a hobby for a few days. Dang.
"Depression is like a constipated rhino sitting on your chest."
--Rob Anderson, "The Black Book"--