Frankie sez- Relax
So anyone who knows me knows that I'm going to med school next year (or they should, it's part of my "hi nice to meet you" script, happens when someone asks what I'm doing and I need to talk about the "real" plans). People who know me better know that I've spazzed out about it a few times and people that really know me know that I've had a little breakdown about it. This is mainly stemming from
-the unknown- I still don't have any sort of picture of what I want my life to be like in 10, 15 years and I feel like I should, although I also know that having a clear picture is the best way to miss opportunities and miss out on what could actually be more beneficial to me since I'm rigidly clinging to this idea in my head
-the fact that I'm kind of a perfectionist
-I have a problem when comparing myself to other people in that I have a poor grasp on my abilities and talents yet a very clear picture of my failings and flaws
-I think I have a fear of success that I don't totally understand
-I put his incredible pressure on myself to live my life to the fullest and to really do what I'm supposed to be doing and I doubt myself a lot
Anyway I feel like I'm getting to the point where I can accept the responsibility that I'm going to be getting with a clear and calm mind. Part of this is the fact that I've been reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections, the sort of biography of Carl Jung. This is mainly reaffirming the fact that I kind of want to be a psychiatrist mainly because the mind has always interested me and I think that the field is still fairly plastic (and speaking of, neuroplasticity is both brain-altering and mind blowing). Honestly I just want to hook some monks up to some electrodes at some point but I digress
The second part to this coming to terms is due to my having to sit next to my friend Emily's parents on the way back from Vegas. I'd never really talked with her dad a lot but I just knew that he is a doctor. Well we chitchatted before takeoff and then when we landed again, and when we had landed he said something really interesting- that medicine is an art. While it uses scientific principles and scientifically gathered data in order to make decisions and reason, when it is all said and done it is an art form. Something about that made me feel extremely comfortable, mainly knowing that I can do this and still be an artist.
-the unknown- I still don't have any sort of picture of what I want my life to be like in 10, 15 years and I feel like I should, although I also know that having a clear picture is the best way to miss opportunities and miss out on what could actually be more beneficial to me since I'm rigidly clinging to this idea in my head
-the fact that I'm kind of a perfectionist
-I have a problem when comparing myself to other people in that I have a poor grasp on my abilities and talents yet a very clear picture of my failings and flaws
-I think I have a fear of success that I don't totally understand
-I put his incredible pressure on myself to live my life to the fullest and to really do what I'm supposed to be doing and I doubt myself a lot
Anyway I feel like I'm getting to the point where I can accept the responsibility that I'm going to be getting with a clear and calm mind. Part of this is the fact that I've been reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections, the sort of biography of Carl Jung. This is mainly reaffirming the fact that I kind of want to be a psychiatrist mainly because the mind has always interested me and I think that the field is still fairly plastic (and speaking of, neuroplasticity is both brain-altering and mind blowing). Honestly I just want to hook some monks up to some electrodes at some point but I digress
The second part to this coming to terms is due to my having to sit next to my friend Emily's parents on the way back from Vegas. I'd never really talked with her dad a lot but I just knew that he is a doctor. Well we chitchatted before takeoff and then when we landed again, and when we had landed he said something really interesting- that medicine is an art. While it uses scientific principles and scientifically gathered data in order to make decisions and reason, when it is all said and done it is an art form. Something about that made me feel extremely comfortable, mainly knowing that I can do this and still be an artist.