Vacation comes to an end...

[mattccook]

so it's been since before Thanksgiving break that i wrote in this. actually it's been since then that i've even looked at a computer or gotten online for that matter. it's been such a long week, but it went by so fast. started out with a bang. i did something i never thought i would, oh how liberating it was! i finally told Christina how i feel. how i really do love her, and how i feel now that i know what love is, because really i didn't when we were younger, oh young love, what a feeling... haha. so much has changed, but that aspect of my life hasn't. i've only really continued to care alot about her. i'm really glad i told her, it doesn't change anything, i don't really know if i truely wanted it to.. i just think we have a great friendship that i don't think we could actually screwup. i think she knew i have always cared for her, but we used to say 'love'. only now i can say it and not have it put thoughts of wanting to be with her in my head. i'm so glad i have friends, especially her. i told my mom about it, what i told Chrissy. i told her how scared i was, and how much i really want to have a lifetime friendship with someone, she let me know how tough that is. but she said that with those friends that you really love and care about, that time can pass, and just seeing them means the world... no words have to be said. i already have that with a couple of my friends, but mainly her. i'm definately not in love, because my feelings for Christina aren't like that. they're more person to person, rather than guy-girl.. and that really has been quite a change for me in the last couple years. it was always hard to separate attraction, physical love, with a personal love for someone. i've reached somesort of plataeu. don't exactly know how to explain it really. i'm just really satisfied, and i hope (if you read this Chrissy) that me tellin you that earlier this week satisfied any bit of questioning you had. and know that this week did me alot of good, like i said earlier tonite.

well maybe tomorrow i'll get to the golf course and enjoy myself somemore. tomorrow i might followup on this entry and tell ya the nice time i had on my WHOLE week off Stace! (cause i know you only got 3 short days off of school) a full week! it was tough trying to fit in things to do.. ha.

take care,

mcc