lost it in an H1N1 fugue state
i know i had my wallet in the back pocket of my blue shants last night.
all i did the past 2 days was lay around with pig flu,
so i didn't want to lay on the bump.. but i left it in so i wouldn't lose it.
like in AMC's "Breaking Bad" when Malcom's dad does these terrible terrible things for his family, but at the end of season 2, they leave him.
maybe it's not quite the same as theft, meth, & murder, but i was laid up.
i have no idea where my wallet is.
i know where it isn't:
my dress pants, my shants, my microwave, my dad's car, my shirt pocket, the pantry, the freezer, my coffee table, my bed, the huge stack of clean clothes on my other bed, the inside of my computer, my desk, the game/coat/vacuum closet, the record shelf (where i found 1.5 bagel), the bookshelf, the medicine cabinet.
maybe that 3-day-old ruben i ate reacted to the musinex & sudafed & chile rellenos to raise me up in my sleep like a zombie, who decided to put the wallet somewhere safe, like the butter shelf or the tape deck. newp.
maybe whoever beat me up in my sleep took it.
i bet it was B/l/a/c/k/w/a/t/e/r.
hired by the b/i/l/d/e/r/b/e/r/g/s to shut me up about swine flu being a scare tactic the man's using to usher us into a n/e/w/w/o/r/l/d/o/r/d/e/r/p/o/l/i/c/e/s/t/a/t/e.
where are you, wallet?
you have betrayed me, but i forgive you.
all i did the past 2 days was lay around with pig flu,
so i didn't want to lay on the bump.. but i left it in so i wouldn't lose it.
like in AMC's "Breaking Bad" when Malcom's dad does these terrible terrible things for his family, but at the end of season 2, they leave him.
maybe it's not quite the same as theft, meth, & murder, but i was laid up.
i have no idea where my wallet is.
i know where it isn't:
my dress pants, my shants, my microwave, my dad's car, my shirt pocket, the pantry, the freezer, my coffee table, my bed, the huge stack of clean clothes on my other bed, the inside of my computer, my desk, the game/coat/vacuum closet, the record shelf (where i found 1.5 bagel), the bookshelf, the medicine cabinet.
maybe that 3-day-old ruben i ate reacted to the musinex & sudafed & chile rellenos to raise me up in my sleep like a zombie, who decided to put the wallet somewhere safe, like the butter shelf or the tape deck. newp.
maybe whoever beat me up in my sleep took it.
i bet it was B/l/a/c/k/w/a/t/e/r.
hired by the b/i/l/d/e/r/b/e/r/g/s to shut me up about swine flu being a scare tactic the man's using to usher us into a n/e/w/w/o/r/l/d/o/r/d/e/r/p/o/l/i/c/e/s/t/a/t/e.
where are you, wallet?
you have betrayed me, but i forgive you.
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