Let's try this again...
[part 1]
Fuck, I hate computers. Heh.
I really don't. I just hate people not knowing how to fix their own shit.
Wait, no, not that either. They're my customer base. LOL. I know... I hate that people don't know how to take care of their computers, and I hate how people always tell you "My compter's not working" but they can never tell you *how* it's not working. Argh. Geeks are more brave than you'd think. Like this. We never have any idea just how deep the pool is, and we always forget that "No Diving" sign that's posted until we see it, after it's too late for that sign to be anything more than a vehical for some comic relief (or perhaps cruel mockery?).
Here's a story for ya kids...
I make computers my bitch. There's really no other way to put it. For example, my last comp was an old Dell OptiPlex with a 400 Mhz processor, 384 megs of RAM, a weeee little HD, and onboard video and audio. Now, granted, the comp I have now has, for comparison, onboard audio, but it's pretty bad ass; It can do Dolby 5.1 surround right off the onboard. The Dell, not so much. LOL... The video and audio on that beast were there as a convenience, not as a selling point for that computer. Hehe. Well, I had a DVD reader in that Dell, but, it did me no good, because the computer was technically Sara's, so it had Windoze for it's operating system. Heh. After the very first time I tried to play a DVD on the computer (LOL, if the computer would have done everything as fast as it told me "Stop trying to make me play this! It hurts! Uncle! Uncle!"...), Windoze wouldnt' even TRY to after that. I finally threw a second hard drive in that comp (this being over a year later, btw... I had forgotten that I even had a DVD-ROM) and had it setup so that when Sara used it, it booted to her HD and Windows, and then for me, it went to my HD and to Linux. Heh. after about 30 minutes of tinkering one day when I rememebered that I had a DVD rom, I had this computer, with the SAME HARDWARE THAT IT HAD WHEN WINDOWS WOULDN'T PLAY A DVD, playing DVDs damn near better than they played when I'd watch them with a DVD player and a television.
That's right. I made that Dell my bitch. Yup, her, and every other computer that's put in front of me, whether it's because it's owner needs me to fix it because "It's broke," or "slow," or whatever, or hell, sometimes I pimp slap 'em just because I happen to want the rig i'm working with to do somethign specific at the moment. When I'm done with them, they're doing what I want them to.
Goddess bless computers. I really do love 'em. =)
Oh man, but this little cunt of a Hewlitt-Packard...
(Yeah, as I tell this story, she's sitting at my feet like a good little bitch.)
This computer came to me as a pair of repair jobs. This lady (Connie) that works with Sara's mom brought over this one (which is her home computer) because she was dropping off one from their office that I was gonna get paid to fix. Well, the company computer was easy; needed a cleaning, and the power supply's fan was on the fritz. That was, by the way, my favorite computer repair job, ever. Why? Because that was the first time that I was officially contracted to do a computer job. YAY! I was (still am!) sooooo happy! I got to give the company a real invoice, their accounting department cut me a check, etc. etc. Finally! If anything, moving down here has at least actually got me headed towards finally doing this shit for a living. =)
Anyways, Connie's computer was one of the typical "I don't actually know what's wrong, but it's broke" kinda things. Well, from what she was describing, I was thinking it'd be a pretty easy job. I was right.
Well, okay, I would have been right, if the first thing I fixed would have actually been the real problem. Or hell, I'd have been happy with it being like, not the real problem, but like, there was only one other thing wrong, or, hell, only two other things wrong... You see where this is going?
So, I get this thing booted up, and I had just enough time to finnish what my first planned battle move was, before the monitor went black. Woo. Even though the I knew the screen was fine, I hooked it up to a second monitor, and it didn't work either, so, I decided to pop the bitch open and make sure everything was nice and snug after it's car ride over here. Wow. I guess maybe it went offroading on it's way over here?
I spent the first almost full hour with her computer with the case completely off, cleaning the living shit out of it. I honest to God have worked on my car before and ended up with cleaner hands than this HP gave me. I wish I'd have taken pictures. Remember the "No Diving" signs I was talking about earlier? Yeah, the dust bunnies in the case were each holding up a little sign.
Fuck, I hate computers. Heh.
I really don't. I just hate people not knowing how to fix their own shit.
Wait, no, not that either. They're my customer base. LOL. I know... I hate that people don't know how to take care of their computers, and I hate how people always tell you "My compter's not working" but they can never tell you *how* it's not working. Argh. Geeks are more brave than you'd think. Like this. We never have any idea just how deep the pool is, and we always forget that "No Diving" sign that's posted until we see it, after it's too late for that sign to be anything more than a vehical for some comic relief (or perhaps cruel mockery?).
Here's a story for ya kids...
I make computers my bitch. There's really no other way to put it. For example, my last comp was an old Dell OptiPlex with a 400 Mhz processor, 384 megs of RAM, a weeee little HD, and onboard video and audio. Now, granted, the comp I have now has, for comparison, onboard audio, but it's pretty bad ass; It can do Dolby 5.1 surround right off the onboard. The Dell, not so much. LOL... The video and audio on that beast were there as a convenience, not as a selling point for that computer. Hehe. Well, I had a DVD reader in that Dell, but, it did me no good, because the computer was technically Sara's, so it had Windoze for it's operating system. Heh. After the very first time I tried to play a DVD on the computer (LOL, if the computer would have done everything as fast as it told me "Stop trying to make me play this! It hurts! Uncle! Uncle!"...), Windoze wouldnt' even TRY to after that. I finally threw a second hard drive in that comp (this being over a year later, btw... I had forgotten that I even had a DVD-ROM) and had it setup so that when Sara used it, it booted to her HD and Windows, and then for me, it went to my HD and to Linux. Heh. after about 30 minutes of tinkering one day when I rememebered that I had a DVD rom, I had this computer, with the SAME HARDWARE THAT IT HAD WHEN WINDOWS WOULDN'T PLAY A DVD, playing DVDs damn near better than they played when I'd watch them with a DVD player and a television.
That's right. I made that Dell my bitch. Yup, her, and every other computer that's put in front of me, whether it's because it's owner needs me to fix it because "It's broke," or "slow," or whatever, or hell, sometimes I pimp slap 'em just because I happen to want the rig i'm working with to do somethign specific at the moment. When I'm done with them, they're doing what I want them to.
Goddess bless computers. I really do love 'em. =)
Oh man, but this little cunt of a Hewlitt-Packard...
(Yeah, as I tell this story, she's sitting at my feet like a good little bitch.)
This computer came to me as a pair of repair jobs. This lady (Connie) that works with Sara's mom brought over this one (which is her home computer) because she was dropping off one from their office that I was gonna get paid to fix. Well, the company computer was easy; needed a cleaning, and the power supply's fan was on the fritz. That was, by the way, my favorite computer repair job, ever. Why? Because that was the first time that I was officially contracted to do a computer job. YAY! I was (still am!) sooooo happy! I got to give the company a real invoice, their accounting department cut me a check, etc. etc. Finally! If anything, moving down here has at least actually got me headed towards finally doing this shit for a living. =)
Anyways, Connie's computer was one of the typical "I don't actually know what's wrong, but it's broke" kinda things. Well, from what she was describing, I was thinking it'd be a pretty easy job. I was right.
Well, okay, I would have been right, if the first thing I fixed would have actually been the real problem. Or hell, I'd have been happy with it being like, not the real problem, but like, there was only one other thing wrong, or, hell, only two other things wrong... You see where this is going?
So, I get this thing booted up, and I had just enough time to finnish what my first planned battle move was, before the monitor went black. Woo. Even though the I knew the screen was fine, I hooked it up to a second monitor, and it didn't work either, so, I decided to pop the bitch open and make sure everything was nice and snug after it's car ride over here. Wow. I guess maybe it went offroading on it's way over here?
I spent the first almost full hour with her computer with the case completely off, cleaning the living shit out of it. I honest to God have worked on my car before and ended up with cleaner hands than this HP gave me. I wish I'd have taken pictures. Remember the "No Diving" signs I was talking about earlier? Yeah, the dust bunnies in the case were each holding up a little sign.