My World
In 9 days I will be one more year closer to 30. The big Two Nine. I haven't made a journal entry in awhile but today i feel compelled to. Lately I find myself anxious, impatient, nervous. As my birthday grows closer I am coming to realize that I am almost thirty and yet to have had a single significant relationship. Not one. Sure I had a girlfriend for about a week...but I wouldn't call that a relationship. It was more of a fleeting moment of loneliness that was remedied and then thrust back upon me when she left for europe and then came back to live with another guy. (I trademark this story)
I've had my share of sparks. Moments that could have turned into something more than just a glimmer of light. But something always got in the way and those sparks just dissapeared. I'm not saying I want a relationship this moment. They take time to develope. There are many steps to take before you get to that stage, but it would be nice to at least see a spark. To see that something could develope if given a chance.
I have become the master of the friend zone. Every girl I have meet, I have quickly become friends with. And although I cherish the friendships I have made and would not trade them in for anything in the world it is still frustrating that I can't seem to find something beyond friendship.
Currently my interests have shifted towards another. I am trying to make myself available, but I fear I may have fallen into the friend zone already. She has just recently become single but already it seems there is a line of guys that were waiting for her to become available. My lack of expierence in this department leaves me at a disadvantage. I dont want to move in too quickly for fear of running her off or become the rebound kid. But I dont want ot move to slowly and miss out because I waited to long. It is a fine line we walk in this game of love. I've always had the problem of waiting to long. Back in high school I would ho and hum and try to braven myself up to ask a girl out only to find out just as I am about to the day before someone else had. I also had trouble reading the signs. I'm not as wishy washy as I was back then but for some reason lately butterflies can be felt when trying to ask people out. I don't know....I guess I just wanted to write this out so I could see my thoughts in writing.
On another note I reconnected with someone from my past. Most of the time I try to get away from my past but every now and again I take a peek. In my boredom at work i started googeling peoples name that popped into my head. I found out that I am CEO and a cross dresser. I typed in the name of an old friend I hadn't seen in over 10 years. Didn't think I would find anything but there was a picture and it looked just like here. Found an email and lo and behold it was her. I actually just got an email from her this morning. Reconnecting with this part of my past is pretty cool. I hope that we will get a chance to be better friends. This isn't the first time though I have found an old friend online. Last year I found PercussiveBunny on MySpace. This was very cool. (Hello there Holly) We went to high school together. So yea meeting FRIENDS from the past is cool. Meeting assholes is not.
Well this has turned into a long post. So I shall end it........NOW
I've had my share of sparks. Moments that could have turned into something more than just a glimmer of light. But something always got in the way and those sparks just dissapeared. I'm not saying I want a relationship this moment. They take time to develope. There are many steps to take before you get to that stage, but it would be nice to at least see a spark. To see that something could develope if given a chance.
I have become the master of the friend zone. Every girl I have meet, I have quickly become friends with. And although I cherish the friendships I have made and would not trade them in for anything in the world it is still frustrating that I can't seem to find something beyond friendship.
Currently my interests have shifted towards another. I am trying to make myself available, but I fear I may have fallen into the friend zone already. She has just recently become single but already it seems there is a line of guys that were waiting for her to become available. My lack of expierence in this department leaves me at a disadvantage. I dont want to move in too quickly for fear of running her off or become the rebound kid. But I dont want ot move to slowly and miss out because I waited to long. It is a fine line we walk in this game of love. I've always had the problem of waiting to long. Back in high school I would ho and hum and try to braven myself up to ask a girl out only to find out just as I am about to the day before someone else had. I also had trouble reading the signs. I'm not as wishy washy as I was back then but for some reason lately butterflies can be felt when trying to ask people out. I don't know....I guess I just wanted to write this out so I could see my thoughts in writing.
On another note I reconnected with someone from my past. Most of the time I try to get away from my past but every now and again I take a peek. In my boredom at work i started googeling peoples name that popped into my head. I found out that I am CEO and a cross dresser. I typed in the name of an old friend I hadn't seen in over 10 years. Didn't think I would find anything but there was a picture and it looked just like here. Found an email and lo and behold it was her. I actually just got an email from her this morning. Reconnecting with this part of my past is pretty cool. I hope that we will get a chance to be better friends. This isn't the first time though I have found an old friend online. Last year I found PercussiveBunny on MySpace. This was very cool. (Hello there Holly) We went to high school together. So yea meeting FRIENDS from the past is cool. Meeting assholes is not.
Well this has turned into a long post. So I shall end it........NOW