ConVocation report
I just got back from a day at ConVocation, a local pagan convention. Since I'm not a pagan, many puzzled people have asked me to explain why I would do this. This was only beforehand-- not to the attendees of the convention itself, who seemed mostly indifferent to the presence of unbelievers. (At ConVocation, pretty much everybody is outside the beliefs of everybody else, and it's all accepted.) Simply put, it's a con, so it's an opportunity to meet new people while in the company of my existing friends. Many of my friends are pagan and I don't like not understanding something so important to them. It's an opportunity to shop for prices on the flavor oils that are in the flavoring formula for Open Cola, so I can brew up the black waters of corporate imperialism in my kitchen. This unique use for their product really tickled the oil sellers in the dealers room. There were those who expected me to eventually explode in a fit of apoplectic frustration while attending ConVocation. Not true. My only moment of disgust was when the dance DJ played the country-western song "I'm Just A Redneck Woman." I can't stand that song!
I attended a presentation about pagans in the military, which was kind of interesting as a discussion of religious freedoms. Then there was an event which I really looked forward to called "Finding Truth In Fiction." I expected this to be about finding true lessons or morals in fiction (sometimes not the ones the author intended.) Instead it turned out to be about taking Harry Potter and Charmed and fantasy novels and roleplaying sourcebooks seriously in the ability to summon magic spells with their formulas! It was a demonstration, in my opinion, of how magick (like prayer) at its worst has got NOTHING to do with spirituality. They really should read The Escapist! Fortunately lorrraine was there and turned all of it into a code for something sensible and reasonable. She said magic was story, and story was magic. (In other words, like every good Unitarian Universalist she believes there's no such thing as magic, but being a good Unitarian Universalist she will speak in code to avoid revealing that she thinks this.) lorrraine's contribution was the only meaningful part of the entire session. I did enjoy it when the presenter coined the verb "Scooby-Dooing" to represent rationalists taking the rubber mask off of magick like the Scooby-gang does with the monster at the end of the show. I will use this verb!
The next session I attended was worth the price of the whole day's admission: "Pagans and Polyamory." I love discussion groups because they don't look to a guru or spiritual teacher; and this one did not disappoint. Concrete, practical, and most of all spiritual-- in the legitimate sense of spiritual-- because we talked in the first person about jealousy, insecurity, fear, love, need, and honesty. Not "spiritual" from boring lectures on quantum metaphysics or airy distant abstractions like gods. Not "spiritual" because of confusing rituals that obscure instead of illuminate. Only help from real people talking about real solutions to real problems in the tangible, non-metaphysical world. Looking around the room, I wondered: after experiencing good results like this, why do any of them need any of that other stuff?
But they do, and I don't deny it. The last event of the day was my first pagan ritual in which they said a high priestess was channeling an Egyptian goddess. There was no reason to suppose this was really the case, but it doesn't matter. It's not about belief or unbelief, it's about the attendees getting whatever satisfaction they get, and they can get it whether it's really a goddess or not. So long as they're not hurting anyone I don't care. It would be pointless to go into the details; there was drumming and dancing and chanting. Oh, and also some very good food. As the ritual was winding down lorrraine asked me if I had attained the understanding that I had come there to seek. The answer is no, not at all. I didn't go there to find out about gods from humans, I went to find out about humans from my own eyes and ears. I now know the "what" of the ritual but I don't know any of the "why" of human motivation. I probably could get the "what" from books, but it tells me nothing about humans. To illustrate: one of the friends who invited me to this ritual asked me if I'd talked to the goddess yet, and when I said, "no," she asked "why not?" and I said, "Why should I?" This was not a rhetorical question. I wanted to ask, "Why do you? Something in your heart motivates you to want to talk with a deity. What is it?" This is not a disrespectful question! Assuming for the sake of argument the gods of ancient Egypt are real. If the goddess is not going to send her followers to hell if they don't do it, then why bother? What need is being met by this? I felt it would be disrespectful to talk to the channeler unless I possessed a felt-need to do so.
But I know the ritual satisfies some kind of need in them, or else it wouldn't exist, and it was eating me alive not knowing what it is even after going through the motions. Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy being an atheist and I feel no curiosity about gods; their followers are what concern me. Especially after the life I've lived with them. I need to know that the pros balance out the cons of religion. Whatever they're getting out of it better have made our species' religious problems damn worthwhile. People are killing each other all over the world for-- for what? So they can dress up like Egyptians? And then it suddenly hit me while writing this-- what if tolerance is the answer to my question about what motivates pagans to perform their rituals? Just hypothesizing here: since the solution to our world's religious hatred and violence is the acceptance of religious differences, the more different a ritual is, the more difference there is to accept. That makes difference attractive for difference's sake! As if to say, "we love and accept each other no matter what, and we're gonna dress up like Egyptians to prove it."
That kind of reminds me of the Wiccan rede. If I recall correctly, it's something like: An it harm none, do as thou wilt is the whole of the law. So... perhaps ConVocation is a celebration of religious difference for difference's sake, because only that can stop the harm religion does to the world. I feel like I just acheived Satori.
I attended a presentation about pagans in the military, which was kind of interesting as a discussion of religious freedoms. Then there was an event which I really looked forward to called "Finding Truth In Fiction." I expected this to be about finding true lessons or morals in fiction (sometimes not the ones the author intended.) Instead it turned out to be about taking Harry Potter and Charmed and fantasy novels and roleplaying sourcebooks seriously in the ability to summon magic spells with their formulas! It was a demonstration, in my opinion, of how magick (like prayer) at its worst has got NOTHING to do with spirituality. They really should read The Escapist! Fortunately lorrraine was there and turned all of it into a code for something sensible and reasonable. She said magic was story, and story was magic. (In other words, like every good Unitarian Universalist she believes there's no such thing as magic, but being a good Unitarian Universalist she will speak in code to avoid revealing that she thinks this.) lorrraine's contribution was the only meaningful part of the entire session. I did enjoy it when the presenter coined the verb "Scooby-Dooing" to represent rationalists taking the rubber mask off of magick like the Scooby-gang does with the monster at the end of the show. I will use this verb!
The next session I attended was worth the price of the whole day's admission: "Pagans and Polyamory." I love discussion groups because they don't look to a guru or spiritual teacher; and this one did not disappoint. Concrete, practical, and most of all spiritual-- in the legitimate sense of spiritual-- because we talked in the first person about jealousy, insecurity, fear, love, need, and honesty. Not "spiritual" from boring lectures on quantum metaphysics or airy distant abstractions like gods. Not "spiritual" because of confusing rituals that obscure instead of illuminate. Only help from real people talking about real solutions to real problems in the tangible, non-metaphysical world. Looking around the room, I wondered: after experiencing good results like this, why do any of them need any of that other stuff?
But they do, and I don't deny it. The last event of the day was my first pagan ritual in which they said a high priestess was channeling an Egyptian goddess. There was no reason to suppose this was really the case, but it doesn't matter. It's not about belief or unbelief, it's about the attendees getting whatever satisfaction they get, and they can get it whether it's really a goddess or not. So long as they're not hurting anyone I don't care. It would be pointless to go into the details; there was drumming and dancing and chanting. Oh, and also some very good food. As the ritual was winding down lorrraine asked me if I had attained the understanding that I had come there to seek. The answer is no, not at all. I didn't go there to find out about gods from humans, I went to find out about humans from my own eyes and ears. I now know the "what" of the ritual but I don't know any of the "why" of human motivation. I probably could get the "what" from books, but it tells me nothing about humans. To illustrate: one of the friends who invited me to this ritual asked me if I'd talked to the goddess yet, and when I said, "no," she asked "why not?" and I said, "Why should I?" This was not a rhetorical question. I wanted to ask, "Why do you? Something in your heart motivates you to want to talk with a deity. What is it?" This is not a disrespectful question! Assuming for the sake of argument the gods of ancient Egypt are real. If the goddess is not going to send her followers to hell if they don't do it, then why bother? What need is being met by this? I felt it would be disrespectful to talk to the channeler unless I possessed a felt-need to do so.
But I know the ritual satisfies some kind of need in them, or else it wouldn't exist, and it was eating me alive not knowing what it is even after going through the motions. Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy being an atheist and I feel no curiosity about gods; their followers are what concern me. Especially after the life I've lived with them. I need to know that the pros balance out the cons of religion. Whatever they're getting out of it better have made our species' religious problems damn worthwhile. People are killing each other all over the world for-- for what? So they can dress up like Egyptians? And then it suddenly hit me while writing this-- what if tolerance is the answer to my question about what motivates pagans to perform their rituals? Just hypothesizing here: since the solution to our world's religious hatred and violence is the acceptance of religious differences, the more different a ritual is, the more difference there is to accept. That makes difference attractive for difference's sake! As if to say, "we love and accept each other no matter what, and we're gonna dress up like Egyptians to prove it."
That kind of reminds me of the Wiccan rede. If I recall correctly, it's something like: An it harm none, do as thou wilt is the whole of the law. So... perhaps ConVocation is a celebration of religious difference for difference's sake, because only that can stop the harm religion does to the world. I feel like I just acheived Satori.