A Filk About Zombies and Nanotech
Anders Sandberg made this raytraced image of Death cursing K. Eric Drexler for coming up with nanotechnology. It's based on this filk written by Eliezer Yudkowski titled, "Curse You Eric Drexler" or "It's Hard To Be A Zombie." I love it. In case the page ever disappears from the web, here is Eliezer's text:
This song is dedicated to the person with open sores, a cleaver sticking out, blood all over his shirt, and mold growing on him, who saw my "Singularity 2005" T-Shirt, and struck up a conversation at WindyCon XXV.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
No-one screams in horror when I stagger through a room.
They think I'm drunk or stupid, not an instrument of doom.
I drooled blood on one of them, and all he did was grin.
I tried to bite his head off, but my teeth would not sink in.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
My open sores have closed, and my gangrene's gone away.
My pasty skin has tanned, and I walk the light of day.
My bloodshot eyes are white again, my acne's cleared up too,
It's tough to be undead in these days of healing goo.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
They say you can't undo it, so be careful who you kill.
And ripping someone's heart out, sure seems to fit the bill.
So imagine my surprise when my victim greeted me.
Turns out he'd signed with Alcor back in nineteen eighty-three.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
(Additional verses welcome, but I reserve the right to edit or reject them on
grounds of rhythmic incompatibility with a tune only I know.)
This song is dedicated to the person with open sores, a cleaver sticking out, blood all over his shirt, and mold growing on him, who saw my "Singularity 2005" T-Shirt, and struck up a conversation at WindyCon XXV.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
No-one screams in horror when I stagger through a room.
They think I'm drunk or stupid, not an instrument of doom.
I drooled blood on one of them, and all he did was grin.
I tried to bite his head off, but my teeth would not sink in.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
My open sores have closed, and my gangrene's gone away.
My pasty skin has tanned, and I walk the light of day.
My bloodshot eyes are white again, my acne's cleared up too,
It's tough to be undead in these days of healing goo.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
They say you can't undo it, so be careful who you kill.
And ripping someone's heart out, sure seems to fit the bill.
So imagine my surprise when my victim greeted me.
Turns out he'd signed with Alcor back in nineteen eighty-three.
Chorus:
It's hard to be a zombie in the age of nanotech.
My arms have reattached themselves, my head's back on my neck.
So maybe I'll retire, and maybe I'll take five;
Curse you K. Eric Drexler, I might as well be alive.
(Additional verses welcome, but I reserve the right to edit or reject them on
grounds of rhythmic incompatibility with a tune only I know.)