My Chocolate Covered Raisins are a Bit Stale
The last two mornings I woke up, and found myself completely disoriented. I knew I wasn't at home... but yet I was. I thought I was back in Colby, you see, and was totally baffled at the realization what I was in some poorly decorated apartment bedroom, in some weird and overly excited city. Oh yeah, and all my stuff was there. I guess this must be what home is now...
So tonight, I REALLY came home, to mama and papa's house. Home is where the Heart Is.
When I lieved here, I found myself wishing for the better life that Halifax offered. I wanted the excitement, the location, the socializing... everything looked better. Now that I'm there, I realize I miss some of the things from here terribly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was a bad choice, just that I miss things. I miss being able to get in the car. Not because I don't like the bus, but just because the car is soothing to me. There's nothing better in the world than just strapping in, and heading out on the road, with no particular place to go. Hit the gas, watch that needle shoot for the red bars, and feel like you own the world. I miss that.
I miss AM radio. Whenever I'd get home at the end of the night, in the car, I'd always flip over to AM radio in the driveway, and spin through the dial for a while. You can pick up some of the most interesting stuff from the USA at night.
I miss my evening walk. I loved going out around 10:30 and just having a peaceful half hour to unwind, get my thoughts out, pray, relax, and be happy. I can't do this in Halifax, because I don't feel safe walking alone in Halifax that late, and besides, you can't find any peace in a big city. There's far too much going on for you to really be left with your thoughts.
I hate the fact that I feel like I have no time, too. Somehow maintaining a life without your parents takes a lot more time, and I'm missing exercise, DDR, TV, radio, and all my hobbies. Where does the time go? I can't figure it out, but it seems to be long gone...
I missed my friends, too. I missed the old friday night routine of bowling, or pool, and then pizza jo, and even though tonight didn't go like that, it was similar enough to make me miss it. As much as I found the appeal of movies, bars, bands, and a million other things about downtown irresistable, I now realize how much I missed the "same old, same old". I think I need to get out here and do this more often. It's been six weeks, and that was a lot too long. Still, it can't be quite the same, because I don't live here anymore, don't have free car access, and all that. But, I can work to recreate it.
Most of all I don't like the fact that it's awkward to be here. I was talking to my sister about all this tonight, and she asked me why I don't just come here and stay for a week. My best answer was that when you don't have your school stuff, you don't have your toys or your clothes, you can't access your computer files, you can't really settle because your entire life worth of "stuff" is in an apartment across the water, you just can't really be settled here anymore. I can visit here, but I can't really stay for more than a day or two, becaues the things I need are over there.
Nonetheless, I'm staying tonight, and I think instead of going home tomorrow, I might stop over and pick up some school work, but ultimately come back here and stay tomorow night, too. It would be nice to relax, and since I don't have Monday classes, it's a good opportunity to just take it easy, and go for that very same walk I've been wanting.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. It's clearer to me now, more than even, all that I have to be thankful for.
So tonight, I REALLY came home, to mama and papa's house. Home is where the Heart Is.
When I lieved here, I found myself wishing for the better life that Halifax offered. I wanted the excitement, the location, the socializing... everything looked better. Now that I'm there, I realize I miss some of the things from here terribly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was a bad choice, just that I miss things. I miss being able to get in the car. Not because I don't like the bus, but just because the car is soothing to me. There's nothing better in the world than just strapping in, and heading out on the road, with no particular place to go. Hit the gas, watch that needle shoot for the red bars, and feel like you own the world. I miss that.
I miss AM radio. Whenever I'd get home at the end of the night, in the car, I'd always flip over to AM radio in the driveway, and spin through the dial for a while. You can pick up some of the most interesting stuff from the USA at night.
I miss my evening walk. I loved going out around 10:30 and just having a peaceful half hour to unwind, get my thoughts out, pray, relax, and be happy. I can't do this in Halifax, because I don't feel safe walking alone in Halifax that late, and besides, you can't find any peace in a big city. There's far too much going on for you to really be left with your thoughts.
I hate the fact that I feel like I have no time, too. Somehow maintaining a life without your parents takes a lot more time, and I'm missing exercise, DDR, TV, radio, and all my hobbies. Where does the time go? I can't figure it out, but it seems to be long gone...
I missed my friends, too. I missed the old friday night routine of bowling, or pool, and then pizza jo, and even though tonight didn't go like that, it was similar enough to make me miss it. As much as I found the appeal of movies, bars, bands, and a million other things about downtown irresistable, I now realize how much I missed the "same old, same old". I think I need to get out here and do this more often. It's been six weeks, and that was a lot too long. Still, it can't be quite the same, because I don't live here anymore, don't have free car access, and all that. But, I can work to recreate it.
Most of all I don't like the fact that it's awkward to be here. I was talking to my sister about all this tonight, and she asked me why I don't just come here and stay for a week. My best answer was that when you don't have your school stuff, you don't have your toys or your clothes, you can't access your computer files, you can't really settle because your entire life worth of "stuff" is in an apartment across the water, you just can't really be settled here anymore. I can visit here, but I can't really stay for more than a day or two, becaues the things I need are over there.
Nonetheless, I'm staying tonight, and I think instead of going home tomorrow, I might stop over and pick up some school work, but ultimately come back here and stay tomorow night, too. It would be nice to relax, and since I don't have Monday classes, it's a good opportunity to just take it easy, and go for that very same walk I've been wanting.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. It's clearer to me now, more than even, all that I have to be thankful for.