Because I've sometimes something interesting to say.
I'm just posting a text I hastily wrote about a conversation I had with a friend [and some life rambling]. You don't have to comment, and actually it's pretty poor .__. Haha, I'll probably delete it in a few days, being a crazy type A.
I just had a convo with my school friend. I say school friend, because we aren't the type of friends that would hang out together and have fun chatting. We get along well while laughing and being crazy, inside of school, talking about things that don't really matter. In addition, she's not in the K-Pop fandom, and I've the feeling she looks down on me about this sometimes. Well.
Today, we were in maths classes, when she took the sheet I was writing on. She asked who was the guy I wrote the name. She more or less knows about my biases, but it isn't as if it were something she'd remember after school. So, I said the guy was a singer and a guitarist, and she was like:
":[ he's not your boyfriend?"
"Of course not he's not my boyfriend +__+"
"Why do you write his name, then?"
"Because I like him."
And started a really strange conversation.
She could not understand why I was writing the name of someone I don't know personally. I tried to tell her that perhaps I don't know him like I'd know a real close friend, but I still know a few things about him that makes me like him. "But how can you like someone famous? I mean, it's not really him, not his real face, they fake everything :|" She even said it was unhealthy. She can't write the name of people she don't know, because for her, writing has a strong meaning of reality. She wondered why I was writing their name. "I would understand if you wrote the name of the band because you like their music, but their own name! It's too real, you don't know him, you can't do that."
I don't really know how to make you understand her thoughts..
I think people can fake, or actually fake. But not everyone. And there's a few thing you can get to know about someone, without even talking to that person. The body has a language, a body can't lie, or at least it's kinda difficult. You can know someone, even just a little. And that's how I got to know the ~famous~ people I love now. By the way they talk, the way they move and what they actually say, of course. I'm not like "i know evrything bout dem!!11!", because I don't, though, I still think I've come to learn some facts about their personality. I don't see why I couldn't write their name. The fandom.. has some properties that can really make you feel good, without having to give something from yourself [usually you give a piece of your heart you can never have back, but well XD].
I told her these people had the qualities what I've somewhat been looking for in someone. I really look up to my main biases, I think of Zhou Mi [I won't tell a lot about it now, but he's a real inspiration, and I'd like to be as good as he's one day c:]. I love them for their personality, for what they are and represent. It's a one way love, but you share it with your friends that also love that person. Perhaps you can't love him, he can't love you, like she said he doesn't even know about you, but you aren't really alone. You have this true faith inside of you, and you can talk about it with the people you love. It's... I don't really know :| I'd like to draw it to explain it better, haha.
Assume the person you love is above you, like it's someone famous.You're underneath, and you have the people like you, your friends, all around you. In a ~normal case~ you draw an arrow toward that person, and an arrow from that person toward you. Here, it's like the arrow toward that person was also hitting the people around you [if they love that person, of course]. And your return arrow comes from these people. And not from the famous person.
It's not a one way love. Because of these people you like, you meet awesome people, people who think like you but also can disagree with you and make yourself better. It's not unhealthy. There's love. You learn about life, about being someone open-minded. Even though you can't have love from that person, you know how to give love to people who deserve it, and enjoy love. On your path, you have that love which will forever last in your heart, and give you strength and joy when you need to, and the ~real~ love. The love you experience from life.
Both loves are worthy. Both loves are worthy to be known.
I can understand her point of view, I really can, but I can't understand why she can't understand me.
Love is love. And love is never a bad thing.
Can you?
[That is kinda confused, English not being my mother tongue, I'm not sure I said what I actually wanted to say :| Hope you will understand and not get me wrong ;A;]
I'm really lazy about keeping up with your entries guys :| I'm so sorry, but school is eating a major part of my time now... So I won't be mad if you don't comment this entry, hahahaha. I'll just say a few things about it. I'm in a ES section [if that makes any sense for you.. it's just like an economic section]. There are two classes, and fortunately I'm in the class with 25 students, and not in the one with 39 [@__@]. My schedule is terrible, but most of my teachers seem to be good, so well! They can't stop talking about exams, and it sounds even scarier than before. I will really have a lot of work, even more than I thought.. I can see a lot of stress coming up, not good for the anxious person I am ;A;
Last year I used to work like... only 30 minutes, whereas we were supposed to work about 1hour and half. I didn't work more because I had good grades, haha. I was like.. The 2nd person in my class. Though, now, because of those exams [ajhfkghkfg], I have to get used to work, and it's really difficult.. I should work 2 hours per day, and I'm still very far away from that.. I've the feeling I'll drown very quickly, ha ha ha..
I also decided to be a good student. Understand by that I'm going to follow the lessons, and not scrawl some ugly drawings, thinking of Qmi. /distracted mind. Especially in Italian classes. I used to be very.. badly-behaved in Italian classes [I'm not annoying everyone, just having fun with my friends, laughing, drawing and stuff], because I'm like the best one [if we forget that Italian guy. But I'm not Italian, don't work, and still is the 2nd, so well v__v], still have good grades, and the teacher doesn't say anything. >:[ ... SO, now, I can hardly speak Italian, and need to fix that quickly! \o/ Sames goes for English /lazy ass. And about Japanese.. I've always worked very hard for Japanese classes, so I think I don't need to change anything, about perhaps learning more vocabulary. I don't really care about the other subjects.. I'll work, though.
Let's hope my laziness won't kill me. Or rather the stress that I'll get because of my laziness.
THAT SJ-M ALBUM BETTER QUICK SOON ;__; I want to buy it as soon as it's out, but I'm sure SM will release a B version or something, and I'll want to buy this version as well.. I don't really know what to do.. I don't want to spend too much money ;-; A now + B later, or wait and choose the best one [whereas I want both]? /sobs MiMi should stop teasing us with his Sina entries ;__; Like.. this rumor I heard on Sina, saying they're filming a promo teaser or something.
Ooh, did I say my bff and I wrote a letter for Eli? :'D It's so cute, you should see it. If you want I can scan it [now I have a scanner haha]. I hope U-Kiss will make a comeback pretty soon ;-;
I don't what else to say.. I miss you all guys, I wish I could be more often on LJ.
How are you? Did you all start school/college?
So.. bye bye ♥
ps: too lazy to check my grammar, as usual. I'm sorry ;-;
Tumblr is my new playground 8D
I just had a convo with my school friend. I say school friend, because we aren't the type of friends that would hang out together and have fun chatting. We get along well while laughing and being crazy, inside of school, talking about things that don't really matter. In addition, she's not in the K-Pop fandom, and I've the feeling she looks down on me about this sometimes. Well.
Today, we were in maths classes, when she took the sheet I was writing on. She asked who was the guy I wrote the name. She more or less knows about my biases, but it isn't as if it were something she'd remember after school. So, I said the guy was a singer and a guitarist, and she was like:
":[ he's not your boyfriend?"
"Of course not he's not my boyfriend +__+"
"Why do you write his name, then?"
"Because I like him."
And started a really strange conversation.
She could not understand why I was writing the name of someone I don't know personally. I tried to tell her that perhaps I don't know him like I'd know a real close friend, but I still know a few things about him that makes me like him. "But how can you like someone famous? I mean, it's not really him, not his real face, they fake everything :|" She even said it was unhealthy. She can't write the name of people she don't know, because for her, writing has a strong meaning of reality. She wondered why I was writing their name. "I would understand if you wrote the name of the band because you like their music, but their own name! It's too real, you don't know him, you can't do that."
I don't really know how to make you understand her thoughts..
I think people can fake, or actually fake. But not everyone. And there's a few thing you can get to know about someone, without even talking to that person. The body has a language, a body can't lie, or at least it's kinda difficult. You can know someone, even just a little. And that's how I got to know the ~famous~ people I love now. By the way they talk, the way they move and what they actually say, of course. I'm not like "i know evrything bout dem!!11!", because I don't, though, I still think I've come to learn some facts about their personality. I don't see why I couldn't write their name. The fandom.. has some properties that can really make you feel good, without having to give something from yourself [usually you give a piece of your heart you can never have back, but well XD].
I told her these people had the qualities what I've somewhat been looking for in someone. I really look up to my main biases, I think of Zhou Mi [I won't tell a lot about it now, but he's a real inspiration, and I'd like to be as good as he's one day c:]. I love them for their personality, for what they are and represent. It's a one way love, but you share it with your friends that also love that person. Perhaps you can't love him, he can't love you, like she said he doesn't even know about you, but you aren't really alone. You have this true faith inside of you, and you can talk about it with the people you love. It's... I don't really know :| I'd like to draw it to explain it better, haha.
Assume the person you love is above you, like it's someone famous.You're underneath, and you have the people like you, your friends, all around you. In a ~normal case~ you draw an arrow toward that person, and an arrow from that person toward you. Here, it's like the arrow toward that person was also hitting the people around you [if they love that person, of course]. And your return arrow comes from these people. And not from the famous person.
It's not a one way love. Because of these people you like, you meet awesome people, people who think like you but also can disagree with you and make yourself better. It's not unhealthy. There's love. You learn about life, about being someone open-minded. Even though you can't have love from that person, you know how to give love to people who deserve it, and enjoy love. On your path, you have that love which will forever last in your heart, and give you strength and joy when you need to, and the ~real~ love. The love you experience from life.
Both loves are worthy. Both loves are worthy to be known.
I can understand her point of view, I really can, but I can't understand why she can't understand me.
Love is love. And love is never a bad thing.
Can you?
[That is kinda confused, English not being my mother tongue, I'm not sure I said what I actually wanted to say :| Hope you will understand and not get me wrong ;A;]
I'm really lazy about keeping up with your entries guys :| I'm so sorry, but school is eating a major part of my time now... So I won't be mad if you don't comment this entry, hahahaha. I'll just say a few things about it. I'm in a ES section [if that makes any sense for you.. it's just like an economic section]. There are two classes, and fortunately I'm in the class with 25 students, and not in the one with 39 [@__@]. My schedule is terrible, but most of my teachers seem to be good, so well! They can't stop talking about exams, and it sounds even scarier than before. I will really have a lot of work, even more than I thought.. I can see a lot of stress coming up, not good for the anxious person I am ;A;
Last year I used to work like... only 30 minutes, whereas we were supposed to work about 1hour and half. I didn't work more because I had good grades, haha. I was like.. The 2nd person in my class. Though, now, because of those exams [ajhfkghkfg], I have to get used to work, and it's really difficult.. I should work 2 hours per day, and I'm still very far away from that.. I've the feeling I'll drown very quickly, ha ha ha..
I also decided to be a good student. Understand by that I'm going to follow the lessons, and not scrawl some ugly drawings, thinking of Qmi. /distracted mind. Especially in Italian classes. I used to be very.. badly-behaved in Italian classes [I'm not annoying everyone, just having fun with my friends, laughing, drawing and stuff], because I'm like the best one [if we forget that Italian guy. But I'm not Italian, don't work, and still is the 2nd, so well v__v], still have good grades, and the teacher doesn't say anything. >:[ ... SO, now, I can hardly speak Italian, and need to fix that quickly! \o/ Sames goes for English /lazy ass. And about Japanese.. I've always worked very hard for Japanese classes, so I think I don't need to change anything, about perhaps learning more vocabulary. I don't really care about the other subjects.. I'll work, though.
Let's hope my laziness won't kill me. Or rather the stress that I'll get because of my laziness.
THAT SJ-M ALBUM BETTER QUICK SOON ;__; I want to buy it as soon as it's out, but I'm sure SM will release a B version or something, and I'll want to buy this version as well.. I don't really know what to do.. I don't want to spend too much money ;-; A now + B later, or wait and choose the best one [whereas I want both]? /sobs MiMi should stop teasing us with his Sina entries ;__; Like.. this rumor I heard on Sina, saying they're filming a promo teaser or something.
Ooh, did I say my bff and I wrote a letter for Eli? :'D It's so cute, you should see it. If you want I can scan it [now I have a scanner haha]. I hope U-Kiss will make a comeback pretty soon ;-;
I don't what else to say.. I miss you all guys, I wish I could be more often on LJ.
How are you? Did you all start school/college?
So.. bye bye ♥
ps: too lazy to check my grammar, as usual. I'm sorry ;-;
Tumblr is my new playground 8D