Chandelier (chapter 6)
Title: Chandelier
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: My lovely Antimiya88 <3
Pairing: Ohmiya, Junba, Sakumiya
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama, violence
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Disclaimer: Only own the plot though, I wish I could own them xD
Summary: Nino is a young man who is physically abused by his boyfriend for years but seems determined to cope with this horrible life until he meets Ohno, a weird man who will show him how wonderful life can be.
Chapter 6:
Nino's pov:
Sleeping with rich men was something Nino thought easy because of what he was living at home with his boyfriend. But the reality was far from what you experiment when you have to be fucked by an old rich pervert. Despite the rape of his lover's friend, Nino had never felt as dirty as now.
A client had booked him for the night, bringing him to a love hotel where the old man had fucked him twice before falling asleep, snoring like a pig. A quick bad fuck. No wonder why this man's wife refused to be touched by this useless penis of him. Nino had simulated a lot, pretending to discover a pleasure he had never felt before when all he had in mind while being taken, were his moments with Ohno.
After the bad fuck, the host had taken a long shower to clean his dirty body, stroking his skin until it became red.
When morning came, the man took the money in his wallet and threw it on the bed as if Nino was some kind of animal.
"Here your money."
500 000 yens weren't much when you were treated like an object.
"Thank you sir..."
"I'll pay you more next time if you agree for an extra. Thank you, it was great." The man left quickly, leaving Nino staring at the bills in his hands, a tear rolling down his cheek. He felt dirtier than when his lover's friend raped him.
Because here, he had been paid.
Like a whore.
And this feeling was unbearable. What had he done in his life to deserve that? To deserve to be treated like an object, to be used as if he was nothing more than a piece of shit.
Nino's mind was slowly breaking as days passed. He didn't even dare to meet Ohno, too ashamed to be seen like that. He had lost weight and was sure his friend would be disgusted if he discovered what he did to win his life. Ohno was calling him everyday, asking to spend some time together but the younger always found an excuse to refuse. His life was the club, the clients and his lover who had calm down a bit since Nino was bringing him lots of money.
****
"And this bastard waited for him after his shift! Nino? Nino?"
Nino blinked and looked at Aiba. His friend had asked him to go in a bar before starting work and was complaining about Jun's new lover for 30 minutes now.
"Sorry, I was elsewhere." Nino smiled.
"You are weird since some weeks. Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"You know you can tell me everything..."
"It's just... I can't get used to be fucked by the clients..."
"Oh... I see... I was the same when I started... But you get used after some months. See that like a normal work..."
"You aren't fucked with a normal work."
"And then? Don't be ashamed. We all have our own reasons for being here and if we had the choice, we wouldn't sell our bodies."
"Why are you here?"
"I owe lots of money. And this work pays enough to bring me what I need."
"You owe money to a yakuza??"
"No, baka." Aiba laughed. "It's complicated but don't worry, it's not that bad..."
"And Jun? He isn't a host but why does he work in the club and why is he so close to Nagase?"
"I don't know. Their relationship is a pure mystery for everybody..." Aiba lied.
"Aren't you jealous?"
"Eh?"
"No need to lie. You are head over heels in love with Jun, it's so obvious that even a blind man would see it."
"I love him. Deeply. To the point of going crazy."
"To the point of breaking up with him?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I don't deserve him."
"He accepts your work."
"If it was because of my work, I would still be with him. I'm not the man he thinks I am. I'm not good enough for him."
"Because you think so."
"No. Because I have done things that would get him to hate me if he knew."
"You don't trust his love for you a lot..."
"I do. But sometimes, even a deep love is not enough to make you forget the bad things. Anyway, this Sakurai has to calm down or I'll rip his balls!"
"They are together?"
"I don't know. He comes here every night and spends lots of time at the bar. Jun refuses to talk to me anymore. It hurts."
"Do you want I ask him? We are friends and maybe he would tell me what's going on. And I can try to occupy Sakurai."
"I don't think it will work... It will be my fault if he falls in his arms. I have hurt him and I have abandoned him..." Aiba sighed, drinking his glass of beer. "And you, when will you leave this bastard?"
"He isn't."
"Nino... He abuses you, leave him or I'll go to the police."
"No!!! Please, no!!!" Nino screamed, making his friend jump.
"But Nino... You're my friend, I can't accept that and Jun too."
"You know nothing... And I love him. I'm very happy with him..."
"Nobody deserves to be treated like that. You are brainwashed! You can’t even accept the fact this situation is totally wrong. You don’t love him, Nino, you’re just his slave!"
"He has stopped to hit me. Please... I need him..."
"Why???"
"He was here when I had nobody. He saved me. Without him I would have died a long time ago."
"That doesn't mean he can hit you."
"Please, Masaki, don't do that if you really love me like a friend."
"Fine. But if he hits you again, I'll go to the police."
"Okay..."
"And your family doesn't care?"
"I have nobody." Nino smiled sadly. "I was abandoned when I was young. Ichirou is the only one who accepted me and took care of me... I don't even remember the face of my parents. I was only 15 when they left the house without me."
"Eh? They left you in your house?"
"Hum. They said they were going to see some friends and never came back. One week later, the house was sold and I ended in the street. Ichirou found me one month later as yankees were beating me and took care of me. He is the only one I have... Without him, I'm nothing."
"No..."
"I am. And I love him. He loves me too. He just has a weird personality..."
“And you never tried to find your parents? Why? Maybe they abandoned you for a good reason…”
“Good parents would never abandon their child, whatever the reason is, they were just two bastards. I’m glad I can’t remember their faces.”
“And don’t you want to know why?”
“Why would I want to know? It would only bring me pain.”
“Believe me, we always need answers. Even if the truth hurts, our mind and our heart need to put a word on all our questions. To move forward, we have to mourn over our trauma and you haven’t.”
“How can you know?” Nino frowned, not happy to where this conversation was leading.
“Because it’s so obvious when I look at you. Well, it’s Jun’s idea but he is great to read people, so, I trust his judgment.”
“This baka always puts his noes where he shouldn’t.” Nino sighed. “I’m fine and I don’t want to confront my demons. I’m happy.”
“Sure you are. Loving a man who abuses you.” Aiba muttered.
“Listen, if you can’t accept me like I am, we don’t have to be friends.” Nino stood up and threw some money on the table before leaving the bar without waiting for Aiba’s answer. Deep inside, Nino knew the older was right. Confronting his demons and mostly, his parents was necessary to move forward but his heart was too weak to bear a painful truth that, he knew, was waiting for him. His parents shouldn’t have abandoned him. Whatever their reasons were. They should have treasured him like any loving parents would.
But how could he wish to hear their reasons? We didn’t love you, you were a bad son, so, we left. You were a loser, we couldn’t be proud of a piece of shit like you and the easiest way was to abandon you. Don’t come back in our lives, we are perfectly fine without you, we even made another child to replace the prick you were.
That was it. Nino was scared to hear this painful reality. To understand his lover was right and he was just good to be fucked in exchange of money. Why would they have abandoned him if not?
Tears were rolling down his cheeks as all these thoughts were invading his mind, remembering how rotten his life was. Sometimes, dying would maybe be better. Nobody would miss him. Even less his parents.
“Kazu!!! No!!!” Nino moaned, grabbing his head painfully. Not again. Not now. Why did he have to handle these flashes??? They had stopped years ago but because of Aiba, it seemed they were coming back. “Mama!!! Papa!!!” Nino’s view blurred, confused pictures invading his mind, his head almost exploding in pain.
“Nino?”
Nino froze, the pictures vanishing. Not this voice. Why did he have to meet him now and when he was in a such pitiful state?
“Hi, Ohchan…”
The older’s face was half hidden by a mask and a cap but Nino would have recognized these eyes even under sun glasses.
“You didn’t reply to my messages.”
“Sorry, I was busy.”
“Why are you crying?”
“It’s nothing, just a bad day.” Nino managed to force a smile.
“Still so bad to lie.” Ohno shook his head and approached him to stroke his cheek. “Come on, you need to forget.” Without waiting for Nino’s answer, the older grabbed his hand and made him climb in a taxi.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“But I work tonight…”
“Forget your work, we have better to do.”
Nino was about to refuse when Ohno looked at him intensively, making him shiver. A little voice in his head told him to obey and nodding, the host sent a message to Jun.
From: Jun
Don’t worry, I’ll cover you, have a great night, get laid and come back to us with a big smile ;D
“This baka.” Nino blushed and chuckled before the taxi stopped. Ohno left it without a word and opened his friend’s door with a smile.
“Let’s go.” Ohno took his hand and led him toward a street full of lights and people.
“A matsuri?”
“You don’t like?”
“I have never been to a matsuri…”
Ohno’s eyes darkened, as if Nino’s sentence was hurting him before the older smiled.
“Let’s discover that together!”
Nino blushed when his friend linked their fingers and walked through the alley, asking where they should go first. They stopped to buy some takoyaki before looking at the stands to play.
It was the first time Nino was laughing and smiling truly, his cheeks aching so much when Ohno tried to catch a fish and almost fell in the little basin.
“I wanted to catch you a fish!” Ohno pouted cutely.
“It’s okay, you tried and I wouldn’t be able to take care of an animal. But thank you for trying!”
“I’ll win you something else!” Ohno said with determined eyes, stopping at another stand.
“Hello, young men, do you want to try? You just have to shoot these balloons and you will win a price!” A woman grinned.
“I want to try!” Ohno paid and took the big rifle.
“Ohchan, don’t spend your money for me…” Nino protested.
“I want to!” The older replied and pulled on the trigger, one balloon exploding.
“Great, four more balloons!” The woman exclaimed.
Nino’s heart fluttered at how determinate Ohno was. Doing all that just to offer him a price. It was as if they were a normal couple enjoying a matsuri like every person in love would do. Nino shook his head, trying to chase this thought. He couldn’t. First, because he had Ichirou. And then, because he didn’t deserve someone like Ohno. The older was too perfect for him, the whore who was fucked by strangers every night.
“Perfect!!!” The woman made Nino jump. “You have won one of our toys. You can choose!”
Ohno stared at the stand. “Mmmm, this one!”
“Good choice!” The woman took the soft black kitten and Ohno held it out to Nino.
“For you.” Ohno mumbled, blushing.
“T-hank you.” Nino hugged the soft toy, his heart beating furiously like a teenager.
“And as it’s not everyday I have Ohno Satoshi at my stand, I also offer you that.” The woman put a box in Ohno’s hands, the latter gasping. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody.” The woman winked.
“Thank you so much!” Ohno bowed with a smile, replace his mask and cap and took Nino’s hand to leave.
“What did she mean?”
“Ano… She probably remembered me. I was a bit known when I was younger. I used to compose and sing.”
“Ehhhh???? And you never told me! Why did you stop?”
“I just wanted to change. Oh, let’s by some crepes!” Ohno exclaimed, walking toward a new stand. Nino stared at his back with a strange feeling. What was that? Why Ohno was always so mysterious when it came to talk about himself? Nino trusted him with his life but as he cared for the older, he also wanted to know him. To be closed to him. Nino wanted to share everything with his new friend who managed to make him smile in every situation.
“Here.” Nino blinked, taking the crepe Ohno was holding him out.
“Thank you.”
“Let’s sit to look at the fireworks.” Ohno linked their fingers and led them toward the small hill where they sat, eating in silence.
“Thank you for today.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Will you sing me something one day?”
“I… I don’t sing anymore…” Ohno’s jaw clenched.
“Why? You always make me talk about myself but you never talk about you; I want to know everything about you. I want to know the real Satoshi…”
“I lost the reason why I was singing, that’s all.”
“I see…” Nino lowered his head. The host thought their relationship would be enough to give Ohno the will to sing again but it seemed he wasn’t good enough to bring back this desire to Satoshi. Why does this thought hurt him? They were only friends, so, it wasn’t bad if the older refused to open to him and show him his scars. So, why does his heart was tightening painfully?
“I’m sorry… Music reminds me painful memories…”
“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have insisted, it was a bad idea to come here after all, I don’t know what I was expecting.” Nino stood up and bowed. “Thank you for tonight.” The host ran away under Ohno’s calls, tears rolling down his cheeks. Why anytime happiness was reaching his heart, something spoiled it? Why couldn’t he keep this happiness for more than several hours? It was always the same. Good things happened and disappeared in the blink of an eye right after, leaving only bitterness and pain in his heart.
“Nino!”
“Let me go!!!” Nino yelled when Ohno grabbed his hand.
“Please, don’t leave, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be, we are nothing to each other.” Nino cried.
“Still so stubborn! Why can’t you listen to me when I want to explain?!”
“There is nothing to explain, I…” Nino’s voice faded when a pair of lips met his.
“You never listen to me until the end, brat.” Ohno sighed some seconds later after pulling away.
“I…”
“Music brings painful memories but since we met, I have started to sing again. A little bit. I have started to compose again. But I’m scared to sing in front of you.”
“Why?”
“Because I fear your judgment. Because I care for you more than you can imagine. Because I love you.”
“You…” Nino’s eyes widened. “You don’t know me.”
“I know you, Nino. More than you think. You are a little diamond for me. You are so adorable, I love the way you try to look strong when you are just like a fragile scared kitten inside. I love your sharp tongue, the way you try to have the last word anytime we ‘argue’. You care for me, wanting to appease the pains in my heart, refusing to be helped in return. You are brilliant, handsome and so kind. I don’t want to be your friend, Nino, because I want to have you for myself. To have you in my arms when I wake up, to kiss you goodbye before going to work. To cherish you and make you happy.”
“But…”
Ohno smiled and opened the box the woman had given him. It contained two silver necklace and Ohno took the chain with the padlock to tie it around Nino’s neck before tying the chain with the key around his own neck.
“The key of your heart. Isn’t it fate?” Ohno blushed, looking at him with loving eyes.
Nino’s heart was beating furiously, not realizing what was happening right now. Ohno had confessed and it made him incredibly happy but at the same time, it scared him. Because there was Ichirou and he loved his boyfriend. And the host refused to destroy Ohno’s heart because of his rotten life.
“I… I…” Tears started to roll down his cheeks.
“I love you since I ran after you because you had stolen my piece of salmon. I love everything about you, Kazunari.” Ohno stroked his wet cheek before pulling their lips in a kiss at the same time the fireworks were starting. The older’s second hand wrapped his friend’s waist to stick him against his own body, his tongue invading Nino’s mouth and making him moan.
Nino’s brain wasn’t working anymore, his body enjoying this amazing deep kiss that Ohno was giving him with all his heart. His arms found their way around Satoshi’s neck, pulling him closer as the kiss was getting deeper. The host’s body was shivering in pleasure, his heart beating so fast that you would think it had stopped, moans leaving his throat as Ohno’s mouth was drawing a path to his neck, sucking his skin and kissing it right after. Nino’s body was on fire and it took him all his will to push his friend away.
“We can’t.” Nino panted.
“Why? And don’t say it’s because you don’t feel anything for me!”
“I… I have a boyfriend, you know it since the beginning.”
“Leave him, then.”
“I love him!”
Sadness shone in Ohno’s eyes but the gamer shook his head. “I can’t, Satoshi… He is everything I have. Without him, I’m nothing.”
“Don’t say that! You don’t need anyone to be someone! You are an amazing person and you don’t need him to exist!”
“I do… Satoshi… I’m not a good man… I have a past, I have done things I’m not proud of and the last thing I want is to have you looking at me with disgust.”
“You’ll never disgust me!!!”
“You would if you knew me. And it would be normal. I also disgust myself. I’m sorry Satoshi, I don’t deserve you and you deserve a so much better man than me. Goodbye.” Nino kissed him a last time before running away, tears rolling down his cheeks. Despite his aching heart, the host didn’t regret anything. Because he had done all that for Ohno. Because he was probably scared to finally find happiness before spoiling everything and ending alone like when his parents abandoned him ten years ago.
Nino closed the door of his apartment and took his clothes off before going to bed quietly not to wake up Ichirou.
****
The next day, Nino kept ignoring Ohno’s calls and messages, avoiding his lover too, to be sure not to end with a new hit though, it had been two weeks since Ichirou’s last hit.
Jun had tried to comfort him but it was obvious nothing would make the gamer smile and it got worse when Nagase called him in his office.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Well, yes and no.” Nagase pushed his phone toward Nino who took it and looked at the video, his eyes widening in shock. “You never told me you dance so well!”
“How did you get that???” Nino gasped. It was video of him dancing with Aiba in a night club.
“I always keep an eye on my new employee to be sure they won’t bring shame on my club.”
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!!!”
“Oh yes, it will happen again!” Nagase exclaimed.
“Eh?”
“I want you to be a part of my club’s crew. Like you know, I always organize shows some days per month. I want you to create a choreography and to dance. It will bring me more clients and they will pay even more to have you!” Nagase grinned.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea, I have never…” Nino blinked as a strange feeling won his body. “I mean… Okay, but I’ll need a teacher…”
“Don’t worry, you will have everything you need and I have a perfect teacher for you! Come to this address tomorrow morning.” Nagase held him out a piece of paper happily and stood up, the sign the meeting was over.
Nino left the office with a sigh. Why did he agree?!! He had never danced before and even if he was good in night clubs, it didn’t mean he would be able to make a real show. If he failed, Nagase wouldn’t forgive him and he would become the shame of the club. Though, this new ‘promotion’ made him a bit happy. It meant releasing his stress, his pain, his feeling and spending less time with the clients and their annoying conversations. The young host just had to pray to not become famous because the customers were going to book him more to have sex.
The next day, Nino prepared himself carefully and took the bus to go to the address Nagase had given him. Checking his phone, the host smiled sadly, seeing Ohno had stopped to call him. He should have been happy but it only brought pain in his heart, realizing his only friend out of the club didn’t care anymore about him.
“I have to be strong and to forget him.” Nino whispered, stroking the padlock around his neck before shaking his head and entering the building where he found an open room.
“Hi!!!!” A familiar voice greeted him.
“Eh????” Nino gasped. “What are you doing here???”
“It’s obvious, I’m your teacher. Tomo asked me to take care of you.” Jun grinned. “He is right, you dance very well, you know how to move your hips.”
“Thank you. But you can teach dance?”
“Yup. It was one of my jobs some years ago.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Things aren’t always like we want them to be.” Jun sighed sadly. “Let’s start. We have lots of work because even if you know how to move, you have to get better with your technical.”
At the end of the training, four hours later, Nino was dead tired. Jun was a very good teacher but also a true sadist, never letting him take some rest, always asking for more. The younger was seeking for perfection, finding mistakes in even the smallest moves. But the young host had admit this training made him feel better. It allowed him get rid of his stress and his problems.
*****
Nino’s beginnings on the ‘stage’ of the club were hard. The first time, the young host almost forgot his choreography and fell on the stage, though, Nagase and Jun never yelled at him nor blamed him. The boss only asked them to work more on his stress and his confidence.
And some weeks later, Nino was finally ready to face the public. The training had been hard and painful but it had also allowed him to forget Ohno a bit and to release his sadness through the music.
Despite his beating heart, Nino walked on the stage and when the music started, gave all he had inside. Jun had agreed to let him participate at the creation of the choreography, approving the new emotions Nino was now able to transmit through his moves. In the end, this new job was a great thing, making him feel better. For the first time in his life, Nino finally thought that maybe he was good in other things than sex.
The young host bowed deeply when the men of the club clapped their hands, whistling and devouring his body only half covered by some clothes.
But the host’s heart almost stopped when his eyes fell on a familiar figure next to the stage.
Ohno was there, staring at him with a look he wouldn’t be able to describe.
Shit. Nino thought, his smile vanishing.
To be continued…
A/N: Like I promised, I’m posting this one just before leaving for the airport J Things are starting to move as Ohmiya got very closer and Nino’s past is starting to come back J And finally, Ohno has found out Nino’s work, will he accept it or will he reject it? Or will he do something to stop that? Things are going to turn very complicated but soon, you’ll understand everything J In the next chapter…. Well, I don’t even remember what I wrote in the next chapter except that you’ll know more about Sho’s mysterious character xD I’ll have a laptop in Thailand but I don’t know if I’ll have internet, I hope so ><
See you next week (I hope) and comments, even short ones, are deeply <3
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: My lovely Antimiya88 <3
Pairing: Ohmiya, Junba, Sakumiya
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama, violence
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Disclaimer: Only own the plot though, I wish I could own them xD
Summary: Nino is a young man who is physically abused by his boyfriend for years but seems determined to cope with this horrible life until he meets Ohno, a weird man who will show him how wonderful life can be.
Chapter 6:
Nino's pov:
Sleeping with rich men was something Nino thought easy because of what he was living at home with his boyfriend. But the reality was far from what you experiment when you have to be fucked by an old rich pervert. Despite the rape of his lover's friend, Nino had never felt as dirty as now.
A client had booked him for the night, bringing him to a love hotel where the old man had fucked him twice before falling asleep, snoring like a pig. A quick bad fuck. No wonder why this man's wife refused to be touched by this useless penis of him. Nino had simulated a lot, pretending to discover a pleasure he had never felt before when all he had in mind while being taken, were his moments with Ohno.
After the bad fuck, the host had taken a long shower to clean his dirty body, stroking his skin until it became red.
When morning came, the man took the money in his wallet and threw it on the bed as if Nino was some kind of animal.
"Here your money."
500 000 yens weren't much when you were treated like an object.
"Thank you sir..."
"I'll pay you more next time if you agree for an extra. Thank you, it was great." The man left quickly, leaving Nino staring at the bills in his hands, a tear rolling down his cheek. He felt dirtier than when his lover's friend raped him.
Because here, he had been paid.
Like a whore.
And this feeling was unbearable. What had he done in his life to deserve that? To deserve to be treated like an object, to be used as if he was nothing more than a piece of shit.
Nino's mind was slowly breaking as days passed. He didn't even dare to meet Ohno, too ashamed to be seen like that. He had lost weight and was sure his friend would be disgusted if he discovered what he did to win his life. Ohno was calling him everyday, asking to spend some time together but the younger always found an excuse to refuse. His life was the club, the clients and his lover who had calm down a bit since Nino was bringing him lots of money.
****
"And this bastard waited for him after his shift! Nino? Nino?"
Nino blinked and looked at Aiba. His friend had asked him to go in a bar before starting work and was complaining about Jun's new lover for 30 minutes now.
"Sorry, I was elsewhere." Nino smiled.
"You are weird since some weeks. Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"You know you can tell me everything..."
"It's just... I can't get used to be fucked by the clients..."
"Oh... I see... I was the same when I started... But you get used after some months. See that like a normal work..."
"You aren't fucked with a normal work."
"And then? Don't be ashamed. We all have our own reasons for being here and if we had the choice, we wouldn't sell our bodies."
"Why are you here?"
"I owe lots of money. And this work pays enough to bring me what I need."
"You owe money to a yakuza??"
"No, baka." Aiba laughed. "It's complicated but don't worry, it's not that bad..."
"And Jun? He isn't a host but why does he work in the club and why is he so close to Nagase?"
"I don't know. Their relationship is a pure mystery for everybody..." Aiba lied.
"Aren't you jealous?"
"Eh?"
"No need to lie. You are head over heels in love with Jun, it's so obvious that even a blind man would see it."
"I love him. Deeply. To the point of going crazy."
"To the point of breaking up with him?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I don't deserve him."
"He accepts your work."
"If it was because of my work, I would still be with him. I'm not the man he thinks I am. I'm not good enough for him."
"Because you think so."
"No. Because I have done things that would get him to hate me if he knew."
"You don't trust his love for you a lot..."
"I do. But sometimes, even a deep love is not enough to make you forget the bad things. Anyway, this Sakurai has to calm down or I'll rip his balls!"
"They are together?"
"I don't know. He comes here every night and spends lots of time at the bar. Jun refuses to talk to me anymore. It hurts."
"Do you want I ask him? We are friends and maybe he would tell me what's going on. And I can try to occupy Sakurai."
"I don't think it will work... It will be my fault if he falls in his arms. I have hurt him and I have abandoned him..." Aiba sighed, drinking his glass of beer. "And you, when will you leave this bastard?"
"He isn't."
"Nino... He abuses you, leave him or I'll go to the police."
"No!!! Please, no!!!" Nino screamed, making his friend jump.
"But Nino... You're my friend, I can't accept that and Jun too."
"You know nothing... And I love him. I'm very happy with him..."
"Nobody deserves to be treated like that. You are brainwashed! You can’t even accept the fact this situation is totally wrong. You don’t love him, Nino, you’re just his slave!"
"He has stopped to hit me. Please... I need him..."
"Why???"
"He was here when I had nobody. He saved me. Without him I would have died a long time ago."
"That doesn't mean he can hit you."
"Please, Masaki, don't do that if you really love me like a friend."
"Fine. But if he hits you again, I'll go to the police."
"Okay..."
"And your family doesn't care?"
"I have nobody." Nino smiled sadly. "I was abandoned when I was young. Ichirou is the only one who accepted me and took care of me... I don't even remember the face of my parents. I was only 15 when they left the house without me."
"Eh? They left you in your house?"
"Hum. They said they were going to see some friends and never came back. One week later, the house was sold and I ended in the street. Ichirou found me one month later as yankees were beating me and took care of me. He is the only one I have... Without him, I'm nothing."
"No..."
"I am. And I love him. He loves me too. He just has a weird personality..."
“And you never tried to find your parents? Why? Maybe they abandoned you for a good reason…”
“Good parents would never abandon their child, whatever the reason is, they were just two bastards. I’m glad I can’t remember their faces.”
“And don’t you want to know why?”
“Why would I want to know? It would only bring me pain.”
“Believe me, we always need answers. Even if the truth hurts, our mind and our heart need to put a word on all our questions. To move forward, we have to mourn over our trauma and you haven’t.”
“How can you know?” Nino frowned, not happy to where this conversation was leading.
“Because it’s so obvious when I look at you. Well, it’s Jun’s idea but he is great to read people, so, I trust his judgment.”
“This baka always puts his noes where he shouldn’t.” Nino sighed. “I’m fine and I don’t want to confront my demons. I’m happy.”
“Sure you are. Loving a man who abuses you.” Aiba muttered.
“Listen, if you can’t accept me like I am, we don’t have to be friends.” Nino stood up and threw some money on the table before leaving the bar without waiting for Aiba’s answer. Deep inside, Nino knew the older was right. Confronting his demons and mostly, his parents was necessary to move forward but his heart was too weak to bear a painful truth that, he knew, was waiting for him. His parents shouldn’t have abandoned him. Whatever their reasons were. They should have treasured him like any loving parents would.
But how could he wish to hear their reasons? We didn’t love you, you were a bad son, so, we left. You were a loser, we couldn’t be proud of a piece of shit like you and the easiest way was to abandon you. Don’t come back in our lives, we are perfectly fine without you, we even made another child to replace the prick you were.
That was it. Nino was scared to hear this painful reality. To understand his lover was right and he was just good to be fucked in exchange of money. Why would they have abandoned him if not?
Tears were rolling down his cheeks as all these thoughts were invading his mind, remembering how rotten his life was. Sometimes, dying would maybe be better. Nobody would miss him. Even less his parents.
“Kazu!!! No!!!” Nino moaned, grabbing his head painfully. Not again. Not now. Why did he have to handle these flashes??? They had stopped years ago but because of Aiba, it seemed they were coming back. “Mama!!! Papa!!!” Nino’s view blurred, confused pictures invading his mind, his head almost exploding in pain.
“Nino?”
Nino froze, the pictures vanishing. Not this voice. Why did he have to meet him now and when he was in a such pitiful state?
“Hi, Ohchan…”
The older’s face was half hidden by a mask and a cap but Nino would have recognized these eyes even under sun glasses.
“You didn’t reply to my messages.”
“Sorry, I was busy.”
“Why are you crying?”
“It’s nothing, just a bad day.” Nino managed to force a smile.
“Still so bad to lie.” Ohno shook his head and approached him to stroke his cheek. “Come on, you need to forget.” Without waiting for Nino’s answer, the older grabbed his hand and made him climb in a taxi.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“But I work tonight…”
“Forget your work, we have better to do.”
Nino was about to refuse when Ohno looked at him intensively, making him shiver. A little voice in his head told him to obey and nodding, the host sent a message to Jun.
From: Jun
Don’t worry, I’ll cover you, have a great night, get laid and come back to us with a big smile ;D
“This baka.” Nino blushed and chuckled before the taxi stopped. Ohno left it without a word and opened his friend’s door with a smile.
“Let’s go.” Ohno took his hand and led him toward a street full of lights and people.
“A matsuri?”
“You don’t like?”
“I have never been to a matsuri…”
Ohno’s eyes darkened, as if Nino’s sentence was hurting him before the older smiled.
“Let’s discover that together!”
Nino blushed when his friend linked their fingers and walked through the alley, asking where they should go first. They stopped to buy some takoyaki before looking at the stands to play.
It was the first time Nino was laughing and smiling truly, his cheeks aching so much when Ohno tried to catch a fish and almost fell in the little basin.
“I wanted to catch you a fish!” Ohno pouted cutely.
“It’s okay, you tried and I wouldn’t be able to take care of an animal. But thank you for trying!”
“I’ll win you something else!” Ohno said with determined eyes, stopping at another stand.
“Hello, young men, do you want to try? You just have to shoot these balloons and you will win a price!” A woman grinned.
“I want to try!” Ohno paid and took the big rifle.
“Ohchan, don’t spend your money for me…” Nino protested.
“I want to!” The older replied and pulled on the trigger, one balloon exploding.
“Great, four more balloons!” The woman exclaimed.
Nino’s heart fluttered at how determinate Ohno was. Doing all that just to offer him a price. It was as if they were a normal couple enjoying a matsuri like every person in love would do. Nino shook his head, trying to chase this thought. He couldn’t. First, because he had Ichirou. And then, because he didn’t deserve someone like Ohno. The older was too perfect for him, the whore who was fucked by strangers every night.
“Perfect!!!” The woman made Nino jump. “You have won one of our toys. You can choose!”
Ohno stared at the stand. “Mmmm, this one!”
“Good choice!” The woman took the soft black kitten and Ohno held it out to Nino.
“For you.” Ohno mumbled, blushing.
“T-hank you.” Nino hugged the soft toy, his heart beating furiously like a teenager.
“And as it’s not everyday I have Ohno Satoshi at my stand, I also offer you that.” The woman put a box in Ohno’s hands, the latter gasping. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody.” The woman winked.
“Thank you so much!” Ohno bowed with a smile, replace his mask and cap and took Nino’s hand to leave.
“What did she mean?”
“Ano… She probably remembered me. I was a bit known when I was younger. I used to compose and sing.”
“Ehhhh???? And you never told me! Why did you stop?”
“I just wanted to change. Oh, let’s by some crepes!” Ohno exclaimed, walking toward a new stand. Nino stared at his back with a strange feeling. What was that? Why Ohno was always so mysterious when it came to talk about himself? Nino trusted him with his life but as he cared for the older, he also wanted to know him. To be closed to him. Nino wanted to share everything with his new friend who managed to make him smile in every situation.
“Here.” Nino blinked, taking the crepe Ohno was holding him out.
“Thank you.”
“Let’s sit to look at the fireworks.” Ohno linked their fingers and led them toward the small hill where they sat, eating in silence.
“Thank you for today.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Will you sing me something one day?”
“I… I don’t sing anymore…” Ohno’s jaw clenched.
“Why? You always make me talk about myself but you never talk about you; I want to know everything about you. I want to know the real Satoshi…”
“I lost the reason why I was singing, that’s all.”
“I see…” Nino lowered his head. The host thought their relationship would be enough to give Ohno the will to sing again but it seemed he wasn’t good enough to bring back this desire to Satoshi. Why does this thought hurt him? They were only friends, so, it wasn’t bad if the older refused to open to him and show him his scars. So, why does his heart was tightening painfully?
“I’m sorry… Music reminds me painful memories…”
“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have insisted, it was a bad idea to come here after all, I don’t know what I was expecting.” Nino stood up and bowed. “Thank you for tonight.” The host ran away under Ohno’s calls, tears rolling down his cheeks. Why anytime happiness was reaching his heart, something spoiled it? Why couldn’t he keep this happiness for more than several hours? It was always the same. Good things happened and disappeared in the blink of an eye right after, leaving only bitterness and pain in his heart.
“Nino!”
“Let me go!!!” Nino yelled when Ohno grabbed his hand.
“Please, don’t leave, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be, we are nothing to each other.” Nino cried.
“Still so stubborn! Why can’t you listen to me when I want to explain?!”
“There is nothing to explain, I…” Nino’s voice faded when a pair of lips met his.
“You never listen to me until the end, brat.” Ohno sighed some seconds later after pulling away.
“I…”
“Music brings painful memories but since we met, I have started to sing again. A little bit. I have started to compose again. But I’m scared to sing in front of you.”
“Why?”
“Because I fear your judgment. Because I care for you more than you can imagine. Because I love you.”
“You…” Nino’s eyes widened. “You don’t know me.”
“I know you, Nino. More than you think. You are a little diamond for me. You are so adorable, I love the way you try to look strong when you are just like a fragile scared kitten inside. I love your sharp tongue, the way you try to have the last word anytime we ‘argue’. You care for me, wanting to appease the pains in my heart, refusing to be helped in return. You are brilliant, handsome and so kind. I don’t want to be your friend, Nino, because I want to have you for myself. To have you in my arms when I wake up, to kiss you goodbye before going to work. To cherish you and make you happy.”
“But…”
Ohno smiled and opened the box the woman had given him. It contained two silver necklace and Ohno took the chain with the padlock to tie it around Nino’s neck before tying the chain with the key around his own neck.
“The key of your heart. Isn’t it fate?” Ohno blushed, looking at him with loving eyes.
Nino’s heart was beating furiously, not realizing what was happening right now. Ohno had confessed and it made him incredibly happy but at the same time, it scared him. Because there was Ichirou and he loved his boyfriend. And the host refused to destroy Ohno’s heart because of his rotten life.
“I… I…” Tears started to roll down his cheeks.
“I love you since I ran after you because you had stolen my piece of salmon. I love everything about you, Kazunari.” Ohno stroked his wet cheek before pulling their lips in a kiss at the same time the fireworks were starting. The older’s second hand wrapped his friend’s waist to stick him against his own body, his tongue invading Nino’s mouth and making him moan.
Nino’s brain wasn’t working anymore, his body enjoying this amazing deep kiss that Ohno was giving him with all his heart. His arms found their way around Satoshi’s neck, pulling him closer as the kiss was getting deeper. The host’s body was shivering in pleasure, his heart beating so fast that you would think it had stopped, moans leaving his throat as Ohno’s mouth was drawing a path to his neck, sucking his skin and kissing it right after. Nino’s body was on fire and it took him all his will to push his friend away.
“We can’t.” Nino panted.
“Why? And don’t say it’s because you don’t feel anything for me!”
“I… I have a boyfriend, you know it since the beginning.”
“Leave him, then.”
“I love him!”
Sadness shone in Ohno’s eyes but the gamer shook his head. “I can’t, Satoshi… He is everything I have. Without him, I’m nothing.”
“Don’t say that! You don’t need anyone to be someone! You are an amazing person and you don’t need him to exist!”
“I do… Satoshi… I’m not a good man… I have a past, I have done things I’m not proud of and the last thing I want is to have you looking at me with disgust.”
“You’ll never disgust me!!!”
“You would if you knew me. And it would be normal. I also disgust myself. I’m sorry Satoshi, I don’t deserve you and you deserve a so much better man than me. Goodbye.” Nino kissed him a last time before running away, tears rolling down his cheeks. Despite his aching heart, the host didn’t regret anything. Because he had done all that for Ohno. Because he was probably scared to finally find happiness before spoiling everything and ending alone like when his parents abandoned him ten years ago.
Nino closed the door of his apartment and took his clothes off before going to bed quietly not to wake up Ichirou.
****
The next day, Nino kept ignoring Ohno’s calls and messages, avoiding his lover too, to be sure not to end with a new hit though, it had been two weeks since Ichirou’s last hit.
Jun had tried to comfort him but it was obvious nothing would make the gamer smile and it got worse when Nagase called him in his office.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Well, yes and no.” Nagase pushed his phone toward Nino who took it and looked at the video, his eyes widening in shock. “You never told me you dance so well!”
“How did you get that???” Nino gasped. It was video of him dancing with Aiba in a night club.
“I always keep an eye on my new employee to be sure they won’t bring shame on my club.”
“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!!!”
“Oh yes, it will happen again!” Nagase exclaimed.
“Eh?”
“I want you to be a part of my club’s crew. Like you know, I always organize shows some days per month. I want you to create a choreography and to dance. It will bring me more clients and they will pay even more to have you!” Nagase grinned.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea, I have never…” Nino blinked as a strange feeling won his body. “I mean… Okay, but I’ll need a teacher…”
“Don’t worry, you will have everything you need and I have a perfect teacher for you! Come to this address tomorrow morning.” Nagase held him out a piece of paper happily and stood up, the sign the meeting was over.
Nino left the office with a sigh. Why did he agree?!! He had never danced before and even if he was good in night clubs, it didn’t mean he would be able to make a real show. If he failed, Nagase wouldn’t forgive him and he would become the shame of the club. Though, this new ‘promotion’ made him a bit happy. It meant releasing his stress, his pain, his feeling and spending less time with the clients and their annoying conversations. The young host just had to pray to not become famous because the customers were going to book him more to have sex.
The next day, Nino prepared himself carefully and took the bus to go to the address Nagase had given him. Checking his phone, the host smiled sadly, seeing Ohno had stopped to call him. He should have been happy but it only brought pain in his heart, realizing his only friend out of the club didn’t care anymore about him.
“I have to be strong and to forget him.” Nino whispered, stroking the padlock around his neck before shaking his head and entering the building where he found an open room.
“Hi!!!!” A familiar voice greeted him.
“Eh????” Nino gasped. “What are you doing here???”
“It’s obvious, I’m your teacher. Tomo asked me to take care of you.” Jun grinned. “He is right, you dance very well, you know how to move your hips.”
“Thank you. But you can teach dance?”
“Yup. It was one of my jobs some years ago.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Things aren’t always like we want them to be.” Jun sighed sadly. “Let’s start. We have lots of work because even if you know how to move, you have to get better with your technical.”
At the end of the training, four hours later, Nino was dead tired. Jun was a very good teacher but also a true sadist, never letting him take some rest, always asking for more. The younger was seeking for perfection, finding mistakes in even the smallest moves. But the young host had admit this training made him feel better. It allowed him get rid of his stress and his problems.
*****
Nino’s beginnings on the ‘stage’ of the club were hard. The first time, the young host almost forgot his choreography and fell on the stage, though, Nagase and Jun never yelled at him nor blamed him. The boss only asked them to work more on his stress and his confidence.
And some weeks later, Nino was finally ready to face the public. The training had been hard and painful but it had also allowed him to forget Ohno a bit and to release his sadness through the music.
Despite his beating heart, Nino walked on the stage and when the music started, gave all he had inside. Jun had agreed to let him participate at the creation of the choreography, approving the new emotions Nino was now able to transmit through his moves. In the end, this new job was a great thing, making him feel better. For the first time in his life, Nino finally thought that maybe he was good in other things than sex.
The young host bowed deeply when the men of the club clapped their hands, whistling and devouring his body only half covered by some clothes.
But the host’s heart almost stopped when his eyes fell on a familiar figure next to the stage.
Ohno was there, staring at him with a look he wouldn’t be able to describe.
Shit. Nino thought, his smile vanishing.
To be continued…
A/N: Like I promised, I’m posting this one just before leaving for the airport J Things are starting to move as Ohmiya got very closer and Nino’s past is starting to come back J And finally, Ohno has found out Nino’s work, will he accept it or will he reject it? Or will he do something to stop that? Things are going to turn very complicated but soon, you’ll understand everything J In the next chapter…. Well, I don’t even remember what I wrote in the next chapter except that you’ll know more about Sho’s mysterious character xD I’ll have a laptop in Thailand but I don’t know if I’ll have internet, I hope so ><
See you next week (I hope) and comments, even short ones, are deeply <3