If you say so (Final chapter)
Title: If you say so
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: Lilisan31 <3
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakumoto
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama
Summary: Nino and Ohno were living a life full of happiness and love until Nino ran away for a mysterious reason, leaving only a letter to his boyfriend who was decided to pursue him until the end of the world.
Final chapter (Part 1/2):
Three years ago…
Ohno sat sleepily on the chair of his lodge, wondering why he had agreed to do this movie. The plot didn’t even interest him and it wasn’t as if he had any will to play.
Because you want to forget him! A little voice screamed in his mind. It’s been three months since Nino left him and not a single day passed without him hunting Ohno’s dreams. The singer was a complete mess, his nights were spent with bottles of beers, his days were a true nightmare and the only moments he could really sleep peacefully were when he was too drunk to stay awake. His agency had given him a hiatus, realizing their main singer was completely unable to sing or perform on a stage. Ohno didn’t even care to be fired but after some months, had to admit that Nino wouldn’t come back and that he had to move on if he didn’t want to end his life in his toilets, vomiting all day all the alcohol he had drunk.
“Ohno-san?” A voice suddenly made him jump. Ohno stroked his sleepy eyes, his body still trying to fight the big hangover he had won because of the previous night.
“Hum?”
“I’m sorry for disturbing you, I wanted to introduce myself before starting the shooting. I’m Suzuka Morimoto, I’ll be your co-actress for this movie.” A young woman smiled softly.
“Ah… Ohno Satoshi, nice to meet you.” Ohno bowed slightly even if he really didn’t care about this woman. She was a promising young actress, very beautiful and talented but the singer wasn’t interested. Some weeks ago, he had fucked some men met in his favorite bars but had never found a real pleasure, just a quick release and the feeling of disgust for sleeping with someone else than Nino.
Suzuka seemed to be a kind woman. In front of everybody at least. Because when they were alone or with her friends, she could act like a true spoiled princess. At the beginning, Ohno had refused her invitations at the parties she made. She was too insistent. She clearly wanted him in her bed, like some kind of trophy to parade and show she had slept with the famous Ohno Satoshi.
After one month of refusals, Ohno had finally given up and had agreed to go to a karaoke with her. Of course, he had drunk too much and had woken up the morning next to a naked sleeping Suzuka.
“Stay.” Suzuka grabbed Ohno’s arm when the singer tried to leave discreetly.
“It was a mistake, I was drunk, I should go.” Ohno replied honestly.
“For a mistake, you were pretty wild. I’ve loved it. Can’t you try to love me?”
“I’m already in love with someone else.”
“And where is this lucky person?”
“I…”
“You’re heartbroken. It’s why you had a hiatus all these months. But you know, I really like you, last night was great, you also enjoyed it. So, why don’t we try? I can heal your heart.”
“And you wouldn’t care if I cheated on you?”
“No. I’ll do everything to make you love me. I always get what I want and I want you.”
Ohno stared at her with disbelief. Who was this girl to dare to speak like that? The singer was about to refuse when he realized he would have a cover for his career and would be able to fuck who he wanted if he wanted. This woman would never heal his heart but maybe it would help him to move on and to let his Kazu go.
“Okay…”
“Great! Now, make love to me!”
Being with Suzuka wasn’t that bad. Ohno could fuck men without even lying to her. Of course, he never told her he was sleeping with men but he never hid her he was ‘cheating’ on her, knowing perfectly she also had secret lovers when he wasn’t enough here to fuck her. This relationship worked for four months before Ohno started to get bored. Playing the perfect boyfriend in front of everybody to hide such an awful relationship started to be a nightmare. Because he didn’t like Suzuka. He couldn’t find something he liked in her. She had qualities but the singer couldn’t even appreciate them. Maybe because his heart suffered too much.
“Suzuka… We have to stop. I have tried to move on and love you, but I can’t.”
“But…”
“We both know there isn’t any kind of love, you have lovers, I have too so, let’s stop this lie now.”
“We can’t.”
“I don’t ask you your opinion, I’m leaving you.”
“I’m pregnant, Satoshi.”
Ohno froze and turned around to look at her with shocked eyes.
“Impossible. You take the pill, we’ve never talked about having children.”
“I’ve lied. I wanted a child from you. Because like that, you’ll never be able to leave me. You’re mine, now. We’re going to get married and you can’t change that. You wouldn’t abandon a woman with her child, would you?”
“You’ve tricked me!!!”
“Because you’ve never fallen in love with me! I never managed to make you tell me you love me! If I can’t have your love, nobody will! In 6 months,
I’ll give birth and we will be married!”
“You’re disgusting! This child doesn’t deserve that!”
“You will love me, Satoshi! You will have to! And from now on, don’t even dare to fuck someone else because I’ll spoil your career and everything you have!”
Ohno clenched his fists and finally nodded.
“Fine, I’ll do it for this child but only for him. I’ll never love you, we will get married as soon as possible but don’t expect me to act like a kind husband.
I’ll go now, I need some air.”
“Satoshi!!!” Suzuka cried.
The singer left the apartment, driving quickly to Jun’s agency. What did he do to deserve such a fate? Losing Nino was already a nightmare but now, he had to marry a woman he didn’t even love.
“Satoshi?” Jun looked at him with surprise when Ohno entered his office without even knocking.
“I…” Ohno started to cry, not able to form a proper sentence. The younger stood up and hugged him tightly.
“Shhhh… It’s okay, you can cry…”
“What did I do? Why everything is against me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Suzuka tricked me. She never took her pill, she is pregnant and she wants to get married.”
“I see.” Jun bit his lip. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t really have the choice. I wanted to break up because I can’t forget Kazu but she told me… pregnant, Jun! I can’t be a papa, not with her! I
wanted a child with Kazu!” Ohno sobbed.
“I know. This situation is really cruel… I want to help you so much but I can’t do anything… I feel useless…”
“It’s not your fault and you can’t do anything, I have to deal with her myself.”
“If you need me, call me, please.”
“Thank you, Jun.”
The first months were awful for Ohno who had to bear Suzuka’s wishes but as time passed, the singer started to get used to his new life. He would probably never love his wife but maybe they could become friends. What helped Ohno to move on was Kazuya’s birth. Satoshi had never really planned to have children, even when he was with Nino. His life was already perfect, he loved his tranquility and these moments he could spend with his lover. A child meant too much noise, too many responsibilities for the singer who was too calm to even get angry. But Ohno was ready to adopt if one day, his lover wished to.
“Here is your son, Ohno-san.” The doctor gave him the small baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Ohno took him clumsily, not knowing at all how to hold a baby and how to react but when his eyes met Kazuya’s, the singer’s heart started to clench and a big smile appeared on his face.
“Kazu-chan… you’re so beautiful… I promise I’ll protect you from everything, my little angel…” The baby babbled, catching his finger to suck it happily. “I love you, little wonder…” Ohno whispered, kissing his forehead softly.
“Now, you’re really a father, Satoshi.” Suzuka smiled from her bed.
“I’ll do my best to be a good father.” Despite Ohno’s happiness to have his baby in his arms, he couldn’t stop thinking about his ex-lover who should be
the one at Suzuka’s place. “I have to forget him… I’ll concentrate on you, Kazuya, you’ll be my strength from now on…” Satoshi whispered to the baby.
****
Present day…
Ohno closed the door of his apartment, mumbling a ‘tadaima’ to Suzuka who was on the sofa.
“Do you feel better?”
“Yes, thank you…” Ohno sat next to her, inhaling deeply before taking all his courage to confront his wife. “Suzuka, I want to divorce.”
“I knew you would say that. And you perfectly know my answer.”
“Why? We don’t even love each other.”
“I do love you.”
“No, Suzuka, you’ve never loved me. You tried, I can’t deny that but you’ve never managed to feel more than friendship for me. I have also tried and for
that, I got to know you better. And I know you don’t love me. Stop lying to yourself and let’s divorce in good terms.”
“No.”
“Why? Tell me the real reason.”
“I’ll never divorce. I’m a famous actress and we can get through this bad phase if you accept to make some efforts.”
“You perfectly know our couple has never worked, we only got back together because of Kazuya…”
“And what are you going to do? Have you thought about your son? You’re ready to abandon him?”
“I… No…”
“It’s what I thought. Then, make some efforts to fix our couple. A divorce would affect our careers, mostly yours.”
“I don’t care about my career…”
“If you really did, you would have made your coming out.”
“What do you mean?” Ohno frowned.
“I’m not completely stupid, Satoshi, I know you are bi. I have seen your stares when we meet gorgeous men. You’ve never looked at another woman
than me because you were looking at men. If you really didn’t care about your career, you would have told to your fans that you love to fuck men!”
Ohno sighed, stroking his eyes tiredly.
“Why? Is it such a pleasure to make me suffer? What have I done to you?”
“I wanted you and I told you I always get what I want.”
“But you don’t even love me!”
“It doesn’t matter. The most important is my career.”
“You can throw the entire fault on me if you care so much about your career but please, let me go.”
“It’s because of him you want to divorce, ne?”
“Eh?”
“I’m not blind like him, I can see how you look at him when he is next to you. It’s so disgusting!”
“Why? Since when it’s disgusting to love someone?”
“He is a man!!! And he is blind!!!”
“And what? He is blind so he can’t be loved?”
“He is useless.”
Ohno clenched his fists in anger. Slapping her wouldn’t resolve anything even if he dreamt to.
“He isn’t useless. He is the most beautiful and pure person I know. He doesn’t care about my career as long as I’m happy with my job, he sees the real
me.”
“You only say that because he is a good fuck.”
“You’re horrible. He has rejected me only because he says it’s unfair for you and Kazuya and you, you dare to talk about him like that.”
“And what? It’s not because he is blind that I should be kind. He takes advantage of his blindness!”
“I’ll contact my lawyer and agency if you don’t want to act like an adult and agree to divorce.” Ohno sighed, standing up.
“If you do that, you can say goodbye to your career and your son. You will be forbidden to see Kazuya ever again!”
Ohno froze and inhaled deeply.
“Don’t try to make such low blackmail. I’ll do everything to divorce and to have Kazuya’s custody for at least two weeks per month. I won’t let you win and spoil my life anymore. It’s sad, Suzuka because even if I never managed to fall in love with you, I really liked you, like a good friend. You’re not a bad person but your obsession with your career has turned you into a monster.” Ohno joined Kazuya’s bedroom, taking the crying baby in his arms.
“Hey, calm down my angel, it’s okay…”
“Papa…” Kazuya smiled.
“Let’s go out, you need some air.”
“Where do you think you are going?”
“I’ll take him to the park, I’m not going to kidnap him, I’m not stupid.” Ohno snapped for Suzuka’s surprise.
“Okay…”
Ohno left and knocked on Nino’s door, needing to see him to calm down.
“Ohno-san?”
“Aiba-san, hello…”
“Come in…” The younger opened the door widely, allowing the singer to enter.
“Thank you, Kazu is here?”
“Yes, he is with Manoa in the living room. What are you doing here?”
“I needed some air.” Ohno took his shoes off and joined the living room where Nino was playing with Manoa as much as he could.
“Ohchan? Why are you here?”
“Hey, it’s not fun if you recognize my steps.” Ohno chuckled. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I needed some air, I have Kazuya with me.”
“Nino!” The baby exclaimed, holding out his arms.
“He really likes you.” Ohno chuckled, putting Kazuya on the ground.
“He is cute. Come on, Kazu, this is Manoa, you can be friends.”
Manoa looked at the baby before smiling. “He is a baby!”
“Yes, he is two years old, be careful.” Ohno smiled.
“Hello, I’m Manoa!” Kazuya giggled and kissed his cheek.
“They are cute.”
“Yes, Kazu is very soft with everybody.”
“He seems to be like you.” Nino stroked the baby’s hair with a smile.
“And if I took them out?” Aiba proposed. “They need to have some air and like that, you two will be able to talk.”
“Masaki, don’t start again.” Nino sighed.
“What? It’s just to let you some time alone, Ohno wants to talk, it’s obvious. Come on cute baby boys, it’s time to go out!” Aiba grinned, taking one boy in each arm.
“Don’t lose them!!!”
“Oi! I’m perfectly able to take care of babies, thank you!” Aiba muttered before leaving.
“This idiot…” Nino sighed. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“I…” Ohno stared at Nino for some seconds before shaking his head. He wanted to tell him everything but at the same time, didn’t want to bother Nino and to get him problems because of his decision. “I wanted to see you…”
“Ohchan…”
“I won’t ask you anything. You’ve made things clear between us, I know you don’t want me back but…”
“Wait, who was the one who said he had a family and that we had to be friends?”
“I was trying to be rational.”
“And you were right. But don’t talk as if I had decided that!”
“It’s you who has left me! You also have a part of responsibility!”
“I did it for you!!!”
“I know but it was so stupid!! Baka!!! Baka baka!!!!”
“You’re such a child! I wonder how I did to fall for you!” Nino replied.
“Because you’re an idiot!”
“Like you!!” Nino cried and didn’t even protest when Ohno grabbed his nape to smack their lips together. The gamer whined when teeth started to bite his skin, leaving red marks behind their passage, Ohno’s hands starting to open Nino’s shirt. “Ohchan…”
“Don’t stop me, please…” The singer implored with despair while taking their clothes off.
“Hurry up, then!” Ohno raised him in his arms to lay him on the bed, stroking every part of his body, kissing every inch of skin his lips met.
“I’ve missed you so much… I’ve dreamt of that so many times.” His fingers came to prepare him carefully, finding naturally Nino’s weakest points as if they had never stopped to sleep together during all these years. Nino moaned loudly when a full mouth wrapped his length, sucking him perfectly and making him come in a record.
“S-orry… It’s been so long…”
“Don’t worry, you’re still so good.” Ohno smiled, making Nino blush deeply. The singer caught his lips to kiss him, moving against him to get him hard quickly before slipping inside him slowly not to hurt him. Nino whined a bit, not used to be taken after all these years of abstinence. “Sorry…”
“It’s okay… You can move…”
Nino started to moan loudly at each move, discovering with surprise how intense sex could be now he had lost his sight. Every little touch felt wonderfully good, sending shivers right into his heart, Ohno’s moans exciting him even more.
“Ohchan…”
“You feel so good… I’ve missed you so much…” Ohno moved harder and faster, sucking Nino’s neck, his hands stroking the younger’s thighs with love.
“I’m… co-ming…” Nino gasped, his hands lost in Ohno’s hair, his mouth looking for his with despair.
“Come for me… Kazu…” Moving harder, the singer brought them over the edge in loud moans, collapsing next to Nino. “Woah… It was something…”
“Hum…” Strangely, Nino wasn’t as happy as the older, knowing perfectly it was a mistake, that Ohno would go back to his wife, leaving him only a good memory and a new loss in his heart. He couldn’t blame Ohno though, he also had wanted what just happened and even if he didn’t like his ex’s wife, the pain would soon come at the second Satoshi would go back to her.
“What are you thinking about?” Ohno asked, kissing his shoulder softly.
“Nothing… You’re still pretty good in bed…” Nino forced a smile.
“I’m going to divorce, Kazu.”
“What??”
“I have talked to Suzuka. I’ll leave her. I can’t handle this situation anymore, I’m unhappy and tired to lie.”
“You can’t do that, have you thought about your son???”
“Yes and I also do that for him. It’s not healthy for him to have a father who doesn’t love his mother and who is crazy about his ex-boyfriend.”
“You know that we won’t go back together even if you leave her?”
“But Kazu…”
“No, Ohchan. I can’t. Leaving her because you don’t love her is a thing but leaving her for me is impossible. She will seek for revenge, she will forbid you to see Kazuya, your son will have to deal with YOUR choice later. It’s too egoist. I won’t be the one who will have broken his family.”
“We’ll find a solution…”
“No, Ohchan, we have to accept nothing is possible between us.”
“I can’t.” Ohno moved above him, kissing his neck.
“Ohchan, stop…”
“No… You, stop running away… we’re made for each other, all these years separated have proved it. I love you and won’t let you go of my life anymore.” Ohno slipped inside him again, making him moan loudly.
****
Ohno put the papers on the kitchen’s table with determinate eyes.
“I told you I won’t sign them.”
“Then, you will talk to my lawyer. I’ll find another apartment and will come back to see Kazuya.”
“You can say goodbye to your son.” Suzuka smirked. “You won’t go to your little bitch.”
“Wh…”
“I know you’ve fucked him. Ninomiya is like a diamond in your eyes, anytime you look at him, you have this light in your eyes, you literally eat him
with your looks, it’s so obvious. I won’t tolerate your start for a bitch like him. You’re mine and you have to accept it.”
“I’m not an object, Suzuka!”
“Sort of. Don’t worry, your little bitch won’t let you approach him ever again after tonight.”
“Stop calling him like that! And what do you mean?”
“The bell is ringing, it must be him. I have invited him for dinner because I said I wanted to tell him something very important.” Suzuka smirked and opened the door, smiling falsely. “Hello, Nino-san, come in.”
“Thank you…” Nino entered with an uncomfortable face.
“I’ll kill you if you hurt him.” Ohno growled.
“I’m scared.”
They all sat around the table, Suzuka serving the dinner.
“So, what did you want to tell me?”
“We have decided to move in Kyoto.”
“What??!” Both Nino and Ohno gasped.
“Satoshi wanted to divorce like you should know but we have talked and we have agreed to take a new start and to give a chance to our couple. That’s why we are going to live in Kyoto. I’m very happy because Satoshi believes in our couple.”
“We’ve never talked about that!”
“We did. You agreed it was the best choice for Kazuya. I hope you don’t mind, Nino-san.”
“Not really.” Nino said coldly.
“But now I think about it, why did you cut any relationship with Satoshi? He suffered a lot to lose you as a friend…”
“Excuse me?” Nino frowned.
“Suzuka! Don’t bother Nino with your questions and stop with your lies.” Ohno growled.
“No, go on, I’m curious about what you’ve told her.”
“He said you were in love with him and you didn’t bear it when he rejected you.”
“Suzuka! Stop it now!” Ohno raised his voice for the first time, making his wife blink in surprise.
“I’m only saying the truth. It’s sad to pity your best friend so, it’s better to cut your bonds in this case.”
“Excuse me. I have something to do.” Nino stood up and left the apartment.
“Kazu!!!” Ohno screamed. “Why did you do that?!! He didn’t deserve these lies and your cruel words!”
“Because he has to remember you belong to me. You had fun fucking him but now, it’s over, we are going to leave this town and you’ll see a therapist for your disgusting tastes! We can also have another child, it’s about time.”
“I won’t ever touch you again, you’re a monster!” Ohno left, slamming the door angrily. “Kazu…” The singer found his little lover outside in a corner.
“She lied, I’ve never said that.”
“I know.” Nino smiled painfully. “And it’s why we have to stop that. Because she just proved she will never let you go without taking her revenge. You’ll lose everything, Satoshi and you will regret all your life to choose me over your son. He is the most important.”
“I can’t, Kazu… I swear you all these years I have tried to live without you but I’m unhappy. I need you so much…”
“And your son needs you.” Nino stroked his cheek with sadness, tears rolling down his. The younger took his glasses off and ‘stared’ at him painfully.
“I’m not able to offer you all the things you need. I… I have made that.” Nino gave him a CD. “I have sent it to an agency, they really liked it and I have signed a contract with them. I’m going to leave the shadow of my life, I’ll maybe become a real singer… This song is for you. To close this chapter of our lives and move on. Be happy, Ohchan, you deserve it.” Nino kissed him softly before entering his apartment.
Ohno laid in his car, putting the CD and closing his eyes. He had always loved Nino’s voice, the gamer was able to sing with so much sensitivity, making you feel every word, every emotion in his songs.
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
“Baka…” Ohno sobbed, wiping his eyes. Why things couldn’t be easy? Why couldn’t they go back together without any consequences? Life had already stolen him his lover and was about to steal him again but this time, it would be definitive and despite all his will, Ohno couldn’t accept it. Of course, his son was the most important but without Nino, how would he survive? How would he get up everyday if his lover wasn’t here anymore? All this time, Ohno had always hoped to find the gamer again, had always thought that one day, he would find Nino and wouldn’t let him go ever again. His prays had been granted when he moved in this town but the new separation wasn’t part of his plan. Everything should have been different. Today, Nino should be his again, they should find an apartment together and live like any happy normal couple. Ohno shouldn’t be here, in his car, crying and listening to an amazing song made to say goodbye.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh oh
After some minutes, Ohno already knew the song by heart, singing with Nino’s voice endlessly, tears not stopping once to roll down his cheeks before the singer fell asleep in his car. Was it really the end? Did he have to give up on Nino and to follow his own path? But if giving up was the right choice, Ohno wouldn’t feel this pain and emptiness in his heart. Even if Nino didn’t want him anymore in his life, Ohno was decided to change and to finally make his own choices.
The next day, Ohno was making his luggage and was leaving Suzuka who, despite her threats, didn’t try to hold him back. After booking a room in a hotel, the singer called his agency to inform them about his decision to divorce. Like he thought, his boss didn’t welcome the news with a happy smile and tried to make him change his mind before giving up when he saw Ohno’s determination. They would have to deal with Suzuka’s lawyer and to try to make it goes well if they didn’t want her to steal everything Ohno had. But whatever Suzuka would do, Ohno left the agency with happiness, starting to feel free for the first time in three years. It was the beginning of a new life and his only fear was to lose his son, he didn’t care about his money or career as long as he could see his son often.
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
“Where is he?” Suzuka snapped, making Nino jumped as he was leaving his apartment.
“Eh?”
“Don’t play the dumb one, I’m talking about Satoshi!”
Part 2
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: Lilisan31 <3
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ohmiya, Sakumoto
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama
Summary: Nino and Ohno were living a life full of happiness and love until Nino ran away for a mysterious reason, leaving only a letter to his boyfriend who was decided to pursue him until the end of the world.
Final chapter (Part 1/2):
Three years ago…
Ohno sat sleepily on the chair of his lodge, wondering why he had agreed to do this movie. The plot didn’t even interest him and it wasn’t as if he had any will to play.
Because you want to forget him! A little voice screamed in his mind. It’s been three months since Nino left him and not a single day passed without him hunting Ohno’s dreams. The singer was a complete mess, his nights were spent with bottles of beers, his days were a true nightmare and the only moments he could really sleep peacefully were when he was too drunk to stay awake. His agency had given him a hiatus, realizing their main singer was completely unable to sing or perform on a stage. Ohno didn’t even care to be fired but after some months, had to admit that Nino wouldn’t come back and that he had to move on if he didn’t want to end his life in his toilets, vomiting all day all the alcohol he had drunk.
“Ohno-san?” A voice suddenly made him jump. Ohno stroked his sleepy eyes, his body still trying to fight the big hangover he had won because of the previous night.
“Hum?”
“I’m sorry for disturbing you, I wanted to introduce myself before starting the shooting. I’m Suzuka Morimoto, I’ll be your co-actress for this movie.” A young woman smiled softly.
“Ah… Ohno Satoshi, nice to meet you.” Ohno bowed slightly even if he really didn’t care about this woman. She was a promising young actress, very beautiful and talented but the singer wasn’t interested. Some weeks ago, he had fucked some men met in his favorite bars but had never found a real pleasure, just a quick release and the feeling of disgust for sleeping with someone else than Nino.
Suzuka seemed to be a kind woman. In front of everybody at least. Because when they were alone or with her friends, she could act like a true spoiled princess. At the beginning, Ohno had refused her invitations at the parties she made. She was too insistent. She clearly wanted him in her bed, like some kind of trophy to parade and show she had slept with the famous Ohno Satoshi.
After one month of refusals, Ohno had finally given up and had agreed to go to a karaoke with her. Of course, he had drunk too much and had woken up the morning next to a naked sleeping Suzuka.
“Stay.” Suzuka grabbed Ohno’s arm when the singer tried to leave discreetly.
“It was a mistake, I was drunk, I should go.” Ohno replied honestly.
“For a mistake, you were pretty wild. I’ve loved it. Can’t you try to love me?”
“I’m already in love with someone else.”
“And where is this lucky person?”
“I…”
“You’re heartbroken. It’s why you had a hiatus all these months. But you know, I really like you, last night was great, you also enjoyed it. So, why don’t we try? I can heal your heart.”
“And you wouldn’t care if I cheated on you?”
“No. I’ll do everything to make you love me. I always get what I want and I want you.”
Ohno stared at her with disbelief. Who was this girl to dare to speak like that? The singer was about to refuse when he realized he would have a cover for his career and would be able to fuck who he wanted if he wanted. This woman would never heal his heart but maybe it would help him to move on and to let his Kazu go.
“Okay…”
“Great! Now, make love to me!”
Being with Suzuka wasn’t that bad. Ohno could fuck men without even lying to her. Of course, he never told her he was sleeping with men but he never hid her he was ‘cheating’ on her, knowing perfectly she also had secret lovers when he wasn’t enough here to fuck her. This relationship worked for four months before Ohno started to get bored. Playing the perfect boyfriend in front of everybody to hide such an awful relationship started to be a nightmare. Because he didn’t like Suzuka. He couldn’t find something he liked in her. She had qualities but the singer couldn’t even appreciate them. Maybe because his heart suffered too much.
“Suzuka… We have to stop. I have tried to move on and love you, but I can’t.”
“But…”
“We both know there isn’t any kind of love, you have lovers, I have too so, let’s stop this lie now.”
“We can’t.”
“I don’t ask you your opinion, I’m leaving you.”
“I’m pregnant, Satoshi.”
Ohno froze and turned around to look at her with shocked eyes.
“Impossible. You take the pill, we’ve never talked about having children.”
“I’ve lied. I wanted a child from you. Because like that, you’ll never be able to leave me. You’re mine, now. We’re going to get married and you can’t change that. You wouldn’t abandon a woman with her child, would you?”
“You’ve tricked me!!!”
“Because you’ve never fallen in love with me! I never managed to make you tell me you love me! If I can’t have your love, nobody will! In 6 months,
I’ll give birth and we will be married!”
“You’re disgusting! This child doesn’t deserve that!”
“You will love me, Satoshi! You will have to! And from now on, don’t even dare to fuck someone else because I’ll spoil your career and everything you have!”
Ohno clenched his fists and finally nodded.
“Fine, I’ll do it for this child but only for him. I’ll never love you, we will get married as soon as possible but don’t expect me to act like a kind husband.
I’ll go now, I need some air.”
“Satoshi!!!” Suzuka cried.
The singer left the apartment, driving quickly to Jun’s agency. What did he do to deserve such a fate? Losing Nino was already a nightmare but now, he had to marry a woman he didn’t even love.
“Satoshi?” Jun looked at him with surprise when Ohno entered his office without even knocking.
“I…” Ohno started to cry, not able to form a proper sentence. The younger stood up and hugged him tightly.
“Shhhh… It’s okay, you can cry…”
“What did I do? Why everything is against me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Suzuka tricked me. She never took her pill, she is pregnant and she wants to get married.”
“I see.” Jun bit his lip. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t really have the choice. I wanted to break up because I can’t forget Kazu but she told me… pregnant, Jun! I can’t be a papa, not with her! I
wanted a child with Kazu!” Ohno sobbed.
“I know. This situation is really cruel… I want to help you so much but I can’t do anything… I feel useless…”
“It’s not your fault and you can’t do anything, I have to deal with her myself.”
“If you need me, call me, please.”
“Thank you, Jun.”
The first months were awful for Ohno who had to bear Suzuka’s wishes but as time passed, the singer started to get used to his new life. He would probably never love his wife but maybe they could become friends. What helped Ohno to move on was Kazuya’s birth. Satoshi had never really planned to have children, even when he was with Nino. His life was already perfect, he loved his tranquility and these moments he could spend with his lover. A child meant too much noise, too many responsibilities for the singer who was too calm to even get angry. But Ohno was ready to adopt if one day, his lover wished to.
“Here is your son, Ohno-san.” The doctor gave him the small baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Ohno took him clumsily, not knowing at all how to hold a baby and how to react but when his eyes met Kazuya’s, the singer’s heart started to clench and a big smile appeared on his face.
“Kazu-chan… you’re so beautiful… I promise I’ll protect you from everything, my little angel…” The baby babbled, catching his finger to suck it happily. “I love you, little wonder…” Ohno whispered, kissing his forehead softly.
“Now, you’re really a father, Satoshi.” Suzuka smiled from her bed.
“I’ll do my best to be a good father.” Despite Ohno’s happiness to have his baby in his arms, he couldn’t stop thinking about his ex-lover who should be
the one at Suzuka’s place. “I have to forget him… I’ll concentrate on you, Kazuya, you’ll be my strength from now on…” Satoshi whispered to the baby.
****
Present day…
Ohno closed the door of his apartment, mumbling a ‘tadaima’ to Suzuka who was on the sofa.
“Do you feel better?”
“Yes, thank you…” Ohno sat next to her, inhaling deeply before taking all his courage to confront his wife. “Suzuka, I want to divorce.”
“I knew you would say that. And you perfectly know my answer.”
“Why? We don’t even love each other.”
“I do love you.”
“No, Suzuka, you’ve never loved me. You tried, I can’t deny that but you’ve never managed to feel more than friendship for me. I have also tried and for
that, I got to know you better. And I know you don’t love me. Stop lying to yourself and let’s divorce in good terms.”
“No.”
“Why? Tell me the real reason.”
“I’ll never divorce. I’m a famous actress and we can get through this bad phase if you accept to make some efforts.”
“You perfectly know our couple has never worked, we only got back together because of Kazuya…”
“And what are you going to do? Have you thought about your son? You’re ready to abandon him?”
“I… No…”
“It’s what I thought. Then, make some efforts to fix our couple. A divorce would affect our careers, mostly yours.”
“I don’t care about my career…”
“If you really did, you would have made your coming out.”
“What do you mean?” Ohno frowned.
“I’m not completely stupid, Satoshi, I know you are bi. I have seen your stares when we meet gorgeous men. You’ve never looked at another woman
than me because you were looking at men. If you really didn’t care about your career, you would have told to your fans that you love to fuck men!”
Ohno sighed, stroking his eyes tiredly.
“Why? Is it such a pleasure to make me suffer? What have I done to you?”
“I wanted you and I told you I always get what I want.”
“But you don’t even love me!”
“It doesn’t matter. The most important is my career.”
“You can throw the entire fault on me if you care so much about your career but please, let me go.”
“It’s because of him you want to divorce, ne?”
“Eh?”
“I’m not blind like him, I can see how you look at him when he is next to you. It’s so disgusting!”
“Why? Since when it’s disgusting to love someone?”
“He is a man!!! And he is blind!!!”
“And what? He is blind so he can’t be loved?”
“He is useless.”
Ohno clenched his fists in anger. Slapping her wouldn’t resolve anything even if he dreamt to.
“He isn’t useless. He is the most beautiful and pure person I know. He doesn’t care about my career as long as I’m happy with my job, he sees the real
me.”
“You only say that because he is a good fuck.”
“You’re horrible. He has rejected me only because he says it’s unfair for you and Kazuya and you, you dare to talk about him like that.”
“And what? It’s not because he is blind that I should be kind. He takes advantage of his blindness!”
“I’ll contact my lawyer and agency if you don’t want to act like an adult and agree to divorce.” Ohno sighed, standing up.
“If you do that, you can say goodbye to your career and your son. You will be forbidden to see Kazuya ever again!”
Ohno froze and inhaled deeply.
“Don’t try to make such low blackmail. I’ll do everything to divorce and to have Kazuya’s custody for at least two weeks per month. I won’t let you win and spoil my life anymore. It’s sad, Suzuka because even if I never managed to fall in love with you, I really liked you, like a good friend. You’re not a bad person but your obsession with your career has turned you into a monster.” Ohno joined Kazuya’s bedroom, taking the crying baby in his arms.
“Hey, calm down my angel, it’s okay…”
“Papa…” Kazuya smiled.
“Let’s go out, you need some air.”
“Where do you think you are going?”
“I’ll take him to the park, I’m not going to kidnap him, I’m not stupid.” Ohno snapped for Suzuka’s surprise.
“Okay…”
Ohno left and knocked on Nino’s door, needing to see him to calm down.
“Ohno-san?”
“Aiba-san, hello…”
“Come in…” The younger opened the door widely, allowing the singer to enter.
“Thank you, Kazu is here?”
“Yes, he is with Manoa in the living room. What are you doing here?”
“I needed some air.” Ohno took his shoes off and joined the living room where Nino was playing with Manoa as much as he could.
“Ohchan? Why are you here?”
“Hey, it’s not fun if you recognize my steps.” Ohno chuckled. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I needed some air, I have Kazuya with me.”
“Nino!” The baby exclaimed, holding out his arms.
“He really likes you.” Ohno chuckled, putting Kazuya on the ground.
“He is cute. Come on, Kazu, this is Manoa, you can be friends.”
Manoa looked at the baby before smiling. “He is a baby!”
“Yes, he is two years old, be careful.” Ohno smiled.
“Hello, I’m Manoa!” Kazuya giggled and kissed his cheek.
“They are cute.”
“Yes, Kazu is very soft with everybody.”
“He seems to be like you.” Nino stroked the baby’s hair with a smile.
“And if I took them out?” Aiba proposed. “They need to have some air and like that, you two will be able to talk.”
“Masaki, don’t start again.” Nino sighed.
“What? It’s just to let you some time alone, Ohno wants to talk, it’s obvious. Come on cute baby boys, it’s time to go out!” Aiba grinned, taking one boy in each arm.
“Don’t lose them!!!”
“Oi! I’m perfectly able to take care of babies, thank you!” Aiba muttered before leaving.
“This idiot…” Nino sighed. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
“I…” Ohno stared at Nino for some seconds before shaking his head. He wanted to tell him everything but at the same time, didn’t want to bother Nino and to get him problems because of his decision. “I wanted to see you…”
“Ohchan…”
“I won’t ask you anything. You’ve made things clear between us, I know you don’t want me back but…”
“Wait, who was the one who said he had a family and that we had to be friends?”
“I was trying to be rational.”
“And you were right. But don’t talk as if I had decided that!”
“It’s you who has left me! You also have a part of responsibility!”
“I did it for you!!!”
“I know but it was so stupid!! Baka!!! Baka baka!!!!”
“You’re such a child! I wonder how I did to fall for you!” Nino replied.
“Because you’re an idiot!”
“Like you!!” Nino cried and didn’t even protest when Ohno grabbed his nape to smack their lips together. The gamer whined when teeth started to bite his skin, leaving red marks behind their passage, Ohno’s hands starting to open Nino’s shirt. “Ohchan…”
“Don’t stop me, please…” The singer implored with despair while taking their clothes off.
“Hurry up, then!” Ohno raised him in his arms to lay him on the bed, stroking every part of his body, kissing every inch of skin his lips met.
“I’ve missed you so much… I’ve dreamt of that so many times.” His fingers came to prepare him carefully, finding naturally Nino’s weakest points as if they had never stopped to sleep together during all these years. Nino moaned loudly when a full mouth wrapped his length, sucking him perfectly and making him come in a record.
“S-orry… It’s been so long…”
“Don’t worry, you’re still so good.” Ohno smiled, making Nino blush deeply. The singer caught his lips to kiss him, moving against him to get him hard quickly before slipping inside him slowly not to hurt him. Nino whined a bit, not used to be taken after all these years of abstinence. “Sorry…”
“It’s okay… You can move…”
Nino started to moan loudly at each move, discovering with surprise how intense sex could be now he had lost his sight. Every little touch felt wonderfully good, sending shivers right into his heart, Ohno’s moans exciting him even more.
“Ohchan…”
“You feel so good… I’ve missed you so much…” Ohno moved harder and faster, sucking Nino’s neck, his hands stroking the younger’s thighs with love.
“I’m… co-ming…” Nino gasped, his hands lost in Ohno’s hair, his mouth looking for his with despair.
“Come for me… Kazu…” Moving harder, the singer brought them over the edge in loud moans, collapsing next to Nino. “Woah… It was something…”
“Hum…” Strangely, Nino wasn’t as happy as the older, knowing perfectly it was a mistake, that Ohno would go back to his wife, leaving him only a good memory and a new loss in his heart. He couldn’t blame Ohno though, he also had wanted what just happened and even if he didn’t like his ex’s wife, the pain would soon come at the second Satoshi would go back to her.
“What are you thinking about?” Ohno asked, kissing his shoulder softly.
“Nothing… You’re still pretty good in bed…” Nino forced a smile.
“I’m going to divorce, Kazu.”
“What??”
“I have talked to Suzuka. I’ll leave her. I can’t handle this situation anymore, I’m unhappy and tired to lie.”
“You can’t do that, have you thought about your son???”
“Yes and I also do that for him. It’s not healthy for him to have a father who doesn’t love his mother and who is crazy about his ex-boyfriend.”
“You know that we won’t go back together even if you leave her?”
“But Kazu…”
“No, Ohchan. I can’t. Leaving her because you don’t love her is a thing but leaving her for me is impossible. She will seek for revenge, she will forbid you to see Kazuya, your son will have to deal with YOUR choice later. It’s too egoist. I won’t be the one who will have broken his family.”
“We’ll find a solution…”
“No, Ohchan, we have to accept nothing is possible between us.”
“I can’t.” Ohno moved above him, kissing his neck.
“Ohchan, stop…”
“No… You, stop running away… we’re made for each other, all these years separated have proved it. I love you and won’t let you go of my life anymore.” Ohno slipped inside him again, making him moan loudly.
****
Ohno put the papers on the kitchen’s table with determinate eyes.
“I told you I won’t sign them.”
“Then, you will talk to my lawyer. I’ll find another apartment and will come back to see Kazuya.”
“You can say goodbye to your son.” Suzuka smirked. “You won’t go to your little bitch.”
“Wh…”
“I know you’ve fucked him. Ninomiya is like a diamond in your eyes, anytime you look at him, you have this light in your eyes, you literally eat him
with your looks, it’s so obvious. I won’t tolerate your start for a bitch like him. You’re mine and you have to accept it.”
“I’m not an object, Suzuka!”
“Sort of. Don’t worry, your little bitch won’t let you approach him ever again after tonight.”
“Stop calling him like that! And what do you mean?”
“The bell is ringing, it must be him. I have invited him for dinner because I said I wanted to tell him something very important.” Suzuka smirked and opened the door, smiling falsely. “Hello, Nino-san, come in.”
“Thank you…” Nino entered with an uncomfortable face.
“I’ll kill you if you hurt him.” Ohno growled.
“I’m scared.”
They all sat around the table, Suzuka serving the dinner.
“So, what did you want to tell me?”
“We have decided to move in Kyoto.”
“What??!” Both Nino and Ohno gasped.
“Satoshi wanted to divorce like you should know but we have talked and we have agreed to take a new start and to give a chance to our couple. That’s why we are going to live in Kyoto. I’m very happy because Satoshi believes in our couple.”
“We’ve never talked about that!”
“We did. You agreed it was the best choice for Kazuya. I hope you don’t mind, Nino-san.”
“Not really.” Nino said coldly.
“But now I think about it, why did you cut any relationship with Satoshi? He suffered a lot to lose you as a friend…”
“Excuse me?” Nino frowned.
“Suzuka! Don’t bother Nino with your questions and stop with your lies.” Ohno growled.
“No, go on, I’m curious about what you’ve told her.”
“He said you were in love with him and you didn’t bear it when he rejected you.”
“Suzuka! Stop it now!” Ohno raised his voice for the first time, making his wife blink in surprise.
“I’m only saying the truth. It’s sad to pity your best friend so, it’s better to cut your bonds in this case.”
“Excuse me. I have something to do.” Nino stood up and left the apartment.
“Kazu!!!” Ohno screamed. “Why did you do that?!! He didn’t deserve these lies and your cruel words!”
“Because he has to remember you belong to me. You had fun fucking him but now, it’s over, we are going to leave this town and you’ll see a therapist for your disgusting tastes! We can also have another child, it’s about time.”
“I won’t ever touch you again, you’re a monster!” Ohno left, slamming the door angrily. “Kazu…” The singer found his little lover outside in a corner.
“She lied, I’ve never said that.”
“I know.” Nino smiled painfully. “And it’s why we have to stop that. Because she just proved she will never let you go without taking her revenge. You’ll lose everything, Satoshi and you will regret all your life to choose me over your son. He is the most important.”
“I can’t, Kazu… I swear you all these years I have tried to live without you but I’m unhappy. I need you so much…”
“And your son needs you.” Nino stroked his cheek with sadness, tears rolling down his. The younger took his glasses off and ‘stared’ at him painfully.
“I’m not able to offer you all the things you need. I… I have made that.” Nino gave him a CD. “I have sent it to an agency, they really liked it and I have signed a contract with them. I’m going to leave the shadow of my life, I’ll maybe become a real singer… This song is for you. To close this chapter of our lives and move on. Be happy, Ohchan, you deserve it.” Nino kissed him softly before entering his apartment.
Ohno laid in his car, putting the CD and closing his eyes. He had always loved Nino’s voice, the gamer was able to sing with so much sensitivity, making you feel every word, every emotion in his songs.
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
“Baka…” Ohno sobbed, wiping his eyes. Why things couldn’t be easy? Why couldn’t they go back together without any consequences? Life had already stolen him his lover and was about to steal him again but this time, it would be definitive and despite all his will, Ohno couldn’t accept it. Of course, his son was the most important but without Nino, how would he survive? How would he get up everyday if his lover wasn’t here anymore? All this time, Ohno had always hoped to find the gamer again, had always thought that one day, he would find Nino and wouldn’t let him go ever again. His prays had been granted when he moved in this town but the new separation wasn’t part of his plan. Everything should have been different. Today, Nino should be his again, they should find an apartment together and live like any happy normal couple. Ohno shouldn’t be here, in his car, crying and listening to an amazing song made to say goodbye.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh oh
After some minutes, Ohno already knew the song by heart, singing with Nino’s voice endlessly, tears not stopping once to roll down his cheeks before the singer fell asleep in his car. Was it really the end? Did he have to give up on Nino and to follow his own path? But if giving up was the right choice, Ohno wouldn’t feel this pain and emptiness in his heart. Even if Nino didn’t want him anymore in his life, Ohno was decided to change and to finally make his own choices.
The next day, Ohno was making his luggage and was leaving Suzuka who, despite her threats, didn’t try to hold him back. After booking a room in a hotel, the singer called his agency to inform them about his decision to divorce. Like he thought, his boss didn’t welcome the news with a happy smile and tried to make him change his mind before giving up when he saw Ohno’s determination. They would have to deal with Suzuka’s lawyer and to try to make it goes well if they didn’t want her to steal everything Ohno had. But whatever Suzuka would do, Ohno left the agency with happiness, starting to feel free for the first time in three years. It was the beginning of a new life and his only fear was to lose his son, he didn’t care about his money or career as long as he could see his son often.
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
“Where is he?” Suzuka snapped, making Nino jumped as he was leaving his apartment.
“Eh?”
“Don’t play the dumb one, I’m talking about Satoshi!”
Part 2