Beautiful Asshole (14/16)
Title: Beautiful asshole
Author: Matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto
Genre: Au, comedy, romance, m-preg and a bit of angst xD
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If I could own them, my life would be perfect xD
Summary: Jun Matsumoto is a beautiful and clever assistant. His career is reaching the top and he will soon become a CEO but the only problem is his boss, Sho Sakurai. As handsome and attractive as a Top model but also a beautiful asshole. How Jun will reach his dream while ignoring his lust for his boss?
A/N: A big kiss for my BabySho for helping me with my baka mistakes <3
Chapter 14:
Jun's pov:
Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?
You push and pull me
and I'm about to lose my mind
Is this just a waste of time
keep acting like you own me
I keep running, watch me walking out that door
I hear you behind me
Sho went to get the car while I checked us out at reception. With one final glance around the lobby, I tried to download every memory of the trip. When I stepped outside I saw Sho standing near the valet. My heart felt like a wild drum beneath my ribs. I was still reeling. I realized he'd given me so many chances of whether we could ever make it work. Apparently, his spine was stronger than mine.
I'm falling for you.
My stomach twisted deliciously. I suddenly put my hand on my mouth and ran to the toilets to empty my stomach. Shit, again. Why was I still throwing up? I felt so weird for several days, throwing up a lot, my mood changing as often as Gackt's girlfriends. I felt weak, as if I had a lack of energy. But maybe it was because I hadn't eaten for one day. I went to approach Sho but realized he was talking with Furukawa, a big client.
"Jun is sharp, he will go far." The man said. "Shu-san mentioned that Jun's got a scholarship. That's fantastic. Is he staying on at Sakurai company after he finishes?"
"Not sure yet. He's a great kid. Definitely needs some seasoning, though."
I lost my breath in a rush, as if it'd been pulled out by a vacuum. Sho had to be kidding. I knew, without Shun having to tell me, that I could have my pick of jobs when I finished. I'd worked at Sakurai Company for years, working my ass off to both do my job and get a graduate degree. I knew some of the accounts better than the people managing them. Sho knew this.
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
"Seasoning or no, I'd snatch him up in a beat." Furukawa chuckled.
"Who do you think trained him? No doubt he'll be just fine wherever he ends up. When he's ready."
He sounded nothing like either Sho Sakurai I knew. This wasn't the lover I'd just left a moment ago, grateful to and proud of me for capably stepping in for him. And this wasn't even the Beautiful asshole, begrudgingly parsing out praise. This was someone else entirely. Someone who called me 'kid' and acted like he's done me a favor.
I felt my face flame with anger and stumbled back into the hotel lobby, suddenly feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen, anywhere. Nausea came back but I managed to calm it down.
Seasoning? I did fine? He'd been my mentor? In what universe?
Do you love me?
We break up and back together
And I swore to myself never
Oh how you do me
You strip me of my honor
And I don't ever think I'm gonna
Break free of these mind games
All I'm trying to do is modify my plan
'Cause I can't contain you
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
I stared at the shoes of people moving in front of me as they came and left through the revolving lobby doors. Why did I feel like my stomach had dropped out, leaving nothing but a hole filled with acid?
I'd been in the business world long enough to know how it works. The people at the top don't get there by sharing credit. They get there through big promises, big claims and bigger egos.
I had always felt like he praised me against his will and there had been something satisfying about proving him wrong, about exceeding his expectations almost to spite him. But now we'd admitted our feelings had turned into something more, he wanted to rewrite history. He hadn't been a mentor to me, I hadn't needed him to be. He hadn't pushed me to succeed. He'd tried to get me to quit by being a bastard.
I'd fallen for him despite all of this, and now he was throwing me under the bus like some kind of shit.
My heart splintered into a thousand pieces.
"Baby?" I jumped, realizing Sho was next to me. "The car is ready. I thought we were meeting outside?"
I blinked, wiped my eye as if I had something in it and not as if I was about to break down in the lobby.
"Right." I stood, collected my things and looked up at him. "I forgot."
Of all the lies I'd ever told him, this was the worst, because he saw it and from the way his brows pulled together and he stepped closer, eyes anxious and searching, he had no idea why I felt I needed to lie about something like that.
"You okay, baby?"
I blinked. I'd loved it when he'd called me that twenty minutes ago but now it felt all wrong.
"Just tired."
Again, he knew I was lying but this time he didn't push it. He placed his hand on my lower back and led me out to the car.
Sho's pov:
I knew women could get moody out of the blue but not men.
I didn't feel like what was going on with Jun and he'd never been that kind of men anyway. I'd seen him mad before. Hell, I'd had seen every flavor of mad from him, pissed, irate, hateful, borderline violent.
I'd never seen him hurt.
He buried himself in documents on the short drive to the airport. He excused himself to check in with his father when we were waiting at our gate. On the plane, he fell asleep almost as soon as we were in our seats, ignoring my very clever requests to join the mile-high club. He woke up only long enough to decline lunch, even though I knew he hadn't eaten any breakfast. When he woke up as we began our descent, he stared out the window instead of looking at me.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
He didn't answer for what felt like forever and my heart started to race. I tried to figure out all of the moments I could have fucked up. Sex with Jun in bed. More sex with Jun. Orgasms for Jun. He had a lot of orgasms, to be honest. I didn't think it was that. Wake up, shower, basically profess my love. Hotel lobby, Furukawa-san, airport.
I paused. The conversation with Furukawa-san had left me feeling a little slimy. I'm not sure why I had acted like such a possessive jackass but there wasn't any denying that Jun had this effect on me. He'd been amazing at all our meetings but I would be damned if he would take a step down and work for a man like Furukawa when he finished his degree. He'd probably treat him like a piece of meat and stare at his ass all day.
"I heard what you said." His voice was so quiet it took me a moment to register that he'd said something and then, another beat to process it. My stomach dropped.
"What I said when?"
He smiled, turning to look at me finally, and fuck me: he was crying. I hated when he cried and mostly when he cried because of me.
"To Furukawa."
"I sounded possessive. I'm sorry."
"You sounded possessive..." He muttered, turning back to the window. "You sounded dismissive. You made me seem naive! I felt ridiculous!"
You keep acting like you own me
I can't control me
You said you never really wanted me back
Well maybe if that's a fact
May I suggest
A brand new plan of attack
And in defense of that you're hard to crack
You're way off track
I want you back, I want you gone
Maybe I'm sick of holding on
Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?
I put my hand on his arm, laughing a little. "Guys like Furukawa have egos. He likes to be seen like the big boss and to chase the best people in our domain."
"That's absurd. And you made me pass for a stupid intern."
"You're my intern." I blinked, confused.
"Right. Because you've cared all this time how my career progresses." A sharp laugh escaped his lips and he turned to me again.
"Of course I do."
"How would you know I need seasoning? You barely looked at my work before yesterday."
"Patently false." I shook my head, getting a little riled. "I know that because I've watched everything you do. I don't want to put pressure on you to do more than you can right now and that's why I'm maintaining control of the Furukawa account. I'm proud of your work."
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his seat. "You called me 'kid'."
"I did?" I searched my memory and realized he was right. "I guess I just didn't want him to see you as this bombshell businessman he could hire away and try to fuck."
"Jesus, Sho! You are such an asshole! Maybe he wanted to hire me because I can do the job well!"
"I apologize. I'm acting like a possessive boyfriend."
"The possessive boyfriend thing isn't new to me. It's that you're acting like you did me a favor. It's how condescending you're being. I'm not sure now is the best time to engage in more typical boss-intern interactions."
"I told you I think you are doing an amazing job."
He glared at me, his face turning red. "You never would have said that before. You would have said, 'Good. Back to work.' That's it. And to Furukawa, you acted like you have me under your thumb. Before you would have pretended you didn't even know me."
"Do we really need to discuss why I was an asshole before? You weren't exactly Little Miss Sunshine yourself. And why is now the time to hash this out?"
"This isn't about you being an asshole before. It's about how you're being now. You're compensating. This is exactly why you don't fuck your boss. You were a fine boss before... You let me do my things and you did yours. Now, you're the touchy-feely mentor who calls me 'kid' to the guy we work with. Unbelievable."
"Jun..."
"I can deal with you being a giant dick, Sho. I'm used to it, I expect it. It's how we work. Because beneath all the huffing and door slamming, I knew you respected me. But how you were today... It puts a line there that wasn't there before..." He shook his head, glanced back out the window.
"I think you're overreacting."
"Maybe." He said, leaning down to dig his phone out of his pocket. "But I've worked my ass off to get where I am...am I risking all that?"
"We can do both, Jun. For a few months, we can work together and be together. This? What's happening today? Is called growing pains."
"I'm not sure." He said, blinking away and looking past me. "I'm just trying to do the smart thing, Sho. I never questioned myself now. After everything I've worked for."
The plane landed with a jolt and even still it didn't rattle me as much as what he said. I had led discussions with the heads of some of the largest finance departments in the world. I had taken on executives who thought they could squash me. I could fight with this man until the world ended and feel like more of a man with every word. But right then, I couldn't find a single thing to say.
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
To say I couldn't sleep that night would be an understatement. I could barely even lie down. Every flat surface seemed to have his imprint and it didn't matter that he'd never been to my place. The mere fact that we talked about it and that I'd planned for him to come here for our first night, made his ghost as good as permanent.
I called him, he didn't answer. Granted, it was at three in the morning but I knew he wasn't sleeping either. His silence was worsened by the fact that I knew he felt what I felt. I knew he was in just as deep as I was. But he thought he shouldn't be.
Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.
****
Jun's pov:
"Congratulation, sir, you're pregnant."
Air left my lungs when the doctor turned toward me with a smile.
"What?!"
"One month. Can you see the little blip here?" The woman pointed the screen.
"Sensei, it's not possible, I... I have never showed any sign and none man got pregnant in my family." I stammered, on the edge of panic.
"Maybe the signs were too discreet with you and even if none man gave birth in your family, it doesn't mean you can't get pregnant. It does explain your switch-moods and why you throw up every day."
"Can I abort?"
"I guess this pregnancy isn't welcome?"
"Well... It's complicated. The father... The father and I are not in good terms actually and we are dating for only a few weeks."
"You still have two months left to decide. It's none of my business but you should think about it and talk to the father. It could be your only pregnancy." The woman said kindly.
"I'll think about it." I nodded.
"Take the decision for yourself and don't listen to the jealous persons who might advise you to abort. It's your and the other father's baby. Take the decision together." She stroked my flat stomach with a soft smile.
"Thank you, sensei." I stood up and took my bag, still lost in my thoughts.
I went home and collapsed on my bed. Deep inside me, I had known I was pregnant. I threw up too much and was on the verge of tears all the time. What could I do?
"It's a big mess, Aka-chan, ne?" I stroked my belly softly. Okay, I would have my degree in one month but the problem came from the father. Sho. He was still my boss and our relationship was recent. Instable. What people would think? That I had reached the peak by fucking the boss? And Sho's family? They would kill us and would never accept this baby. I shouldn't even think about it and should abort but was I able to kill this baby? A baby from Sho. The man I was in love with. And how would I face Sho without telling him I was holding his child?
Shit. I fucked up!
****
"Jun?" Ohno blinked when he saw me in front of his door.
"Satoshi... I need you." I sobbed.
"C'mon." Ohno wrapped my waist and led me inside. "What's wrong?" My best friend asked when we sat on his sofa.
"I'm pregnant."
"Oh." Ohno simply said. Was I the only one surprised by this fact?!
"You don't seem surprised?"
"Well, not really. I always felt you would be one of those men able to give birth." Ohno shrugged.
"You don't ask me who the father is?"
"Jun, I know you for 15 years and I know you love children and want to have one. If you are here, I guess it's not really because of the pregnancy itself but because of the father of the child."
"Yes." I nodded. He knew me too well. Always silent but always attentive to the others. Satoshi was this kind of person.
"It's Sakurai, ne?"
"How..."
"Well, Kazu told me a lot about your beautiful boss. The asshole, ne? I have always thought you two were attracted to each other. You can't hate someone as much as you two do without being in love. It needs too much time to hate someone, it almost always hides a deep love."
"Maybe... The fact is... We were only fucking but..."
"It became more than just sex." Ohno completed.
"Yes. He told me he was falling for me. And I love him. But a child... He is my boss and his family will never approve."
"They love you, no?"
"Yes but not as their son's lover. Sato, what can I do?"
"Do you want this baby?"
"I don't know."
"You know what you want, Jun." Ohno smiled softly.
"But my relationship with Sho is too complicated. I can't have a baby with him."
"Then, keep the baby and don't tell him if you can't have it with him."
"Isn't it horrible not to tell him I am holding his child?"
"If you tell him, Jun, he will want it. Except if he doesn't want a child now and with you. But you will certainly have to raise the baby with him. I think it would be the best but..."
"I don't want to spoil my career. I don't want to be the bitch everybody will point at, saying I reached the peak because I fucked my boss. I worked too hard to lose my credibility."
"Then, you abort or you leave Sakurai."
"I don't know if I'm able to abort, Satoshi. This baby... It's from Sho. I already love this baby. I can't kill it. I can't kill Sho's child." I lowered my head in sadness.
"I would prefer you to tell Sakurai but if you decided to hide him the truth, Kazu and I will be here for you. We will help you." Satoshi patted my shoulder. I sighed, stroking my stomach.
"I'll keep it." I whispered. "I'll keep this child but will leave Sho. He can't know. Never."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'll protect my baby and my career." I stroked my belly lovingly, hating this decision.
I hadn't the choice. I needed to be strong.
To be continued...
A/N: Please, don't kill me TT I know Jun's reaction isn't... is a bit horrible but he is scared and doesn't trust completely Sho about their relationship... He is scared to lose his job, his credibility when he has worked so hard to become what he is today... So, poor Sho won't know for the pregnancy xD for the moment and Ohchan and Nino will help Jun a lot though, they would prefer if Jun told Sho the truth... aaahhhh it's a big mess but let's see how Sho will react xD see you next week and comments are <3
The song is from Darren Hayes
Author: Matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto
Genre: Au, comedy, romance, m-preg and a bit of angst xD
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If I could own them, my life would be perfect xD
Summary: Jun Matsumoto is a beautiful and clever assistant. His career is reaching the top and he will soon become a CEO but the only problem is his boss, Sho Sakurai. As handsome and attractive as a Top model but also a beautiful asshole. How Jun will reach his dream while ignoring his lust for his boss?
A/N: A big kiss for my BabySho for helping me with my baka mistakes <3
Chapter 14:
Jun's pov:
Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?
You push and pull me
and I'm about to lose my mind
Is this just a waste of time
keep acting like you own me
I keep running, watch me walking out that door
I hear you behind me
Sho went to get the car while I checked us out at reception. With one final glance around the lobby, I tried to download every memory of the trip. When I stepped outside I saw Sho standing near the valet. My heart felt like a wild drum beneath my ribs. I was still reeling. I realized he'd given me so many chances of whether we could ever make it work. Apparently, his spine was stronger than mine.
I'm falling for you.
My stomach twisted deliciously. I suddenly put my hand on my mouth and ran to the toilets to empty my stomach. Shit, again. Why was I still throwing up? I felt so weird for several days, throwing up a lot, my mood changing as often as Gackt's girlfriends. I felt weak, as if I had a lack of energy. But maybe it was because I hadn't eaten for one day. I went to approach Sho but realized he was talking with Furukawa, a big client.
"Jun is sharp, he will go far." The man said. "Shu-san mentioned that Jun's got a scholarship. That's fantastic. Is he staying on at Sakurai company after he finishes?"
"Not sure yet. He's a great kid. Definitely needs some seasoning, though."
I lost my breath in a rush, as if it'd been pulled out by a vacuum. Sho had to be kidding. I knew, without Shun having to tell me, that I could have my pick of jobs when I finished. I'd worked at Sakurai Company for years, working my ass off to both do my job and get a graduate degree. I knew some of the accounts better than the people managing them. Sho knew this.
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
"Seasoning or no, I'd snatch him up in a beat." Furukawa chuckled.
"Who do you think trained him? No doubt he'll be just fine wherever he ends up. When he's ready."
He sounded nothing like either Sho Sakurai I knew. This wasn't the lover I'd just left a moment ago, grateful to and proud of me for capably stepping in for him. And this wasn't even the Beautiful asshole, begrudgingly parsing out praise. This was someone else entirely. Someone who called me 'kid' and acted like he's done me a favor.
I felt my face flame with anger and stumbled back into the hotel lobby, suddenly feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen, anywhere. Nausea came back but I managed to calm it down.
Seasoning? I did fine? He'd been my mentor? In what universe?
Do you love me?
We break up and back together
And I swore to myself never
Oh how you do me
You strip me of my honor
And I don't ever think I'm gonna
Break free of these mind games
All I'm trying to do is modify my plan
'Cause I can't contain you
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
I stared at the shoes of people moving in front of me as they came and left through the revolving lobby doors. Why did I feel like my stomach had dropped out, leaving nothing but a hole filled with acid?
I'd been in the business world long enough to know how it works. The people at the top don't get there by sharing credit. They get there through big promises, big claims and bigger egos.
I had always felt like he praised me against his will and there had been something satisfying about proving him wrong, about exceeding his expectations almost to spite him. But now we'd admitted our feelings had turned into something more, he wanted to rewrite history. He hadn't been a mentor to me, I hadn't needed him to be. He hadn't pushed me to succeed. He'd tried to get me to quit by being a bastard.
I'd fallen for him despite all of this, and now he was throwing me under the bus like some kind of shit.
My heart splintered into a thousand pieces.
"Baby?" I jumped, realizing Sho was next to me. "The car is ready. I thought we were meeting outside?"
I blinked, wiped my eye as if I had something in it and not as if I was about to break down in the lobby.
"Right." I stood, collected my things and looked up at him. "I forgot."
Of all the lies I'd ever told him, this was the worst, because he saw it and from the way his brows pulled together and he stepped closer, eyes anxious and searching, he had no idea why I felt I needed to lie about something like that.
"You okay, baby?"
I blinked. I'd loved it when he'd called me that twenty minutes ago but now it felt all wrong.
"Just tired."
Again, he knew I was lying but this time he didn't push it. He placed his hand on my lower back and led me out to the car.
Sho's pov:
I knew women could get moody out of the blue but not men.
I didn't feel like what was going on with Jun and he'd never been that kind of men anyway. I'd seen him mad before. Hell, I'd had seen every flavor of mad from him, pissed, irate, hateful, borderline violent.
I'd never seen him hurt.
He buried himself in documents on the short drive to the airport. He excused himself to check in with his father when we were waiting at our gate. On the plane, he fell asleep almost as soon as we were in our seats, ignoring my very clever requests to join the mile-high club. He woke up only long enough to decline lunch, even though I knew he hadn't eaten any breakfast. When he woke up as we began our descent, he stared out the window instead of looking at me.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
He didn't answer for what felt like forever and my heart started to race. I tried to figure out all of the moments I could have fucked up. Sex with Jun in bed. More sex with Jun. Orgasms for Jun. He had a lot of orgasms, to be honest. I didn't think it was that. Wake up, shower, basically profess my love. Hotel lobby, Furukawa-san, airport.
I paused. The conversation with Furukawa-san had left me feeling a little slimy. I'm not sure why I had acted like such a possessive jackass but there wasn't any denying that Jun had this effect on me. He'd been amazing at all our meetings but I would be damned if he would take a step down and work for a man like Furukawa when he finished his degree. He'd probably treat him like a piece of meat and stare at his ass all day.
"I heard what you said." His voice was so quiet it took me a moment to register that he'd said something and then, another beat to process it. My stomach dropped.
"What I said when?"
He smiled, turning to look at me finally, and fuck me: he was crying. I hated when he cried and mostly when he cried because of me.
"To Furukawa."
"I sounded possessive. I'm sorry."
"You sounded possessive..." He muttered, turning back to the window. "You sounded dismissive. You made me seem naive! I felt ridiculous!"
You keep acting like you own me
I can't control me
You said you never really wanted me back
Well maybe if that's a fact
May I suggest
A brand new plan of attack
And in defense of that you're hard to crack
You're way off track
I want you back, I want you gone
Maybe I'm sick of holding on
Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?
I put my hand on his arm, laughing a little. "Guys like Furukawa have egos. He likes to be seen like the big boss and to chase the best people in our domain."
"That's absurd. And you made me pass for a stupid intern."
"You're my intern." I blinked, confused.
"Right. Because you've cared all this time how my career progresses." A sharp laugh escaped his lips and he turned to me again.
"Of course I do."
"How would you know I need seasoning? You barely looked at my work before yesterday."
"Patently false." I shook my head, getting a little riled. "I know that because I've watched everything you do. I don't want to put pressure on you to do more than you can right now and that's why I'm maintaining control of the Furukawa account. I'm proud of your work."
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his seat. "You called me 'kid'."
"I did?" I searched my memory and realized he was right. "I guess I just didn't want him to see you as this bombshell businessman he could hire away and try to fuck."
"Jesus, Sho! You are such an asshole! Maybe he wanted to hire me because I can do the job well!"
"I apologize. I'm acting like a possessive boyfriend."
"The possessive boyfriend thing isn't new to me. It's that you're acting like you did me a favor. It's how condescending you're being. I'm not sure now is the best time to engage in more typical boss-intern interactions."
"I told you I think you are doing an amazing job."
He glared at me, his face turning red. "You never would have said that before. You would have said, 'Good. Back to work.' That's it. And to Furukawa, you acted like you have me under your thumb. Before you would have pretended you didn't even know me."
"Do we really need to discuss why I was an asshole before? You weren't exactly Little Miss Sunshine yourself. And why is now the time to hash this out?"
"This isn't about you being an asshole before. It's about how you're being now. You're compensating. This is exactly why you don't fuck your boss. You were a fine boss before... You let me do my things and you did yours. Now, you're the touchy-feely mentor who calls me 'kid' to the guy we work with. Unbelievable."
"Jun..."
"I can deal with you being a giant dick, Sho. I'm used to it, I expect it. It's how we work. Because beneath all the huffing and door slamming, I knew you respected me. But how you were today... It puts a line there that wasn't there before..." He shook his head, glanced back out the window.
"I think you're overreacting."
"Maybe." He said, leaning down to dig his phone out of his pocket. "But I've worked my ass off to get where I am...am I risking all that?"
"We can do both, Jun. For a few months, we can work together and be together. This? What's happening today? Is called growing pains."
"I'm not sure." He said, blinking away and looking past me. "I'm just trying to do the smart thing, Sho. I never questioned myself now. After everything I've worked for."
The plane landed with a jolt and even still it didn't rattle me as much as what he said. I had led discussions with the heads of some of the largest finance departments in the world. I had taken on executives who thought they could squash me. I could fight with this man until the world ended and feel like more of a man with every word. But right then, I couldn't find a single thing to say.
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
To say I couldn't sleep that night would be an understatement. I could barely even lie down. Every flat surface seemed to have his imprint and it didn't matter that he'd never been to my place. The mere fact that we talked about it and that I'd planned for him to come here for our first night, made his ghost as good as permanent.
I called him, he didn't answer. Granted, it was at three in the morning but I knew he wasn't sleeping either. His silence was worsened by the fact that I knew he felt what I felt. I knew he was in just as deep as I was. But he thought he shouldn't be.
Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.
****
Jun's pov:
"Congratulation, sir, you're pregnant."
Air left my lungs when the doctor turned toward me with a smile.
"What?!"
"One month. Can you see the little blip here?" The woman pointed the screen.
"Sensei, it's not possible, I... I have never showed any sign and none man got pregnant in my family." I stammered, on the edge of panic.
"Maybe the signs were too discreet with you and even if none man gave birth in your family, it doesn't mean you can't get pregnant. It does explain your switch-moods and why you throw up every day."
"Can I abort?"
"I guess this pregnancy isn't welcome?"
"Well... It's complicated. The father... The father and I are not in good terms actually and we are dating for only a few weeks."
"You still have two months left to decide. It's none of my business but you should think about it and talk to the father. It could be your only pregnancy." The woman said kindly.
"I'll think about it." I nodded.
"Take the decision for yourself and don't listen to the jealous persons who might advise you to abort. It's your and the other father's baby. Take the decision together." She stroked my flat stomach with a soft smile.
"Thank you, sensei." I stood up and took my bag, still lost in my thoughts.
I went home and collapsed on my bed. Deep inside me, I had known I was pregnant. I threw up too much and was on the verge of tears all the time. What could I do?
"It's a big mess, Aka-chan, ne?" I stroked my belly softly. Okay, I would have my degree in one month but the problem came from the father. Sho. He was still my boss and our relationship was recent. Instable. What people would think? That I had reached the peak by fucking the boss? And Sho's family? They would kill us and would never accept this baby. I shouldn't even think about it and should abort but was I able to kill this baby? A baby from Sho. The man I was in love with. And how would I face Sho without telling him I was holding his child?
Shit. I fucked up!
****
"Jun?" Ohno blinked when he saw me in front of his door.
"Satoshi... I need you." I sobbed.
"C'mon." Ohno wrapped my waist and led me inside. "What's wrong?" My best friend asked when we sat on his sofa.
"I'm pregnant."
"Oh." Ohno simply said. Was I the only one surprised by this fact?!
"You don't seem surprised?"
"Well, not really. I always felt you would be one of those men able to give birth." Ohno shrugged.
"You don't ask me who the father is?"
"Jun, I know you for 15 years and I know you love children and want to have one. If you are here, I guess it's not really because of the pregnancy itself but because of the father of the child."
"Yes." I nodded. He knew me too well. Always silent but always attentive to the others. Satoshi was this kind of person.
"It's Sakurai, ne?"
"How..."
"Well, Kazu told me a lot about your beautiful boss. The asshole, ne? I have always thought you two were attracted to each other. You can't hate someone as much as you two do without being in love. It needs too much time to hate someone, it almost always hides a deep love."
"Maybe... The fact is... We were only fucking but..."
"It became more than just sex." Ohno completed.
"Yes. He told me he was falling for me. And I love him. But a child... He is my boss and his family will never approve."
"They love you, no?"
"Yes but not as their son's lover. Sato, what can I do?"
"Do you want this baby?"
"I don't know."
"You know what you want, Jun." Ohno smiled softly.
"But my relationship with Sho is too complicated. I can't have a baby with him."
"Then, keep the baby and don't tell him if you can't have it with him."
"Isn't it horrible not to tell him I am holding his child?"
"If you tell him, Jun, he will want it. Except if he doesn't want a child now and with you. But you will certainly have to raise the baby with him. I think it would be the best but..."
"I don't want to spoil my career. I don't want to be the bitch everybody will point at, saying I reached the peak because I fucked my boss. I worked too hard to lose my credibility."
"Then, you abort or you leave Sakurai."
"I don't know if I'm able to abort, Satoshi. This baby... It's from Sho. I already love this baby. I can't kill it. I can't kill Sho's child." I lowered my head in sadness.
"I would prefer you to tell Sakurai but if you decided to hide him the truth, Kazu and I will be here for you. We will help you." Satoshi patted my shoulder. I sighed, stroking my stomach.
"I'll keep it." I whispered. "I'll keep this child but will leave Sho. He can't know. Never."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'll protect my baby and my career." I stroked my belly lovingly, hating this decision.
I hadn't the choice. I needed to be strong.
To be continued...
A/N: Please, don't kill me TT I know Jun's reaction isn't... is a bit horrible but he is scared and doesn't trust completely Sho about their relationship... He is scared to lose his job, his credibility when he has worked so hard to become what he is today... So, poor Sho won't know for the pregnancy xD for the moment and Ohchan and Nino will help Jun a lot though, they would prefer if Jun told Sho the truth... aaahhhh it's a big mess but let's see how Sho will react xD see you next week and comments are <3
The song is from Darren Hayes