A precious link (13/15)
Title: A Precious Link
Author: MatsuAurore
Beta: Sonvidel <3
Pairing: Sakuraiba, Sakumoto (brothers), Matsumiya
Genre: Au, drama, angst, romance
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Aiba belongs to Sho :P
Summary: Sho, a famous singer, is always acting cold and distant with anyone trying to approach him. One day, his manager discovers that the young man is hiding a painful secret that is eating him. After making him meet Aiba, a strange horse rancher, Sho will soon realize that maybe this mysterious man is the only one able to understand his scars and create a link stronger than anything.
Chapter 13:
I had always fought, no matter what.
I had fought against everything, forcing my fate and
imposing my luck but today, it was different.
I had a stronger enemy to fight:
Myself. The ultimate enemy. The most dangerous...
"Sho-chan, I..." Aiba blinked in surprise.
"I... I want to show you how much our relationship means to me... And I want to thank you..." Sho blushed deeply.
"You don't have to. Seeing you on a horse was already enough for me to be happy."
"You don't understand, Masaki." Sho cupped his lover's face. "I'm paralyzed. Maybe not forever but for the moment, I can only barely raise my knees..."
"We've just made love if you don't remember and I loved it." Aiba cut the rapper off with a smile.
"Me too but... I don't know how to explain that. We're going through lots of hard things that not many couples do. You've been amazing with me these last months and I trust you more than anyone beside Jun. But... I want to show you how much I love you and giving myself to you is a proof of that. I've never been on bottom except for my first time because it's something...it has always made me remember my...rape..." A tear rolled down Sho's cheek.
"Sho, I..."
"Let me finish... It's an act that I can't allow to anyone. It's... For me, it's a big step and you are the one who can do it perfectly. It's easy to top. I've done it a lot in eight years, but being on bottom is very important. There is only one person I trust and love more than anything can do that. And that person is you... I don't know if you get it. I'm not very good when it comes to talking about my feelings but..."
"Sho." Aiba put his hand over his lover's mouth with shining eyes. "You're wrong. You are good at explaining your feelings. Thank you for trusting me, but are you sure?"
"Yes. You will be the first one since my rape, but it will also help me to move on and forget the past. How can we build a future if we keep looking at the past? I want you to erase this bad memory." Sho smiled softly.
"I'll be soft. If it's too much, tell me. Let me know if I hurt you or you can't support it and I'll stop."
"How could you hurt me, Masa?" Sho stroked his lover's cheek. "You're perfect and will be perfect as always."
Aiba smiled and kissed his lover deeply, spreading his legs to kneel between it. The horse lover took some lube and drew a path on Sho's chest to his groin, kissing the skin softly.
"I love this tattoo. It's so sexy." Aiba whispered, licking the kanji and making Sho moan. The younger reached the already hard length and swallowed the tip while slipping the first finger in his lover who gasped a bit.
"It's okay. Go on." Sho reassured his boyfriend who nodded and played with the tip, his tongue licking the sensitive spot skillfully. Aiba sucked hard before inserting another finger. Sho was amazingly tight, the sign he really had never let anyone take him since his rape. Aiba realized how much Sho loved and trusted him to let him take the lead. Nobody had ever raped him, but he guessed you couldn't have a normal sex life right after. He had heard that some people refused any touch. Others, like Sho, could start to become addicted to sex and always took the lead, sometimes even becoming rough. His boyfriend was accepting to let him do everything he wanted, to touch this so sensitive part of himself. Aiba smiled happily. No one had ever showed him a proof of love like this one before. Not even Sayuki. Sho thought he was bad with words but he was incredible with acts of love. Aiba felt proud and lucky to own the heart of this amazing man.
"I'm going to take you." Aiba said when Sho moaned at his third finger.
"Okay..."
"Relax, I'll go slowly." Aiba whispered and withdrew his fingers to push the head of his cock. The horse lover moaned at the amazing tightness but controlled himself and entered very slowly not to hurt or scare his boyfriend. "I'm completely in." Aiba panted after a while. Sho took a deep breath to relax his muscles. It was Masaki. It was his lover who was inside him and not his bastard of father.
"Please... talk to me..." Sho asked with a pleading voice. "I need your voice..."
"It's me, Sho-chan. It's Masaki..." Aiba whispered, moving slowly. "It's me and I love you. I will never hurt you... Don't be scared..."
"Kiss me..." Sho implored. Aiba pressed their mouths together, letting Sho lead the kiss while accelerating his moves a bit. Soon, Sho screamed and Aiba grinned. He had found it.
"It's me, Sho... I won't hurt you... I love you." Aiba kept repeating.
"Masa... Masa... Love you... Harder..." Sho panted.
Aiba kissed the rapper's neck and moved harder and faster, hitting the magical spot again and again. Sho moaned loudly and tried to raise one of his legs that Aiba grabbed to put it around his waist. Sho gave all his will and strength, managing to keep his leg around Aiba who pressed their bodies even more if it was possible. Sho realized how close they were right now. It was more than ever and it felt amazing to feel loved and be loved like that. Tears rolled down his cheeks and between his moans. Sho raised his second leg to wrap Aiba's waist completely. He wouldn't keep the position very long but he tried to hold Aiba close to him as much as possible.
"Masa..." Sho kissed Aiba who was moaning as much as him and thrusting deeply.
"So close..." The horse lover gasped, his hand taking Sho's member to pump it with his moves.
"Shit..." Sho swore as his body arched and his semen spread between their stomachs. The clenching walls made Aiba whine in pure pleasure and release some seconds later. Out of breath, Masaki collapsed on his lover, kissing him endlessly.
"Thank you for trusting me."
"Thank you for loving me," Sho replied, hugging Aiba tightly.
"Are you okay?"
"More than okay. I would have never guessed it was so good to be taken. I just remembered the pain." Sho smiled sadly.
"It's always like that when you do it with someone you love."
"I'm exhausted."
"How are your legs?" Aiba asked worriedly, raising his body to stroke the paralyzed legs softly.
"Hurt. I can't raise them. They feel heavy."
"You did a lot today, it's normal. Wrapping my waist with your legs was incredible."
"I wanted to hold you close."
"I'm happy you did it. Let's sleep, we have to get up early tomorrow." Aiba laid his head on Sho's chest who hugged him, his nose pressed in the younger's silky hair.
****
"Wonderful, Sakurai-san!" Heroki exclaimed when Sho finished his course.
The rapper grinned happily, collapsing on the wheelchair that Aiba had brought. After 10 painful minutes, Sho had managed to finish his exercise with the bars. He still couldn't stand on his legs alone, but with help, he could move it slowly to walk.
"I'm dead tired," Sho whined.
"It's normal but you have made a lot of progress. If you continue, you will be able to walk alone in the end of the year."
"Not before?" Sho gasped.
"It depends of your will and body. Maybe in six months it will be over or maybe not." Heroki smiled.
"Sho-chan rode yesterday," Aiba stated proudly.
"Really? That's great!"
"It wasn't that incredible." Sho blushed.
"It is. Riding will help you a lot in your re-education. I'll see you tomorrow then." Heroki bowed.
"Can you go without me, I have a question to ask to sensei?" Aiba asked his lover.
"Hun." Sho nodded and left the room.
"So tell me, what happened?" Heroki smiled.
"We went to Kobayashi's stables and Sho met Elena. They have talked a lot and after, she proposed him to ride her horse. Sho-chan was amazing. He managed to lead the horse and even pressed his legs a bit." Aiba grinned.
"I knew meeting her would help him. She understands him better than anyone else after all. But with your grin and Sakurai-kun's amazing progress, I guess it's not just that. Something good happened, ne?"
"Well..." Aiba blushed. "Sho-chan and I have made love for the first time since the accident."
"Hontou?! I understand why he was smiling so brightly then. It's wonderful and very important to tell him your feelings too."
"Yes. I told him how beautiful he was in my eyes despite his handicap. Sho thought not being able to walk reduced him as a man."
"Because he needs to be carried sometimes?" Heroki nodded.
"Yes and because he can't move like he wants to when we make love."
"I see. It's very difficult not to be ashamed when your state imposes that to yourself. Yesterday was the first big step. Now he is ready to fight. Just be careful. Like any normal patient, his mood will sometimes get down and he will need help."
"I know, but I'm here for him. We are stronger together."
"I can see that. Keep helping him. He did great today." Heroki shook Aiba's hand with a smile.
The young man grinned and left the room to find Sho outside next to the door with grateful eyes.
"It's bad to listen to private conversations, little brat." Aiba pouted.
"And it's bad to talk about your lover behind his back mostly when it's to talk about your sex life," Sho replied.
"Well... I couldn't help it... I was so proud of you..." Aiba blushed.
"I know. Thank you." Sho linked their fingers with a loving smile.
"Let's go. We have to eat and Spirit is waiting for you," Aiba exclaimed.
"How is he?"
"Mmm... Scared... But don't worry, you will be able to reassure him."
***
What Sho didn't expect was the difficulties he would go through with Spirit.
As they reached Spirit's box, a bad feeling won over Sho. The young rapper opened the door and gasped when he saw his horse. Spirit was laying in a corner, shivering in fear.
"Spirit..." The horse neighed in fear and stood up to move back even more. "What's happening? He has lost weight." Sho frowned.
"We didn't want to tell you until you were better. After the accident, Spirit started to panic again. He doesn't let anybody approach him and barely eats. He is very scared."
"How can I do anything if he is also afraid of me?!" Sho snapped.
"Because you were close to him. He associates you to the accident, but he also trusted you a lot. I think you are the only one able to do something."
"I'm still paralyzed, it's too dangerous!"
"I will help you! Please, Sho. Don't leave him alone! He needs someone like you did when you came here. Help him. He is traumatized," Aiba implored.
"But how? I can't even use the join-up as I can't walk!"
"We will use something else. Please, I promise I will help you."
"Okay," Sho sighed.
"Thank you." Aiba hugged his lover happily.
"But how?"
"You have to find a way by yourself. Think about something and I'm sure it will work."
Sho sighed in despair but decided to do it. The rapper started to do some research by reading Aiba's mother's books. Sho discovered with pleasure how amazing this woman was, working for hours on methods to appease the horses or heal their trauma. She used many different methods: join-up, massages, essential oils... Everything depended of the horse and the trauma. After lots of hours, Sho finally found what would maybe work with Spirit.
"What are you going to do?" Aiba asked the next day.
"You'll see. I need you to put Spirit in the small manège." Sho smiled mysteriously.
The rapper took some carrots and followed Aiba toward the stables. With Nino and Jun's help, they managed to bring Spirit in the smaller manège of the ranch with difficulty. Spirit was panicked and tried to run away several times, rearing up. At the second they released him, the horse ran away from them. The animal neighed in fear and stopped in a corner, its chest raising up and down very quickly.
Sho entered the manège and stopped, taking a carrot to eat it. Spirit's ears moved curiously but the horse stayed away.
For half of the day Sho didn't move. He read or eat and ignored Spirit. When Spirit had started to calm down a bit, though he didn't seem ready to move.
When the sun disappeared, Sho left the manège to go into the house.
"Do you really think it will work?" Jun asked as they were all eating.
"I don't know. It's a method Masaki's mother used one day on a horse that didn't let anybody approach it," Sho explained, smiling when Aiba took his hand with a warm smile.
"It will work."
For one week, Sho kept doing the same thing. He stayed with Spirit all day to get him used to his presence until one day, the horse started to react. Sho was eating an apple when Spirit made a step toward him. The rapper smiled but ignored the horse, still eating. After ten minutes of approaching a bit, Spirit stopped at two meters and with a grin, Sho put the apple on the ground and moved back. In one second, Spirit had approached and ate the apple.
"Good boy," Sho praised.
Step by step, Spirit started to approach the rapper a bit more everyday. It was just a little bit, but the horse finally managed to stop next to Sho.
"Want it?" Sho held out the carrot in his hand. Spirit stared at him with his smart eyes and lowered his head to take the carrot in Sho's hand. The rapper grinned proudly and stroked the horse's neck softly. "You too. You're not alone."
To be continued...
A/N: It was so weird for me to put Aiba on top of Sho xD I just can see Jun topping Sho sometimes xD But it was Sho's way to prove his love, trust andto thank Aiba for what he did for him :) and it was also a big step to forget his rape and the harm his father did to him :) our dear singer is making lots of progresses but things can't be that easy, ne? XD See you soon for the next chapter, comments are always <3
Author: MatsuAurore
Beta: Sonvidel <3
Pairing: Sakuraiba, Sakumoto (brothers), Matsumiya
Genre: Au, drama, angst, romance
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Aiba belongs to Sho :P
Summary: Sho, a famous singer, is always acting cold and distant with anyone trying to approach him. One day, his manager discovers that the young man is hiding a painful secret that is eating him. After making him meet Aiba, a strange horse rancher, Sho will soon realize that maybe this mysterious man is the only one able to understand his scars and create a link stronger than anything.
Chapter 13:
I had always fought, no matter what.
I had fought against everything, forcing my fate and
imposing my luck but today, it was different.
I had a stronger enemy to fight:
Myself. The ultimate enemy. The most dangerous...
"Sho-chan, I..." Aiba blinked in surprise.
"I... I want to show you how much our relationship means to me... And I want to thank you..." Sho blushed deeply.
"You don't have to. Seeing you on a horse was already enough for me to be happy."
"You don't understand, Masaki." Sho cupped his lover's face. "I'm paralyzed. Maybe not forever but for the moment, I can only barely raise my knees..."
"We've just made love if you don't remember and I loved it." Aiba cut the rapper off with a smile.
"Me too but... I don't know how to explain that. We're going through lots of hard things that not many couples do. You've been amazing with me these last months and I trust you more than anyone beside Jun. But... I want to show you how much I love you and giving myself to you is a proof of that. I've never been on bottom except for my first time because it's something...it has always made me remember my...rape..." A tear rolled down Sho's cheek.
"Sho, I..."
"Let me finish... It's an act that I can't allow to anyone. It's... For me, it's a big step and you are the one who can do it perfectly. It's easy to top. I've done it a lot in eight years, but being on bottom is very important. There is only one person I trust and love more than anything can do that. And that person is you... I don't know if you get it. I'm not very good when it comes to talking about my feelings but..."
"Sho." Aiba put his hand over his lover's mouth with shining eyes. "You're wrong. You are good at explaining your feelings. Thank you for trusting me, but are you sure?"
"Yes. You will be the first one since my rape, but it will also help me to move on and forget the past. How can we build a future if we keep looking at the past? I want you to erase this bad memory." Sho smiled softly.
"I'll be soft. If it's too much, tell me. Let me know if I hurt you or you can't support it and I'll stop."
"How could you hurt me, Masa?" Sho stroked his lover's cheek. "You're perfect and will be perfect as always."
Aiba smiled and kissed his lover deeply, spreading his legs to kneel between it. The horse lover took some lube and drew a path on Sho's chest to his groin, kissing the skin softly.
"I love this tattoo. It's so sexy." Aiba whispered, licking the kanji and making Sho moan. The younger reached the already hard length and swallowed the tip while slipping the first finger in his lover who gasped a bit.
"It's okay. Go on." Sho reassured his boyfriend who nodded and played with the tip, his tongue licking the sensitive spot skillfully. Aiba sucked hard before inserting another finger. Sho was amazingly tight, the sign he really had never let anyone take him since his rape. Aiba realized how much Sho loved and trusted him to let him take the lead. Nobody had ever raped him, but he guessed you couldn't have a normal sex life right after. He had heard that some people refused any touch. Others, like Sho, could start to become addicted to sex and always took the lead, sometimes even becoming rough. His boyfriend was accepting to let him do everything he wanted, to touch this so sensitive part of himself. Aiba smiled happily. No one had ever showed him a proof of love like this one before. Not even Sayuki. Sho thought he was bad with words but he was incredible with acts of love. Aiba felt proud and lucky to own the heart of this amazing man.
"I'm going to take you." Aiba said when Sho moaned at his third finger.
"Okay..."
"Relax, I'll go slowly." Aiba whispered and withdrew his fingers to push the head of his cock. The horse lover moaned at the amazing tightness but controlled himself and entered very slowly not to hurt or scare his boyfriend. "I'm completely in." Aiba panted after a while. Sho took a deep breath to relax his muscles. It was Masaki. It was his lover who was inside him and not his bastard of father.
"Please... talk to me..." Sho asked with a pleading voice. "I need your voice..."
"It's me, Sho-chan. It's Masaki..." Aiba whispered, moving slowly. "It's me and I love you. I will never hurt you... Don't be scared..."
"Kiss me..." Sho implored. Aiba pressed their mouths together, letting Sho lead the kiss while accelerating his moves a bit. Soon, Sho screamed and Aiba grinned. He had found it.
"It's me, Sho... I won't hurt you... I love you." Aiba kept repeating.
"Masa... Masa... Love you... Harder..." Sho panted.
Aiba kissed the rapper's neck and moved harder and faster, hitting the magical spot again and again. Sho moaned loudly and tried to raise one of his legs that Aiba grabbed to put it around his waist. Sho gave all his will and strength, managing to keep his leg around Aiba who pressed their bodies even more if it was possible. Sho realized how close they were right now. It was more than ever and it felt amazing to feel loved and be loved like that. Tears rolled down his cheeks and between his moans. Sho raised his second leg to wrap Aiba's waist completely. He wouldn't keep the position very long but he tried to hold Aiba close to him as much as possible.
"Masa..." Sho kissed Aiba who was moaning as much as him and thrusting deeply.
"So close..." The horse lover gasped, his hand taking Sho's member to pump it with his moves.
"Shit..." Sho swore as his body arched and his semen spread between their stomachs. The clenching walls made Aiba whine in pure pleasure and release some seconds later. Out of breath, Masaki collapsed on his lover, kissing him endlessly.
"Thank you for trusting me."
"Thank you for loving me," Sho replied, hugging Aiba tightly.
"Are you okay?"
"More than okay. I would have never guessed it was so good to be taken. I just remembered the pain." Sho smiled sadly.
"It's always like that when you do it with someone you love."
"I'm exhausted."
"How are your legs?" Aiba asked worriedly, raising his body to stroke the paralyzed legs softly.
"Hurt. I can't raise them. They feel heavy."
"You did a lot today, it's normal. Wrapping my waist with your legs was incredible."
"I wanted to hold you close."
"I'm happy you did it. Let's sleep, we have to get up early tomorrow." Aiba laid his head on Sho's chest who hugged him, his nose pressed in the younger's silky hair.
****
"Wonderful, Sakurai-san!" Heroki exclaimed when Sho finished his course.
The rapper grinned happily, collapsing on the wheelchair that Aiba had brought. After 10 painful minutes, Sho had managed to finish his exercise with the bars. He still couldn't stand on his legs alone, but with help, he could move it slowly to walk.
"I'm dead tired," Sho whined.
"It's normal but you have made a lot of progress. If you continue, you will be able to walk alone in the end of the year."
"Not before?" Sho gasped.
"It depends of your will and body. Maybe in six months it will be over or maybe not." Heroki smiled.
"Sho-chan rode yesterday," Aiba stated proudly.
"Really? That's great!"
"It wasn't that incredible." Sho blushed.
"It is. Riding will help you a lot in your re-education. I'll see you tomorrow then." Heroki bowed.
"Can you go without me, I have a question to ask to sensei?" Aiba asked his lover.
"Hun." Sho nodded and left the room.
"So tell me, what happened?" Heroki smiled.
"We went to Kobayashi's stables and Sho met Elena. They have talked a lot and after, she proposed him to ride her horse. Sho-chan was amazing. He managed to lead the horse and even pressed his legs a bit." Aiba grinned.
"I knew meeting her would help him. She understands him better than anyone else after all. But with your grin and Sakurai-kun's amazing progress, I guess it's not just that. Something good happened, ne?"
"Well..." Aiba blushed. "Sho-chan and I have made love for the first time since the accident."
"Hontou?! I understand why he was smiling so brightly then. It's wonderful and very important to tell him your feelings too."
"Yes. I told him how beautiful he was in my eyes despite his handicap. Sho thought not being able to walk reduced him as a man."
"Because he needs to be carried sometimes?" Heroki nodded.
"Yes and because he can't move like he wants to when we make love."
"I see. It's very difficult not to be ashamed when your state imposes that to yourself. Yesterday was the first big step. Now he is ready to fight. Just be careful. Like any normal patient, his mood will sometimes get down and he will need help."
"I know, but I'm here for him. We are stronger together."
"I can see that. Keep helping him. He did great today." Heroki shook Aiba's hand with a smile.
The young man grinned and left the room to find Sho outside next to the door with grateful eyes.
"It's bad to listen to private conversations, little brat." Aiba pouted.
"And it's bad to talk about your lover behind his back mostly when it's to talk about your sex life," Sho replied.
"Well... I couldn't help it... I was so proud of you..." Aiba blushed.
"I know. Thank you." Sho linked their fingers with a loving smile.
"Let's go. We have to eat and Spirit is waiting for you," Aiba exclaimed.
"How is he?"
"Mmm... Scared... But don't worry, you will be able to reassure him."
***
What Sho didn't expect was the difficulties he would go through with Spirit.
As they reached Spirit's box, a bad feeling won over Sho. The young rapper opened the door and gasped when he saw his horse. Spirit was laying in a corner, shivering in fear.
"Spirit..." The horse neighed in fear and stood up to move back even more. "What's happening? He has lost weight." Sho frowned.
"We didn't want to tell you until you were better. After the accident, Spirit started to panic again. He doesn't let anybody approach him and barely eats. He is very scared."
"How can I do anything if he is also afraid of me?!" Sho snapped.
"Because you were close to him. He associates you to the accident, but he also trusted you a lot. I think you are the only one able to do something."
"I'm still paralyzed, it's too dangerous!"
"I will help you! Please, Sho. Don't leave him alone! He needs someone like you did when you came here. Help him. He is traumatized," Aiba implored.
"But how? I can't even use the join-up as I can't walk!"
"We will use something else. Please, I promise I will help you."
"Okay," Sho sighed.
"Thank you." Aiba hugged his lover happily.
"But how?"
"You have to find a way by yourself. Think about something and I'm sure it will work."
Sho sighed in despair but decided to do it. The rapper started to do some research by reading Aiba's mother's books. Sho discovered with pleasure how amazing this woman was, working for hours on methods to appease the horses or heal their trauma. She used many different methods: join-up, massages, essential oils... Everything depended of the horse and the trauma. After lots of hours, Sho finally found what would maybe work with Spirit.
"What are you going to do?" Aiba asked the next day.
"You'll see. I need you to put Spirit in the small manège." Sho smiled mysteriously.
The rapper took some carrots and followed Aiba toward the stables. With Nino and Jun's help, they managed to bring Spirit in the smaller manège of the ranch with difficulty. Spirit was panicked and tried to run away several times, rearing up. At the second they released him, the horse ran away from them. The animal neighed in fear and stopped in a corner, its chest raising up and down very quickly.
Sho entered the manège and stopped, taking a carrot to eat it. Spirit's ears moved curiously but the horse stayed away.
For half of the day Sho didn't move. He read or eat and ignored Spirit. When Spirit had started to calm down a bit, though he didn't seem ready to move.
When the sun disappeared, Sho left the manège to go into the house.
"Do you really think it will work?" Jun asked as they were all eating.
"I don't know. It's a method Masaki's mother used one day on a horse that didn't let anybody approach it," Sho explained, smiling when Aiba took his hand with a warm smile.
"It will work."
For one week, Sho kept doing the same thing. He stayed with Spirit all day to get him used to his presence until one day, the horse started to react. Sho was eating an apple when Spirit made a step toward him. The rapper smiled but ignored the horse, still eating. After ten minutes of approaching a bit, Spirit stopped at two meters and with a grin, Sho put the apple on the ground and moved back. In one second, Spirit had approached and ate the apple.
"Good boy," Sho praised.
Step by step, Spirit started to approach the rapper a bit more everyday. It was just a little bit, but the horse finally managed to stop next to Sho.
"Want it?" Sho held out the carrot in his hand. Spirit stared at him with his smart eyes and lowered his head to take the carrot in Sho's hand. The rapper grinned proudly and stroked the horse's neck softly. "You too. You're not alone."
To be continued...
A/N: It was so weird for me to put Aiba on top of Sho xD I just can see Jun topping Sho sometimes xD But it was Sho's way to prove his love, trust andto thank Aiba for what he did for him :) and it was also a big step to forget his rape and the harm his father did to him :) our dear singer is making lots of progresses but things can't be that easy, ne? XD See you soon for the next chapter, comments are always <3