Breaking chains (13/16)
Title: Breaking chains
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairings: Sakumoto, Ohmiya, Junba
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst, BDSM
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If I owned Sakumoto they would already be tied up on my bed xD
Summary: I was 18 years old the first time I met him. I was a student, he was my teacher. Our relationship was forbidden but it didn't stop us to fall in love. But what I hadn't planned was the dark part of his life that would make me feel alive and free but at the same time, would tie me up to a dangerous relationship.
A/N: Jun and Aiba are 18 years old, Sho is 30 in this story.
Chapter 13:
"Hey, baby." Sho kissed me with a smile when we met two days later.
"Hello."
"What's wrong? You had a weird voice on the phone."
"I... It's hard to say... Sho, I think we have to stop."
"What?" Sho's face paled.
"All this was stupid. We were acting like two teenagers and now, we have to grow. I want to break-up." I whispered, not able to look at him.
"Wait wait wait! What's that?! You are lying?! You told me two days ago that you wanted to spend your life with me and now, you are breaking?!" Sho's voice died.
"I was wrong. I... I don't love you. It was just an amusement... We've had fun but now, it has to stop. I'm sorry."
"Jun! You must be kidding!! I won't accept that! I know you love me, you can't break up!" Sho yelled. The pain in his eyes was just unbearable for me. I wanted to hug him, to kiss him and tell him all that was a lie but I couldn't.
"I've met someone else." I looked away, avoiding his shocked eyes.
"Who is it?"
"It's none of your business."
"Is it Masaki?" Sho's voice broke.
"It's not important."
"Why?!" Sho hit the wall with his fist.
"You're not a guy for me. I... I've found better."
"But we were happy together."
"Sorry." I lowered my head but when I wanted to leave, his hand caught my arm.
"I won't let you go. You love me. I love you. You're mine!"
"I'm not in love with you! I was using you because of your money!!" I yelled.
"Bullshit, I know you more than anyone else, Jun and I know money doesn't interest you."
"I'm fed up. You're scaring me and you are hurting me with this relationship!" Sho's face turned white at my words. It was the worst I could tell him but I had to do it if I wanted him to give up. Even if it was a lie.
"What..."
"I've lied all this time. I'm afraid of you. You and your BDSM. You are insane! I've never liked this relationship, Sho!" I shouted.
"You..."
"Who would like to be tied up or hit?! Who would like to be treated like you treated me?! Not me! You're so stupid and annoying, I hate you, Sakurai Sho!"
"I thought..." Sho's voice trembled.
"You thought wrong. Now, excuse me but Masaki is waiting for me." Sho released my harm and I ran away, tears rolling down my cheeks like a waterfall.
I hated myself for doing that but it was the best thing to do. Because the pain I caused him now was less painful than the pain he would have if I stayed with him.
"Won't you change your mind?" Aiba asked me when I went to his home to tell him goodbye.
"I don't really have the choice." I sighed.
"But we could talk to him, we..."
"Masaki, stop please. It's already painful, I don't want to suffer more." I whispered.
"And Sakurai-sensei?"
"I broke up with him. He will find someone better, I'm not worried." I forced a smile, the idea of him with another man hurting me even more.
"And you?"
"I'll be all right. In one month, I'll have already forgotten."
"Liar. You love him." Aiba replied.
"And when you love someone, you have to make sacrifices sometimes. We weren't meant to be together, time will make us forget."
"I'll miss you so bad." Aiba sobbed, jumping in my arms.
"Me too, Ma-chan." I whispered, hugging him as if there was no tomorrow.
"Promise me you'll be happy."
"I'll try. And we'll see each other again, don't worry."
"But France is so far!"
"I know. But I promise I'll come back for you. I know I have broken my promise once but I won't do it again with this one."
"I trust you." Aiba smiled, his forehead pressed against mine.
"I have to go."
"Have you told Sakurai the truth?"
"No. He doesn't need to know. I prefer him to think that I am a bastard."
"You'll have to learn me how to speak French when you'll come back."
"Of course." I chuckled. "Goodbye, Ma-chan."
"Goodbye, Jun." Aiba wrapped my neck with his arms and kissed me. I didn't push him away, we both needed it, even if it wasn't the kiss of two lovers. I put my hand on his nape to slip my tongue in his mouth, trying to find a way not to leave. To stay here with him and Sho.
"I love you, Jun. Take care and write me." Aiba sobbed when we broke the kiss.
"I love you too. Of course, I'll send you letters." I smiled despite the tears on my cheeks. "Take care." I pecked his lips a last time and climbed in the Taxi. My mother took my hand with a sad smile and I hugged her. I knew she did her best for me even if it didn't end like we wanted. My father didn't even come to tell me goodbye and I kissed my mother for the last time in the airport. She was crying, refusing to release me but I pushed her away softly. She had to let me go. It's not as if we had the choice.
"You've grownup so quickly, Jun. I'm proud of you no matter what your father can say. No matter whom you love. I'm proud of you, my baby." She sobbed.
"Thank you for everything you did, you're the best mother in the world. I'll miss you so bad."
"Me too. You're so courageous, I'm sorry for making you go through that. If I hadn't married your father..."
"You had to and if you hadn't, I wouldn't be here today. Don't worry, I'll be fine, do you remember what you always told me before?"
"What doesn't kill me make me stronger." She chuckled.
"I'll try to remember this sentence everyday and when I'll come back, I'll be a man."
"You are already a man, my Jun."
"Goodbye, mom."
"Goodbye my baby." She kissed me and hugged me a last time before I left. And it's once in the plane that I burst into tears. I stared at my phone background, the picture of Sho and I piercing my heart. I still had my necklace and looked at it with sadness. Would I ever be able to take it off?
Paris was very different than Tokyo. Of course, there were similitudes but also big differences. The buildings weren't the same. In fact, Paris had more old beautiful apartments and monuments. It wasn't clean like in Tokyo but I guess it was like that everywhere. Everybody seemed in a hurry, French running, sometimes screaming, the cars honked. The same atmosphere than in Tokyo. In fact, wherever you went, if it was in a big town, everybody was in a hurry. At least, I was lucky that my father chose Paris as destination. I would be able to see the most beautiful places. I now had to find my oncle's address. But it was pretty hard in a country where nothing was written in Japanese. I had to seriously learned French. I found a kind young couple who explained which subway I had to take to find my uncle. They even looked at me strangely when I gave them the address. I understood why when I left the subway. The place looked pretty rich. So, maybe it was why they looked at me weirdly when I told them I was looking for Saint-Germain-des-Prés. I didn't really know France but I remembered the girls of my class saying they dreamed to go here. I understood why, now.
I arrived in front of a beautiful apartment block and entered it. It was so... Luxurious. Does my uncle was that rich?!
"Jun-kun, welcome, we were waiting for you!" My uncle exclaimed when I rang.
"Thank you for taking care of me." I bowed.
"Ma ma ma, we aren't in Japan, don't be so formal." My uncle grinned. "Come in, your aunt has prepared a cake for you and your bedroom is ready." My eyes widened when I followed him in the apartment that looked more like a house. It was amazing. The decorations were at the same time olds and moderns, the sun lightening the place because of the big windows. I didn't know there were places like that in Paris.
"Jun-chan, welcome!"
"Hello, auntie." I smiled and blinked when she hugged me.
"I'm so happy to have you here, the apartment was very empty without your cousin."
"He isn't here?"
"No, studies. But his best friend and he often come to see us. You'll see, Toma-kun is very kind."
"He is Japanese?" I blinked.
"Yes. They met when we were living in Tokyo and Toma followed him when we came here."
"I see. Because of the plane, I wasn't able to bring you something." I apologized.
"Don't worry. We are in France, no need to be so formal. French teenagers are very kind, I'm sure you'll meet lots of friends." She exclaimed. "But you'll have to learn French if you want to communicate."
"It's not a problem, French is a beautiful language."
"But so hard to learn and pronounce." She complained. I chuckled, it meant it was hard for her when she learned.
"I'll do my best." I smiled.
"Here is your bedroom." My eyes widened. My 'bedroom' was as big as my living room in Tokyo. The walls were chocolate and white and the furniture’s very moderns.
"It's beautiful."
"You can decorate it like you want. I let you settle your belongings and I'll show you the rest of the apartment and we'll talk with your uncle."
"Thank you."
"We're happy to have you." She kissed my forehead before leaving. I smiled happily. Maybe this mess wouldn't be that bad. At least, my aunt and uncle were very kinds with me. I now just had to handle Sho's absence. This would be pretty hard. I put my clothes in the big cupboard and put my picture of Sho and I on my bedside table.
When I joined the living room, my uncle was on the phone and my aunt came to me to show me the apartment.
"It's not like in Japan. The bathroom is pretty different and also the restrooms. You have your own bathroom, here, next to your bedroom."
"It's a house, not an apartment." I exclaimed, my eyes wide open in front of the view.
"Welcome in Paris. Or I should say, welcome in the rich places of Paris. Your uncle's business works very well here and now, we have the chance to live in one of the richest districts of Paris. The dinner will be at 8.30 p.m. For the breakfast, it's when you wake up and your lunch will be at school. By the way, you are at the same school than Toma, so, he will come to show you everything." My aunt explained while joining the living room.
"And we have to talk about some things." My uncle said softly.
"I..."
"Your father told us why he has sent you here."
"I'm sorry, I promise I won't cause any trouble to you." I bowed.
"Relax Jun. I don't agree with your father's attitude, even if he is my brother. I was the same before, when we were living in Tokyo but France changed us. And also our son." My uncle smiled.
"Eh?"
"Listen, I don't care that you are gay or bi or hetero. For me, the most important is your happiness. Of course, you'll have to work hard because even if you sleep with who you want, you still owe us some things. That's why as long as your note marks are good, we don't mind if you have a boyfriend or if you want to go to parties. But it doesn't mean you can do what you want. I know you're a good boy and won't cause any trouble. I don't want the police to bring me back my nephew because he did something wrong, do you understand?"
"Yes. I promise I'll be good."
"If you want to go to a party, you have to tell us before because we want to know where you are. Paris isn't as safe as Japan, that's why we need to know if you are fine. And you can't bring boys every night here. If you have a boyfriend and serious relationship, we want to meet him before allowing him to sleep here."
"Don't worry, I'm not interested by any relationship." I whispered.
"I know what happened with this Sakurai. I know it's painful to lose his first love but you'll overcome that. I promise you'll find someone else and will heal your wounds." My uncle patted my shoulder kindly.
"He was everything to me." I smiled sadly, tightening my necklace in my hand.
"I know. You don't have to force yourself to meet someone else. We just want you to be happy with us. You'll see, French people are kinds even if you'll still meet bastards but it's the same everywhere. And if you need to talk, we are here for you."
"Thank you. Thank you for your kindness." I sobbed.
"Oh dear, it's normal." My aunt hugged me and kissed my temple.
"I'm tired, I think I need to sleep a bit."
"Of course. We'll wake you up for dinner. Taisuke and Toma will be here. They'll explain you everything about your school."
"Hun." I nodded and left them.
"Poor boy. He went through a lot." I heard my aunt sighing.
****
"Jun, dinner is ready." I yawned when my aunt knocked on my door. It was already 9 p.m.
"I'm coming." I said and stood up to prepare myself, my hair looking like...nothing.
When I joined my new family, I saw two boys talking and laughing. I remembered Taisuke even if it was 10 years ago the last time I had seen him. I guessed the other boy was this Toma. He looked the same age as me and was very beautiful with his short brown hair.
"Jun-kun!" Taisuke exclaimed when he saw me and hugged me.
"Hello, Taisuke-san."
"Oh please, Jun, we are cousins and in France. Call me Taisuke. Or Tai-kun if you prefer."
"Okay." I smiled weakly.
"You don't look very happy, we'll have to change that. And this is Ikuta Toma, my best friend. Toma, this is Matsumoto Jun, my cousin." I was about to bow when Toma held me out his hand with a smile. I smiled back and took it.
"Welcome to Paris, Jun."
"Thank you."I blushed without knowing why.
"We will be in the same class, I'll pick you up tomorrow and will show you everything."
"Thank you very much, Toma." Toma smiled widely when I said his name.
We ate in a happy mood even if I couldn't truly smile. But the atmosphere was great. I really felt as if we were a big family. Taisuke was as kind as before and Toma too. Even if I caught him looking at me very often. I wasn't interested in any relationship. Sho was my first and only love, I didn't want anyone else.
Though, I became friend with Toma very quickly. He was a very kind friend, always listening to the others and doing everything he could to make me laugh. I was spending lots of time with him and Taisuke, finding a way to handle my pain.
"Is it your boyfriend?" Toma asked me some months later as we were in my bedroom.
"He was." I took the picture in his hands.
"You still love him?"
"I'll never stop loving him. He was my first love." I said softly.
"But you won't date someone else?"
"I'm not ready and I don't think I'll ever be ready."
"Don't say that. You just need to find someone who will be able to take care of you." Toma smiled, stroking my cheek.
"Like you?"
"Like me." Toma approached his face to kiss me but I turned my head away.
"Don't do that please." I whispered.
"I love you, Jun."
"We know each other for six months, you can't love me." I replied.
"I fell for you the first time we met."
"I can't."
"Why? I can make you forget him. I can heal your heart, Jun."
"I don't want to forget him. And nobody is able to heal my heart."
"Because you don't let the other a chance to heal your wounds. Open your heart for me, Jun, I swear I'll make you smile again."
"I'm smiling everyday." I snapped.
"I'm talking about true smiles. I know you more than you think. I can see every time you smile that it doesn't reach your eyes. It's been six months and you are still suffering alone. You can fool your family but not me, Jun. I can see your pain."
"This pain helps me to stand up everyday. It makes me feel alive." I whispered.
"No, this pain is slowly destroying you, Jun. You don't look happy at all and you barely eat. You just work. It's not a life."
"My father has decided to stop my life six months ago." I replied.
"Don't be so dramatic. Staying in your pain won't help you. You'll just end unhappy for your whole life. Didn't you have a dream before coming in France?" I looked at him with surprised eyes. My dream...
"My dream would be useless now."
"It's you who decides it's useless."
"Easy to say that, it's not your father who threatened you."
"I understand but here, you aren't under his control anymore, you can realize your dreams."
"I don't know if I have the strength anymore."
"You give up quickly, maybe it wasn't a dream that you had."
"It is! I want to be an actor since I'm 6 years old!" I snapped.
"Then, be an actor, Jun. Make your dreams come true. You are the master of your destiny. It's not your father."
"But I'm in France, I don't know anybody and my French isn't very good."
"Work harder, then. And you'll have to start by little roles to become someone. Fight for your dream, Jun or you'll regret it all your life."
"Okay." I nodded.
"And let me help you."
"Toma..."
"Give me a chance to win your heart, Jun. Please."
"Okay." I sighed.
"This week-end, there is a party at Samuel's house, come with us, you always refuse to come."
"But I don't know him very well."
"It's not important. There will be Sarah and Mathieu too."
"Alright." I gave up once more but seeing this happy smile on his face warmed my heart.
"And from now on, you'll take lessons for your pronunciation. I know a great French teacher who will help you a lot."
"Thank you for everything, Toma." I kissed his cheek, getting two cute shades of red on his face.
I started the lessons the day after and decided to try an audition for publicity two months later. In six months, I had made lots of progresses in French because of all the hours I spent on this language. But my pronunciation was still weak. French was so hard for Japanese! I talked about my dream to my uncle and he decided to help me as I had perfect note mark at school. The week-end came quickly and I decided to make an effort and go to this party. It would also be a good way to practice my French.
After a long shower, I chose (with difficulty) my clothes -Paris was definitely amazing for a fan of clothes like me- and stared at my face in the mirror. I didn't like my face. I looked younger when I was almost 19 years old. I had cut a bit my hair some weeks ago but had still some bangs falling on my temples. Deciding, to let it like that, I got dressed and put some perfume before leaving my bedroom.
"Jun, you're beautiful tonight!"My aunt exclaimed.
"Thank you." I blushed.
"Toma-chan will be shocked to see you like that!"
"Toma is just a friend." I muttered.
"He is crazy about you, you should give him a chance."
"I..."
"Jun!" I turned around to see my cousin and Toma smiling.
"Jun... You're beautiful." Toma whispered.
"Thanks. You're good too." I blushed, cursing myself for this stupid answer. Maybe wearing a black slim and a white shirt wasn't a good idea, after all.
"Come on, lovebirds, there is a party waiting for us!" Taisuke exclaimed. We followed him under my family's laughs, Toma and I as red as two tomatoes. Samuel's house was twice bigger than our apartment, with a swimming pool in the garden and lots of persons already here.
"Let's drink and dance for the whole night!" Taisuke exclaimed, running toward the bar and the girls.
"He will never change." Toma sighed. "Come on, what do you want to drink?"
"Ano... A beer."
"Jun, we aren't in Japan anymore, beer is for kids."
"I don't know. I've never drunk before..."
"Eh?! So, you're not a virgin but you've never drunk?!"
"Toma!" I blushed.
"You've missed the true life! Come on, I'll repair this mistake immediately!" Toma grabbed my hand and led me to the bar. "Two Morito, please."I tasted my drink carefully and smiled. "Good, ne?" Toma smirked.
"Very good." I nodded.
"Let's get drunk and have fun with everybody!"
"How do you say 'kanpai' in French?" I asked. Toma stared at me before laughing.
"Jun, you have to know there are two sentence for that in France but one of them is...a bit weird for someone able to understand the real meaning." Toma smirked.
"Eh?"
"The first one is 'à la tienne' and the other is... 'tchin tchin'." I blushed deeply, making him laugh loudly.
"It's okay for French people to say that because it's not the same meaning but don't use it in Asia." Toma chuckled.
"Then... Tchin tchin?" I said shyly.
"Look at me in the eyes when our glasses touch." Toma warned.
"Why?"
"Because there is a tale saying that if you don't, you won't have sex for the next seven years." Toma laughed when my eyes widened.
"Really?"
"Really. French people speak easily about these kinds of things. You'll get use, don't worry. Let's dance!"
I followed him with my second glass, alcohol wining me quickly as I wasn't used to drink. We started to dance, Toma smiling mysteriously to me but soon, a girl joined us with a guy. The girl tried to dance with my friend and the guy wrapped his arm around my waist to press me against him.
"You're new here, aren't you?"
"Yes." I said shyly.
"So, you play in the same team?"
"Eh?"
"You're gay." The guy chuckled.
"Ano... Yes." I blushed.
"Where are you from?"
"Japan."
"Oh. You speak well. And you are very cute, princesse."
"Jonathan, could you stop flirting with my boyfriend?!" Toma snapped.
"Oh, he is your boyfriend? Mille excuses, princesse." The said Jonathan laughed and left.
"Why did you say I was your boyfriend?"
"He wouldn't have stopped. Jonathan is kind but sleeps with every cock crossing his way." Toma apologized.
"Thank you."
"Another glass?"
"Hun."
"Hey, Toma, want to play?!" A guy called as we were drinking our nth glass.
"Sugoi! Of course!"
"What is it?" I asked.
"Strip poker. Want to play?"
"With pleasure." I grinned.
"You're funnier when you are drunk, Junny!" I laughed stupidely and we sat around a table.
"So, everybody knows how to play? If you lose a party, you take off a piece of cloth."
"Ouiiiiii!!" Everybody laughed. The game turned out of control. I was usually good at poker but without alcohol in blood. I ended up in boxer while Toma was in shirt and boxer. We were all laughing loudly, trying to cheat. Two girls were only wearing their strings and one guy was naked.
"Jun has lost! The boxer! The boxer!"The players exclaimed.
"Noooo!" I whined.
"Such a coward!"
"You don't have to." Toma said kindly. Was he really drunk?
"If it's the game!" I laughed and taking off my boxer, I jumped in the swimming pool under their laughs. I soon felt two arms wrapping me from behind and turned around to see Toma's face at one centimeter of mine.
"To-" I froze when his mouth caught my lips.
To be continued...
A/N: Well, things are pretty bad for our Sakumoto with Toma trying to win Jun's heart ><
Author: MatsuAurore
Pairings: Sakumoto, Ohmiya, Junba
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst, BDSM
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If I owned Sakumoto they would already be tied up on my bed xD
Summary: I was 18 years old the first time I met him. I was a student, he was my teacher. Our relationship was forbidden but it didn't stop us to fall in love. But what I hadn't planned was the dark part of his life that would make me feel alive and free but at the same time, would tie me up to a dangerous relationship.
A/N: Jun and Aiba are 18 years old, Sho is 30 in this story.
Chapter 13:
"Hey, baby." Sho kissed me with a smile when we met two days later.
"Hello."
"What's wrong? You had a weird voice on the phone."
"I... It's hard to say... Sho, I think we have to stop."
"What?" Sho's face paled.
"All this was stupid. We were acting like two teenagers and now, we have to grow. I want to break-up." I whispered, not able to look at him.
"Wait wait wait! What's that?! You are lying?! You told me two days ago that you wanted to spend your life with me and now, you are breaking?!" Sho's voice died.
"I was wrong. I... I don't love you. It was just an amusement... We've had fun but now, it has to stop. I'm sorry."
"Jun! You must be kidding!! I won't accept that! I know you love me, you can't break up!" Sho yelled. The pain in his eyes was just unbearable for me. I wanted to hug him, to kiss him and tell him all that was a lie but I couldn't.
"I've met someone else." I looked away, avoiding his shocked eyes.
"Who is it?"
"It's none of your business."
"Is it Masaki?" Sho's voice broke.
"It's not important."
"Why?!" Sho hit the wall with his fist.
"You're not a guy for me. I... I've found better."
"But we were happy together."
"Sorry." I lowered my head but when I wanted to leave, his hand caught my arm.
"I won't let you go. You love me. I love you. You're mine!"
"I'm not in love with you! I was using you because of your money!!" I yelled.
"Bullshit, I know you more than anyone else, Jun and I know money doesn't interest you."
"I'm fed up. You're scaring me and you are hurting me with this relationship!" Sho's face turned white at my words. It was the worst I could tell him but I had to do it if I wanted him to give up. Even if it was a lie.
"What..."
"I've lied all this time. I'm afraid of you. You and your BDSM. You are insane! I've never liked this relationship, Sho!" I shouted.
"You..."
"Who would like to be tied up or hit?! Who would like to be treated like you treated me?! Not me! You're so stupid and annoying, I hate you, Sakurai Sho!"
"I thought..." Sho's voice trembled.
"You thought wrong. Now, excuse me but Masaki is waiting for me." Sho released my harm and I ran away, tears rolling down my cheeks like a waterfall.
I hated myself for doing that but it was the best thing to do. Because the pain I caused him now was less painful than the pain he would have if I stayed with him.
"Won't you change your mind?" Aiba asked me when I went to his home to tell him goodbye.
"I don't really have the choice." I sighed.
"But we could talk to him, we..."
"Masaki, stop please. It's already painful, I don't want to suffer more." I whispered.
"And Sakurai-sensei?"
"I broke up with him. He will find someone better, I'm not worried." I forced a smile, the idea of him with another man hurting me even more.
"And you?"
"I'll be all right. In one month, I'll have already forgotten."
"Liar. You love him." Aiba replied.
"And when you love someone, you have to make sacrifices sometimes. We weren't meant to be together, time will make us forget."
"I'll miss you so bad." Aiba sobbed, jumping in my arms.
"Me too, Ma-chan." I whispered, hugging him as if there was no tomorrow.
"Promise me you'll be happy."
"I'll try. And we'll see each other again, don't worry."
"But France is so far!"
"I know. But I promise I'll come back for you. I know I have broken my promise once but I won't do it again with this one."
"I trust you." Aiba smiled, his forehead pressed against mine.
"I have to go."
"Have you told Sakurai the truth?"
"No. He doesn't need to know. I prefer him to think that I am a bastard."
"You'll have to learn me how to speak French when you'll come back."
"Of course." I chuckled. "Goodbye, Ma-chan."
"Goodbye, Jun." Aiba wrapped my neck with his arms and kissed me. I didn't push him away, we both needed it, even if it wasn't the kiss of two lovers. I put my hand on his nape to slip my tongue in his mouth, trying to find a way not to leave. To stay here with him and Sho.
"I love you, Jun. Take care and write me." Aiba sobbed when we broke the kiss.
"I love you too. Of course, I'll send you letters." I smiled despite the tears on my cheeks. "Take care." I pecked his lips a last time and climbed in the Taxi. My mother took my hand with a sad smile and I hugged her. I knew she did her best for me even if it didn't end like we wanted. My father didn't even come to tell me goodbye and I kissed my mother for the last time in the airport. She was crying, refusing to release me but I pushed her away softly. She had to let me go. It's not as if we had the choice.
"You've grownup so quickly, Jun. I'm proud of you no matter what your father can say. No matter whom you love. I'm proud of you, my baby." She sobbed.
"Thank you for everything you did, you're the best mother in the world. I'll miss you so bad."
"Me too. You're so courageous, I'm sorry for making you go through that. If I hadn't married your father..."
"You had to and if you hadn't, I wouldn't be here today. Don't worry, I'll be fine, do you remember what you always told me before?"
"What doesn't kill me make me stronger." She chuckled.
"I'll try to remember this sentence everyday and when I'll come back, I'll be a man."
"You are already a man, my Jun."
"Goodbye, mom."
"Goodbye my baby." She kissed me and hugged me a last time before I left. And it's once in the plane that I burst into tears. I stared at my phone background, the picture of Sho and I piercing my heart. I still had my necklace and looked at it with sadness. Would I ever be able to take it off?
Paris was very different than Tokyo. Of course, there were similitudes but also big differences. The buildings weren't the same. In fact, Paris had more old beautiful apartments and monuments. It wasn't clean like in Tokyo but I guess it was like that everywhere. Everybody seemed in a hurry, French running, sometimes screaming, the cars honked. The same atmosphere than in Tokyo. In fact, wherever you went, if it was in a big town, everybody was in a hurry. At least, I was lucky that my father chose Paris as destination. I would be able to see the most beautiful places. I now had to find my oncle's address. But it was pretty hard in a country where nothing was written in Japanese. I had to seriously learned French. I found a kind young couple who explained which subway I had to take to find my uncle. They even looked at me strangely when I gave them the address. I understood why when I left the subway. The place looked pretty rich. So, maybe it was why they looked at me weirdly when I told them I was looking for Saint-Germain-des-Prés. I didn't really know France but I remembered the girls of my class saying they dreamed to go here. I understood why, now.
I arrived in front of a beautiful apartment block and entered it. It was so... Luxurious. Does my uncle was that rich?!
"Jun-kun, welcome, we were waiting for you!" My uncle exclaimed when I rang.
"Thank you for taking care of me." I bowed.
"Ma ma ma, we aren't in Japan, don't be so formal." My uncle grinned. "Come in, your aunt has prepared a cake for you and your bedroom is ready." My eyes widened when I followed him in the apartment that looked more like a house. It was amazing. The decorations were at the same time olds and moderns, the sun lightening the place because of the big windows. I didn't know there were places like that in Paris.
"Jun-chan, welcome!"
"Hello, auntie." I smiled and blinked when she hugged me.
"I'm so happy to have you here, the apartment was very empty without your cousin."
"He isn't here?"
"No, studies. But his best friend and he often come to see us. You'll see, Toma-kun is very kind."
"He is Japanese?" I blinked.
"Yes. They met when we were living in Tokyo and Toma followed him when we came here."
"I see. Because of the plane, I wasn't able to bring you something." I apologized.
"Don't worry. We are in France, no need to be so formal. French teenagers are very kind, I'm sure you'll meet lots of friends." She exclaimed. "But you'll have to learn French if you want to communicate."
"It's not a problem, French is a beautiful language."
"But so hard to learn and pronounce." She complained. I chuckled, it meant it was hard for her when she learned.
"I'll do my best." I smiled.
"Here is your bedroom." My eyes widened. My 'bedroom' was as big as my living room in Tokyo. The walls were chocolate and white and the furniture’s very moderns.
"It's beautiful."
"You can decorate it like you want. I let you settle your belongings and I'll show you the rest of the apartment and we'll talk with your uncle."
"Thank you."
"We're happy to have you." She kissed my forehead before leaving. I smiled happily. Maybe this mess wouldn't be that bad. At least, my aunt and uncle were very kinds with me. I now just had to handle Sho's absence. This would be pretty hard. I put my clothes in the big cupboard and put my picture of Sho and I on my bedside table.
When I joined the living room, my uncle was on the phone and my aunt came to me to show me the apartment.
"It's not like in Japan. The bathroom is pretty different and also the restrooms. You have your own bathroom, here, next to your bedroom."
"It's a house, not an apartment." I exclaimed, my eyes wide open in front of the view.
"Welcome in Paris. Or I should say, welcome in the rich places of Paris. Your uncle's business works very well here and now, we have the chance to live in one of the richest districts of Paris. The dinner will be at 8.30 p.m. For the breakfast, it's when you wake up and your lunch will be at school. By the way, you are at the same school than Toma, so, he will come to show you everything." My aunt explained while joining the living room.
"And we have to talk about some things." My uncle said softly.
"I..."
"Your father told us why he has sent you here."
"I'm sorry, I promise I won't cause any trouble to you." I bowed.
"Relax Jun. I don't agree with your father's attitude, even if he is my brother. I was the same before, when we were living in Tokyo but France changed us. And also our son." My uncle smiled.
"Eh?"
"Listen, I don't care that you are gay or bi or hetero. For me, the most important is your happiness. Of course, you'll have to work hard because even if you sleep with who you want, you still owe us some things. That's why as long as your note marks are good, we don't mind if you have a boyfriend or if you want to go to parties. But it doesn't mean you can do what you want. I know you're a good boy and won't cause any trouble. I don't want the police to bring me back my nephew because he did something wrong, do you understand?"
"Yes. I promise I'll be good."
"If you want to go to a party, you have to tell us before because we want to know where you are. Paris isn't as safe as Japan, that's why we need to know if you are fine. And you can't bring boys every night here. If you have a boyfriend and serious relationship, we want to meet him before allowing him to sleep here."
"Don't worry, I'm not interested by any relationship." I whispered.
"I know what happened with this Sakurai. I know it's painful to lose his first love but you'll overcome that. I promise you'll find someone else and will heal your wounds." My uncle patted my shoulder kindly.
"He was everything to me." I smiled sadly, tightening my necklace in my hand.
"I know. You don't have to force yourself to meet someone else. We just want you to be happy with us. You'll see, French people are kinds even if you'll still meet bastards but it's the same everywhere. And if you need to talk, we are here for you."
"Thank you. Thank you for your kindness." I sobbed.
"Oh dear, it's normal." My aunt hugged me and kissed my temple.
"I'm tired, I think I need to sleep a bit."
"Of course. We'll wake you up for dinner. Taisuke and Toma will be here. They'll explain you everything about your school."
"Hun." I nodded and left them.
"Poor boy. He went through a lot." I heard my aunt sighing.
****
"Jun, dinner is ready." I yawned when my aunt knocked on my door. It was already 9 p.m.
"I'm coming." I said and stood up to prepare myself, my hair looking like...nothing.
When I joined my new family, I saw two boys talking and laughing. I remembered Taisuke even if it was 10 years ago the last time I had seen him. I guessed the other boy was this Toma. He looked the same age as me and was very beautiful with his short brown hair.
"Jun-kun!" Taisuke exclaimed when he saw me and hugged me.
"Hello, Taisuke-san."
"Oh please, Jun, we are cousins and in France. Call me Taisuke. Or Tai-kun if you prefer."
"Okay." I smiled weakly.
"You don't look very happy, we'll have to change that. And this is Ikuta Toma, my best friend. Toma, this is Matsumoto Jun, my cousin." I was about to bow when Toma held me out his hand with a smile. I smiled back and took it.
"Welcome to Paris, Jun."
"Thank you."I blushed without knowing why.
"We will be in the same class, I'll pick you up tomorrow and will show you everything."
"Thank you very much, Toma." Toma smiled widely when I said his name.
We ate in a happy mood even if I couldn't truly smile. But the atmosphere was great. I really felt as if we were a big family. Taisuke was as kind as before and Toma too. Even if I caught him looking at me very often. I wasn't interested in any relationship. Sho was my first and only love, I didn't want anyone else.
Though, I became friend with Toma very quickly. He was a very kind friend, always listening to the others and doing everything he could to make me laugh. I was spending lots of time with him and Taisuke, finding a way to handle my pain.
"Is it your boyfriend?" Toma asked me some months later as we were in my bedroom.
"He was." I took the picture in his hands.
"You still love him?"
"I'll never stop loving him. He was my first love." I said softly.
"But you won't date someone else?"
"I'm not ready and I don't think I'll ever be ready."
"Don't say that. You just need to find someone who will be able to take care of you." Toma smiled, stroking my cheek.
"Like you?"
"Like me." Toma approached his face to kiss me but I turned my head away.
"Don't do that please." I whispered.
"I love you, Jun."
"We know each other for six months, you can't love me." I replied.
"I fell for you the first time we met."
"I can't."
"Why? I can make you forget him. I can heal your heart, Jun."
"I don't want to forget him. And nobody is able to heal my heart."
"Because you don't let the other a chance to heal your wounds. Open your heart for me, Jun, I swear I'll make you smile again."
"I'm smiling everyday." I snapped.
"I'm talking about true smiles. I know you more than you think. I can see every time you smile that it doesn't reach your eyes. It's been six months and you are still suffering alone. You can fool your family but not me, Jun. I can see your pain."
"This pain helps me to stand up everyday. It makes me feel alive." I whispered.
"No, this pain is slowly destroying you, Jun. You don't look happy at all and you barely eat. You just work. It's not a life."
"My father has decided to stop my life six months ago." I replied.
"Don't be so dramatic. Staying in your pain won't help you. You'll just end unhappy for your whole life. Didn't you have a dream before coming in France?" I looked at him with surprised eyes. My dream...
"My dream would be useless now."
"It's you who decides it's useless."
"Easy to say that, it's not your father who threatened you."
"I understand but here, you aren't under his control anymore, you can realize your dreams."
"I don't know if I have the strength anymore."
"You give up quickly, maybe it wasn't a dream that you had."
"It is! I want to be an actor since I'm 6 years old!" I snapped.
"Then, be an actor, Jun. Make your dreams come true. You are the master of your destiny. It's not your father."
"But I'm in France, I don't know anybody and my French isn't very good."
"Work harder, then. And you'll have to start by little roles to become someone. Fight for your dream, Jun or you'll regret it all your life."
"Okay." I nodded.
"And let me help you."
"Toma..."
"Give me a chance to win your heart, Jun. Please."
"Okay." I sighed.
"This week-end, there is a party at Samuel's house, come with us, you always refuse to come."
"But I don't know him very well."
"It's not important. There will be Sarah and Mathieu too."
"Alright." I gave up once more but seeing this happy smile on his face warmed my heart.
"And from now on, you'll take lessons for your pronunciation. I know a great French teacher who will help you a lot."
"Thank you for everything, Toma." I kissed his cheek, getting two cute shades of red on his face.
I started the lessons the day after and decided to try an audition for publicity two months later. In six months, I had made lots of progresses in French because of all the hours I spent on this language. But my pronunciation was still weak. French was so hard for Japanese! I talked about my dream to my uncle and he decided to help me as I had perfect note mark at school. The week-end came quickly and I decided to make an effort and go to this party. It would also be a good way to practice my French.
After a long shower, I chose (with difficulty) my clothes -Paris was definitely amazing for a fan of clothes like me- and stared at my face in the mirror. I didn't like my face. I looked younger when I was almost 19 years old. I had cut a bit my hair some weeks ago but had still some bangs falling on my temples. Deciding, to let it like that, I got dressed and put some perfume before leaving my bedroom.
"Jun, you're beautiful tonight!"My aunt exclaimed.
"Thank you." I blushed.
"Toma-chan will be shocked to see you like that!"
"Toma is just a friend." I muttered.
"He is crazy about you, you should give him a chance."
"I..."
"Jun!" I turned around to see my cousin and Toma smiling.
"Jun... You're beautiful." Toma whispered.
"Thanks. You're good too." I blushed, cursing myself for this stupid answer. Maybe wearing a black slim and a white shirt wasn't a good idea, after all.
"Come on, lovebirds, there is a party waiting for us!" Taisuke exclaimed. We followed him under my family's laughs, Toma and I as red as two tomatoes. Samuel's house was twice bigger than our apartment, with a swimming pool in the garden and lots of persons already here.
"Let's drink and dance for the whole night!" Taisuke exclaimed, running toward the bar and the girls.
"He will never change." Toma sighed. "Come on, what do you want to drink?"
"Ano... A beer."
"Jun, we aren't in Japan anymore, beer is for kids."
"I don't know. I've never drunk before..."
"Eh?! So, you're not a virgin but you've never drunk?!"
"Toma!" I blushed.
"You've missed the true life! Come on, I'll repair this mistake immediately!" Toma grabbed my hand and led me to the bar. "Two Morito, please."I tasted my drink carefully and smiled. "Good, ne?" Toma smirked.
"Very good." I nodded.
"Let's get drunk and have fun with everybody!"
"How do you say 'kanpai' in French?" I asked. Toma stared at me before laughing.
"Jun, you have to know there are two sentence for that in France but one of them is...a bit weird for someone able to understand the real meaning." Toma smirked.
"Eh?"
"The first one is 'à la tienne' and the other is... 'tchin tchin'." I blushed deeply, making him laugh loudly.
"It's okay for French people to say that because it's not the same meaning but don't use it in Asia." Toma chuckled.
"Then... Tchin tchin?" I said shyly.
"Look at me in the eyes when our glasses touch." Toma warned.
"Why?"
"Because there is a tale saying that if you don't, you won't have sex for the next seven years." Toma laughed when my eyes widened.
"Really?"
"Really. French people speak easily about these kinds of things. You'll get use, don't worry. Let's dance!"
I followed him with my second glass, alcohol wining me quickly as I wasn't used to drink. We started to dance, Toma smiling mysteriously to me but soon, a girl joined us with a guy. The girl tried to dance with my friend and the guy wrapped his arm around my waist to press me against him.
"You're new here, aren't you?"
"Yes." I said shyly.
"So, you play in the same team?"
"Eh?"
"You're gay." The guy chuckled.
"Ano... Yes." I blushed.
"Where are you from?"
"Japan."
"Oh. You speak well. And you are very cute, princesse."
"Jonathan, could you stop flirting with my boyfriend?!" Toma snapped.
"Oh, he is your boyfriend? Mille excuses, princesse." The said Jonathan laughed and left.
"Why did you say I was your boyfriend?"
"He wouldn't have stopped. Jonathan is kind but sleeps with every cock crossing his way." Toma apologized.
"Thank you."
"Another glass?"
"Hun."
"Hey, Toma, want to play?!" A guy called as we were drinking our nth glass.
"Sugoi! Of course!"
"What is it?" I asked.
"Strip poker. Want to play?"
"With pleasure." I grinned.
"You're funnier when you are drunk, Junny!" I laughed stupidely and we sat around a table.
"So, everybody knows how to play? If you lose a party, you take off a piece of cloth."
"Ouiiiiii!!" Everybody laughed. The game turned out of control. I was usually good at poker but without alcohol in blood. I ended up in boxer while Toma was in shirt and boxer. We were all laughing loudly, trying to cheat. Two girls were only wearing their strings and one guy was naked.
"Jun has lost! The boxer! The boxer!"The players exclaimed.
"Noooo!" I whined.
"Such a coward!"
"You don't have to." Toma said kindly. Was he really drunk?
"If it's the game!" I laughed and taking off my boxer, I jumped in the swimming pool under their laughs. I soon felt two arms wrapping me from behind and turned around to see Toma's face at one centimeter of mine.
"To-" I froze when his mouth caught my lips.
To be continued...
A/N: Well, things are pretty bad for our Sakumoto with Toma trying to win Jun's heart ><