Umi no shizukesa (The ocean's silence)
Title: Umi no shizukesa (the ocean's silence)
Author: MatsuAurore
Beta: Mokohno, always, Mokohno <3
Pairings: Juntoshi, Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst
Disclaimer: Just own the plot.
Summary: Ohno looses his voice after a traumatic experience. He is desperate and alone, rejected by the others because of his silence. One day, he meets Jun, a young diver addicted to the sea. With Jun's help, Ohno discovers another world where the silence is the most precious thing. Together, they learn another language: the language of the sea.
Chapter 9:
Jun bit his lips nervously, his right leg moving up and down worriedly. They arrived at hospital two hours ago and were waiting for a doctor to have some news about Ohno's state.
"What are they doing?!" Jun kept repeating since two hours.
"Calm down, J. He'll be alright." Nino wrapped his arm around his shoulders, laying his head on his.
"But they are too long!" Jun mumbled.
"I'm sure Ohchan will fight for you two." Nino kissed the tip of his nose and Jun hid his face in his neck, sighing deeply.
"Thanks for being here, Kaz'."
"Everything for you my J."
"I don't deserve a friend like you after everything I did to you," Jun whispered.
"We knew all this would most probably end up like that, it's not your fault if your heart doesn't love me." Nino sighed, sadly.
"I love you Kazu but..."
"Yes, I know, you love Ohchan more, I understand it even if I don't want to accept it." Nino cut off his friend with a smile. "But if one day you don't love Ohchan anymore, you know where I live."
Jun smiled sadly and pecked his lips before hugging him tightly. After one more hour, Yamapi came toward them.
"Jun-san?"
"Yes."
"We healed Ohno-san. I think he fell on the ground and his head hit the table and the floor very hard."
"And?"
"He's safe, he is asleep now, you can see him if you want he is in the bedroom 3104." Yamapi smiled.
"Thank you so much Yamapi!" Nino exclaimed.
"You're welcome, I really like Ohno-kun, I'm glad it wasn't a fatal injury."
Yamapi bowed and left.
Jun and Nino walked to Ohno's bedroom. The silent man was asleep, breathing slowly and Jun rushed toward him and took his hand to kiss his palm.
"I’ll leave you two alone and tell to Masaki and Sho he is safe. I'll come back tomorrow." Nino smiled.
"Thanks Kaz'." Jun grinned and the older left the room. "I was so worried my Toshi, I love you." Jun whispered and laid his head on the bed, falling asleep.
Ohno opened his eyes with difficulty. His head was hurting like hell but a smile appeared on his face when he saw Jun's head leaned on the bed while he was sleeping deeply. He stroked his cheek lovingly, shivering from the touch of the soft skin. Jun groaned and blinked. He raised his eyes, yawning loudly and his face shined in happiness when he saw Ohno's smile.
"Satoshi..." Jun hugged him tightly against his chest, laying lots of kisses on his head. "I thought I had lost you." Jun whispered and Ohno kissed his neck before the younger released him.
I'm sorry. Ohno said with his hands.
"It's not your fault. But why did you fall on the ground?" Jun asked and Ohno quickly turned his head away, shivering. "Satoshi?"
I slipped on the ground that's all.
"Liar. I know you, I can see when you lie to me."
I just slipped. Ohno explained stubbornly.
"Sato, you..."
"Ohayou!!!" Aiba rushed in the room, screaming loudly, a big smile on his face.
"Be quiet, I told you!" Sho smacked his head and Aiba pouted childishly.
"You're so mean, Sho-chan." Masaki stroked his head painfully. "Ohchan, I'm glad to see you, you look better!" The animal lover took Ohno's hands and Jun tried to push away the jealousy invading his heart.
Sho seemed to notice because a teasing smile spread his mouth.
Thank you for coming. Ohno wrote on a paper.
Aiba and Sho didn't understand sign language as well as his lover did and he still needed paper when he spoke to them.
"We’ve been worried sick about you." Sho smiled, patting his head as if Ohno was his baby. "But what happened?"
"I was asking him the same thing when you two rushed here. Masaki answered at your phone but the line cut immediately." Jun looked at his lover who blushed.
Ohno's eyes met Aiba's and the younger lowered his head. He knew, Ohno was sure. Aiba knew there was something to do with his past and Ohno felt grateful the younger didn't say anything.
I don't know, I'm very tired and I don't really remember what happened exactly.
Jun frowned but didn't answer. His boyfriend was hiding something from him but the diver didn't want to push him too far after this accident.
Ohno left the hospital two days later with his lover. They didn't speak about the accident even though Jun wanted to. Aiba and Sho stayed at Jun's apartment, Masaki didn't want to leave because of a mysterious reason and his lover agreed to stay with a sigh.
Jun blinked, feeling a strange warmth on his skin. He looked down and smiled. Ohno had buried his face in his neck and their legs were tangled. Delicately, he stroked his lover’s cheek. He felt so good like that, he hoped the time could stop and he would stay with Ohno forever. Jun closed his eyes to savor this precious moment and fell asleep in two minutes.
"Junnnn, Ohchan isn't in his bed, he disappeared!" Aiba exclaimed, opening the bedroom's door roughly and showing a worried face. Jun jumped and raised his head, sleepily. When Aiba saw Ohno in his best friend's arms, he stopped and smiled.
"What the fuck, are you crazy?! What are you doing in my bedroom, get out, Aibaka!" Jun snapped, anger rushing through his whole body.
"Gomen gomen, I thought Ohchan had disappeared but I see he is in a very good place, omedetou JunJun, you're a man!" Aiba laughed before leaving to escape from the pillow his friend was throwing in his direction.
"He is so impossible this fucking idiot!" Jun mumbled and blinked when he saw Ohno staring at him.
"Gomen, I woke you up. Good morning~" Jun smiled.
Good morning, Jun. The older wrote on his skin.
Jun grinned and kissed his lips lightly, hugging his lover tighter if it was possible. With happiness, Ohno stroked his cheek against the warm chest.
"I have to go, I have work today." The younger said while standing up.
Both took their boxers and tee-shirts and left the room. When they entered the kitchen, Aiba was there with Sho, a big smile on their faces.
"Why both of you are looking at us with those stupid faces?" Jun asked, still angry after the younger.
"Nothing. Good night?" Aiba smirked and Jun hesitated between killing him or just torturing this idiot.
"Masaki, don't tease Jun-kun." Sho said and the younger looked at him gratefully. "It's obvious they spent a good night, Jun showed an idiot smile and Ohchan too." Sho added and Jun sighed, rolling his eyes.
Sometimes, he asked himself what he did to Kami-sama to have two idiot best friends like them.
"Here, Ohchan, I made omurice!" Aiba exclaimed happily.
Ohno nodded, still blushing and sat next to him. They ate in silence if you didn't count Aiba who was speaking loudly as usual. When Jun decided to take a shower, he grabbed Ohno's hand and both went to the bathroom, Aiba and Sho looking at them with mocking smiles.
"Satoshi~" Jun moaned while he was kissing his lover passionately.
The silent man smiled, breathing heavily. He buried his face in Jun's neck and the younger lifted him up against the wall after he had prepared him.
"Oh, gosh, you're so tight, baby!" Jun gasped when he pushed his hard cock in Ohno's hole.
After a moment, his thrusts became faster, making Ohno scratch his nails at his skin, the pleasure invading his whole body. His legs wrapped around the younger's waist who was thrusting harder and faster, moaning his name in his ear. He slipped his hand between their bodies to stroke Ohno's member and after a moment, the two lovers came at the same time, Jun crying the sleepy man's name and Satoshi biting the skin of his neck, leaving a bright red mark of pleasure.
"Fuck, I don't want to go to work, now!" Jun panted and Ohno chuckled silently, his head on his shoulder.
When they left the bathroom, there was no sign of Sho and Aiba. Jun took his stuff for his diving's lesson. He had a lesson with a family and knew it would be boring because it was their first time. He turned round toward Ohno and caught his lips, passionately.
"I love you." Jun whispered, making his lover shiver.
****
The doorbell rang and Ohno stood up and opened it. When he saw the man in front of him, he froze.
"Ano~it's been a while, Ohno-san." The man bowed and Ohno let him enter.
"It was hard to find you." The man said, sitting on the sofa.
"Ohchan, can you..." Aiba began but stopped when he saw the man on the sofa. Ohno didn't hear him, his face showing fear, sadness and pain. Aiba stayed behind the door and listened.
"Ano~ I know you're not really happy to see me but it was very urgent. It's about Matsuda..." The man began and Aiba jumped when he heard the name. Matsuda...No, it was impossible! Not this name!!! He looked at Ohno's reaction. The sleepy man's face had turned to white and his whole body started to shake.
"Ohno-san, are you okay?" The man asked, worried but Ohno nodded and he continued.
"The judgment was yesterday and...they said there weren't enough proof against him that's why he'll leave the jail in a few days." The man said. "I'm so so sorry Ohno-san, I don't understand the judgment, it was obvious he's the culprit but...he is very powerful and I think he bribed the judge. I'm sorry, I'm a useless lawyer, I wasn't able to protect you, I..." Ohno cut him off. He took a paper and wrote something on it.
It's not your fault, you did great but he's too powerful. Thank you for your very good work.
The lawyer smiled sadly, tears filling his eyes.
"I'm so so sorry, I would like for him to pay for what he did to you this night but... Shit, I feel so angry!" The lawyer exclaimed. "Take care, Ohno-san, try to forget this horrible story and move on." He added before he stood up and moved toward the door. "Goodbye, Ohno-san."
They bowed and when Ohno closed the door, he fell on the ground, crying silently. Aiba ran toward him and hugged the sleepy man.
"Ohchan~ I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, this bastard deserves to die!" Aiba cried in Ohno's neck. The older smiled and stroked his cheek.
Don't worry, I'll be fine. He said silently.
After a while, he left the apartment and walked to the beach. Ohno sat down on the sand, looking at the sun shining on the waves. A tear rolled on his cheek. Matsuda. Judgment. Innocent. Release. No. It wasn't possible. It meant the previous call was true. Ohno didn't know how many time he watched the sea but when he came back, his lover was waiting for him, worried.
"Where were you, I was worried sick!" Jun exclaimed, angry.
Beach. Sorry. Ohno explained with his hands.
"You could have send me a message!" Jun snapped, ignoring Ohno's hurt look.
"Oi, Jun, he's sorry, give up. You're so mean, sometimes!" Aiba said while Ohno lowered his head.
"Sorry, Satoshi but I was worried." Jun apologized and the older smiled, hugging him tightly.
****
"Kaa-chan!!! Oto-chan!!!" Ohno shouted in pain. "Please, stop it!!!" Ohno begged.
"You're so good..." The man chuckled evilly.
Ohno woke up, shaking. Beats of wets were rolling on his face.
This dream. Again.
He stood up and ran to the bathroom. After he closed the door, he threw up, his hands were shaking. Tears rolled on his cheeks and he closed his eyes but a flash appeared in his mind. There was blood, so much blood and when he looked at his hands, he screamed silently. He was holding a knife, the same knife as this night.
He opened his eyes, breathing heavily. Everything around him was clean. No blood. No knife. He curled in a ball and cried, the pictures didn't want to leave, the tears didn't want to stop. He heard his voice laughing evilly, his own voice begging.
"Satoshi?!" Jun's voice called and the older stiffened. He saw Jun moving toward him, worried.
"Satoshi, what happened?" Jun asked and when he wanted to touch him, Ohno moved back, afraid. "Satoshi..." Jun whispered, surprised and when Ohno stared at him, he froze. Satoshi's eyes were empty, tears and fear were shining in his beautiful eyes. "Baby, what happened? Tell me, I can't help you if you stay like that." The younger tried to move toward him but Ohno stood up and ran away.
Satoshi brought his knees against his chest, rocking his body back and forth, crying silently.
"Satoshi." Jun kneeled down in front of him and the older buried his face in his arms. "Satoshi, what happened, tell me." Jun tried to touch his shoulder but Ohno moved violently as if his hand was burning. "Satoshi, please, don't do that to me again, don't reject me, I couldn't bear it once again." Jun's voice broke while tears were filling his eyes and Ohno raised his head, blinking. The older couldn't bear Jun's sadness, he hated to make his boyfriend suffer!
Jun... Ohno said desperately in silence and his lover wrapped him in his arms. Satoshi curled against him, crying silently and Jun soothed him, trying to calm him down and whispering comforting words. When Ohno's tears stopped, Jun carried him to their bed and stretched out next to him. The silent man buried his face against his chest, still shaking.
"What happened?" Jun repeated but Ohno didn't answer and tightened his grip around him before he fell asleep, exhausted.
****
"Ohchan, can we talk?" Aiba entered in Ohno's bedroom, closing the door behind him. The older was drawing something with a serious look but smiled and nodded when he saw his friend.
Ohno took the coffee his friend gave him and drank it quickly.
"Ohchan, Jun told me about yesterday night..." Aiba whispered. "You should tell him about your past!" He added, looking at Ohno who shook his head.
No, I can't. Ohno shook his head.
"Why? He is your boyfriend, he has the right to know it." Aiba said.
No. He'll reject me if he knows I'm a coward and dirtier than he can imagine.
"Don't say those horrible things, you're neither a coward nor dirty. He'll understand, he can help you, trust him!"
I... I can't.
"Ohchan, you’re suffering and Jun is too when he sees you like that, you have to tell him the truth...you..."
"What?! What does he have to say to me?" Jun asked, appearing in the bedroom. Aiba looked at Ohno who waved and lowered his head.
"Ohchan... If you can't, give him your notebook." Aiba tried.
"What notebook? What's that? Masaki, answer me!" Jun asked, anger invading his body.
"It's not me who should tell you but Ohchan." Aiba said before leaving.
"Satoshi?" Jun asked. Ohno looked at him with pleading eyes but his lover ignored it. He moved toward him and stroked his cheek. "It's about yesterday night? Tell me, honey, I can listen, trust me." Jun implored. Ohno stared at him and after an eternity (for Jun), nodded. He searched for his bag and took a blue notebook inside.
This is my past. Two years ago. Please, don't reject me.
Jun nodded and opened the book but he didn't know he would dive into the hell...
To be continued...
A/N: Well, sorry for the cut, I know everybody is waiting for Ohchan's past but... yes, I'm brecomming as sadic as JunJun... or not XDD sorry again, you'll discover Ohchan's past in the next chapter ^^ Thank you for all your lovely comments <3
Author: MatsuAurore
Beta: Mokohno, always, Mokohno <3
Pairings: Juntoshi, Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst
Disclaimer: Just own the plot.
Summary: Ohno looses his voice after a traumatic experience. He is desperate and alone, rejected by the others because of his silence. One day, he meets Jun, a young diver addicted to the sea. With Jun's help, Ohno discovers another world where the silence is the most precious thing. Together, they learn another language: the language of the sea.
Chapter 9:
Jun bit his lips nervously, his right leg moving up and down worriedly. They arrived at hospital two hours ago and were waiting for a doctor to have some news about Ohno's state.
"What are they doing?!" Jun kept repeating since two hours.
"Calm down, J. He'll be alright." Nino wrapped his arm around his shoulders, laying his head on his.
"But they are too long!" Jun mumbled.
"I'm sure Ohchan will fight for you two." Nino kissed the tip of his nose and Jun hid his face in his neck, sighing deeply.
"Thanks for being here, Kaz'."
"Everything for you my J."
"I don't deserve a friend like you after everything I did to you," Jun whispered.
"We knew all this would most probably end up like that, it's not your fault if your heart doesn't love me." Nino sighed, sadly.
"I love you Kazu but..."
"Yes, I know, you love Ohchan more, I understand it even if I don't want to accept it." Nino cut off his friend with a smile. "But if one day you don't love Ohchan anymore, you know where I live."
Jun smiled sadly and pecked his lips before hugging him tightly. After one more hour, Yamapi came toward them.
"Jun-san?"
"Yes."
"We healed Ohno-san. I think he fell on the ground and his head hit the table and the floor very hard."
"And?"
"He's safe, he is asleep now, you can see him if you want he is in the bedroom 3104." Yamapi smiled.
"Thank you so much Yamapi!" Nino exclaimed.
"You're welcome, I really like Ohno-kun, I'm glad it wasn't a fatal injury."
Yamapi bowed and left.
Jun and Nino walked to Ohno's bedroom. The silent man was asleep, breathing slowly and Jun rushed toward him and took his hand to kiss his palm.
"I’ll leave you two alone and tell to Masaki and Sho he is safe. I'll come back tomorrow." Nino smiled.
"Thanks Kaz'." Jun grinned and the older left the room. "I was so worried my Toshi, I love you." Jun whispered and laid his head on the bed, falling asleep.
Ohno opened his eyes with difficulty. His head was hurting like hell but a smile appeared on his face when he saw Jun's head leaned on the bed while he was sleeping deeply. He stroked his cheek lovingly, shivering from the touch of the soft skin. Jun groaned and blinked. He raised his eyes, yawning loudly and his face shined in happiness when he saw Ohno's smile.
"Satoshi..." Jun hugged him tightly against his chest, laying lots of kisses on his head. "I thought I had lost you." Jun whispered and Ohno kissed his neck before the younger released him.
I'm sorry. Ohno said with his hands.
"It's not your fault. But why did you fall on the ground?" Jun asked and Ohno quickly turned his head away, shivering. "Satoshi?"
I slipped on the ground that's all.
"Liar. I know you, I can see when you lie to me."
I just slipped. Ohno explained stubbornly.
"Sato, you..."
"Ohayou!!!" Aiba rushed in the room, screaming loudly, a big smile on his face.
"Be quiet, I told you!" Sho smacked his head and Aiba pouted childishly.
"You're so mean, Sho-chan." Masaki stroked his head painfully. "Ohchan, I'm glad to see you, you look better!" The animal lover took Ohno's hands and Jun tried to push away the jealousy invading his heart.
Sho seemed to notice because a teasing smile spread his mouth.
Thank you for coming. Ohno wrote on a paper.
Aiba and Sho didn't understand sign language as well as his lover did and he still needed paper when he spoke to them.
"We’ve been worried sick about you." Sho smiled, patting his head as if Ohno was his baby. "But what happened?"
"I was asking him the same thing when you two rushed here. Masaki answered at your phone but the line cut immediately." Jun looked at his lover who blushed.
Ohno's eyes met Aiba's and the younger lowered his head. He knew, Ohno was sure. Aiba knew there was something to do with his past and Ohno felt grateful the younger didn't say anything.
I don't know, I'm very tired and I don't really remember what happened exactly.
Jun frowned but didn't answer. His boyfriend was hiding something from him but the diver didn't want to push him too far after this accident.
Ohno left the hospital two days later with his lover. They didn't speak about the accident even though Jun wanted to. Aiba and Sho stayed at Jun's apartment, Masaki didn't want to leave because of a mysterious reason and his lover agreed to stay with a sigh.
Jun blinked, feeling a strange warmth on his skin. He looked down and smiled. Ohno had buried his face in his neck and their legs were tangled. Delicately, he stroked his lover’s cheek. He felt so good like that, he hoped the time could stop and he would stay with Ohno forever. Jun closed his eyes to savor this precious moment and fell asleep in two minutes.
"Junnnn, Ohchan isn't in his bed, he disappeared!" Aiba exclaimed, opening the bedroom's door roughly and showing a worried face. Jun jumped and raised his head, sleepily. When Aiba saw Ohno in his best friend's arms, he stopped and smiled.
"What the fuck, are you crazy?! What are you doing in my bedroom, get out, Aibaka!" Jun snapped, anger rushing through his whole body.
"Gomen gomen, I thought Ohchan had disappeared but I see he is in a very good place, omedetou JunJun, you're a man!" Aiba laughed before leaving to escape from the pillow his friend was throwing in his direction.
"He is so impossible this fucking idiot!" Jun mumbled and blinked when he saw Ohno staring at him.
"Gomen, I woke you up. Good morning~" Jun smiled.
Good morning, Jun. The older wrote on his skin.
Jun grinned and kissed his lips lightly, hugging his lover tighter if it was possible. With happiness, Ohno stroked his cheek against the warm chest.
"I have to go, I have work today." The younger said while standing up.
Both took their boxers and tee-shirts and left the room. When they entered the kitchen, Aiba was there with Sho, a big smile on their faces.
"Why both of you are looking at us with those stupid faces?" Jun asked, still angry after the younger.
"Nothing. Good night?" Aiba smirked and Jun hesitated between killing him or just torturing this idiot.
"Masaki, don't tease Jun-kun." Sho said and the younger looked at him gratefully. "It's obvious they spent a good night, Jun showed an idiot smile and Ohchan too." Sho added and Jun sighed, rolling his eyes.
Sometimes, he asked himself what he did to Kami-sama to have two idiot best friends like them.
"Here, Ohchan, I made omurice!" Aiba exclaimed happily.
Ohno nodded, still blushing and sat next to him. They ate in silence if you didn't count Aiba who was speaking loudly as usual. When Jun decided to take a shower, he grabbed Ohno's hand and both went to the bathroom, Aiba and Sho looking at them with mocking smiles.
"Satoshi~" Jun moaned while he was kissing his lover passionately.
The silent man smiled, breathing heavily. He buried his face in Jun's neck and the younger lifted him up against the wall after he had prepared him.
"Oh, gosh, you're so tight, baby!" Jun gasped when he pushed his hard cock in Ohno's hole.
After a moment, his thrusts became faster, making Ohno scratch his nails at his skin, the pleasure invading his whole body. His legs wrapped around the younger's waist who was thrusting harder and faster, moaning his name in his ear. He slipped his hand between their bodies to stroke Ohno's member and after a moment, the two lovers came at the same time, Jun crying the sleepy man's name and Satoshi biting the skin of his neck, leaving a bright red mark of pleasure.
"Fuck, I don't want to go to work, now!" Jun panted and Ohno chuckled silently, his head on his shoulder.
When they left the bathroom, there was no sign of Sho and Aiba. Jun took his stuff for his diving's lesson. He had a lesson with a family and knew it would be boring because it was their first time. He turned round toward Ohno and caught his lips, passionately.
"I love you." Jun whispered, making his lover shiver.
****
The doorbell rang and Ohno stood up and opened it. When he saw the man in front of him, he froze.
"Ano~it's been a while, Ohno-san." The man bowed and Ohno let him enter.
"It was hard to find you." The man said, sitting on the sofa.
"Ohchan, can you..." Aiba began but stopped when he saw the man on the sofa. Ohno didn't hear him, his face showing fear, sadness and pain. Aiba stayed behind the door and listened.
"Ano~ I know you're not really happy to see me but it was very urgent. It's about Matsuda..." The man began and Aiba jumped when he heard the name. Matsuda...No, it was impossible! Not this name!!! He looked at Ohno's reaction. The sleepy man's face had turned to white and his whole body started to shake.
"Ohno-san, are you okay?" The man asked, worried but Ohno nodded and he continued.
"The judgment was yesterday and...they said there weren't enough proof against him that's why he'll leave the jail in a few days." The man said. "I'm so so sorry Ohno-san, I don't understand the judgment, it was obvious he's the culprit but...he is very powerful and I think he bribed the judge. I'm sorry, I'm a useless lawyer, I wasn't able to protect you, I..." Ohno cut him off. He took a paper and wrote something on it.
It's not your fault, you did great but he's too powerful. Thank you for your very good work.
The lawyer smiled sadly, tears filling his eyes.
"I'm so so sorry, I would like for him to pay for what he did to you this night but... Shit, I feel so angry!" The lawyer exclaimed. "Take care, Ohno-san, try to forget this horrible story and move on." He added before he stood up and moved toward the door. "Goodbye, Ohno-san."
They bowed and when Ohno closed the door, he fell on the ground, crying silently. Aiba ran toward him and hugged the sleepy man.
"Ohchan~ I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, this bastard deserves to die!" Aiba cried in Ohno's neck. The older smiled and stroked his cheek.
Don't worry, I'll be fine. He said silently.
After a while, he left the apartment and walked to the beach. Ohno sat down on the sand, looking at the sun shining on the waves. A tear rolled on his cheek. Matsuda. Judgment. Innocent. Release. No. It wasn't possible. It meant the previous call was true. Ohno didn't know how many time he watched the sea but when he came back, his lover was waiting for him, worried.
"Where were you, I was worried sick!" Jun exclaimed, angry.
Beach. Sorry. Ohno explained with his hands.
"You could have send me a message!" Jun snapped, ignoring Ohno's hurt look.
"Oi, Jun, he's sorry, give up. You're so mean, sometimes!" Aiba said while Ohno lowered his head.
"Sorry, Satoshi but I was worried." Jun apologized and the older smiled, hugging him tightly.
****
"Kaa-chan!!! Oto-chan!!!" Ohno shouted in pain. "Please, stop it!!!" Ohno begged.
"You're so good..." The man chuckled evilly.
Ohno woke up, shaking. Beats of wets were rolling on his face.
This dream. Again.
He stood up and ran to the bathroom. After he closed the door, he threw up, his hands were shaking. Tears rolled on his cheeks and he closed his eyes but a flash appeared in his mind. There was blood, so much blood and when he looked at his hands, he screamed silently. He was holding a knife, the same knife as this night.
He opened his eyes, breathing heavily. Everything around him was clean. No blood. No knife. He curled in a ball and cried, the pictures didn't want to leave, the tears didn't want to stop. He heard his voice laughing evilly, his own voice begging.
"Satoshi?!" Jun's voice called and the older stiffened. He saw Jun moving toward him, worried.
"Satoshi, what happened?" Jun asked and when he wanted to touch him, Ohno moved back, afraid. "Satoshi..." Jun whispered, surprised and when Ohno stared at him, he froze. Satoshi's eyes were empty, tears and fear were shining in his beautiful eyes. "Baby, what happened? Tell me, I can't help you if you stay like that." The younger tried to move toward him but Ohno stood up and ran away.
Satoshi brought his knees against his chest, rocking his body back and forth, crying silently.
"Satoshi." Jun kneeled down in front of him and the older buried his face in his arms. "Satoshi, what happened, tell me." Jun tried to touch his shoulder but Ohno moved violently as if his hand was burning. "Satoshi, please, don't do that to me again, don't reject me, I couldn't bear it once again." Jun's voice broke while tears were filling his eyes and Ohno raised his head, blinking. The older couldn't bear Jun's sadness, he hated to make his boyfriend suffer!
Jun... Ohno said desperately in silence and his lover wrapped him in his arms. Satoshi curled against him, crying silently and Jun soothed him, trying to calm him down and whispering comforting words. When Ohno's tears stopped, Jun carried him to their bed and stretched out next to him. The silent man buried his face against his chest, still shaking.
"What happened?" Jun repeated but Ohno didn't answer and tightened his grip around him before he fell asleep, exhausted.
****
"Ohchan, can we talk?" Aiba entered in Ohno's bedroom, closing the door behind him. The older was drawing something with a serious look but smiled and nodded when he saw his friend.
Ohno took the coffee his friend gave him and drank it quickly.
"Ohchan, Jun told me about yesterday night..." Aiba whispered. "You should tell him about your past!" He added, looking at Ohno who shook his head.
No, I can't. Ohno shook his head.
"Why? He is your boyfriend, he has the right to know it." Aiba said.
No. He'll reject me if he knows I'm a coward and dirtier than he can imagine.
"Don't say those horrible things, you're neither a coward nor dirty. He'll understand, he can help you, trust him!"
I... I can't.
"Ohchan, you’re suffering and Jun is too when he sees you like that, you have to tell him the truth...you..."
"What?! What does he have to say to me?" Jun asked, appearing in the bedroom. Aiba looked at Ohno who waved and lowered his head.
"Ohchan... If you can't, give him your notebook." Aiba tried.
"What notebook? What's that? Masaki, answer me!" Jun asked, anger invading his body.
"It's not me who should tell you but Ohchan." Aiba said before leaving.
"Satoshi?" Jun asked. Ohno looked at him with pleading eyes but his lover ignored it. He moved toward him and stroked his cheek. "It's about yesterday night? Tell me, honey, I can listen, trust me." Jun implored. Ohno stared at him and after an eternity (for Jun), nodded. He searched for his bag and took a blue notebook inside.
This is my past. Two years ago. Please, don't reject me.
Jun nodded and opened the book but he didn't know he would dive into the hell...
To be continued...
A/N: Well, sorry for the cut, I know everybody is waiting for Ohchan's past but... yes, I'm brecomming as sadic as JunJun... or not XDD sorry again, you'll discover Ohchan's past in the next chapter ^^ Thank you for all your lovely comments <3