STROM, we barely knew thee....
Strom Thrumond is dead. Who the fuck is next, Keith Richards?
Oh, dear God in Heaven...how can I have blind faith in an unfeeling deity who would rob us of such a healthy, alert, and supremely competent senator?
Look, I hate to look like a completely soul-less bucket of human waste, but somebody needs to say it, and since nobody's going to nominate me, I'll just take it upon my DAMN self.
FUCK STROM THURMOND, AND THE SLAVE-DRIVEN CART HE RODE IN ON.
But you know, for the sake of space, I won't even mention that his geriatric ass was once in the clan. There is nothing that I, a lowly nobody, could say about how IDIOTIC the clan is that hasn't already been said, so that would be kind of redundant.
So, I must explain that my hatred and outright loathsome attitude towards Strom, (a.k.a. Methuselah), was due to the fact that he is actually VOTING IN THE SENATE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT COUNTRY IN THE FREE WORLD, on issues that actually MATTER, and yet he can't even remember his WIFE'S NAME!!
Now, does this sound like the kind of person you want casting a vote that will decide if YOUR MONEY goes toward schools or not?
"Here strom, just sign right here, it's a good bill...we swear. Sign it, and then we'll take you in the lounge area so you can masturbate to "Murder She Wrote" for a little longer, mmmmkay?"
But instead, people feel SORRY for the old prick and let him hang around like the guy at the insurance office that nobody can bring themselves to fire, who swears that calculators are spying devices for the government. Remeber this tit-face? The guy that took 6 hours to calculate your yearly insurance rates, because he was using an abacus?
Well, let's just say that he and Strom used to hang out together and drink 40's while their buddies we're building Stonehenge.
Anyway, this is now turning into an anti-age rant, which I didn't want. Hell, I should BE so lucky to make it to 212, like my pal Strom. But if I do, (and with this raging crystal meth habit I've been cultivating, it'll be a miracle), I certainly don't expect people to stop progress just to sympathetically kiss my depends-wearing ass. Just push me into the corner of my nursing home, crank up the tunes and let me shake my Parkenson's riddled hands to it.
My point is that I love old people. Just keep them out of the senate. Or if they want to be in the senate, test them weekly on their wives names. That's usually a PRETTY good barometer for whether or not someone should be allowed to vote on whether or not we send troops off to die or not.
Strom Thurmond
1485-2003
R.I.P.
Oh, dear God in Heaven...how can I have blind faith in an unfeeling deity who would rob us of such a healthy, alert, and supremely competent senator?
Look, I hate to look like a completely soul-less bucket of human waste, but somebody needs to say it, and since nobody's going to nominate me, I'll just take it upon my DAMN self.
FUCK STROM THURMOND, AND THE SLAVE-DRIVEN CART HE RODE IN ON.
But you know, for the sake of space, I won't even mention that his geriatric ass was once in the clan. There is nothing that I, a lowly nobody, could say about how IDIOTIC the clan is that hasn't already been said, so that would be kind of redundant.
So, I must explain that my hatred and outright loathsome attitude towards Strom, (a.k.a. Methuselah), was due to the fact that he is actually VOTING IN THE SENATE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT COUNTRY IN THE FREE WORLD, on issues that actually MATTER, and yet he can't even remember his WIFE'S NAME!!
Now, does this sound like the kind of person you want casting a vote that will decide if YOUR MONEY goes toward schools or not?
"Here strom, just sign right here, it's a good bill...we swear. Sign it, and then we'll take you in the lounge area so you can masturbate to "Murder She Wrote" for a little longer, mmmmkay?"
But instead, people feel SORRY for the old prick and let him hang around like the guy at the insurance office that nobody can bring themselves to fire, who swears that calculators are spying devices for the government. Remeber this tit-face? The guy that took 6 hours to calculate your yearly insurance rates, because he was using an abacus?
Well, let's just say that he and Strom used to hang out together and drink 40's while their buddies we're building Stonehenge.
Anyway, this is now turning into an anti-age rant, which I didn't want. Hell, I should BE so lucky to make it to 212, like my pal Strom. But if I do, (and with this raging crystal meth habit I've been cultivating, it'll be a miracle), I certainly don't expect people to stop progress just to sympathetically kiss my depends-wearing ass. Just push me into the corner of my nursing home, crank up the tunes and let me shake my Parkenson's riddled hands to it.
My point is that I love old people. Just keep them out of the senate. Or if they want to be in the senate, test them weekly on their wives names. That's usually a PRETTY good barometer for whether or not someone should be allowed to vote on whether or not we send troops off to die or not.
Strom Thurmond
1485-2003
R.I.P.