In which I post some very personal views.
I've been somewhat AWOL from this journal, and for decidedly personal reasons. I'm going to express them here, but first, I feel the need to post a bit of a disclaimer.
The views expressed herein are extremely personal, and of a very sensitive nature, since they are expressed by a very sensitive person. People are free to disagree with them; I only ask for a certain level of respect and politeness toward them. If you feel the need to comment on something therein which displeases you, please stop for a moment and think about what you are planning to say. Please step away from the keyboard, if necessary, and get yourself a glass of iced tea or chocolate milk or your beverage of choice to refresh yourself. One thing that is not allowed here on this LiveJournal, are keyboard smash disagreements. It makes the poster look like an angry gorilla, and it makes me feel like a bad person for upsetting the poster and I start to question if I belong in this world.
Okay, that said...
On the question of gay marriage, I am on the fence. As Papa Midnite puts it in "Constantine", "I am Switzerland". And in my case, it's staying that way. If someone is bashing a married gay couple for being gay and being married, I would defend then as two human beings who have the right to be respected as human beings and treated with dignity and politeness and charity. I may have personal issues with the contract they entered, but I'm not going to tell it to their faces. I veer toward being against gay marriage, partly for religious reasons (though mind you, I'm not going to jump up and down and scream that any married gay couple is going to hell, that it's going to destroy society, blah-blah-blah; I just go with the Church's stance that it's not something that we allow within our belief system and within our rites since we have a strict moral code. Personally, I think Christians are getting waaaaay too political and we need to step back and get more holistically charitable.), but mostly for very personal reasons outside of that.
A few years back, I had this really nice, polite, well-groomed, well-dressed young guy in his late twenties or so (we'll call him Jay -- which is not his real name) who used to come through my lane at work. I'd started chatting with him and even commented on his appearance: "We need to clone you so we'll have more sharp-dressed men in this world", which he found amusing, and even quoted that ZZ Top song "Sharp-Dressed Man". He wasn't over-the-top good looking, but he made up for that in personality and personal maintenance. That and there were no visible rings on certain fingers, other than what I took for a chastity promise ring, which were popular at the time in certain circles. (Sidenote: I think they're a good idea, if a person can commit to it; it isn't the fault of the concept if some people are unable to hold steady with it. It just means the person needs to do a little more soul-searching and a little more growing, but then again, spiritual growth, however one defines it, is a lifetime process and there's going to be some bumps along the way, including the occasional pothole big enough to swallow a person. The problem isn't falling into it, the problem is getting out of it or having trouble getting out. And faulting a person in that situation is Kicking Them When They're Down, which no compassionate person of any belief system should do.).
I'd started to like Jay, and I got to the point when I was going to ask him out for tea or something, when I didn't see him for a week or so (and mind you, I saw him almost every day I worked; I figured he worked in one of the office-technological parks on the Tewksbury/Andover town lines and since he always showed up shortly after five, he was obviously picking up a few groceries before he went home). I started to worry about him, when he showed up again, but he wasn't alone: he was with a somewhat older gent (mid-to-late forties, also very nicely groomed), and I was tempted to ask if he'd brought along his dad to introduce us, when I noticed they were wearing matching wedding-band type rings, and these were not little thin bands: they were thick gold bands with intricate engravings. And I got a vibe of love and tenderness between them, which my senses just couldn't deny. I think I sputtered something to the cashier and excused myself; but I know I came back to myself huddled in a corner of the ladies' washroom, crying my eyes out. I remember wishing, "Why? Why not me? I don't look that feminine, at least till I peel, and even then he could always take me from behind so he doesn't have to look at my girl bits."
That was a few years back, when gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts: I still haven't gotten over Jay and his husband. I don't hate them, but I am deeply hurt and upset. I've pretty much gotten to the point where I stopped looking for someone to marry, but I have my days when I can't help thinking it might be nice to have someone to at least give me some economic stability, and who loves me for my intellect and my personality (Okay, yes, I've discovered that boy bits really give me the creeps and I really don't cotton to the idea of "things going into things", we'll call it.). But then I realize that the playing field got that much narrower, that I've got more to compete with than the busty blondes that most men supposedly like, that the bisexual ones could always opt for their own kind.
I'm also tired of hearing about the gay marriage debate. It's worse than movie hype that Won't Die Down. That and discussing it hits an emotional wound that's taking a long time to heal. This is why I carefully steer clear of debates of any kind on the topic. Any exposure just picks at the edges of that wound and any progress I've made toward healing just seems to get undone.
I'm not telling anyone to not discuss it. I only ask that people are balanced, rational and polite in their engagements. I don't like seeing anyone on either side of the issue get into froth at the mouth levels of anger about it for any reason. I cringe at the name-calling and the pointed-finger accusations that go on: it's childish at best, and at worst, it hurts the speaker's(s') credibility. It's just trigger-inducing for me, and that's why I generally scurry past people's posts on the topic without commenting on them. (If it's something about a couple being discriminated against, I'll pause to say a prayer for everyone involved, but I try not to go beyond reading the headlines, otherwise I get upset; that and some news writers tend to editorialize in ways that start getting triggery.).
I hope I haven't bored people or offended anyone. I know my views are not popular, and I accept that (hey, I'm in a fandom that's anything but popular, and one TV mini-series take on the main canon tends more or less to get routinely trashed by the Keepers of the Main Canon.). If people want to defriend me because of these views, I won't beg them not to: it's their choice and I respect it. I may be hurt by it, but I'd rather that they came to a compromise which they were comfortable with.
EDITED TO ADD: The above statement was in no way meant to imply that GLBT people are in any way, shape, or form, evil or sinful or anything of that nature. Since I'm bisexual myself, I'd have to imply that I'm evil (probably not, though I RP evil :: Laughs::), or a sinner (which I'd be the first to agree to being, and not just in small ways relating to sexuality, however I chose to express it: I could probably cut down on writing/reading slash fanfic, but that's more a venial sin of overdoing it on a good thing than anything else). I mentioned my religious views on the matter as a way to frame my point of reference. It was not intended to imply that Christianity is greater than any other religion, it was meant to show where I'm coming from in the matter. Nor was it meant to imply that moral codes of any one religion should be invoked in framing laws in this country. And if I say that I am overdosed hearing about a certain subject, it means What It Says On The Tin: I'm overdosed hearing about a subject; it is not telling anyone to sit down and shut up.
EDITED AGAIN: Comments have been locked (not disabled: I forgot those words apply to two different functions >.<) to defuse a tense discussion.
The views expressed herein are extremely personal, and of a very sensitive nature, since they are expressed by a very sensitive person. People are free to disagree with them; I only ask for a certain level of respect and politeness toward them. If you feel the need to comment on something therein which displeases you, please stop for a moment and think about what you are planning to say. Please step away from the keyboard, if necessary, and get yourself a glass of iced tea or chocolate milk or your beverage of choice to refresh yourself. One thing that is not allowed here on this LiveJournal, are keyboard smash disagreements. It makes the poster look like an angry gorilla, and it makes me feel like a bad person for upsetting the poster and I start to question if I belong in this world.
Okay, that said...
On the question of gay marriage, I am on the fence. As Papa Midnite puts it in "Constantine", "I am Switzerland". And in my case, it's staying that way. If someone is bashing a married gay couple for being gay and being married, I would defend then as two human beings who have the right to be respected as human beings and treated with dignity and politeness and charity. I may have personal issues with the contract they entered, but I'm not going to tell it to their faces. I veer toward being against gay marriage, partly for religious reasons (though mind you, I'm not going to jump up and down and scream that any married gay couple is going to hell, that it's going to destroy society, blah-blah-blah; I just go with the Church's stance that it's not something that we allow within our belief system and within our rites since we have a strict moral code. Personally, I think Christians are getting waaaaay too political and we need to step back and get more holistically charitable.), but mostly for very personal reasons outside of that.
A few years back, I had this really nice, polite, well-groomed, well-dressed young guy in his late twenties or so (we'll call him Jay -- which is not his real name) who used to come through my lane at work. I'd started chatting with him and even commented on his appearance: "We need to clone you so we'll have more sharp-dressed men in this world", which he found amusing, and even quoted that ZZ Top song "Sharp-Dressed Man". He wasn't over-the-top good looking, but he made up for that in personality and personal maintenance. That and there were no visible rings on certain fingers, other than what I took for a chastity promise ring, which were popular at the time in certain circles. (Sidenote: I think they're a good idea, if a person can commit to it; it isn't the fault of the concept if some people are unable to hold steady with it. It just means the person needs to do a little more soul-searching and a little more growing, but then again, spiritual growth, however one defines it, is a lifetime process and there's going to be some bumps along the way, including the occasional pothole big enough to swallow a person. The problem isn't falling into it, the problem is getting out of it or having trouble getting out. And faulting a person in that situation is Kicking Them When They're Down, which no compassionate person of any belief system should do.).
I'd started to like Jay, and I got to the point when I was going to ask him out for tea or something, when I didn't see him for a week or so (and mind you, I saw him almost every day I worked; I figured he worked in one of the office-technological parks on the Tewksbury/Andover town lines and since he always showed up shortly after five, he was obviously picking up a few groceries before he went home). I started to worry about him, when he showed up again, but he wasn't alone: he was with a somewhat older gent (mid-to-late forties, also very nicely groomed), and I was tempted to ask if he'd brought along his dad to introduce us, when I noticed they were wearing matching wedding-band type rings, and these were not little thin bands: they were thick gold bands with intricate engravings. And I got a vibe of love and tenderness between them, which my senses just couldn't deny. I think I sputtered something to the cashier and excused myself; but I know I came back to myself huddled in a corner of the ladies' washroom, crying my eyes out. I remember wishing, "Why? Why not me? I don't look that feminine, at least till I peel, and even then he could always take me from behind so he doesn't have to look at my girl bits."
That was a few years back, when gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts: I still haven't gotten over Jay and his husband. I don't hate them, but I am deeply hurt and upset. I've pretty much gotten to the point where I stopped looking for someone to marry, but I have my days when I can't help thinking it might be nice to have someone to at least give me some economic stability, and who loves me for my intellect and my personality (Okay, yes, I've discovered that boy bits really give me the creeps and I really don't cotton to the idea of "things going into things", we'll call it.). But then I realize that the playing field got that much narrower, that I've got more to compete with than the busty blondes that most men supposedly like, that the bisexual ones could always opt for their own kind.
I'm also tired of hearing about the gay marriage debate. It's worse than movie hype that Won't Die Down. That and discussing it hits an emotional wound that's taking a long time to heal. This is why I carefully steer clear of debates of any kind on the topic. Any exposure just picks at the edges of that wound and any progress I've made toward healing just seems to get undone.
I'm not telling anyone to not discuss it. I only ask that people are balanced, rational and polite in their engagements. I don't like seeing anyone on either side of the issue get into froth at the mouth levels of anger about it for any reason. I cringe at the name-calling and the pointed-finger accusations that go on: it's childish at best, and at worst, it hurts the speaker's(s') credibility. It's just trigger-inducing for me, and that's why I generally scurry past people's posts on the topic without commenting on them. (If it's something about a couple being discriminated against, I'll pause to say a prayer for everyone involved, but I try not to go beyond reading the headlines, otherwise I get upset; that and some news writers tend to editorialize in ways that start getting triggery.).
I hope I haven't bored people or offended anyone. I know my views are not popular, and I accept that (hey, I'm in a fandom that's anything but popular, and one TV mini-series take on the main canon tends more or less to get routinely trashed by the Keepers of the Main Canon.). If people want to defriend me because of these views, I won't beg them not to: it's their choice and I respect it. I may be hurt by it, but I'd rather that they came to a compromise which they were comfortable with.
EDITED TO ADD: The above statement was in no way meant to imply that GLBT people are in any way, shape, or form, evil or sinful or anything of that nature. Since I'm bisexual myself, I'd have to imply that I'm evil (probably not, though I RP evil :: Laughs::), or a sinner (which I'd be the first to agree to being, and not just in small ways relating to sexuality, however I chose to express it: I could probably cut down on writing/reading slash fanfic, but that's more a venial sin of overdoing it on a good thing than anything else). I mentioned my religious views on the matter as a way to frame my point of reference. It was not intended to imply that Christianity is greater than any other religion, it was meant to show where I'm coming from in the matter. Nor was it meant to imply that moral codes of any one religion should be invoked in framing laws in this country. And if I say that I am overdosed hearing about a certain subject, it means What It Says On The Tin: I'm overdosed hearing about a subject; it is not telling anyone to sit down and shut up.
EDITED AGAIN: Comments have been locked (not disabled: I forgot those words apply to two different functions >.<) to defuse a tense discussion.