Ramblings of a Filthy Mind
Riiiight. Well. Where to begin, eh? There's so much to put in here that I have no idea where to start, but the begining seems like a decent enough place, so why not.
A couple of weeks ago, we had a memorial service for mum. So many people came, from so many different walks of life, I was utterly stunned. I did a small speech, nothing major, but talking as yourself, without having to act, in front of about 150 people is harder than it looks. We had a collection for the Down's Syndrome Association at the end of the service. We got over £1100, all told. I still don't believe it, to be honest. The ammount of people walking past dropping in £20 notes was incredible.
Since then, I haven't been able to sleep. Getting to sleep is nigh impossible, and even when I do, I wake at the slightest noise. I've not usually had nightmares, but I tend to wake myself up thrashing about. This leads to me having roughly the appearance of a zombie for most of the time, as I get about two and half odd hours of sleep a night. This isn't helped by the imminant four night show extravaganza that is the performance of My Fair Lady. 10th-13th. Four nights of dancing and singing infront of sell-out crowds. Almost my dream.
As if I wasn't stressed out enough already, Dad's just told me he wants to get remarried to a woman called Jeanette. I like her well enough, and I don't have a problem with Dad getting remarried, as I know no one will ever even come close to replacing Mum, but it just seems so soon... He doesn't exactly want to do it in the near future though. At the moment, the plan is this summer, so I've got just short of a year to get used to the idea. Also, if he does, they would buy a house in Derbyshire together, as it's the best county in the country for special needs schools. I don't want to move to Derbyshire, which basically means I have to have a flat and be living on my own by March or April. That would be a feat, eh? Living alone when I'm barely 18. Go me.
Stressed as I am, I'm still pretty cheerful. I haven't let it get to me, because if I do, I know I will fuck up so royally that I might as well just give up on University or anything for the next few years.
A couple of weeks ago, we had a memorial service for mum. So many people came, from so many different walks of life, I was utterly stunned. I did a small speech, nothing major, but talking as yourself, without having to act, in front of about 150 people is harder than it looks. We had a collection for the Down's Syndrome Association at the end of the service. We got over £1100, all told. I still don't believe it, to be honest. The ammount of people walking past dropping in £20 notes was incredible.
Since then, I haven't been able to sleep. Getting to sleep is nigh impossible, and even when I do, I wake at the slightest noise. I've not usually had nightmares, but I tend to wake myself up thrashing about. This leads to me having roughly the appearance of a zombie for most of the time, as I get about two and half odd hours of sleep a night. This isn't helped by the imminant four night show extravaganza that is the performance of My Fair Lady. 10th-13th. Four nights of dancing and singing infront of sell-out crowds. Almost my dream.
As if I wasn't stressed out enough already, Dad's just told me he wants to get remarried to a woman called Jeanette. I like her well enough, and I don't have a problem with Dad getting remarried, as I know no one will ever even come close to replacing Mum, but it just seems so soon... He doesn't exactly want to do it in the near future though. At the moment, the plan is this summer, so I've got just short of a year to get used to the idea. Also, if he does, they would buy a house in Derbyshire together, as it's the best county in the country for special needs schools. I don't want to move to Derbyshire, which basically means I have to have a flat and be living on my own by March or April. That would be a feat, eh? Living alone when I'm barely 18. Go me.
Stressed as I am, I'm still pretty cheerful. I haven't let it get to me, because if I do, I know I will fuck up so royally that I might as well just give up on University or anything for the next few years.