Four Years Ago Today ...

[matopa]

Four years ago today, we lost our father and my mother lost her soul mate. Not a day goes by, where I do not miss him--some days a lot more than others--but the ache is always there in my heart. It's a wound that I will live with forever, and while time changes the intensity of the ache, it will never disappear. He was a man with few words, but when he spoke, he meant what he said. He was a man with a tough exterior for most of his life, but he had a heart of gold ... a heart of love, compassion, and honesty. A heart that not many were lucky enough to glimpse but those of us who were are now stricken by the loss of that light. As we got older, and perhaps the stress of raising three children lessened to a different degree (we were now adults and responsible --mostly--for ourselves), he began to let go a little of that rigidity and laughed more ... smiled more ... GOD I MISS THAT SMILE! He had a quirky sense of humor (see the image where he's trying to --teasingly--push my mom through the window with the wheelbarrow), but I would never have changed him...ever. He was the perfect father. He taught us right from wrong ... he taught us mistakes had consequences and he taught to is carefully think through life-altering changes that we wished to make (new car, a future home, etc.). While the perfect father, he was not perfect, and neither am I, and he taught me that was OKAY too. We all make mistakes, but it's how we learn from them that shows us who and what we are capable of. My father was (and still is) loved by many and I know that not a day goes by that those who knew him and loved him ... miss him so damn much! And in a cruel world, where cancer destroys beautiful families --loving families--with a twist of fate that forever changes their lives ... I can now (four years later), finally look at photos of my dad and while I do tear up, it's from the happy memories we had and there were so damn many. I love you so much dad... and miss you with all my heart. I pray that you can see us now, and are able to enjoy from where you are, that you have a grandbaby who loves you too! ❤️









(Apologies that's a blob of a paragraph ... I just wrote out my emotions). A 'life update' post incoming with Amalia Videos/pics.