Love
Well...last night was....eventful. I was talking to Angie about if it was ok to say love for the first on AIM. She said yeah.....coached me through it a bit but it didnt stop ne from completely freaking and not saying anything to Joel for like a half an hour. Finally, I was able to get it in the little typing box...but dammit...I couldn't press enter...so I asked for her encouragement....I wasnt scared to say it...I was scared that he wouldnt reciprocate. But anyway.. I pushed enter and completely panicked...xed out of the conversation and closed the laptop...and shoved my head in a pillow. I sat there freaking out....excited, anxious, nervous, worried, and terrified all at the same time... after a sec I peeked under to see what he sent back...HE SAID HE LOVED ME TOO!! I felt sooo much better...cause it was about time one of us said it when not having sex or being high. The rest of the night we just talked about random stuff...it was great. But now of course Im worried that maybe I forced him into it...I mean he wouldnt want to hurt my feelings...hmmmm...or Im just paranoid cause the last time I let someone know how I felt they dumped me out of no where...IDK...