Sep 17, 2013 15:05
I am more and more worried about my mental health. On sunday morning only having a friend stopped me from crying before going to work. Yesterday something happened. Suddenly I didn't giv a a darn about work anymore. I worked, and I'll still work, and I know I'll feel bad,(already yesterday I had a bit of paranoia), but I am detached.It's like my last days at Ofsted: a mess of too many emotions and don't give a darn.
To be able to recover, or at least try it, I'll need at least 2 weeks off, but I am not sure it would help. I really need to talk to my doctor tomorrow, to see if we can tweak my medication (I am even willing to try depakin again) to help.
Knowing where I am and what's coming should help, but my illness is an unability to control emotions so It's gonna be fun. For sure if I manage to survive this period it will help my self esteem a lot. It would mean that I am able to do and to be and to control at least in part this illness.
Today I am home I slept till 1pm and I plan on an early night. Tomorrow I have a long day in front of me and I want to enjoy my sleep while I can.
health & safety