What I [Would] Do
Part of me wants to make this post really short: "Huh, good question. I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out." It's a good thing Sunflowerakb is blogging along with me; I feel like I have to actually try to work this out.
I've been tutoring, this fall, not making enough to make ends meet but at least slowing the drain on my savings account. (Living on about half of my former salary was genius, by the way.) Business has picked up a bit, of late, because it is November and because I'm happy to take on geometry; I've thought of trying to seek out enough clients to pay all of my bills. I'd only need about twelve appointments per week, and I keep thinking I could probably break into the homeschool market for some daytime work. (Or not, because I'd tell their parents to send them to community college.) But then I have days like a recent one, where a parent made some [kind of] unreasonable demands, and I spent a day playing phone-tag only to discover that there was in no way a job attached. I mean, I'd still take the Privileged job in a heartbeat, but it would all probably end nothing like the way the book did.
I actually have a temp job lined up for the first few months of next year. I can't say much about it yet (actually, I don't know much about it yet), but I'll drop the hint that I'm working for my favorite employer of all time, in a tangential sort of way. I get to wear sweatpants. I may really like it, but that may be because it won't last.
Right now, I wish I could be looking for a longer-term temporary job. Sometimes I look longingly at the ads for the Peace Corps. Sometimes I think about going to an information session, but then I remember that I'm not a big fan of living in second-world countries. (Not sure how I'd do in the third world.) Also, undoubtedly I would be teaching or teaching about teaching, if they found any use for me at all, and that's really not the sort of help the world needs. I think about Americorps, sometimes. I might be maladjusted enough for Americorps, but I also might be too old (I can't figure out if they have age limits). Right now, I think that I'd be trying for this sort of thing if it was what I actually wanted. Since the appealing part is "running away" rather than "selflessly aiding humanity," I'm pretty sure I don't want it enough.
Secret? I love some of the things I'm studying for the actuarial exams. I wish I'd learned these things in college, because I'd like to discuss them with someone who both can understand and finds them fresh and new. (Not that I necessarily would have known such a person in college.) I spent an hour at my bank, discussing various investment options, their structure, and the ramifications of each type with a broker. (Yes, I bought some.) It was fun, like tutoring can be; I had to think on my feet, constantly analyze what questions to ask and what information was necessary. I like the concept of risk management; I like new problems and thinking them through. I like the action that's required. I have no idea if that's what being an actuary is actually like, but the ones I know seem to love what they do (and have time to do other things).
It's going to be a long time before I feel like I can love a job again. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable letting what I do for a living define who I am. (Yes, a bigger person would have used this topic to address the often-posed question, "What Went Wrong?" I'll remind you that none of the questioners really wanted an answer.) For purposes of resume stability, it would be best if, before too long, I was working a "real" job again. For purposes of my own stability, I'm grateful for the space I've been able to make.
I’m blogging along with http://sunflowerakb.blogspot.com/sunflowerakb today (and several times this month). Check out what she’d be!
I've been tutoring, this fall, not making enough to make ends meet but at least slowing the drain on my savings account. (Living on about half of my former salary was genius, by the way.) Business has picked up a bit, of late, because it is November and because I'm happy to take on geometry; I've thought of trying to seek out enough clients to pay all of my bills. I'd only need about twelve appointments per week, and I keep thinking I could probably break into the homeschool market for some daytime work. (Or not, because I'd tell their parents to send them to community college.) But then I have days like a recent one, where a parent made some [kind of] unreasonable demands, and I spent a day playing phone-tag only to discover that there was in no way a job attached. I mean, I'd still take the Privileged job in a heartbeat, but it would all probably end nothing like the way the book did.
I actually have a temp job lined up for the first few months of next year. I can't say much about it yet (actually, I don't know much about it yet), but I'll drop the hint that I'm working for my favorite employer of all time, in a tangential sort of way. I get to wear sweatpants. I may really like it, but that may be because it won't last.
Right now, I wish I could be looking for a longer-term temporary job. Sometimes I look longingly at the ads for the Peace Corps. Sometimes I think about going to an information session, but then I remember that I'm not a big fan of living in second-world countries. (Not sure how I'd do in the third world.) Also, undoubtedly I would be teaching or teaching about teaching, if they found any use for me at all, and that's really not the sort of help the world needs. I think about Americorps, sometimes. I might be maladjusted enough for Americorps, but I also might be too old (I can't figure out if they have age limits). Right now, I think that I'd be trying for this sort of thing if it was what I actually wanted. Since the appealing part is "running away" rather than "selflessly aiding humanity," I'm pretty sure I don't want it enough.
Secret? I love some of the things I'm studying for the actuarial exams. I wish I'd learned these things in college, because I'd like to discuss them with someone who both can understand and finds them fresh and new. (Not that I necessarily would have known such a person in college.) I spent an hour at my bank, discussing various investment options, their structure, and the ramifications of each type with a broker. (Yes, I bought some.) It was fun, like tutoring can be; I had to think on my feet, constantly analyze what questions to ask and what information was necessary. I like the concept of risk management; I like new problems and thinking them through. I like the action that's required. I have no idea if that's what being an actuary is actually like, but the ones I know seem to love what they do (and have time to do other things).
It's going to be a long time before I feel like I can love a job again. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable letting what I do for a living define who I am. (Yes, a bigger person would have used this topic to address the often-posed question, "What Went Wrong?" I'll remind you that none of the questioners really wanted an answer.) For purposes of resume stability, it would be best if, before too long, I was working a "real" job again. For purposes of my own stability, I'm grateful for the space I've been able to make.
I’m blogging along with http://sunflowerakb.blogspot.com/sunflowerakb today (and several times this month). Check out what she’d be!