A Hunting I Will Go...

[mathias_danmark]

"A hunting I will go, hi-ho the dairy-oh a hunting I will go." Mads sang in the brisk morning air as he approached Tino and Berwald's hut and banged obnoxiously on the door. "WAKE UP SVENK, Short-Stuff! Today we bring back food for squaws and little braves."

Tino's groggy voice could be heard from within. "You better be calling me Little Brave

Comments

[siguard_norge]

Siguard blinked over at his spouse, the reddish-blond facial hair having already consumed the Dane's face... no where near as thickly as Berwald's face-thicket, but certainly better than the patchy fuzz on Gilbert's face. Linus was surprising everyone, he had the second manliest beard of the bunch. Siguard placed a palm on his own cheek... completely hairless. He never really shaved. He knew Tino scrapped the thin little fluff off his face every few weeks... but Siguard had never really shaved with any real seriousness in his life... damn hyper present feminine forces from Titania running through his veins.

"I think it probably all of the above. And the consistent factor of our lovers being idiots." The Norwegian sighed out his nose and plopped another spoonful of porridge in Eduard's bowl as the Dane seemed preoccupied with flicking an egg-bit or two in the German's general direction. Linus had relocated to a safer place to eat beside Berwald and Tino while Eeva scurried around. Smiling and winking and being generally much happier about the day and life than she had the day before. Oh the joys of the cramp being past.

"Hey, no problem Cousin." She winked at Berwald. He might as well be called as such, he was family.

[berwaldsverige]

Berwald's eyes twinkled as Eeva scurried about and he turned to Linus. "It must be a Swedish thing. Growing manly beards by just being in fresh air." Berwald chuckled, elbowing Linus in the ribs jovially.

"Unlike Pathetic German Peach Fuzzers and RED DANES!" Berwald teased louder waggling his eyebrows, provoking Mads for the Rude awakening this morning.

[darth_eduard]

"Hey! Screw you, Schwede!" Gilbert retorted, feeling around his chin at the scant bit of white fuzz. "It's better than looking like a caveman!" At that he tore off a soggy chunk from his trencher and flicked it over at Berwald.

Looking around at the varying stages of beard growth on nearly everyone present, Eduard felt at his own chin. While he was usually unable to grow anything short of the barest hint of light blond fuzz he still felt the need to maintain a good, close, shave. He happened to be fairly particular when it came to personal hygiene which drove him to sneak off to the smithy the day before and fashion himself a small shaving razor. It's not like there was much to shave off anyway, but he felt considerably better with a clean, smooth face.

Looking over at his boyfriend's ridiculous morning antics, Eduard's face warmed with a smile he didn't even realize he had. "Jaa, idiots. They certainly are that." He agreed, savouring another another taste of oatmeal. "But it is well worth it as well."

[mathias_danmark]

Eeva took this time to interject. "No food throwing." She scolded, taking an unused wooden spoon and bopping both Mads and Gilbert (the primary offenders) on the head with it. "Don't waste food like that, we're living simply during this vacation and we will NOT be wasting food, especially food other people prepared for you. Have I made myself clear?" She questioned with a glower, her face looking like an exact mirror of Tino's when he was huffy, as she patted the bowl of the spoon against an open palm.

"Yes ma'am." Mads blushed, rubbing the spot on his head. Yeah, he deserved that.

Linus simply smiled at his girlfriend's ability, despite being so tiny, to command an entire room of rowdy testosterone crazed Northern-European men. He took the opportunity to answer Berwald. "I spent all yesterday in and out of the sauna and the lake. Extreme heat and cold is tempering my facial hair. I'm going to have a beard of blond steel wool by the end of vacation." He laughed in jest.

"You can both suck my Dane-Balls." Mads retorted, scratching at his offending Conan O'Brien facial fuzz. "This face-bush'll be gone as soon as we get home. But the time the Svenk is done his beard will be so long Eeva'll be braiding shit in it."

[berwaldsverige]

"That's because I'm of real Viking Stock and not some Dane Wannabe." Berwald teased with a wink.

"And Eeva will be too busy braiding her own man's beard. Tino will have to deal with mine until we go home and I shave off the polar bear clinging to my chin." Berwald chuckled finishing his food and getting up for a second helping of porridge.

[darth_eduard]

"Scheiße!" Gilbert grumbled, rubbing the spot on his head where Eeva had hit him. "Calm your tits, ja? No more throwing stuff. Got it, Frau Kommandant." He joked, grinning at her with an impish glint in his red eyes.

Before Eeva could discipline the mischief-making albino any further, Eduard stepped in, laying a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Ummm, Gil. You might want to try and stop while you're ahead. I would kind of enjoy a boyfriend whose vital regions are still intact by the end of the night. If you think Ti and I were ruthless at the NERF fight, you've got another thing coming." The Estonian set his trencher down on the table in his former spot and sat down next to Gilbert once again, sneaking a kiss on his fuzzy, pale cheek. Their free hands linked together loosely between them. "Forgive him his faults, E. He is a turakas and he knows not what he says sometimes." Eduard apologized on his boyfriend's behalf, offering Eeva a smile of understanding.

((Turakas= "fool" in Estonian))

[tino_suomi]

Mads snorted. "I am just as pure stock as you dickhead. You're just a hairy fucking troll and Linus is... I dunno... I don't know what's wrong with you Linus."

"I've always been hairy if I didn't shave every day. Even the hair on my head grows really fast."

"See, AND he's not a fucking Swede. He's a Finn who primary speaks Swedish."

Tino just rolled his eyes and ate his porridge, letting the Swedish and Danish war continue to rage over the table.

Meanwhile Eeva downed the spoon that she was prepared to whack (jokingly) Gilbert with again at Eduard's request. "Okay, because my best friend interjected, I won't whack him again." But she did start poking the albino in the abs with the spoon. "You, German. I'm guessing you don't often have women cooking for you, I'm gonna tell you now, you play nice with the woman feeding you. If not you end up with too much pepper in your food." She winked dangerously with a smiled and waddled on off in the heavy skirts to make some more eggs and bacon for some of the still hungry vikings.

[berwaldsverige]

"If he speaks Swedish, he's Honorary-Swedish in my book. Which makes him awesome and Eeva's tastes impeccable." Berwald joked as he finished his meal and started collecting bowls and flatware to scrub.

"I also never claimed not to be a dickhead. My day isn't complete if I don't fight with you everyday." Berwald added, sticking his wet finger in Mads ear giving him a wet willy to start the day.

[darth_eduard]

Gilbert let out a bit of a noise when faced with the spoon jabbing against his ribs from Eeva. The muscles of a large part of his body were still giving him a hard time from the workouts he'd been putting himself through in the early mornings, and she seemed to be able to sense it in her own witchy sort of way by trying to make him squirm as much as possible. The two of them seemed to end up giving one another a hard time almost as much as Berwald and Mads tended to. Gilbert was beginning to see just what they were all warning him about in regards to the finn women. "Crazy bitch..." the albino grumbled as he finally dug into his breakfast. "No wurst either..."

"So Berwald," Eduard chimed in, gesturing with his spoon. "By your logic, since I can speak Mandalorian, that makes me an honorary soldier of Mandalore and thusly completely and epicly badass?" Eduard shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows approvingly. "Jaa, I'll accept that. Linus, it seems we've both benefited from this twist of Swedish logic. The day is off to a good start then, wouldn't you say?"

[tino_suomi]

"I can hear you!" She laughed, assuming a fencing position with her spoon and returning to attempting to tickle the German with it. "I will proudly accept the title of crazy bitch, thank you very much." She was really coming to enjoy harassing the German. He had to come to understand that it would now be worse than it was when she didn't like him... now she liked him. Before she would only half bother with him... now he was a pseudo-friend... now he was fresh meat for teasing and harassing like she did to Eduard, Berwald and Tino.

Tino piped in. "I don't see what's wrong with being Finnish. As though being Swedish automatically makes you bad ass? I don't see any of you able to take down an enemy from 500 yards away. You don't even have that kind of range Eduard, though of you guys here you're probably the closest in skill to me. AND," He enunciated. "AND if language makes you an honorary something we are all honorary Brits/Americans and you and you," He indicated Berwald and Eduard. "Are also honorary Finns." He smiled smugly. "You both speak Finnish as fluently as Eeva and me. And I am therefore an honorary Eesti."

[berwaldsverige]

"The can of worms, she has been opened." Berwald chuckled as he washed dishes and stacked them to dry.

Once finished he sat back down and waited until everyone had finished breakfast. Taking a sharpening stone to the spear and arrow heads he had made earlier, making sure they were securely affixed to their shafts. It would not due to find a wild boar and have it NOT DIE when you struck it, because they would then turn around and gore the shit out of your legs.

But they made for an awesome roast if they managed to find one.

[darth_eduard]

"Verdammt!" Gilbert shifted and squirmed at the repeated spoon to the ribs. Eeva had somehow discovered something that only Eduard, Francis, and Gilbert's own family knew...he was more than a bit ticklish around the middle. Truth be told, he actually would go so far as to consider the crazy finn-witch Eeva a friend. Gilbert never really had much association with females throughout his life in any greater capacity than a long series of sordid flings and instances of drunken debauchery, so for Eeva to get in past the German's outer shell and gain the safety of permanent "friend zone" was quite the feat. That, however, landed her in the same boat as Mads and Berwald though in regards to heckling and pranks. Nothing was safe now. Especially not his ribs. "Keep this up and you'll have to find somebody else to run into town next time." The albino scooted away from another jab, squeezing in close to the potential safety of his boyfriend's side.

"I do agree with you on most of that, Ti." Eduard agreed with his 'brother'. "This COULD all get out of hand if we continued to follow this train of slightly skewed logic. We would all be such mutts that not even Cesar Milan would be able to tell what we were." Eduard was distracted a moment as Gilbert and Eeva's horsing around drove Gilbert to latch onto him. "Oh, and Ti...with that trebuchet I made the scale model for yesterday morning, I might just be able to match your distance. Provided I set it accurately enough. We may have to test it sometime."

[tino_suomi]

Eeva just smiled and stopped for a second before speaking. "You'd be that vindictive? To leave a woman, her uterus's inner lining stripping away? Painfully? In a freezing cold shit-shack? That's cruel. I don't think you would." She teased, instead of tickling him now using the spoon to mess with his hair. Not caring that Eduard was right there. When did Eduard being right there ever stop her from messing with Tino? Or vice versa?

Tino, meanwhile, raised an eyebrow to Eduard's claim. "Really? Okay, matching distance and accuracy at the same time though is challenging. I propose, if you ever get it up and running, we'll do a test. I don't care if it out distances me, but if we get to a distance point where it is still more accurate than I am? I will take off my hat and bow down before your brilliance on one humbled knee and I will GIVE you my silver medal." He promised. "But until such time? I'm still the superior range-man." He winked at his 'brother' hopefully the challenge of humbling the best Vainamoinen archer, and the proud owner of the Hetalia Academy Silver Medal for Sharp Shooting (Basche Zwingli, of course, held the gold) would be a motivating factor for Eduard.

[berwaldsverige]

"Just neither of you shoot me and I'll be happy." Berwald muttered as he stacked arrows in Tino's quiver.

"Are we about ready? Sun is coming up and we need to get going if we want to be back in time to butcher the quarry before sundown. That is if we can even find anything. We are sadly a bunch of pampered pussies used to hunting meat in the supermarket." He added with mirth as he handed out spears to the "rabble" going hunting.

[darth_eduard]

"If you keep at me with that damned spoon, I would. That is, if it wouldn't land me in the doghouse, sleeping in an empty bed." Gilbert vainly attempted to swat the spoon and Eeva's hands away from his head. "You're lucky you've got Birdie on your side. Although if you keep fucking with me like this you might wake up one morning to find your clothes floating in the middle of the lake." Then it was Eduard's turn to give Gilbert a good bop on the head.

"Halt den mund!" Eduard half whispered to his boyfriend in his own language. As far as Eduard knew, nobody but the two of them spoke any German, although he hadn't really bothered inquiring lately. He wasn't about to let slip though that he had been planning just such a prank on his longtime friend. They had played much more impish and devious pranks on one another over the years. "Geben Sie nicht weg mein plan, Gilbert!"

Eduard then laughed and offered Tino a smile. "Ei, Ti. You are the sharpshooter among us. I don't plan to rival you on that, but I am fairly certain this device could at least achieve a similar distance. I have the prototype crafted. I simply need assistance in cutting the larger sections of wood and fastening everything together."

[tino_suomi]

"I'm ready." Came a chorus of Tino and Mads' voices as Gilbert and Eduard were fighting with the spoon wielding She-Demon that was Eeva.

Tino picked up his bow and the shoulder strap of his quiver and smiled at Eduard. "I bet you could get my husband to help you with some of the construction if you asked him nicely. He's a honey Bear, 'please' and 'thank you's go a long way with him." The young Finn chortled.

"You coming a-hunting with us Linus?" Tino invited jovially.

"Um, no. But thank you. I don't have the kind of stomach for it I don't think. I can eat it, maybe help cook it, but I can't kill or clean it."

"There's no shame in that. I was just telling Berwald earlier that if I shoot I'm aiming to kill as quickly as possible and with as little pain. I think if I leave an animal suffering I'll just burst into tears myself." Tino offered, to make Linus feel a little better about not having a killer's stomach. If anything, Tino did admire how readily Linus could confess to just not having the heart to do it. Sure, the Dane and German would probably tease him later for being 'soft' but it's something that Tino saw in the older boy. Linus was gentle, through and through. He he a gentle soul to match his gentle heart and Tino knew then and there that he really hoped Eeva's relationship with him panned out. He'd like Linus to be a part of their family.