who are you? (who am i?)
who are you? (who am i?)
PG-13 (7,063 words) ; sungyeol-centric ; gen, angst, suicide, cutting
beta-ed by aurelynn
The blinding white screen is staring back at him, features illuminating the darkness as his lips are pursed and his index finger is on his mouse, tapping relentlessly but without sound. His head is bobbing to the music playing through his black earphones, mouth forming words to the melody. There’s a gleam of silver by the laptop, as if, lying in wait to attack someone. The room is silent and his eyes are darting around, black pupils dilated and there’s fear imminent in them.
There’s grey underneath his black eyes, exhaustion seeping into his bones with every ticking of the hand of the clock. His mouth opens to form a yawn, lyrics breaking and his finger taps on his mouth and then, there’s a ‘thud!’ and his arms are perched on top of the computer, eyes closed and there’s a hint of a snore escaping.
Sleep consumes him immediately, even though he doesn’t want to meet the darkness.
dream one
He wakes up in a different environment. He’s leaning against a comfortable cushioned chair, there’s a pillow supporting him from behind. He feels a tap on his shoulder, head instinctively turning. The figure in front of him is a blur, identity unknown, but the person’s name comes to his head a second later.
“You have a home, don’t you, Sungyeol-ah? It’s not like you have an assignment to do right now,” the male states, eyes and lips crinkling together to form perfect crescents and Sungyeol shrugs.
“No idea, really, I just, kinda, fell asleep.” Sungyeol can’t help but form a sheepish smile on his face as Sunggyu walks up to him, shakes his head and pats Sungyeol on the head. Sungyeol’s attention is diverted when he hears a song resonate in the empty office and Sunggyu fishes out his phone, tapping at the green button before placing it against his ear.
Sungyeol doesn’t need to know who called, he recognizes the ringtone that comes from Sunggyu’s superiors (the assignment givers); his hands are already moving to shove the files into his drawers and he feels the excitement coursing through his veins.
“Well, what’d you know? An assignment is here, doesn’t seem too easy though, but that’s what you like, don’t you? You like your assignments tough.” There’s a teasing smile on Sunggyu’s face as Sungyeol nods, and they walk out of the office.
There are photographs on the whiteboard, professionally taken and every detail of the crime was photographed and Sungyeol can’t help but wince at the gore. Parts of the body were brutally removed, looking like as if they had been eaten away, and the bloody raw red flesh was a stark contrast to the pure white floor. It was a murder, having taken place at the victim’s own apartment and brutally executed. The body was found three days after the kill had taken place, reported by the neighbor after the scent of the rotting flesh infiltrated his house and he realized that the victim hadn’t stepped out of his house for several days.
“No strange person has been reported to be seen around the vicinity and the thing is, when we contacted the security guards, they gave us the most bullshit statement. The surveillance cameras that are installed in every floor are fake; the developer didn’t have the money to build actual ones. So, we don’t have any leads to who could have possibly murdered this person. As for the victim, these are his details,” Sunggyu’s superior, Tablo, the highest ranked official in their department states in a professional tone as the current PowerPoint slide at the back changes.
There’s a pause as Sungyeol absorbs the words visually and he thinks that he has heard the name before. He watches Tablo take a gulp before he continues. “Name is Lee Jinseok, 24, works as a nurse at Kyunghee Medical Centre, single and from what we know from his neighbors, he lives alone, he comes from Busan and he appears to be friendly with everyone and helps even people he doesn’t know.”
“Although we don’t have any leads on who the killer is, there was a case a few years back that we eventually dropped because we didn’t have any clues nor the time to continue pursuing the case. The closest lead that we ever got was that it was a 21-year-old male who did the kill and he appears to look something like this.” The PowerPoint slide switches to another, a huge photograph of the suspect occupying the space.
“I’m assigning Sunggyu to lead this assignment,” Tablo states as he pushes the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose and Sunggyu nods. “Joining him will be Woohyun, Dongwoo, Howon and Sungyeol.” As soon as those four names were mentioned, heads perked up and there are professional and determined looks in their eyes; they nod as well.
“Do whatever you can to catch this criminal. Only when there is justice, can there be peace and that is the motto that each and every one of you should carry within your hearts.”
Sungyeol leans into the brown, leather seat in the car as he muses to himself, watching the other members of the team and he realizes, though they had been on the same team, he didn’t really know them. He’s squished in the back together with Howon and Dongwoo; Dongwoo is like a living Energizer Bunny and Howon is calm and his personality is a stark contrast to Dongwoo and it actually seems to fit with Dongwoo’s. Woohyun is in the front, a cheesy grin on his face and there’s nothing but happiness radiating from him and Sunggyu is at the wheel.
Sungyeol questions how Dongwoo and Woohyun managed to get onto the team but he shakes it off when he senses eyes on him and Dongwoo (who is sitting next to him) says, “You haven’t been talking, it’s only me, Woohyun, Sunggyu and Howon, occasionally. You should talk more! We’re teammates now, after all!”
Sungyeol stares at Dongwoo, who only grins back at him and Sungyeol nods. “I’m Sungyeol.”
“We all know that,” Woohyun replies, rolling his eyes and his fingers are over the switch of the radio and he cheers when a familiar tune resonates in the car. It’s Sunggyu and Howon’s turn to roll their eyes, shaking their heads at the male’s childishness. “It’s Gee on the radio! It’s my jam!”
He muses and while staring at the front, he doesn’t understand how Woohyun managed to get on the team. They arrive at the victim’s house several minutes later, white car pulling into the apartment’s car park. There is no one outside the house, a barrier of yellow tape in front of the victim’s house’s door and Sungyeol hunches down, going underneath it.
The room isn’t just silent, it's eerie and uninviting. The body had been removed and Sungyeol cringes when the slight smell of rotting flesh enters his nose and his fingers are pinching the bridge of it. He looks around, the other three are doing the same and Sunggyu is putting on his rubber gloves and examining everything with robotic detail.
Woohyun and Dongwoo are now silent and Sungyeol thinks that it is now somehow realistic that the two of them were able to make it into the team. He feels his shoulders tense when he hears voices from down the corridor, angry voices and everyone is walking around in furious, haste steps and frustration is hanging in the air.
“What are you guys standing there for? You know what you’re supposed to do! Look around, it’s not your first time on a murder assignment, is it?” Sunggyu barks and the other four are off, pulling rubber over their fingers.
There’s nothing suspicious in the apartment and there’s no signs of anything that could have killed the man present. The unsightly bloodstain in the middle of the room only hits at Sungyeol’s heart and he’s more determined than ever to solve the case, even though there weren’t any leads. There’s a sigh and Sungyeol knows that the same thought is running through everyone’s heads.
“Looks like we don’t have anything to start on. It’s going to be tough,” Sunggyu mumbles and the silence that comes after only serves as an agreement.
Sungyeol thinks about the case; he recalls the fine details of it but it’s a case so tough he thinks that he wants to give up. The thought is thrown away milliseconds later, the motto of the squad ringing loud in his head. He wants to deliver justice to those who deserved it and there is something that intrigues him about crime. He leans back in his seat, rubbing at his eyes and he sees the grey reflected off the computer screen imprinted beneath his lids.
Surely, a break wouldn’t hurt, would it?
dream two
Sungyeol wakes up and he’s in a plain of green and there is a picnic mat underneath him and the wind is harsh against his face. The wind is howling and in the distance, he hears the faint roar of water and the padding of animals. The collar of his white shirt is suffocating him and he brings a hand up to the top of the shirt, undoing the button and he feels a fresh breeze around his neck. He closes his eyes, immersing himself in the tranquility of his surroundings, but the peace is broken a few seconds later when he hears a shout.
“Young Master!” He turns back, seeing a familiar figure run after him. There’s a worried look on the boy’s face but the look falters when he sees Sungyeol’s smile. “I’ve been looking all over for you! You should know better than to run off as you please and make me worry about you!”
“It’s okay now, no? You’ve found me, haven’t you, Sungjong-ah,” Sungyeol replies and he stands up from the blue checkers. He dusts at his long coat, and his fingers are moving, packing the picnic mat up. Sungjong sighs before nodding, picnic mat rolled underneath one arm. Sungyeol only chuckles at the latter’s reaction before leather boots are wade through the grass and they're walking back to the castle.
His head is buried in stacks of books, white quill thrown to a side as Sungyeol groans. Reaching out for the cup of water before him, he swallows the liquid in furious gulps before placing the empty glass back in its original position. The tall male stretches in his seat, stifling a yawn before Sungjong comes running into the room. There’s anxiety swirling in Sungjong’s bright eyes and Sungyeol raises an eyebrow questioningly.
“What’s wrong?” Sungyeol questions, pushing his reading glasses up onto the bridge of his nose as Sungjong pants, palm on the study table and catching his breath. “It’s not like you to be like this.”
“I forgot that one of your business partners was going to come over tonight. It’s three right now and he should be due at six. We don’t have the time to finish prepar-“ Sungjong is cut off before he can continue, index finger pressed to his lips by Sungyeol as the taller male is standing up and he’s removing his dark, navy blue coat.
There’s a twinkle in his eyes and Sungjong thinks he knows what to expect.
“Well, you have me, don’t you?”
Rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, Sungyeol peers into the refrigerator, index finger at his chin in a thoughtful manner before he brings out the ingredients he needed as well as the raw seafood. There’s a smile on his face as Sungjong is looking at him, worriedly but yet, Sungjong knows that Sungyeol would get the job completed and that there’s nothing to worry about.
“What are you going to be making?” Sungjong asks and Sungyeol doesn’t look up from the beginning of his culinary masterpiece, pouring a jug of water into the black pot. The taller male simply shrugs, hints of mischief in his eyes as he places it back to the side.
“Don’t disturb me. I’m busy right now. Come back in around, two hours to nag at me to get ready,” Sungyeol replies, removing the pasta from its packaging and placing it into the boiling hot water. “If you don’t leave now, I’m going to thrust this pot of water in your face.”
Sungyeol is done with the full course meal two hours later. It’s a simple meal but Sungjong is wide-eyed, staring in amazement at the feat Sungyeol's committed in just two hours. There’s a smug smile on Sungyeol’s face as he wiped his hands on the nearby kitchen towel.
“Aren’t you going to show me the clothes I’m supposed to wear?” Sungjong rolls his eyes, shoving the look of amazement off his face and motions for Sungyeol to follow him. The other only complies, a smile of mischief this time and Sungyeol gives the long dinner table a final look before the door closes behind him with a ‘thud’.
There’s rain pelting the roof of the mansion and Sungyeol leans into the lush, red lounge chair he’s sitting on. Glancing at the watch on his lean wrist, a slight smile plays on his face because the client is late and Sungyeol doesn’t like latecomers. The doors in front of him burst open seconds later, Sungjong ushering the guest in with a smile and Sungyeol sits upright, a (fake) smile on his face and he motions for the guest to be seated in front of him.
“Jang Hyungshik,” the man says without Sungyeol asking and Sungyeol raises an eyebrow in slight question.
“I know your name, that’s why I didn’t ask,” Sungyeol replies simply, twirling his fork in the air and Sungjong is standing behind Sungyeol. Hyungshik is silent, not knowing how to reply as Sungyeol’s hand gestures at the plate in front of them. “Please, take a bite. It was prepared by yours truly.”
Hyungshik takes a bite into the seafood, cautious and his eyes are staring at Sungyeol and the latter only happily twirls the pasta into his spoon and shoves it into his mouth. Hyungshik’s eyes are running all over the place, examining the walls and the crimson that was all over the place. He's feeling rather creeped out, unnerved, the silence biting hard into his flesh and Hyungshik thinks that it’s more than scary that there are only two people occupying the huge mansion. He would have thought that there would be the presence of maids or butlers, but the man in front of him only seemed to have only one right-hand man and the man was standing behind him.
“So,” Sungyeol begins while chewing on his prawn. “From what Sungjong explained to me, you said you were looking for a partnership with my business, weren’t you?”
Hyungshik nods in agreement, patting the corners of his lips with the table handkerchief and he clears his throat. “That’s right. I’m looking for a partnership with a huge business corporation, preferably, a company like yours, since it’s known internationally. I’m looking into trading. Your company runs a chain of inns while mine, we manufacture toiletries and wouldn’t it be great if your inns could experience a new brand of toiletries?”
Hyungshik pauses, taking a sip of the wine that was in front of him and Sungyeol replies before Hyungshik gets to continue his words. “Sure.”
“That was a… rather quick deal,” Hyungshik comments and Sungyeol chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. Hyungshik glances around the room and suddenly, the crimson walls feel suffocating and there’s air choking up his windpipe and he doesn’t feel comfortable.
“What you said made sense, so I agreed. That’s all to it. Aren’t fast and quick deals good, though?” Sungyeol questions and Hyungshik nods, finishing up the rest of his pasta. Sungyeol turns to look at Sungjong and Sungjong knows what he was supposed to do, excusing himself to the kitchen to get the dessert. Hyungshik stands up from his seat, abruptly and Sungyeol gives Hyungshik a look of disbelief. “You’re leaving already? Shouldn’t you be staying for dessert?”
Hyungshik barely stands up for a second before his knees collapse and he falls onto the floor and his vision blurs as he sees Sungyeol’s figure in front of him and there’s a ghost of a smirk on the pretty boy’s features.
“You think I’d really accept your offer? Your offer, it’s nothing compared to what my current client is offering,” Sungyeol says as Sungjong enters the room, tiramisu in hand and Sungjong blinks at the scene. Sungyeol settles back into his seat, stabbing at his cake before biting into it. “Oh, you can have the cake, if you’d like, Sungjong.”
Sungyeol settles into the comfort of his silk sheets as Sungjong switches off the lights of his room. There’s a smile on Sungyeol’s features, lips pulled and he closes his eyes slowly, welcoming the darkness and the cool breeze that’s hitting his face from the open window.
Sungyeol doesn’t like latecomers.
dream three
Sungyeol wakes up and his fingers are rubbing his eyes awake. His eyes are tired, threatening to spill and he barely manages to stifle a yawn and he groans when he finds out that he had fallen asleep - studying - again. It’s not the first time Sungyeol has fallen asleep while studying. He stretches in his seat before climbing out of his chair and heading towards the bathroom, groggy and he frowns when he sees his own reflection in the large mirror.
There are words on his left cheek, blue ink strong against his pale skin (white enough to have been paper), his eyes are bloodshot and there is grey underneath his eyes. Sungyeol frowns, rubbing at his eyes before walking out of the bathroom and getting a change of clothes.
Sungyeol has never been as tired since he transferred into this academy, catered for the needs of special people like him, or so they said. The students at this academy, they were special. They weren’t what you could exactly call - normal. They were blessed, gifted with special supernatural powers called Runes and not everyone could have these powers. This academy; it trains these students how to effectively use their Runes and at the same time, provides them with an educational background that was prestigious enough to land them a job at anywhere they’d like to work at. Once you said the name ‘Rune Academy’, anyone’s eyes would be on you and you can be sure, you’d be hired on the spot. Unlike what most people would think, these people who had the powers of Runes, weren’t ostracized. They were, in fact, treated superior and everyone, they admired them and they wanted to have the same powers as these gifted people.
In a society like this, there would definitely people who would abuse the powers of Runes. Sungyeol, his teeth starts to seethe when he hears of these people. They would use these powers to commit crime, put injustice into light and some of these organizations; they would misuse science and create something out of the world - fake Runes. As the title suggests, the Runes are fake and any normal human could possess these powers, but it came with a price. The Rune wouldn’t be as powerful as the “natural” one and it would cause side effects to the user, such as a decreased lifespan.
The sound of the door of his room opening broke Sungyeol’s train of thoughts. Barely taking steps out of his bathroom, yelping when he feels a heavy weight on his back and he stares at the shorter boy on his back. “Get off me, Dongwoo! You’re not exactly light, you know!”
Dongwoo only laughs, words messed up as Sungyeol pushes him off his back and frowns. “You’re going to be late for class, I thought I’d be a kind soul if I told you so and came to wake you up!”
Sungyeol rolls his eyes. “And you know it, because of your Rune, right? YourListener Rune.”
Dongwoo grins back at him, flinging his hand over the taller male’s shoulders before pushing the both of them out of the room. Sungyeol sighs, fingers rubbing his temples as he hears Dongwoo’s laughter ringing loudly at the back of his head.
Sungyeol and Dongwoo manages to reach class in time, settling in their seats at the back of the classroom as their teacher, Mr. Kim Sunggyu enters the class, a hesitant smile on his face (as usual). There are teasing laughs and Sungyeol rolls his eyes at the childishness of the students. They were all above eighteen and yet, they thought that a shy teacher was the funniest thing that could ever happen in their entire lives.
Mr. Kim teaches the class about Runes, the history and the usage of them. Normally, he would only be covering one of the topics but the school’s understaffed and he had to do two instead and that only made the students frustrated because they’d have to spend 4 whole hours with the shy teacher. Sungyeol never liked class, he preferred studying by himself and he peers to his side, only to see Dongwoo fast asleep. He rolls his eyes. If Dongwoo was going to fall asleep in class, he might as well have skipped class instead of acting like a good student and coming to class for attendance.
“Lee Sungyeol?”
His line of thoughts are broken (for the second time this morning) as Sungyeol stood up, ready to answer the teacher’s question. Sunggyu nods, looking up from his book. “Would you like to show us a demonstration of your Rune to the newer students who just joined us last week?”
He doesn’t reply, opting to walk down the aisle to the front of the classroom before giving a glance to Sunggyu before facing the class again. “Which Rune do you want me to showcase?” Sungyeol asks and Sunggyu has a finger to his chin. Sungyeol is special. A normal special being would only be entitled to having one Rune but Sungyeol has two and every teacher, every student has heard of this even more unique case and Sungyeol’s name is across the globe even though he’s still a student in the academy.
“YourBurner Rune, please.”
Sungyeol nods, raising his palm. His eyes shut close, mouth forming silent words and he raises his palm, showing off an icy-blue flame dancing on top of it. The newer students are wide-eyed in amazement and the older students are rolling their eyes at him. He’s used to it, Sungyeol is treated like a teacher’s pet and it doesn’t exactly help that Sungyeol is a genius and tops in every class he is in.
Sunggyu claps and the newer students applaud after him. Sungyeol remains silent, gives a look at Sunggyu before Sunggyu motions for Sungyeol to return to his seat. “You just got a demonstration of what a Rune can do from one of our star students, Lee Sungyeol.”
Sungyeol doesn’t bother listening to Sunggyu. He already knows what Sunggyu is going to say, he’d already learnt it himself. There’s a loud explosion from out of nowhere and everyone crowds in front of the windows, wondering what was that sound. Dongwoo is still asleep and Sungyeol groans, nudging him hard to wake the deep sleeper up.
There’s a familiar sound that resonates in the classroom next. It’s the same tune that is used by the school whenever announcements are made and Sungyeol’s ears are perked up. This is the first time something like this has occurred.
“We’re under attack by strange people who seem to be users of Runes as well. Their motive is unclear. All students, please vacate to the emergency r-“ The heavily computerized voice is cut off, abrupt and students are shrieking while Sunggyu tries to calm the class down.
“What’s up?” Dongwoo asks, voice thick with sleep as he rubbed at his eyes. Sungyeol rolls his eyes before giving the boy a brief description. There’s panic in Dongwoo’s huge eyes later as he’s out from his seat. “What are you waiting for? We should go to the emergency rooms now.”
The doors of their classroom are slammed open in the next second, a sickly sweet smell infiltrating their senses and Sunggyu stares at the intruders. The intruders are masked, black over their bodies and the newer students are crouched, underneath their tables in absolute fear. Sungyeol is calm, he knows who they are. The organization’s symbol is a stark crimson red against the black cloths and Sungyeol closes his eyes. Words are formed and when his eyes open again, they are of a bright red and two of the intruders fall to their knees. The older students know as well, Runes activated and attacking the various men with their powers.
“Can you listen to their thoughts, Dongwoo?” Sungyeol turns to his side, waiting to see a serious look on the cheery boy’s face but he falters when he sees Dongwoo on the floor. The back of his fingers are on his temples the next moment, he feels his veins pulse hard underneath and he looks at the intruders and he sees nothing but a blur of figures.
He crashes to the floor and there’s nothing but black.
dream four
When Sungyeol wakes up, he feels different. It’s still his body, his eyes, his nose, his features but there’s something that courses within his veins that makes him feel different. He doesn’t feel the rustling of his nasal hair and he doesn’t feel the hasty palpitation of his heart. There’s nothing that runs in his body that serves as a reminder that he is human.
His eyes blink open and he sits up from the bed, noticing a mirror in front of him. He takes cautious steps, staring at his own reflection in the glazed silver item: his eyes are a bright hazel, his skin is paler than it could ever be and he looks graceful, more than he could ever have been. He reaches towards the mirror, touching it; the figure in the mirror does the same.
“Loving how you are now?” He hears a voice sound from his side and he doesn’t even need to turn his head because he recognizes the voice. Woohyun. Woohyun chuckles and he walks up to Sungyeol, finger feather light on his chin and Sungyeol is forced to look at the older male. “I asked you a question.”
Sungyeol doesn’t reply, biting on his lower lip as he feels the fangs protrude and he tastes his own blood on his mouth. Woohyun’s lips are on his the next second and Sungyeol gasps in shock before Woohyun removes his lips and licks at it. “Thanks for the blood, it satisfied me.”
“I didn’t give you permission to drink my blood,” Sungyeol seethes through gritted teeth and Woohyun gives him a lazy shrug. Woohyun is apathetic to Sungyeol’s reaction and he shoves his fisted hands into his jeans pockets later. “And no, I don’t love how I am now.”
“I thought you would,” Woohyun replies, walking away from Sungyeol and opting to lie back against the silk sheets of the bed. “Most would love how they would look after they accept immortality.”
“The last time I checked, I didn’t freely accept it. You just changed me without asking for my permission.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Woohyun replies and there’s a hint of anger in his voice. “You were on the brink of death. You’re my best friend, Sungyeol. I had to do it. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You could have just let me die,” Sungyeol replies and his eyes are closed as Woohyun sighs.
Sungyeol’s new best friend is immortality and it takes him a full month before he gets used to it, accepts it and bonds with it.
He still leads a regular life, he’s a college student and he snickers to himself as he’s reading through his Mythology notes and everything that he is reading about vampires (supposedly) is just utter rubbish. Vampires don’t burn in the Sun; they just don’t like the sunlight and for a newly turned vampire like him, he got headaches from the light and only during the night, are their senses in overdrive and they are more powerful. Garlic doesn’t repel vampires; Sungyeol still likes his daily dose of garlic. Vampires don’t sleep in coffins; Sungyeol would prefer a ten-metre radius away from a coffin if he could. Vampires are pretty much visible in mirrors.
But if vampires could have been killed with a stake to the heart, Sungyeol doesn’t know because he hasn’t attempted it and he wouldn’t want to, anyway.
He likes the better senses he gets; he excels in sports, a subject which he’d been failing all his life thanks to his lanky body. He likes how he doesn’t need to breathe; there is no longer a need to gasp for air and exhaustion doesn't lace his body. He likes how his movements are graceful; he avoids getting tripped (by jealous souls) and maybe then, Sungyeol thinks that being a vampire isn’t all that bad.
Sungyeol takes time to get used to the newfound spotlight on him. Girls flock to him like how butterflies would flock to the nectar of a flower, gushing over how beautiful his eyes were, how pale his skin was (and some would be jealous because no amount of compact powder could create such a tone) and how graceful he was with his actions.
The boss of the café that he works down the street thinks that Sungyeol is good because Sungyeol is good-looking and girls would flock down to the café and grab a drink just to look at him. Sungyeol ends up getting free drinks, free food and it all boils down to the same reason - he was good-looking.
Sungyeol thinks, looks and humanity is scary because only when he got better looking, people started to notice him. They always say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and Sungyeol thinks that the same should apply to looks - “Don’t judge a person by his or her looks.”
There’s a thirst in the back of his throat when he wakes up one morning and when he looks at his reflection in his mirror, his eyes are a bright red and he thinks he has got the rough gist of whatever that’s occurring. The door to his bathroom opens with a slam, loud and clear and Sungyeol sees Woohyun for the first time in a month.
“You haven’t been drinking, have you?” Woohyun questions and Sungyeol raises a questioning eyebrow at him. Woohyun’s eyes meet Sungyeol’s and Sungyeol looks away; he doesn’t like the fierce look in his eyes.
“You didn’t tell me I had to drink blood and how the hell did you know that I haven’t been drinking,” Sungyeol replies, nonchalant and ignoring the irritable feeling in his throat even though it’s burning, it’s scorching, it’s parching.
“It should be common sense. You’re a vampire and what do people know vampires as? Blood suckers. We need our blood,” Woohyun replies and Sungyeol rolls his eyes. “I was the person who changed you. I know.”
Sungyeol shrugs at his shoulders and Woohyun sighs, grabbing Sungyeol’s wrist and forcing the younger boy to be in front of him. He shoves his own wrist at the boy’s face as Sungyeol growls. “What the hell was that for?”
“Drink. From me.”
“Hell no. I’m not going to be drinking anything. I’m perfectly alright, I don’t need your blood.” Woohyun rolls his eyes, shaking his head at Sungyeol’s stubbornness before an imaginary light bulb pops up in his head.
“Oh, fine. Then, I’ll do this,” Woohyun says as he brings his own wrist to his lips and Sungyeol’s eyes widen. There’s a trail of blood that seeps through the two punctures and Sungyeol’s eyes glow an even brighter red and Sungyeol leaps, pinning Woohyun to the bathroom walls and Sungyeol’s tongue is lapping on the blood and he’s drinking from it. “That wasn’t too hard, was it?”
When the glowing of his irises start to fade, Sungyeol jerks back and Woohyun retreats, licking at his bloodied wrist and closing up the tiny holes. Sungyeol’s eyes are wide in shock and he tastes Woohyun’s blood on his lips and his fingers are on his lips, feeling the wet liquid. “What did I just do?”
“You drank my blood, well, you needed it,” Woohyun says simply and Sungyeol gasps. It comes across as a blow to Sungyeol before the latter collapses onto the floor and his eyes are closed and he sees white.
dream five
“Sungyeol! Sungyeol!”
Sungyeol blinks his eyes open, eyelashes fluttering open like a butterfly opening its wings and the figures around him are a blur and there’s so much white in his surroundings, Sungyeol isn’t too sure where he is and maybe, Sungyeol thinks, he is in heaven. The figures in his line of vision start to sharpen and Sungyeol slowly starts to make out the people.
It isn’t heaven, he’s still alive and breathing and his heart is still pumping. His parents aren’t in front of him but rather, it’s his teammates, his co-workers who are in front of him and they all have the same (fake) worried expressions on their faces, it almost looks like a copy-and-paste.
There are hands covering his own and Sungyeol is surprised of the warm feeling and he looks to his side, seeing Minhyuk, his best friend. There’s a different expression on his face, a mix between anger and worry and on the other side, he sees Howon and Sungyeol is shocked. He isn’t shocked that Minhyuk is by his side but the fact that the nonchalant, all-rounded Howon was by his side, Sungyeol was pleasantly surprised.
“Why did you do that?” Minhyuk mumbles out and the other five figures in the room decided that it was best for them to be excused and let Sungyeol and Minhyuk have their alone time to talk. Minhyuk is caressing Sungyeol’s hair (covered with bandages), feathery light touches and Sungyeol tries to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall out of his eyes.
“I guess…. I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Sungyeol replies and he looks away, afraid of meeting his best friend’s eyes for the first time. Minhyuk reaches in, tugs lightly at Sungyeol’s bandaged arms and he pulls Sungyeol’s head into his chest. “I couldn’t take it as Yoon Sojun instead of Lee Sungyeol. I couldn’t take my mother anymore, how I would never be in the centre and how the members wouldn’t even take a look at me.”
“It’s okay. You can tell me everything, don’t suffer alone.”
It takes Sungyeol six months before he’s well and he’s mastered the use of his own two legs again. The fans don’t know what happened to him, fed with the lies that he got into a car accident and would be on a hiatus until he was alright again. The sitcom that he has been acting in is replaced and Sungyeol thinks that the sitcom has become disgusting because he had been replaced by his own brother and his own brother is now a model in Woollim and he’s probably enjoying the fame that he himself never got. His parents don’t make the effort to visit him in the hospital and Sungyeol pretends that it’s okay, that he doesn’t need the comfort of his mother. The members don’t visit him in the hospital either, Sunggyu and Howon visit every now and then and it is Minhyuk who makes the effort to make sure that he sees Sungyeol at least thrice a week.
Sungyeol becomes friends with the nurses and doctors in the hospital and there’s something that strikes him. He’s been in a hospital, a public place, for the past six months and not once, were there fans outside his hospital ward and there aren’t “get well soon” cards on his table and there isn’t a whiff of fresh flowers in his ward.
The doctors tell Sungyeol that he’s lucky because he hasn’t gotten any side effects of his attempt at suicide and that he hasn’t lost any of his senses. Sungyeol secretly wishes that he doesn’t regain the use of his legs, he wouldn’t mind being bedridden or strapped to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
Sungyeol doesn’t want to become a burden to Minhyuk so he keeps his thoughts in his head and hides a penknife inside one of the drawers of the bedside cabinet. There are faint lines on the insides of his thighs,; he draws words on them and he thinks that his legs have become his new drawing block, just that it’s not a pencil and there’s no eraser.
There aren’t happy smiles, laughter nor cheers when Sungyeol gets discharged. The nurses are joyful, there are smiles on their faces and Sungyeol thinks it’s genuine. His baggage is on top of his table and Sungyeol is left to his own devices and he picks up the bag and the weight is crushing his fingers. He grits his teeth and he walks down to the lobby, slow steps and he’s surprised that there’s no one recognizing him, no females running up to him with a pad of paper and a pen in their hands.
He thinks to himself, he’s probably forgotten as he steps into a taxi, leather cold against his skin. He tells the driver his designated address and the elderly man does as he's told. Sungyeol falls asleep in the vehicle. He's outside the dormitory in half an hour and when he's on the third step, he’s silent and he hesitates pushing the door and throwing himself into the house.
He turns back only to get stopped by Howon and Howon stares at Sungyeol before enveloping the taller boy in a hug. “Welcome home.”
Home is where the heart belongs, but Sungyeol thinks it’s otherwise.
Sungyeol is surprised with the affection that Infinite showers him with but he likes to think that the affection is momentary and that it’d fade away soon. Howon takes bubble baths with him, Woohyun cooks dishes that he likes, Sungjong promises not to hit his teddy bear while pretending that the white plushie was him, Sunggyu promises to be less harsh on him on practice and Dongwoo cracks jokes that only he laughs at.
Howon paints the images of the six months that happened without Sungyeol. Many things have occurred during that time frame and Sungyeol thinks that he’s missed so much, he might as well not be in Infinite anymore. Howon glares at Sungyeol then, daring him to say that again and Sungyeol says so only to get pushed into a headlock. Howon makes him swear that he wouldn’t ever say it again and Sungyeol thinks that maybe the members are being honest about their affections this time.
He slowly opens up to the members, talking freely and the six of them finally feel like a strong family. There aren’t any loose ends, there are no awkward atmospheres (except when Woohyun destroys the mood with sentences that should have been kept at the back of his brain).
Howon shows a demonstration of what their new choreography would be, sings him the songs in their new album, all while having strong confidence and Sungyeol smiles for the first time in forever. Sungyeol feels his smile fading when he listens to the track, music ringing loud in his headphones and realizes that their upcoming promotion didn’t allow him to sing into a microphone.
Sungyeol doesn’t tell Howon about it and he feels himself crawling back into the shell he has from before and his heart starts to feel cold again. His yellow penknife is crawling back into his palms, the blade is unsheathed and the silver says hello to the red for the first time in a long time.
He doesn’t feel the pain and his fingers trace over the fresh and raw pink. He pulls down his rolled-up pants when he hears the door open and close and he shoves a (fake) smile over at the newcomer. Howon smiles back at him, ruffling his hair only to get a yelp and Sungyeol tries to neaten his long hair again.
“You need a haircut,” Howon states and Sungyeol nods, feeling his hair go into his eyes and it’s an uncomfortable feeling.
“I’ll get one soon,” Sungyeol promises and Howon smiles back at him before settling into his own bed, purple sheets covering his face seconds later.
Sungyeol creeps out of the dormitory in the early morning and his laptop is switched on, beside him and the night breeze is cold and biting against his skin. He’s only wearing a thin long-sleeved shirt and he doesn’t make any effort to warm his body out and there’s steam coming out of his lips.
Music is blasting from his laptop, their latest album and Sungyeol dances to it. He doesn’t need to curl his right hand into a ball because Sungyeol knows he doesn’t have lines and there was no chance of him getting a hand-held microphone if it were so.
He feels something break inside of him and he flings himself across the metal barriers and the hustle and bustle of Seoul is staring back at him. One of his feet is stretched out, Sungyeol feels his balance start to falter and he’s dropping for the second time in a year.
Maybe, he wouldn’t be so lucky this time.
dream zero
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
Sungyeol blinks his eyes, sleepily. His computer is hot, scorching his skin and Sungyeol jumps. His headphones are to the side of the computer, silver hitting his eyes and he flinches at the bright light. Music can be heard playing from the buds of the headphones and Sungyeol pulls up the screen, staring at the reflection in front of him, in the screen.
There’s someone with his eyes, his lips, his nose, his hair, his ears, his features staring back at him.
But he doesn’t know who that person is.
PG-13 (7,063 words) ; sungyeol-centric ; gen, angst, suicide, cutting
beta-ed by aurelynn
The blinding white screen is staring back at him, features illuminating the darkness as his lips are pursed and his index finger is on his mouse, tapping relentlessly but without sound. His head is bobbing to the music playing through his black earphones, mouth forming words to the melody. There’s a gleam of silver by the laptop, as if, lying in wait to attack someone. The room is silent and his eyes are darting around, black pupils dilated and there’s fear imminent in them.
There’s grey underneath his black eyes, exhaustion seeping into his bones with every ticking of the hand of the clock. His mouth opens to form a yawn, lyrics breaking and his finger taps on his mouth and then, there’s a ‘thud!’ and his arms are perched on top of the computer, eyes closed and there’s a hint of a snore escaping.
Sleep consumes him immediately, even though he doesn’t want to meet the darkness.
dream one
He wakes up in a different environment. He’s leaning against a comfortable cushioned chair, there’s a pillow supporting him from behind. He feels a tap on his shoulder, head instinctively turning. The figure in front of him is a blur, identity unknown, but the person’s name comes to his head a second later.
“You have a home, don’t you, Sungyeol-ah? It’s not like you have an assignment to do right now,” the male states, eyes and lips crinkling together to form perfect crescents and Sungyeol shrugs.
“No idea, really, I just, kinda, fell asleep.” Sungyeol can’t help but form a sheepish smile on his face as Sunggyu walks up to him, shakes his head and pats Sungyeol on the head. Sungyeol’s attention is diverted when he hears a song resonate in the empty office and Sunggyu fishes out his phone, tapping at the green button before placing it against his ear.
Sungyeol doesn’t need to know who called, he recognizes the ringtone that comes from Sunggyu’s superiors (the assignment givers); his hands are already moving to shove the files into his drawers and he feels the excitement coursing through his veins.
“Well, what’d you know? An assignment is here, doesn’t seem too easy though, but that’s what you like, don’t you? You like your assignments tough.” There’s a teasing smile on Sunggyu’s face as Sungyeol nods, and they walk out of the office.
There are photographs on the whiteboard, professionally taken and every detail of the crime was photographed and Sungyeol can’t help but wince at the gore. Parts of the body were brutally removed, looking like as if they had been eaten away, and the bloody raw red flesh was a stark contrast to the pure white floor. It was a murder, having taken place at the victim’s own apartment and brutally executed. The body was found three days after the kill had taken place, reported by the neighbor after the scent of the rotting flesh infiltrated his house and he realized that the victim hadn’t stepped out of his house for several days.
“No strange person has been reported to be seen around the vicinity and the thing is, when we contacted the security guards, they gave us the most bullshit statement. The surveillance cameras that are installed in every floor are fake; the developer didn’t have the money to build actual ones. So, we don’t have any leads to who could have possibly murdered this person. As for the victim, these are his details,” Sunggyu’s superior, Tablo, the highest ranked official in their department states in a professional tone as the current PowerPoint slide at the back changes.
There’s a pause as Sungyeol absorbs the words visually and he thinks that he has heard the name before. He watches Tablo take a gulp before he continues. “Name is Lee Jinseok, 24, works as a nurse at Kyunghee Medical Centre, single and from what we know from his neighbors, he lives alone, he comes from Busan and he appears to be friendly with everyone and helps even people he doesn’t know.”
“Although we don’t have any leads on who the killer is, there was a case a few years back that we eventually dropped because we didn’t have any clues nor the time to continue pursuing the case. The closest lead that we ever got was that it was a 21-year-old male who did the kill and he appears to look something like this.” The PowerPoint slide switches to another, a huge photograph of the suspect occupying the space.
“I’m assigning Sunggyu to lead this assignment,” Tablo states as he pushes the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose and Sunggyu nods. “Joining him will be Woohyun, Dongwoo, Howon and Sungyeol.” As soon as those four names were mentioned, heads perked up and there are professional and determined looks in their eyes; they nod as well.
“Do whatever you can to catch this criminal. Only when there is justice, can there be peace and that is the motto that each and every one of you should carry within your hearts.”
Sungyeol leans into the brown, leather seat in the car as he muses to himself, watching the other members of the team and he realizes, though they had been on the same team, he didn’t really know them. He’s squished in the back together with Howon and Dongwoo; Dongwoo is like a living Energizer Bunny and Howon is calm and his personality is a stark contrast to Dongwoo and it actually seems to fit with Dongwoo’s. Woohyun is in the front, a cheesy grin on his face and there’s nothing but happiness radiating from him and Sunggyu is at the wheel.
Sungyeol questions how Dongwoo and Woohyun managed to get onto the team but he shakes it off when he senses eyes on him and Dongwoo (who is sitting next to him) says, “You haven’t been talking, it’s only me, Woohyun, Sunggyu and Howon, occasionally. You should talk more! We’re teammates now, after all!”
Sungyeol stares at Dongwoo, who only grins back at him and Sungyeol nods. “I’m Sungyeol.”
“We all know that,” Woohyun replies, rolling his eyes and his fingers are over the switch of the radio and he cheers when a familiar tune resonates in the car. It’s Sunggyu and Howon’s turn to roll their eyes, shaking their heads at the male’s childishness. “It’s Gee on the radio! It’s my jam!”
He muses and while staring at the front, he doesn’t understand how Woohyun managed to get on the team. They arrive at the victim’s house several minutes later, white car pulling into the apartment’s car park. There is no one outside the house, a barrier of yellow tape in front of the victim’s house’s door and Sungyeol hunches down, going underneath it.
The room isn’t just silent, it's eerie and uninviting. The body had been removed and Sungyeol cringes when the slight smell of rotting flesh enters his nose and his fingers are pinching the bridge of it. He looks around, the other three are doing the same and Sunggyu is putting on his rubber gloves and examining everything with robotic detail.
Woohyun and Dongwoo are now silent and Sungyeol thinks that it is now somehow realistic that the two of them were able to make it into the team. He feels his shoulders tense when he hears voices from down the corridor, angry voices and everyone is walking around in furious, haste steps and frustration is hanging in the air.
“What are you guys standing there for? You know what you’re supposed to do! Look around, it’s not your first time on a murder assignment, is it?” Sunggyu barks and the other four are off, pulling rubber over their fingers.
There’s nothing suspicious in the apartment and there’s no signs of anything that could have killed the man present. The unsightly bloodstain in the middle of the room only hits at Sungyeol’s heart and he’s more determined than ever to solve the case, even though there weren’t any leads. There’s a sigh and Sungyeol knows that the same thought is running through everyone’s heads.
“Looks like we don’t have anything to start on. It’s going to be tough,” Sunggyu mumbles and the silence that comes after only serves as an agreement.
Sungyeol thinks about the case; he recalls the fine details of it but it’s a case so tough he thinks that he wants to give up. The thought is thrown away milliseconds later, the motto of the squad ringing loud in his head. He wants to deliver justice to those who deserved it and there is something that intrigues him about crime. He leans back in his seat, rubbing at his eyes and he sees the grey reflected off the computer screen imprinted beneath his lids.
Surely, a break wouldn’t hurt, would it?
dream two
Sungyeol wakes up and he’s in a plain of green and there is a picnic mat underneath him and the wind is harsh against his face. The wind is howling and in the distance, he hears the faint roar of water and the padding of animals. The collar of his white shirt is suffocating him and he brings a hand up to the top of the shirt, undoing the button and he feels a fresh breeze around his neck. He closes his eyes, immersing himself in the tranquility of his surroundings, but the peace is broken a few seconds later when he hears a shout.
“Young Master!” He turns back, seeing a familiar figure run after him. There’s a worried look on the boy’s face but the look falters when he sees Sungyeol’s smile. “I’ve been looking all over for you! You should know better than to run off as you please and make me worry about you!”
“It’s okay now, no? You’ve found me, haven’t you, Sungjong-ah,” Sungyeol replies and he stands up from the blue checkers. He dusts at his long coat, and his fingers are moving, packing the picnic mat up. Sungjong sighs before nodding, picnic mat rolled underneath one arm. Sungyeol only chuckles at the latter’s reaction before leather boots are wade through the grass and they're walking back to the castle.
His head is buried in stacks of books, white quill thrown to a side as Sungyeol groans. Reaching out for the cup of water before him, he swallows the liquid in furious gulps before placing the empty glass back in its original position. The tall male stretches in his seat, stifling a yawn before Sungjong comes running into the room. There’s anxiety swirling in Sungjong’s bright eyes and Sungyeol raises an eyebrow questioningly.
“What’s wrong?” Sungyeol questions, pushing his reading glasses up onto the bridge of his nose as Sungjong pants, palm on the study table and catching his breath. “It’s not like you to be like this.”
“I forgot that one of your business partners was going to come over tonight. It’s three right now and he should be due at six. We don’t have the time to finish prepar-“ Sungjong is cut off before he can continue, index finger pressed to his lips by Sungyeol as the taller male is standing up and he’s removing his dark, navy blue coat.
There’s a twinkle in his eyes and Sungjong thinks he knows what to expect.
“Well, you have me, don’t you?”
Rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, Sungyeol peers into the refrigerator, index finger at his chin in a thoughtful manner before he brings out the ingredients he needed as well as the raw seafood. There’s a smile on his face as Sungjong is looking at him, worriedly but yet, Sungjong knows that Sungyeol would get the job completed and that there’s nothing to worry about.
“What are you going to be making?” Sungjong asks and Sungyeol doesn’t look up from the beginning of his culinary masterpiece, pouring a jug of water into the black pot. The taller male simply shrugs, hints of mischief in his eyes as he places it back to the side.
“Don’t disturb me. I’m busy right now. Come back in around, two hours to nag at me to get ready,” Sungyeol replies, removing the pasta from its packaging and placing it into the boiling hot water. “If you don’t leave now, I’m going to thrust this pot of water in your face.”
Sungyeol is done with the full course meal two hours later. It’s a simple meal but Sungjong is wide-eyed, staring in amazement at the feat Sungyeol's committed in just two hours. There’s a smug smile on Sungyeol’s face as he wiped his hands on the nearby kitchen towel.
“Aren’t you going to show me the clothes I’m supposed to wear?” Sungjong rolls his eyes, shoving the look of amazement off his face and motions for Sungyeol to follow him. The other only complies, a smile of mischief this time and Sungyeol gives the long dinner table a final look before the door closes behind him with a ‘thud’.
There’s rain pelting the roof of the mansion and Sungyeol leans into the lush, red lounge chair he’s sitting on. Glancing at the watch on his lean wrist, a slight smile plays on his face because the client is late and Sungyeol doesn’t like latecomers. The doors in front of him burst open seconds later, Sungjong ushering the guest in with a smile and Sungyeol sits upright, a (fake) smile on his face and he motions for the guest to be seated in front of him.
“Jang Hyungshik,” the man says without Sungyeol asking and Sungyeol raises an eyebrow in slight question.
“I know your name, that’s why I didn’t ask,” Sungyeol replies simply, twirling his fork in the air and Sungjong is standing behind Sungyeol. Hyungshik is silent, not knowing how to reply as Sungyeol’s hand gestures at the plate in front of them. “Please, take a bite. It was prepared by yours truly.”
Hyungshik takes a bite into the seafood, cautious and his eyes are staring at Sungyeol and the latter only happily twirls the pasta into his spoon and shoves it into his mouth. Hyungshik’s eyes are running all over the place, examining the walls and the crimson that was all over the place. He's feeling rather creeped out, unnerved, the silence biting hard into his flesh and Hyungshik thinks that it’s more than scary that there are only two people occupying the huge mansion. He would have thought that there would be the presence of maids or butlers, but the man in front of him only seemed to have only one right-hand man and the man was standing behind him.
“So,” Sungyeol begins while chewing on his prawn. “From what Sungjong explained to me, you said you were looking for a partnership with my business, weren’t you?”
Hyungshik nods in agreement, patting the corners of his lips with the table handkerchief and he clears his throat. “That’s right. I’m looking for a partnership with a huge business corporation, preferably, a company like yours, since it’s known internationally. I’m looking into trading. Your company runs a chain of inns while mine, we manufacture toiletries and wouldn’t it be great if your inns could experience a new brand of toiletries?”
Hyungshik pauses, taking a sip of the wine that was in front of him and Sungyeol replies before Hyungshik gets to continue his words. “Sure.”
“That was a… rather quick deal,” Hyungshik comments and Sungyeol chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. Hyungshik glances around the room and suddenly, the crimson walls feel suffocating and there’s air choking up his windpipe and he doesn’t feel comfortable.
“What you said made sense, so I agreed. That’s all to it. Aren’t fast and quick deals good, though?” Sungyeol questions and Hyungshik nods, finishing up the rest of his pasta. Sungyeol turns to look at Sungjong and Sungjong knows what he was supposed to do, excusing himself to the kitchen to get the dessert. Hyungshik stands up from his seat, abruptly and Sungyeol gives Hyungshik a look of disbelief. “You’re leaving already? Shouldn’t you be staying for dessert?”
Hyungshik barely stands up for a second before his knees collapse and he falls onto the floor and his vision blurs as he sees Sungyeol’s figure in front of him and there’s a ghost of a smirk on the pretty boy’s features.
“You think I’d really accept your offer? Your offer, it’s nothing compared to what my current client is offering,” Sungyeol says as Sungjong enters the room, tiramisu in hand and Sungjong blinks at the scene. Sungyeol settles back into his seat, stabbing at his cake before biting into it. “Oh, you can have the cake, if you’d like, Sungjong.”
Sungyeol settles into the comfort of his silk sheets as Sungjong switches off the lights of his room. There’s a smile on Sungyeol’s features, lips pulled and he closes his eyes slowly, welcoming the darkness and the cool breeze that’s hitting his face from the open window.
Sungyeol doesn’t like latecomers.
dream three
Sungyeol wakes up and his fingers are rubbing his eyes awake. His eyes are tired, threatening to spill and he barely manages to stifle a yawn and he groans when he finds out that he had fallen asleep - studying - again. It’s not the first time Sungyeol has fallen asleep while studying. He stretches in his seat before climbing out of his chair and heading towards the bathroom, groggy and he frowns when he sees his own reflection in the large mirror.
There are words on his left cheek, blue ink strong against his pale skin (white enough to have been paper), his eyes are bloodshot and there is grey underneath his eyes. Sungyeol frowns, rubbing at his eyes before walking out of the bathroom and getting a change of clothes.
Sungyeol has never been as tired since he transferred into this academy, catered for the needs of special people like him, or so they said. The students at this academy, they were special. They weren’t what you could exactly call - normal. They were blessed, gifted with special supernatural powers called Runes and not everyone could have these powers. This academy; it trains these students how to effectively use their Runes and at the same time, provides them with an educational background that was prestigious enough to land them a job at anywhere they’d like to work at. Once you said the name ‘Rune Academy’, anyone’s eyes would be on you and you can be sure, you’d be hired on the spot. Unlike what most people would think, these people who had the powers of Runes, weren’t ostracized. They were, in fact, treated superior and everyone, they admired them and they wanted to have the same powers as these gifted people.
In a society like this, there would definitely people who would abuse the powers of Runes. Sungyeol, his teeth starts to seethe when he hears of these people. They would use these powers to commit crime, put injustice into light and some of these organizations; they would misuse science and create something out of the world - fake Runes. As the title suggests, the Runes are fake and any normal human could possess these powers, but it came with a price. The Rune wouldn’t be as powerful as the “natural” one and it would cause side effects to the user, such as a decreased lifespan.
The sound of the door of his room opening broke Sungyeol’s train of thoughts. Barely taking steps out of his bathroom, yelping when he feels a heavy weight on his back and he stares at the shorter boy on his back. “Get off me, Dongwoo! You’re not exactly light, you know!”
Dongwoo only laughs, words messed up as Sungyeol pushes him off his back and frowns. “You’re going to be late for class, I thought I’d be a kind soul if I told you so and came to wake you up!”
Sungyeol rolls his eyes. “And you know it, because of your Rune, right? YourListener Rune.”
Dongwoo grins back at him, flinging his hand over the taller male’s shoulders before pushing the both of them out of the room. Sungyeol sighs, fingers rubbing his temples as he hears Dongwoo’s laughter ringing loudly at the back of his head.
Sungyeol and Dongwoo manages to reach class in time, settling in their seats at the back of the classroom as their teacher, Mr. Kim Sunggyu enters the class, a hesitant smile on his face (as usual). There are teasing laughs and Sungyeol rolls his eyes at the childishness of the students. They were all above eighteen and yet, they thought that a shy teacher was the funniest thing that could ever happen in their entire lives.
Mr. Kim teaches the class about Runes, the history and the usage of them. Normally, he would only be covering one of the topics but the school’s understaffed and he had to do two instead and that only made the students frustrated because they’d have to spend 4 whole hours with the shy teacher. Sungyeol never liked class, he preferred studying by himself and he peers to his side, only to see Dongwoo fast asleep. He rolls his eyes. If Dongwoo was going to fall asleep in class, he might as well have skipped class instead of acting like a good student and coming to class for attendance.
“Lee Sungyeol?”
His line of thoughts are broken (for the second time this morning) as Sungyeol stood up, ready to answer the teacher’s question. Sunggyu nods, looking up from his book. “Would you like to show us a demonstration of your Rune to the newer students who just joined us last week?”
He doesn’t reply, opting to walk down the aisle to the front of the classroom before giving a glance to Sunggyu before facing the class again. “Which Rune do you want me to showcase?” Sungyeol asks and Sunggyu has a finger to his chin. Sungyeol is special. A normal special being would only be entitled to having one Rune but Sungyeol has two and every teacher, every student has heard of this even more unique case and Sungyeol’s name is across the globe even though he’s still a student in the academy.
“YourBurner Rune, please.”
Sungyeol nods, raising his palm. His eyes shut close, mouth forming silent words and he raises his palm, showing off an icy-blue flame dancing on top of it. The newer students are wide-eyed in amazement and the older students are rolling their eyes at him. He’s used to it, Sungyeol is treated like a teacher’s pet and it doesn’t exactly help that Sungyeol is a genius and tops in every class he is in.
Sunggyu claps and the newer students applaud after him. Sungyeol remains silent, gives a look at Sunggyu before Sunggyu motions for Sungyeol to return to his seat. “You just got a demonstration of what a Rune can do from one of our star students, Lee Sungyeol.”
Sungyeol doesn’t bother listening to Sunggyu. He already knows what Sunggyu is going to say, he’d already learnt it himself. There’s a loud explosion from out of nowhere and everyone crowds in front of the windows, wondering what was that sound. Dongwoo is still asleep and Sungyeol groans, nudging him hard to wake the deep sleeper up.
There’s a familiar sound that resonates in the classroom next. It’s the same tune that is used by the school whenever announcements are made and Sungyeol’s ears are perked up. This is the first time something like this has occurred.
“We’re under attack by strange people who seem to be users of Runes as well. Their motive is unclear. All students, please vacate to the emergency r-“ The heavily computerized voice is cut off, abrupt and students are shrieking while Sunggyu tries to calm the class down.
“What’s up?” Dongwoo asks, voice thick with sleep as he rubbed at his eyes. Sungyeol rolls his eyes before giving the boy a brief description. There’s panic in Dongwoo’s huge eyes later as he’s out from his seat. “What are you waiting for? We should go to the emergency rooms now.”
The doors of their classroom are slammed open in the next second, a sickly sweet smell infiltrating their senses and Sunggyu stares at the intruders. The intruders are masked, black over their bodies and the newer students are crouched, underneath their tables in absolute fear. Sungyeol is calm, he knows who they are. The organization’s symbol is a stark crimson red against the black cloths and Sungyeol closes his eyes. Words are formed and when his eyes open again, they are of a bright red and two of the intruders fall to their knees. The older students know as well, Runes activated and attacking the various men with their powers.
“Can you listen to their thoughts, Dongwoo?” Sungyeol turns to his side, waiting to see a serious look on the cheery boy’s face but he falters when he sees Dongwoo on the floor. The back of his fingers are on his temples the next moment, he feels his veins pulse hard underneath and he looks at the intruders and he sees nothing but a blur of figures.
He crashes to the floor and there’s nothing but black.
dream four
When Sungyeol wakes up, he feels different. It’s still his body, his eyes, his nose, his features but there’s something that courses within his veins that makes him feel different. He doesn’t feel the rustling of his nasal hair and he doesn’t feel the hasty palpitation of his heart. There’s nothing that runs in his body that serves as a reminder that he is human.
His eyes blink open and he sits up from the bed, noticing a mirror in front of him. He takes cautious steps, staring at his own reflection in the glazed silver item: his eyes are a bright hazel, his skin is paler than it could ever be and he looks graceful, more than he could ever have been. He reaches towards the mirror, touching it; the figure in the mirror does the same.
“Loving how you are now?” He hears a voice sound from his side and he doesn’t even need to turn his head because he recognizes the voice. Woohyun. Woohyun chuckles and he walks up to Sungyeol, finger feather light on his chin and Sungyeol is forced to look at the older male. “I asked you a question.”
Sungyeol doesn’t reply, biting on his lower lip as he feels the fangs protrude and he tastes his own blood on his mouth. Woohyun’s lips are on his the next second and Sungyeol gasps in shock before Woohyun removes his lips and licks at it. “Thanks for the blood, it satisfied me.”
“I didn’t give you permission to drink my blood,” Sungyeol seethes through gritted teeth and Woohyun gives him a lazy shrug. Woohyun is apathetic to Sungyeol’s reaction and he shoves his fisted hands into his jeans pockets later. “And no, I don’t love how I am now.”
“I thought you would,” Woohyun replies, walking away from Sungyeol and opting to lie back against the silk sheets of the bed. “Most would love how they would look after they accept immortality.”
“The last time I checked, I didn’t freely accept it. You just changed me without asking for my permission.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Woohyun replies and there’s a hint of anger in his voice. “You were on the brink of death. You’re my best friend, Sungyeol. I had to do it. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You could have just let me die,” Sungyeol replies and his eyes are closed as Woohyun sighs.
Sungyeol’s new best friend is immortality and it takes him a full month before he gets used to it, accepts it and bonds with it.
He still leads a regular life, he’s a college student and he snickers to himself as he’s reading through his Mythology notes and everything that he is reading about vampires (supposedly) is just utter rubbish. Vampires don’t burn in the Sun; they just don’t like the sunlight and for a newly turned vampire like him, he got headaches from the light and only during the night, are their senses in overdrive and they are more powerful. Garlic doesn’t repel vampires; Sungyeol still likes his daily dose of garlic. Vampires don’t sleep in coffins; Sungyeol would prefer a ten-metre radius away from a coffin if he could. Vampires are pretty much visible in mirrors.
But if vampires could have been killed with a stake to the heart, Sungyeol doesn’t know because he hasn’t attempted it and he wouldn’t want to, anyway.
He likes the better senses he gets; he excels in sports, a subject which he’d been failing all his life thanks to his lanky body. He likes how he doesn’t need to breathe; there is no longer a need to gasp for air and exhaustion doesn't lace his body. He likes how his movements are graceful; he avoids getting tripped (by jealous souls) and maybe then, Sungyeol thinks that being a vampire isn’t all that bad.
Sungyeol takes time to get used to the newfound spotlight on him. Girls flock to him like how butterflies would flock to the nectar of a flower, gushing over how beautiful his eyes were, how pale his skin was (and some would be jealous because no amount of compact powder could create such a tone) and how graceful he was with his actions.
The boss of the café that he works down the street thinks that Sungyeol is good because Sungyeol is good-looking and girls would flock down to the café and grab a drink just to look at him. Sungyeol ends up getting free drinks, free food and it all boils down to the same reason - he was good-looking.
Sungyeol thinks, looks and humanity is scary because only when he got better looking, people started to notice him. They always say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and Sungyeol thinks that the same should apply to looks - “Don’t judge a person by his or her looks.”
There’s a thirst in the back of his throat when he wakes up one morning and when he looks at his reflection in his mirror, his eyes are a bright red and he thinks he has got the rough gist of whatever that’s occurring. The door to his bathroom opens with a slam, loud and clear and Sungyeol sees Woohyun for the first time in a month.
“You haven’t been drinking, have you?” Woohyun questions and Sungyeol raises a questioning eyebrow at him. Woohyun’s eyes meet Sungyeol’s and Sungyeol looks away; he doesn’t like the fierce look in his eyes.
“You didn’t tell me I had to drink blood and how the hell did you know that I haven’t been drinking,” Sungyeol replies, nonchalant and ignoring the irritable feeling in his throat even though it’s burning, it’s scorching, it’s parching.
“It should be common sense. You’re a vampire and what do people know vampires as? Blood suckers. We need our blood,” Woohyun replies and Sungyeol rolls his eyes. “I was the person who changed you. I know.”
Sungyeol shrugs at his shoulders and Woohyun sighs, grabbing Sungyeol’s wrist and forcing the younger boy to be in front of him. He shoves his own wrist at the boy’s face as Sungyeol growls. “What the hell was that for?”
“Drink. From me.”
“Hell no. I’m not going to be drinking anything. I’m perfectly alright, I don’t need your blood.” Woohyun rolls his eyes, shaking his head at Sungyeol’s stubbornness before an imaginary light bulb pops up in his head.
“Oh, fine. Then, I’ll do this,” Woohyun says as he brings his own wrist to his lips and Sungyeol’s eyes widen. There’s a trail of blood that seeps through the two punctures and Sungyeol’s eyes glow an even brighter red and Sungyeol leaps, pinning Woohyun to the bathroom walls and Sungyeol’s tongue is lapping on the blood and he’s drinking from it. “That wasn’t too hard, was it?”
When the glowing of his irises start to fade, Sungyeol jerks back and Woohyun retreats, licking at his bloodied wrist and closing up the tiny holes. Sungyeol’s eyes are wide in shock and he tastes Woohyun’s blood on his lips and his fingers are on his lips, feeling the wet liquid. “What did I just do?”
“You drank my blood, well, you needed it,” Woohyun says simply and Sungyeol gasps. It comes across as a blow to Sungyeol before the latter collapses onto the floor and his eyes are closed and he sees white.
dream five
“Sungyeol! Sungyeol!”
Sungyeol blinks his eyes open, eyelashes fluttering open like a butterfly opening its wings and the figures around him are a blur and there’s so much white in his surroundings, Sungyeol isn’t too sure where he is and maybe, Sungyeol thinks, he is in heaven. The figures in his line of vision start to sharpen and Sungyeol slowly starts to make out the people.
It isn’t heaven, he’s still alive and breathing and his heart is still pumping. His parents aren’t in front of him but rather, it’s his teammates, his co-workers who are in front of him and they all have the same (fake) worried expressions on their faces, it almost looks like a copy-and-paste.
There are hands covering his own and Sungyeol is surprised of the warm feeling and he looks to his side, seeing Minhyuk, his best friend. There’s a different expression on his face, a mix between anger and worry and on the other side, he sees Howon and Sungyeol is shocked. He isn’t shocked that Minhyuk is by his side but the fact that the nonchalant, all-rounded Howon was by his side, Sungyeol was pleasantly surprised.
“Why did you do that?” Minhyuk mumbles out and the other five figures in the room decided that it was best for them to be excused and let Sungyeol and Minhyuk have their alone time to talk. Minhyuk is caressing Sungyeol’s hair (covered with bandages), feathery light touches and Sungyeol tries to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall out of his eyes.
“I guess…. I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Sungyeol replies and he looks away, afraid of meeting his best friend’s eyes for the first time. Minhyuk reaches in, tugs lightly at Sungyeol’s bandaged arms and he pulls Sungyeol’s head into his chest. “I couldn’t take it as Yoon Sojun instead of Lee Sungyeol. I couldn’t take my mother anymore, how I would never be in the centre and how the members wouldn’t even take a look at me.”
“It’s okay. You can tell me everything, don’t suffer alone.”
It takes Sungyeol six months before he’s well and he’s mastered the use of his own two legs again. The fans don’t know what happened to him, fed with the lies that he got into a car accident and would be on a hiatus until he was alright again. The sitcom that he has been acting in is replaced and Sungyeol thinks that the sitcom has become disgusting because he had been replaced by his own brother and his own brother is now a model in Woollim and he’s probably enjoying the fame that he himself never got. His parents don’t make the effort to visit him in the hospital and Sungyeol pretends that it’s okay, that he doesn’t need the comfort of his mother. The members don’t visit him in the hospital either, Sunggyu and Howon visit every now and then and it is Minhyuk who makes the effort to make sure that he sees Sungyeol at least thrice a week.
Sungyeol becomes friends with the nurses and doctors in the hospital and there’s something that strikes him. He’s been in a hospital, a public place, for the past six months and not once, were there fans outside his hospital ward and there aren’t “get well soon” cards on his table and there isn’t a whiff of fresh flowers in his ward.
The doctors tell Sungyeol that he’s lucky because he hasn’t gotten any side effects of his attempt at suicide and that he hasn’t lost any of his senses. Sungyeol secretly wishes that he doesn’t regain the use of his legs, he wouldn’t mind being bedridden or strapped to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
Sungyeol doesn’t want to become a burden to Minhyuk so he keeps his thoughts in his head and hides a penknife inside one of the drawers of the bedside cabinet. There are faint lines on the insides of his thighs,; he draws words on them and he thinks that his legs have become his new drawing block, just that it’s not a pencil and there’s no eraser.
There aren’t happy smiles, laughter nor cheers when Sungyeol gets discharged. The nurses are joyful, there are smiles on their faces and Sungyeol thinks it’s genuine. His baggage is on top of his table and Sungyeol is left to his own devices and he picks up the bag and the weight is crushing his fingers. He grits his teeth and he walks down to the lobby, slow steps and he’s surprised that there’s no one recognizing him, no females running up to him with a pad of paper and a pen in their hands.
He thinks to himself, he’s probably forgotten as he steps into a taxi, leather cold against his skin. He tells the driver his designated address and the elderly man does as he's told. Sungyeol falls asleep in the vehicle. He's outside the dormitory in half an hour and when he's on the third step, he’s silent and he hesitates pushing the door and throwing himself into the house.
He turns back only to get stopped by Howon and Howon stares at Sungyeol before enveloping the taller boy in a hug. “Welcome home.”
Home is where the heart belongs, but Sungyeol thinks it’s otherwise.
Sungyeol is surprised with the affection that Infinite showers him with but he likes to think that the affection is momentary and that it’d fade away soon. Howon takes bubble baths with him, Woohyun cooks dishes that he likes, Sungjong promises not to hit his teddy bear while pretending that the white plushie was him, Sunggyu promises to be less harsh on him on practice and Dongwoo cracks jokes that only he laughs at.
Howon paints the images of the six months that happened without Sungyeol. Many things have occurred during that time frame and Sungyeol thinks that he’s missed so much, he might as well not be in Infinite anymore. Howon glares at Sungyeol then, daring him to say that again and Sungyeol says so only to get pushed into a headlock. Howon makes him swear that he wouldn’t ever say it again and Sungyeol thinks that maybe the members are being honest about their affections this time.
He slowly opens up to the members, talking freely and the six of them finally feel like a strong family. There aren’t any loose ends, there are no awkward atmospheres (except when Woohyun destroys the mood with sentences that should have been kept at the back of his brain).
Howon shows a demonstration of what their new choreography would be, sings him the songs in their new album, all while having strong confidence and Sungyeol smiles for the first time in forever. Sungyeol feels his smile fading when he listens to the track, music ringing loud in his headphones and realizes that their upcoming promotion didn’t allow him to sing into a microphone.
Sungyeol doesn’t tell Howon about it and he feels himself crawling back into the shell he has from before and his heart starts to feel cold again. His yellow penknife is crawling back into his palms, the blade is unsheathed and the silver says hello to the red for the first time in a long time.
He doesn’t feel the pain and his fingers trace over the fresh and raw pink. He pulls down his rolled-up pants when he hears the door open and close and he shoves a (fake) smile over at the newcomer. Howon smiles back at him, ruffling his hair only to get a yelp and Sungyeol tries to neaten his long hair again.
“You need a haircut,” Howon states and Sungyeol nods, feeling his hair go into his eyes and it’s an uncomfortable feeling.
“I’ll get one soon,” Sungyeol promises and Howon smiles back at him before settling into his own bed, purple sheets covering his face seconds later.
Sungyeol creeps out of the dormitory in the early morning and his laptop is switched on, beside him and the night breeze is cold and biting against his skin. He’s only wearing a thin long-sleeved shirt and he doesn’t make any effort to warm his body out and there’s steam coming out of his lips.
Music is blasting from his laptop, their latest album and Sungyeol dances to it. He doesn’t need to curl his right hand into a ball because Sungyeol knows he doesn’t have lines and there was no chance of him getting a hand-held microphone if it were so.
He feels something break inside of him and he flings himself across the metal barriers and the hustle and bustle of Seoul is staring back at him. One of his feet is stretched out, Sungyeol feels his balance start to falter and he’s dropping for the second time in a year.
Maybe, he wouldn’t be so lucky this time.
dream zero
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
He wakes up.
Sungyeol blinks his eyes, sleepily. His computer is hot, scorching his skin and Sungyeol jumps. His headphones are to the side of the computer, silver hitting his eyes and he flinches at the bright light. Music can be heard playing from the buds of the headphones and Sungyeol pulls up the screen, staring at the reflection in front of him, in the screen.
There’s someone with his eyes, his lips, his nose, his hair, his ears, his features staring back at him.
But he doesn’t know who that person is.