I am curious as to whether you believe me to be insane
Yesterday afternoon on campus, I was on the phone with my brother, so I was wandered around the Oval and the Rape Garden. Out of curiosity, I climbed up and down a fire-escape while on the phone.
The weather was warm and I hate wearing shoes in nice weather, so I had no shoes on. It was sunset. My brother said goodnight, and the sun went down.
I sat under a tree by the train tracks in the twilight. I couldn't decide if I should just walk home or try to study or write at the Alley Cat or library or something.
I walked along the train tracks slowly thinking about life and talking to imaginary people about poetry, until I heard a train whistle. I was on a higher, elevated part of the tracks, so when I heard the train whistle I had to climb down a bank of sharp rocks barefoot. I had serious blisters so it was harder than it otherwise might have been.
Then I sat on a metal fence and watched the train go by thinking about whether or not I could jump it, waving to the conductor, and talking to imaginary people about train-jumping. The train disappeared towards the city in the twilight. A police car drove by. I started to walk down the sidewalk thinking about twilight.
A police car pulled up to me and the window rolled down.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm just walking around thinking."
"What are you thinking about?"
"...Well, I'm pissed at one of my friends..."
"Do you have shoes?"
"In my backpack. I might go get some coffee now."
"I only ask because we had a report of someone, who seems to fit your description, acting strangely."
"What?"
"Just a report of a female with a backpack...acting strangely."
"Well, I was singing so maybe it looked like I was talking to myself."
"You're sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Maybe I'll just go home."
"Ok then." He drove away.
I was unfathomably awake, so went to the Alley Cat to write, and there was extremely calm music playing and I felt extremely calm. But I also felt like any minute I was going to find myself in a hospital, with Whitney there telling me that all the people I think I know don't really exist.
"Seriously, I'm sorry to say this to you Madeleine, but you seriously need a doctor."
The weather was warm and I hate wearing shoes in nice weather, so I had no shoes on. It was sunset. My brother said goodnight, and the sun went down.
I sat under a tree by the train tracks in the twilight. I couldn't decide if I should just walk home or try to study or write at the Alley Cat or library or something.
I walked along the train tracks slowly thinking about life and talking to imaginary people about poetry, until I heard a train whistle. I was on a higher, elevated part of the tracks, so when I heard the train whistle I had to climb down a bank of sharp rocks barefoot. I had serious blisters so it was harder than it otherwise might have been.
Then I sat on a metal fence and watched the train go by thinking about whether or not I could jump it, waving to the conductor, and talking to imaginary people about train-jumping. The train disappeared towards the city in the twilight. A police car drove by. I started to walk down the sidewalk thinking about twilight.
A police car pulled up to me and the window rolled down.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm just walking around thinking."
"What are you thinking about?"
"...Well, I'm pissed at one of my friends..."
"Do you have shoes?"
"In my backpack. I might go get some coffee now."
"I only ask because we had a report of someone, who seems to fit your description, acting strangely."
"What?"
"Just a report of a female with a backpack...acting strangely."
"Well, I was singing so maybe it looked like I was talking to myself."
"You're sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. Maybe I'll just go home."
"Ok then." He drove away.
I was unfathomably awake, so went to the Alley Cat to write, and there was extremely calm music playing and I felt extremely calm. But I also felt like any minute I was going to find myself in a hospital, with Whitney there telling me that all the people I think I know don't really exist.
"Seriously, I'm sorry to say this to you Madeleine, but you seriously need a doctor."