Steps to a Better Poem
1. Change it to be about fish
2.Copy it while intoxicated, keep the new version.
3. Smear it across the page
4. Add musical score or illustration
5. Combine it with a completely different poem (maybe have the stanzas trade off)
6. Change the title to "palinode"
7. Summarize with a page-length title
8. Take out the stupid parts
9. Re-state vague phases with bluntness*
10. Steal good lines from your friends **
11. Divide poem randomly into 3-5 sections, labeled with Roman numerals or sequential titles (times of day, various bus stops, cake ingredients)
12. Change & pinpoint identity of speaker as someone different (i.e. member of kiss, fish chiropracter, babysitter (all taken))
13. Change all the adjectives to their opposite, or take out all the adjectives*
14. Make it part of a seemingly disconnected series
15. Every time you're describing something, take out the description and just say what it is.*
* Oh wait NO, I forgot to worship the IMAGE GOD. I TAKE IT ALL BACK, YOU SHOULD BORE US ALL TO DEATH BC IT'S BETTER.
**Doesn't work if you don't have friends
2.Copy it while intoxicated, keep the new version.
3. Smear it across the page
4. Add musical score or illustration
5. Combine it with a completely different poem (maybe have the stanzas trade off)
6. Change the title to "palinode"
7. Summarize with a page-length title
8. Take out the stupid parts
9. Re-state vague phases with bluntness*
10. Steal good lines from your friends **
11. Divide poem randomly into 3-5 sections, labeled with Roman numerals or sequential titles (times of day, various bus stops, cake ingredients)
12. Change & pinpoint identity of speaker as someone different (i.e. member of kiss, fish chiropracter, babysitter (all taken))
13. Change all the adjectives to their opposite, or take out all the adjectives*
14. Make it part of a seemingly disconnected series
15. Every time you're describing something, take out the description and just say what it is.*
* Oh wait NO, I forgot to worship the IMAGE GOD. I TAKE IT ALL BACK, YOU SHOULD BORE US ALL TO DEATH BC IT'S BETTER.
**Doesn't work if you don't have friends