Rock and rejection
Well, yesterday evening was not as blah as the start of the day. Dustin came over and brought Guitar Hero and bought Guitar Hero II and a second guitar. We spent the evening unlocking all the songs. He left it all here for me to play for awhile too, which is nice. I'm supposed to practice up so I get better than him. Then we made some food and sat around talking about our histories and life experiences, all the stuff we don't normally tell people, even some of our close friends. It was nice. Though it meant that I went to bed at 3am again.
I'm very glad I got to be friends with Dustin. He's definitely a great person to have as a friend. We connect very well. Plus he's just generally a very interesting, complex, thoughtful and nice person. I really wish he could find some peace in his love life, though. I'll be glad to see that healing happen.
As for my own love life: I didn't hear from David last night. No calls, no texts, no email. Disappointing. I'm really getting pretty hurt by how little attention he has to spare for me while he's away (and this happened last summer too). It's such a rough transition to make, to go from spending time with him almost every single day to depending on the phone and AIM to keep in touch, and it makes it so much worse when I can't even rely on him to do that on the days he promises. I don't like suddenly not being a priority but something that's taken care of only when it's convenient, when all the other more important stuff is done. He's been gone a week and everything added all together, 2 minute calls and 20 minute chats and a couple of text messages adds up to maybe an hour. Like I said, that's a big shift from before, and I guess I'm going through withdrawals. I worry I'm being too selfish or dependent, but I'm just so used to being close, and I can't help my feelings being hurt when I get a text saying he doesn't have the time for me. I'm certain he doesn't mean it to be this hurtful, and he doesn't mean for me to see it this way, but my perspective on the receiving end of his behavior is just that I'm not very important to him right now even though he's just as important to me as he ever was, and I always have the time for him and it's not the same for him right now. I just don't like always being the one waiting. I just hate this aspect of summer and I hate long distance communication with loved ones. I hope this gets better soon.
I'm very glad I got to be friends with Dustin. He's definitely a great person to have as a friend. We connect very well. Plus he's just generally a very interesting, complex, thoughtful and nice person. I really wish he could find some peace in his love life, though. I'll be glad to see that healing happen.
As for my own love life: I didn't hear from David last night. No calls, no texts, no email. Disappointing. I'm really getting pretty hurt by how little attention he has to spare for me while he's away (and this happened last summer too). It's such a rough transition to make, to go from spending time with him almost every single day to depending on the phone and AIM to keep in touch, and it makes it so much worse when I can't even rely on him to do that on the days he promises. I don't like suddenly not being a priority but something that's taken care of only when it's convenient, when all the other more important stuff is done. He's been gone a week and everything added all together, 2 minute calls and 20 minute chats and a couple of text messages adds up to maybe an hour. Like I said, that's a big shift from before, and I guess I'm going through withdrawals. I worry I'm being too selfish or dependent, but I'm just so used to being close, and I can't help my feelings being hurt when I get a text saying he doesn't have the time for me. I'm certain he doesn't mean it to be this hurtful, and he doesn't mean for me to see it this way, but my perspective on the receiving end of his behavior is just that I'm not very important to him right now even though he's just as important to me as he ever was, and I always have the time for him and it's not the same for him right now. I just don't like always being the one waiting. I just hate this aspect of summer and I hate long distance communication with loved ones. I hope this gets better soon.