State of the Me Because Who Cares About Characters Anyway

[mastersparktion]

Taking a break wasn't bad! I didn't get very much done after all. But, well... it was much easier to stay away than I'd expected, which might not be a good thing. And I actually do feel better after it? More than I'd expected? Which might be a good thing.

...If nothing more, both of the above probably prove that I have got to back off and spend

Comments

[mastersparktion]

I do wish I were better at posting in general, in any case... I never do have ideas. And I don't care what you say either, I've always enjoyed what postrape I've experienced. (I still have proud memories of tagging back to everyone in a two-page 1400-comment post, although admittedly that was a copost, IT WAS FUN. And then I felt bad when I saw around then a lot of people saying they were scared to post because of being overwhlemed. It could be meeeeee~) S-sigh that was probably unfair of me to say, since I did sort of feel like my last couple attempts at posting didn't go over as well as they might've. Anyway, in general CR is some kind of factor, but there are assuredly always other ones which is all part of why posting is hard grar.

Most of the posts I've ended up making with Marisa were less "I have an idea, this would be fun!" and more "Due to whatever's going on with her these days, she happens to be doing something that's interesting enough to make a post out of!" -- which is something I like a lot on principle, and it's a good thing when characters are doing enough stuff to warrant such posts anyway. And that's easier than hoping for inspiration from nowhere. But it does leave a little less room to worry about proper hooking, although I always did try to get the end result to be something interesting, engaging and easy to respond to. With varying success!

The other stuff... Sigh, I suppose commenting is a lot to do with drive in general, when you come down to it. Thinking this out as I type and erase this paragraph and go back over it again, a player has a reason for putting a character in a post. When you're really rarin' to play, "because it's a post I could think of a response to" is amply sufficient. Most of the time, it's things like "because I think what's going on in the post should lead to fun places," or "because what the OP is talking about is relevant to my character and I'd like to play with that," or "because I want my character to talk to this one," or such. So, purpose, and finding things to do, and being invested both in your character and other things in the game. ...And at this point I'm still just sort of thinking out loud text at you, I think. Also goddamn am I ever overdue for canon reviewing, am'n't I!

On comfort zones, I still do think that I overdo it. I also just simply dislike feeling like I've gotten myself stuck in something overly narrow for no good reason, though. I mean, if nothing more, if I think I would genuinely enjoy playing in situations where currently I don't feel I can get anywhere near, that's a good thing to work on! And rolling with things is just a good skill in general anyway. And frankly, me loosening up a bit is probably a whole lot more likely than me successfully getting my own things going. B-but man I appreciate the understanding at least. I mean, I am totally willing to work with people on things! You know, I think I'm going to have to just sit down and plan out how to approach, both IC and OOC, things I'd like to try and get a bit better about. And the OOC part is a good point.

Annnnnnnd thank you a lot for commenting, I mean it. This is all excellent food for thought which I can really use, which is probably pretty clear from my rambling here. That and, you know. The feeling sequestered and cut off thing. Aaahhhh, I really can be such an idiot.

[halfcocked]

I'm bad at getting post ideas too. XD I can't even tell you how many times I've been like "AUGH I WANT TO POST SO BADLY BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO POST." I wish I had some way to get better at it. One thing I DO find helps somewhat is to write it down if you have a post idea at a time when you can't do one, like say, if something comes up in the middle of a thread with someone else and you think "Oh I could follow that up with a post!" Because I know I end up forgetting all the time. XD AS FOR POSTRAPE nah it's cool, everyone's thoughts on it are different. I admit I love it when a post I make gets a ton of comments, especially if it's a copost. But in a weird way, I find it worse for CR, especially when you're hurting for close relationships. With a post where 30 people comment, generally speaking, you are going to have slower and shorter and more shallow threads than if six people comment. They might be FUN, but in my experience (and this is just me!) they are not going to be as involved because you're distracted with your 29 other commenters and you're only tagging back every 45 minutes. So honestly, don't be discouraged if you post and you only get four replies or something. IT'S HAPPENED TO ME TOO. And it can be a good opportunity to really get to KNOW those four characters at a leisurely and relaxed pace. I like that just as much as I like two pages of comments, and when I am one of those four commenters, I like it then too because I'm not waiting half an hour between tags.

And posts like that are awesome! There's nothing wrong with that either. WE ALL LIKE THOSE. It doesn't matter how you come up with it; the main thing is just that you do it and have fun with it. ♥

I HOPE I COULD HELP A LITTLE and I do hope you work things out for yourself IC and OOC! Don't think that you're alone, because these are problems all of us have or have had in the past. XD I mean, everything in your post, I can relate to it, and sometimes I've gotten over it and sometimes I haven't. Sometimes it really is insurmountable when you're a bad match for a character or a bad match for camp, or the character is a bad match for camp. But I think/hope that's not the case here, since you've been successful with her in the past! It's just working through some stuff and jumping back in, and I wish you luck on that. \o/

[mastersparktion]

Ahhh, you have a point and it's one of those points that's difficult to sink in viscerally so it must be good.

You totally have helped, thank you again! I also feel awkward fussing like this but it seems the sort of thing must be done now and then, and I really do appreciate you bothering with me~ And like it always is with these things, it's always so reassuring to hear that I'm not alone. ♥

...Maybe someday I'll also learn to deal with my issues gracefully instead of with melodramatic tl;dr, but melodramatic tl;dr is basically how I do everything, I dunno anymore.

[halfcocked]

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FUSSING AND TL;DR ♥ it's a lot more helpful to DO stuff like this than to . . . not ask for help, or not work it our properly within yourself, and writing it out helps with that. So don't worry!

[mastersparktion]

Belated but that is true also, I know I personally am someone who just thinks a lot better in writing, so it's good for me to work things out like this and get things out like this once in a while. (And it IS good for me, too, it even already has been I think!) Still feel silly whining so much tho'. After all, it means someone has to listen, too! At the very least I'm glad there are folks around who don't mind reading. ¦D I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself for it, but self deprecation is also soothing in a way if you don't get too neurotic about it, I guess.