.... just great....
Anyone know the best way to beg for forgiveness? Especially when the person you need to forgive you won't see/speak/or listen to you?
If you want to know what happened, look here
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chi_aisling/31954.html
I dropped her off at work, and along the way, I told her I'd pick her up. She said she'd take the bus, but being the caring individual I am, I told her I would definitely pick her up. So, we confirmed the time she'd be off, I hung out with her while she grabbed comfy shoes, a good lunch/breakfast, then went to work. I took a little time to myself in the mall, then went home.
Simple, right?
So I left at 9:20, thinking to get there a little after 9:30 to pick her up. Ended up getting there at 9:40. By then, I figure, she's out already. No show. Ok, I say, check inside the mall. Unfortunately, i can't. No security guards around, and the automatic doors AND the regular doors are all locked. Fuck. So I check around the outside of the mall, look to the bus stop. 15 minutes pass and the bus home is there. I check the people boarding it, then think she's already aboard, would look pretty bad if I come inside to check. I look at the clock. nearing ten. I have my cellphone on me. It hasn't rung once, since i figure she'd call me to let me know she was held back a bit or something. No call, no problem. I don't have the number myself, and since it's near ten, most people are already out of the mall. I do a secondary sweep of the outside of the mall, checking everything just in case, don't see her, and convince myself she's at home.
Big mistake.
I get home, check my messages just in case, and figure nothing's wrong. No messages there either. I spend the rest of the night on the computer, stay up a little late hoping to talk to her on AIM to ask how she got home. After all, I'm a little worried. Since she doesn't show there either, I figure she went to sleep, or is working on chores/stuff so I go to bed at 2 AM.
Morning comes, around 9:45 AM I wake up. After taking care of my morning routine, it's near 10, so I pick up the phone to give her a call. She's already left. Odd, since it's so early, and why didn't she give me a call? So, I start thinking she's preparing for the get together she's been planning for a while. I call her house a few more times. No answer, or that she isn't home is the message. Leave a couple voice messages of my own, then think about the party. Call our friends, oops, change of plans. They can't come to us, so we should come to them. So, I think, might as well call Kim at work, tell her about the change so I can pick her up. I look up the number online, and after a bit of searching, get it.
Big Mistake #2... calling her at work.
I ask if she's working. Now, I should have left it at that and gone on over to talk. But no... I ask if I can talk to her. She answers... and when I say hi, instant bad feeling. She's pissed. Royally pissed. Usually, when she's pissed, she'll call me, bitch me out.
This is a major anger here.
It's so bad, I try talking to her on AIM... then get a warning. She never warned me before.
Now.. if it was anyone else, I'd brush it off and wait a few days, thinking nothing of it. But Kim.... Kim's been my Best Friend for the past 6 or so years. We've been together through thick and thin. I've seen her through bad relationships and helped her out when work and family really got her pissed. i even helped her ditch a few times in High School, when I knew she needed it. She's seen me through tough times too, like getting arrested, and kicked my ass when I almost committed suicide. Hell! We even work out storylines and stuff over the phone, and have hour long conversations about nothing! You only get that kind of closeness with family, significant others, and best friends.
... so could somebody tell me what to do? I need advice... and for the first time ever, i can't ask it from Kim.... and it scares me. I just wish I stayed there, ten minutes longer... or tried a little harder to get inside...
*sigh*
I know you can't change the past, and I know better than to stay stuck on it. Hell, I admit to making alot of mistakes... but this takes the cake.
heh.... so if anyone has any shining pearls of wisdom, or sage advice... I'll take it. And Kim... if you are reading this.. I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until I'm forgiven. I'm sorry, and I'll do anything to make things right!
If you want to know what happened, look here
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chi_aisling/31954.html
I dropped her off at work, and along the way, I told her I'd pick her up. She said she'd take the bus, but being the caring individual I am, I told her I would definitely pick her up. So, we confirmed the time she'd be off, I hung out with her while she grabbed comfy shoes, a good lunch/breakfast, then went to work. I took a little time to myself in the mall, then went home.
Simple, right?
So I left at 9:20, thinking to get there a little after 9:30 to pick her up. Ended up getting there at 9:40. By then, I figure, she's out already. No show. Ok, I say, check inside the mall. Unfortunately, i can't. No security guards around, and the automatic doors AND the regular doors are all locked. Fuck. So I check around the outside of the mall, look to the bus stop. 15 minutes pass and the bus home is there. I check the people boarding it, then think she's already aboard, would look pretty bad if I come inside to check. I look at the clock. nearing ten. I have my cellphone on me. It hasn't rung once, since i figure she'd call me to let me know she was held back a bit or something. No call, no problem. I don't have the number myself, and since it's near ten, most people are already out of the mall. I do a secondary sweep of the outside of the mall, checking everything just in case, don't see her, and convince myself she's at home.
Big mistake.
I get home, check my messages just in case, and figure nothing's wrong. No messages there either. I spend the rest of the night on the computer, stay up a little late hoping to talk to her on AIM to ask how she got home. After all, I'm a little worried. Since she doesn't show there either, I figure she went to sleep, or is working on chores/stuff so I go to bed at 2 AM.
Morning comes, around 9:45 AM I wake up. After taking care of my morning routine, it's near 10, so I pick up the phone to give her a call. She's already left. Odd, since it's so early, and why didn't she give me a call? So, I start thinking she's preparing for the get together she's been planning for a while. I call her house a few more times. No answer, or that she isn't home is the message. Leave a couple voice messages of my own, then think about the party. Call our friends, oops, change of plans. They can't come to us, so we should come to them. So, I think, might as well call Kim at work, tell her about the change so I can pick her up. I look up the number online, and after a bit of searching, get it.
Big Mistake #2... calling her at work.
I ask if she's working. Now, I should have left it at that and gone on over to talk. But no... I ask if I can talk to her. She answers... and when I say hi, instant bad feeling. She's pissed. Royally pissed. Usually, when she's pissed, she'll call me, bitch me out.
This is a major anger here.
It's so bad, I try talking to her on AIM... then get a warning. She never warned me before.
Now.. if it was anyone else, I'd brush it off and wait a few days, thinking nothing of it. But Kim.... Kim's been my Best Friend for the past 6 or so years. We've been together through thick and thin. I've seen her through bad relationships and helped her out when work and family really got her pissed. i even helped her ditch a few times in High School, when I knew she needed it. She's seen me through tough times too, like getting arrested, and kicked my ass when I almost committed suicide. Hell! We even work out storylines and stuff over the phone, and have hour long conversations about nothing! You only get that kind of closeness with family, significant others, and best friends.
... so could somebody tell me what to do? I need advice... and for the first time ever, i can't ask it from Kim.... and it scares me. I just wish I stayed there, ten minutes longer... or tried a little harder to get inside...
*sigh*
I know you can't change the past, and I know better than to stay stuck on it. Hell, I admit to making alot of mistakes... but this takes the cake.
heh.... so if anyone has any shining pearls of wisdom, or sage advice... I'll take it. And Kim... if you are reading this.. I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until I'm forgiven. I'm sorry, and I'll do anything to make things right!