holiday woes

[masterlupus]

i feel sometimes as if im hiding my feelings and sometimes sadness. its new yreas and im sitting here at home watching movies alone. i just feel alone this year. its the first year ive done nothen on new years. it just doesnt feel right. itg makes me think about things i dont want to think about. let me put it this way most of my life i have been alone except on holidays.; i usually go out and hang out with friends. this yr the nearest party is to far away. because the moved it to a nerw location. and my other friends are working.

its strange. lonelyness gets my mind thinking abouty death. not me causeing it but still its troublesome to me. ive been thinking about what i should be doing with my life and recently i have been feeling i should stop school for a wile and go strait into working. so i can make a living. i cant sit back and spend dollar to dollar to survive in todays world. and go to school. its just not going to work. i starve so i can aford to go to school and get an education that may or may not help me get a good paying job. yes i am working right now. but it jus doesnt seem right to me to waste my money to get an education to get me into a feild when i should be making an income to fully suport getting that educatuion. iuts not right to miss out on one or two meals a day for schooling. yes i could get a loan but thats not much when i have noone who will cosign for a loan. and finacial aide isnt that high for me with a 1.9gpa.

oh well thats enough of that. heres a few pictures aand photos.
Paintings
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26917740/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26935443/

-same painting different lighting
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26918105/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26918169/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26939773/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26940064/

pictures taken
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26858475/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26858683/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26859751/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26916703/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26916824/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26916875/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26916953/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26917568/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26917623/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/26917682/