[Slash] So Few Words - 5/7
So Few Words
Author:
anyothergirl415
Pairings: Jensen/Jared (other characters include the various randoms)
Rating: NC-17 (as an overall series, each part varies)
Disclaimer: Oh if only these boys were mine, the things I would do :)
Warnings: AU, HS fic, h/c, angst, schoomp
Words: 4,433 (this part)
Summary: Jensen would just like to let his parents know that moving at the beginning of his senior year is so not cool. But it’s forgivable if he can get the oh so pretty Jared Padalecki to just say something to him.
Author Notes: As always, thanks to the brilliant and amazing surevesta for betaing this and for the lovely banner! And thank you to everyone for your lovely feedback!
Jensen floats quite happily on cloud nine through the following morning, not even letting his sister’s teasing jabs bring him down. Part of his mind questioned whether the whole event was just a dream but the other part, the part that had memorized and replayed it dozens of times in a loop, told him it was not.
After lunch, which he’s pretty sure was good but can’t remember eating for the life of him, Jensen meets Sandy at the mall. He’d promised her that he would tag along for the last of her Christmas gift shopping since Danneel had to work.
She takes one look at his dreamy smile and laughs, “Well someone got laid last night.”
Jensen shakes his head, “Kind of did but that’s not it.”
“What is it then?” She questions, linking her arm through his as they start walking through the crowd of busy shoppers.
“I gave Jared his gift last night,” Jensen’s smile grew impossibly wider.
“And he liked it?” Sandy asked when Jensen didn’t continue.
“Oh he did,” Jensen nods, looking brightly at her. “In fact he even said thank you.”
“He what?!” Sandy screeched coming to a halt as people passing by threw her strange glances.
“He said, and I quote, ‘thank you Jensen’,” A near hysterical burst of laughter left his lips as he spun around in a giddy circle. Several people stared and quickened their paces.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s so outrageously amazing and fantastic!” Sandy threw her arms around his middle, engulfing him in a tight hug. “Anything else?”
“No,” Jensen shook his head but the smile held firm. “I know it’s going to take time for words to start flowing, but god… hearing him say my name was just…” He trailed off, smiling blissfully at her. With all this smiling he thought it wouldn’t be long until his cheeks started hurting.
“Aw, I’m so happy for you Jensen!” Sandy rejoined their arms, leading him towards the Sharper Image store. “Now tell me all about last night, I want all the juicy details!”
Jensen laughs but starts in on a play by play of the evening’s events - leaving out the juicy details of course.
Three hours later Sandy had successfully finished questing for Christmas presents and Jensen had thoroughly described Jared’s various actions, explaining what each meant and how he had learned the subtleness that was the other boy. “Do I sound like a creepy stalker who sits outside Jared’s home watching him through binoculars each night?”
Sandy laughs, “No. Do you sit outside his home?”
“Of course not,” Jensen shakes his head, clearing his throat as they make their way out of the mall. “But I feel stupid for knowing these things, for spending almost every waking moment analyzing him. It’s almost like I…” At this he stops short, something sparking in his mind.
She turns to him, eyes shining brightly, “Almost like you love him?”
Jensen scoffs loudly, taking a few steps forward before stopping again, “I don’t love him. That’s crazy. I can’t love him.”
“Why not?” Sandy asks, gently tugging his arm to get them moving forward through the crowd again.
“Because, it’s not logical. I don’t know him. I mean, I know some things but not the basics. I don’t know his favorite color or movie or food. Hell I don’t even know the names of his family members! How can you love someone you don’t know?”
“Is that what you think love is?” Sandy lays her head against his shoulder as they walk into the parking lot. “Oh my little naive Jensen… love has nothing to do with knowing what someone likes to eat or watch.”
“No? And what exactly does it have to do with?” Jensen stares down at the top of her head, directing them towards his car.
Sandy is quiet until they come to a stop, she watches Jensen pull his keys from his pocket before smiling softly, “When you love someone it’s just them - the way they look at you, touch you - it’s not about knowing their little facts and quirks… that can come with time. The feeling though, it’s a deep subconscious type thing.”
“How can you be so sure?” Jensen slips the key into the lock, turning it but not reaching for the handle.
“Think of it this way…” Sandy bit her lip, brushing hair behind her ear. “If you find out Jared’s favorite color is hot pink and his favorite movie is Legally Blonde are you going to break up with him?”
Jensen bites out a sharp bark of laughter before it dies just as suddenly in his throat. He’s pretty sure Jared’s not too fond of hot pink or Legally Blonde, but he understands what Sandy is trying to say. And by admitting that, he realizes the truth:
He is hopelessly in love with Jared Padalecki.
“Shit,” he breaths, body falling back against the front door of his car.
“If it’s any consolation,” Sandy reaches out and presses a hand against his arm. “I’m pretty sure Jared feels the same.”
With that she turns, calling goodbye over her shoulder as she heads to her own car. Jensen watches her drop into the driver’s seat before he opens his door and slides in. With a soft sigh he allows his head to fall against the steering wheel. Being in love suddenly feels like a heavy weight on his shoulders that he isn’t too sure he can hold up.
*
Jensen spends the next three days trying to work up the nerve to drive over to Jared’s house. But everything feels so different now. The odd thing is nothing has really changed, Jensen supposes he felt exactly the same about Jared during their date but he just wasn’t aware of it then. Now he’s sure it’ll be written all over his face and that makes him feel so vulnerable.
He’s not used to the idea of someone having so much control over him.
It’s Christmas Eve and Jensen sits in front of his computer, pointlessly clicking through Wikipedia. Previously he’d been moping around the kitchen, but his mother had sent him away when his sighs and ceaseless pacing started getting in the way.
“Jensen!” He hears her call from downstairs. He gets up quickly, hoping she’ll have something for him to do to get his mind off Jared and how very much he misses him. “Jensen! Come down here please!”
“I’m coming!” He calls in return, jumping down the steps two at a time and landing in the hallway with a soft thud. “God, where’s the fire?”
Jensen swings around and freezes, eyes landing on his mother at the door. Which is she is closing behind a shy, smiling Jared.
“Jared,” he grins, walking forward but catching himself before embracing the boy in front of his mother. A blush crawls up his cheeks and he looks nervously at the ground. “Hey.”
Jared nods his traditional greeting and Jensen tries not to be disappointed. He knew Jared wasn’t going to just up and start talking, but he had still hoped…
“Well, Jared its good you came by. Jensen is driving us all crazy. Little love sick puppy dog,” She pats Jared casually on the arm with a warm smile before ruffling Jensen’s hair and walking back down the hall to the kitchen.
Jensen’s blush darkens and he quickly looks up to meet Jared’s eyes, “I really wasn’t like that. She’s exaggerating.”
Jared nods with only traces of a smile, clearly deciding to play along with Jensen’s defense. His hand moves out to caress Jensen’s arm and he jerks his head up in the direction of the bedroom.
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, leading the way up the stairs, heart fluttering rapidly.
The door closes with a click behind Jared and Jensen suddenly finds himself pressed against the wall, a large hand cupping his cheek as lips move to seal over his.
He moans deeply, his own hands lacing through Jared’s hair to hold them together. Lips part as tongues eagerly meet, twirling around and around as hips rocked against each other. Then Jared is dropping down on his knees, freeing Jensen’s cock from his pants and boxers before he can even figure out what’s happening.
“God…” he whispers, hands once more lacing through Jared’s thick hair as hot lips circle around him. It takes the good majority of his will power to not thrust up into Jared’s mouth.
The boy is slowly torturing him with long gentle licks up his length, pausing at the head to lap up the little dots of precum gathering there. Then, just when Jensen thinks he’s going to die from the pace, Jared is swallowing him whole.
“Fuck,” he hisses, not fighting back the thrust this time, nearly collapsing when the head of his cock brushes the back of Jared’s throat. He’s not sure how Jared learned to deep throat so well but he’s very grateful for it. “God Jared… so good…” he moans head falling back against the wall.
Jared hums around him, his head beginning to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. His hands dig into Jensen’s hips, which helps in keeping Jensen standing as he tumbles closer and closer to the end.
“Shit, Jared I’m gonna-“ He tugs on Jared’s hair as he hits, thrusting up repeatedly into Jared’s mouth.
A soft whimper falls from his lips as his knees finally give out and he slides down against the wall, Jared moving so he’s propped over him smiling brightly.
“That was fantastic,” Jensen mumbles, leaning forward as Jared sits in front of him. “Allow me to return the favor,” he grins, crawling forward to straddle Jared’s hips and lay him back.
Jared rolls over and Jensen can’t resist biting a few spots along his tanned neck before crawling down the long body, fingers making quick work of the zipper and buttons. He drags both the pants and boxers just past Jared’s hips, eyeing Jared’s cock hungrily.
Wrapping his hand around the base he sucks just the tip in, once more learning the taste of the boy as he begins a slow steady up and down motion, hand meeting mouth. It doesn’t take long to learn the pattern that drives Jared insane.
He moans deeply, reaching out to twist fingers through Jensen’s hair encouraging him to speed up. Jensen relaxes his throat, allowing Jared to guide him which is enough to begin a steady build of arousal winding through him tightly. If he hadn’t just come he’d probably be hard again.
When Jared comes his hands tightened almost painfully in Jensen’s hair, hips jerking up into his mouth with each long stream of heat hitting the back of his throat. He just has time to swallow before Jared is tugging on his shoulders, pulling him up to seal their lips together.
“Missed you…” Jared whispers against Jensen’s lips.
Jensen raises his head to look into Jared’s eyes. What he sees there surprises him. Hope and happiness but underneath that is fear, steady and strong. It hits him quite suddenly that Jared is putting everything out on the line, trusting Jensen unlike he’s trusted anyone in the past two years or maybe ever. He suddenly feels foolish for all the fears he’s felt in the past few days, “Yeah… I missed you too.” He smiles brightly.
Jared touches his cheek and they lay against each other for awhile, lips occasionally brushing as they enjoy each other’s warmth. Eventually they silently agree to get up off the floor, laughing as they tuck themselves back into their pants.
The thick of Jared’s palm wraps around his arm, tugging him to the bed. He lays back against it, pulling Jensen down beside him. Jensen curls against Jared’s side, his arm slipping across the thick chest, tracing swirling patterns along the shirt. “Jared… I want you to know I don’t expect you to just start talking constantly now. Take your time, whatever is best for you okay?”
“I know,” Jared’s voice is hoarse and still barely above a whisper, hand coming up to cup Jensen’s chin and tilt his head up. They hold eyes for a long time, Jared pressing several soft kisses along his face before going on, “I’m gonna… try. I promise.”
Jensen closes his eyes around the warmth circling through him, nodding so Jared knows he’s heard him and understands.
Jared stays with him on the bed for another hour sharing soft kisses without saying anything. Then he slides up and Jensen knows he has to go, after all its Christmas Eve and his family most likely has plans.
Jensen kisses him softly in front of the door to his bedroom before he opens it, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, then I’ll walk you out okay?”
Jared nods and Jensen hurries down the hall. When he comes back Jared is eyeing the pictures along the hallway as Mackenzie explains who the people are in each of them. “See that’s Jensen there. Wasn’t he such a cute kid? Pity he had to grow up…”
“Mackenzie…” he groans, knowing she’s showing the few baby pictures lined up there. “Ignore her Jared, she just has boyfriend envy.”
Jared snorts, smiling a thank you at Mackenzie before walking with Jensen down the steps. He opens the front door for Jared, gently reaching out to touch his arm. “Come over after Christmas if you want, okay?”
He receives a nod and a bright smile in return. Then just the faint whisper of, “Bye,” reaches his ears before Jared is heading down the walk.
When Jensen returns to his room there’s a bag on the bed. He walks over to it, heart already racing as his fingers reach out for it. The tag says ‘Merry Christmas Jensen. Love, Jared’ and that’s almost enough of a Christmas present for him. Well, that and the few words spoken previously of course.
Inside the bag he finds a photo album. The binding is black and simple, Jensen runs a finger over it before flipping it open. On the first page he finds pictures of trees half covered in leafs, artistically caught at angles that seem to capture all his favorite things about the season perfectly.
Scanning through the remaining pages he finds pictures of Sandy, Danneel, Chad and Tom, even some of Jared. There’s a shot of the tree Jared had pressed him up against and some of the familiar path that they walked home along. And all of them hold so much thought and meaning behind them that Jensen finds tears pricking along the rim of his eyes.
Setting the photo album on the nightstand with a faint smile and a brush of fingers along his eyes, Jensen starts to consider that Sandy might be right about Jared loving him as well.
*
Jensen receives money from both sets of Grandparents for Christmas and decides he’s getting a hotel room for New Years Eve. Of course his intentions are only the purest, he still remembers Jared’s reaction when first asked about sex, but can’t pass up the opportunity to spend a full night together.
He asks Jared’s opinion on the 26th when the man stops by. “So do you think it’d be okay? I mean, with your parents and such?”
Jared nods, biting his lip as his eyes flicker from Jensen to the bed and back.
“It doesn’t mean… don’t worry we won’t do anything you don’t want to okay?” Jensen reassures, palm tracing down along the now familiar jaw line.
The plan is set into motion and it’s not long before the big night. When it comes Jensen’s not really 100% sure how he made it to Jared’s front porch, but it’s too late to back out at this point because the door is opening and there is Jared’s mom.
“Oh hello Jensen, Jared should be out in a minute, come on in,” she swings the door wide for him and Jensen is mildly surprised at her pleasant greeting. “I do hope you boys will be safe tonight.”
“We will,” Jensen quickly assures her, wondering exactly what it is she thinks they will be doing.
“The Murray’s are always setting of dozens of fireworks and I’d hate for something to happen,” she frowns a little more.
Jensen smiles. Chad’s invitations to his New Years Eve party had come just before Christmas, he had forgotten about it but of course it was the perfect alibi. After all, the Padalecki’s knew Chad and his family and Jensen could easily text Chad and let him know the situation. “Well I plan on just watching them,” Jensen nods. “I’ll make sure Jared doesn’t attempt any pyrotechnics.”
A loud snort follows Jared into the room, his eyes rolling as he slides his backpack strap over his shoulder and leans down to press a kiss to his mom’s cheek. “You boys be safe,” she insists once more.
“We will,” Jensen nods before following Jared out to his car. “So, I’ll just let Chad know we were there yeah?”
Jared grins at him with a quick head bob before tossing his bag over the seat and sliding in.
*
The hotel room is nothing out of the ordinary. Just a large king size bed, a desk with a TV propped on it and a chair tucked under, a table with some chairs, a room service menu and the two nightstands on either side of the bed. The bathroom is a blinding white and nothing exciting but it doesn’t stop Jared from looking around at everything excitedly.
Jensen laughs watching him, throwing his bag down on the bed. “There’s always something exciting about hotels huh? No matter how plain they are.”
Jared beams at him, flopping onto the bed and bouncing a little up and down. His eyes shine brightly as he slides to the foot of the bed spreading his legs a little, reaching out for the man.
Jensen allows himself to be tugged forward, leaning into Jared’s chest and sealing their lips together softly. “I want to tell you something Jared…” he whispers, fingers carding through Jared’s hair, smiling as the boy watches him curiously. “I… I’m in love with you. A lot.”
The blue green of Jared’s eyes hold against his for several long moments and Jensen feels like he can’t breathe. Like his heart is being squeezed and the edges of his vision blur uneasily. And then, “I’m in love with you.”
Air rushes into his lungs with a harshness that almost stings. His smile stretches large before he’s leaning heavy against Jared, lips crashing together with the heat of the moment. He falls forward onto the bed laying on top of Jared, hips pressing together and causing each to moan softly into each other’s mouths.
Jared breaks the kiss, scooting further back on the bed, keeping his eyes locked with Jensen’s as he starts to unbutton his shirt.
Jensen trails his eyes down, watching the tan flesh come into view before crawling up Jared’s body, kicking his bag off the bed in the midst of toeing off his shoes. Jared reaches out to pull up the hem of Jensen’s shirt.
Soon both boys are naked, lying pressed against each other on top of the blanket as their lips slide and seal together. Tongues fight for dominance and Jensen moans as their hips rub slick and hot together.
Jared smoothes his hands over Jensen’s chest, holding him down as he begins to kiss and suck patterns along the flesh. He pauses long enough to leave just a faint bruise along his collar bone, smiling at his work before gently biting at a copper nipple.
“Shit,” Jensen hisses, body arching up into Jared’s mouth, hands pushing at his head. “More please…”
Jared chuckles, already crawling down his body. When he gets to Jensen’s cock he pauses and Jensen’s just about to beg for more when a firm hand parts his thighs, moving to slide under his body. Jensen hisses, his body tensing as he feels Jared’s finger gently twirl around the pucker there.
“Is this…” Jared clears his throat, looking up as Jensen raises his head to look down. “Is this okay?”
Jensen can only nod, head flopping back as the tip of the finger gently presses in. A tongue drags up the length of his cock and he groans, forcing himself to relax so the digit can slide all the way up in.
He’s never done this before. Of course he’s thought about it, considered how his body might stretch to give Jared access but actually feeling the finger buried deep inside is surreal. It quite suddenly makes him want more. Want everything.
And then Jared’s finger presses against that spot he’s only ever heard about and his vision blurs, his body arching up as he gasps, “Oh fuck…”
Jared smiles before pulling his finger quite suddenly out. Jensen hisses as the bed shifts, head jerking up to see Jared’s form knelt on the floor by his backpack.
“Whatcha doin?” He mumbles, hand moving to circle his dripping cock for some form of relief.
Jared is quickly crawling back on the bed, swatting Jensen’s hand away before popping open the bottle in his hand, squeezing the liquid onto it. He’s between Jensen’s legs again in the next moment, thighs spreading wide for him to slip his fingers between round cheeks.
Once more that pressure builds as Jared slips a finger back in, swirling it a few times before a second is slowly joining it. Jensen gasps, eyes slipping closed as hands once dig into Jared’s shoulders.
Jared’s lips slowly circle around the head of his cock, tongue snaking out to swirl the tip just as the second finger slides full in to the knuckle. It stings but not enough to really hurt and Jensen finds himself panting and writhing down onto Jared’s fingers.
A soft chuckle falls from Jared’s lips as he prepares a third finger to slide in the tight hole. It’s intense and sends bright sparks dancing along Jensen’s veins and behind his eyes. “Shit Jared… I want you…”
The fingers still and Jared’s head moves up, eyes scanning Jensen’s profile. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Jensen nods, feeling as if he’s never been more sure of anything in his life.
Jared nods, fingers beginning to scissor and stretch Jensen even as his other hand moves to flip open the cap of lube once more.
It occurs to him, as fingers pull out and Jared’s body shifts between his legs, that he’s about to give himself fully to this boy. That, from now on, no matter what happens Jared will always have some small piece of him.
This makes Jensen’s stomach flutter with nerves and his eyes widen as the tip of Jared’s cock presses against the ring of muscle. Then there’s a wave of stinging burn mixed with delicious pressure and Jensen can no longer use his brain.
“Oh fuck,” he gasps, nails digging into Jared’s flesh as the boy slides further forward. Jensen marvels the beauty that is Jared’s pleasure laced face. Skin red, lips pursed, eyes glazed.
“Jensen,” Jared growls when he’s fully sheathed inside. Jensen thinks he’s really not going to make it very long.
They’re frozen together like this for some time until the sting has completely faded and Jensen can’t take the waiting any longer. “Shit Jared. Fuckin’ move.”
That’s all it takes to spur Jared into action. He slides almost all the way out before angling in, tip brushing Jensen’s prostate. The ripple effect that washes over him causing his hips to move in a high arch. Sweat builds along his brow as Jared continues the steady, agonizingly slow pave.
Jensen feels like he might drop dead right on the spot but fuck if it’s going to be before his impending mind blowing orgasm. He circles an arm around Jared’s neck and tugs him forward, moaning into his ear, “You better fuckin’ fuck me Jared before I take matters into my own hands.”
Jared chuckles turning to brush a kiss along Jensen’s lips, whispering, “Needy bastard,” before slamming hard into him.
On a normal occasion Jensen would have plenty of retorts for this but any remaining coherency is lost in the repeated in out of Jared’s cock. The head brushes that sweet spot over and over as the pace continues to question.
Jensen’s not sure how long this last, it could be seconds or minutes, but it feels like hours or days, and then the world is suddenly tilting and his heart’s bursting. He’s coming with a scream of Jared’s name and a declaration of never ending love. It’s only mildly embarrassing, he considers later, but easy to write off along with the fact that Jared didn’t even touch his cock and he came harder than he can ever remember.
There’s only a half dozen short rapid thrusts before Jared stills and a long moan falls from his lips as he comes. Jensen is awed by the wave of open emotions filtering across his face. Love, want, hope, fear, desire, pain. He wishes he could understand them all. Could know what to say to destroy the bad ones and strengthen the good.
Then Jared is collapsing on top of him, gasping in mouthfuls of air and pressing tender kisses along his neck. “Perfect,” he mumbles.
Jensen can’t help beaming, hand moving to rub the small of the Jared’s back. “Speak for yourself.”
Jared snorts in amusement, rolling off Jensen to fall by his side. The room is hot and sticky but Jared pulls him close against his chest anyway. Jensen doesn’t mind. He thinks cuddling after sex is a perfect idea, no matter how sappy he feels it might be.
They lay in silence for some time afterwards and Jensen looses himself in thoughts. Like what Jared might be thinking. Or how fucking incredible it is that he’s just lost his virginity, on New Year’s Eve no less. It’s a story for the books though he figures he’ll keep it to himself regardless.
“Jensen…” Jared finally says into the silence, voice hardly above its usual whisper and Jensen thinks he could really get used to it’s pleasant timber.
“Yeah?” He rolls onto his side, propping himself on an elbow to look down at his lover. He smiles faintly and traces a finger up a firm jaw line.
“I really…” Jared clears his throat, looking around the room for a moment before his eyes once more meet Jensen’s. “I’d like to tell you my story.”
Part Six
Author:
anyothergirl415
Pairings: Jensen/Jared (other characters include the various randoms)
Rating: NC-17 (as an overall series, each part varies)
Disclaimer: Oh if only these boys were mine, the things I would do :)
Warnings: AU, HS fic, h/c, angst, schoomp
Words: 4,433 (this part)
Summary: Jensen would just like to let his parents know that moving at the beginning of his senior year is so not cool. But it’s forgivable if he can get the oh so pretty Jared Padalecki to just say something to him.
Author Notes: As always, thanks to the brilliant and amazing surevesta for betaing this and for the lovely banner! And thank you to everyone for your lovely feedback!
Jensen floats quite happily on cloud nine through the following morning, not even letting his sister’s teasing jabs bring him down. Part of his mind questioned whether the whole event was just a dream but the other part, the part that had memorized and replayed it dozens of times in a loop, told him it was not.
After lunch, which he’s pretty sure was good but can’t remember eating for the life of him, Jensen meets Sandy at the mall. He’d promised her that he would tag along for the last of her Christmas gift shopping since Danneel had to work.
She takes one look at his dreamy smile and laughs, “Well someone got laid last night.”
Jensen shakes his head, “Kind of did but that’s not it.”
“What is it then?” She questions, linking her arm through his as they start walking through the crowd of busy shoppers.
“I gave Jared his gift last night,” Jensen’s smile grew impossibly wider.
“And he liked it?” Sandy asked when Jensen didn’t continue.
“Oh he did,” Jensen nods, looking brightly at her. “In fact he even said thank you.”
“He what?!” Sandy screeched coming to a halt as people passing by threw her strange glances.
“He said, and I quote, ‘thank you Jensen’,” A near hysterical burst of laughter left his lips as he spun around in a giddy circle. Several people stared and quickened their paces.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! That’s so outrageously amazing and fantastic!” Sandy threw her arms around his middle, engulfing him in a tight hug. “Anything else?”
“No,” Jensen shook his head but the smile held firm. “I know it’s going to take time for words to start flowing, but god… hearing him say my name was just…” He trailed off, smiling blissfully at her. With all this smiling he thought it wouldn’t be long until his cheeks started hurting.
“Aw, I’m so happy for you Jensen!” Sandy rejoined their arms, leading him towards the Sharper Image store. “Now tell me all about last night, I want all the juicy details!”
Jensen laughs but starts in on a play by play of the evening’s events - leaving out the juicy details of course.
Three hours later Sandy had successfully finished questing for Christmas presents and Jensen had thoroughly described Jared’s various actions, explaining what each meant and how he had learned the subtleness that was the other boy. “Do I sound like a creepy stalker who sits outside Jared’s home watching him through binoculars each night?”
Sandy laughs, “No. Do you sit outside his home?”
“Of course not,” Jensen shakes his head, clearing his throat as they make their way out of the mall. “But I feel stupid for knowing these things, for spending almost every waking moment analyzing him. It’s almost like I…” At this he stops short, something sparking in his mind.
She turns to him, eyes shining brightly, “Almost like you love him?”
Jensen scoffs loudly, taking a few steps forward before stopping again, “I don’t love him. That’s crazy. I can’t love him.”
“Why not?” Sandy asks, gently tugging his arm to get them moving forward through the crowd again.
“Because, it’s not logical. I don’t know him. I mean, I know some things but not the basics. I don’t know his favorite color or movie or food. Hell I don’t even know the names of his family members! How can you love someone you don’t know?”
“Is that what you think love is?” Sandy lays her head against his shoulder as they walk into the parking lot. “Oh my little naive Jensen… love has nothing to do with knowing what someone likes to eat or watch.”
“No? And what exactly does it have to do with?” Jensen stares down at the top of her head, directing them towards his car.
Sandy is quiet until they come to a stop, she watches Jensen pull his keys from his pocket before smiling softly, “When you love someone it’s just them - the way they look at you, touch you - it’s not about knowing their little facts and quirks… that can come with time. The feeling though, it’s a deep subconscious type thing.”
“How can you be so sure?” Jensen slips the key into the lock, turning it but not reaching for the handle.
“Think of it this way…” Sandy bit her lip, brushing hair behind her ear. “If you find out Jared’s favorite color is hot pink and his favorite movie is Legally Blonde are you going to break up with him?”
Jensen bites out a sharp bark of laughter before it dies just as suddenly in his throat. He’s pretty sure Jared’s not too fond of hot pink or Legally Blonde, but he understands what Sandy is trying to say. And by admitting that, he realizes the truth:
He is hopelessly in love with Jared Padalecki.
“Shit,” he breaths, body falling back against the front door of his car.
“If it’s any consolation,” Sandy reaches out and presses a hand against his arm. “I’m pretty sure Jared feels the same.”
With that she turns, calling goodbye over her shoulder as she heads to her own car. Jensen watches her drop into the driver’s seat before he opens his door and slides in. With a soft sigh he allows his head to fall against the steering wheel. Being in love suddenly feels like a heavy weight on his shoulders that he isn’t too sure he can hold up.
*
Jensen spends the next three days trying to work up the nerve to drive over to Jared’s house. But everything feels so different now. The odd thing is nothing has really changed, Jensen supposes he felt exactly the same about Jared during their date but he just wasn’t aware of it then. Now he’s sure it’ll be written all over his face and that makes him feel so vulnerable.
He’s not used to the idea of someone having so much control over him.
It’s Christmas Eve and Jensen sits in front of his computer, pointlessly clicking through Wikipedia. Previously he’d been moping around the kitchen, but his mother had sent him away when his sighs and ceaseless pacing started getting in the way.
“Jensen!” He hears her call from downstairs. He gets up quickly, hoping she’ll have something for him to do to get his mind off Jared and how very much he misses him. “Jensen! Come down here please!”
“I’m coming!” He calls in return, jumping down the steps two at a time and landing in the hallway with a soft thud. “God, where’s the fire?”
Jensen swings around and freezes, eyes landing on his mother at the door. Which is she is closing behind a shy, smiling Jared.
“Jared,” he grins, walking forward but catching himself before embracing the boy in front of his mother. A blush crawls up his cheeks and he looks nervously at the ground. “Hey.”
Jared nods his traditional greeting and Jensen tries not to be disappointed. He knew Jared wasn’t going to just up and start talking, but he had still hoped…
“Well, Jared its good you came by. Jensen is driving us all crazy. Little love sick puppy dog,” She pats Jared casually on the arm with a warm smile before ruffling Jensen’s hair and walking back down the hall to the kitchen.
Jensen’s blush darkens and he quickly looks up to meet Jared’s eyes, “I really wasn’t like that. She’s exaggerating.”
Jared nods with only traces of a smile, clearly deciding to play along with Jensen’s defense. His hand moves out to caress Jensen’s arm and he jerks his head up in the direction of the bedroom.
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, leading the way up the stairs, heart fluttering rapidly.
The door closes with a click behind Jared and Jensen suddenly finds himself pressed against the wall, a large hand cupping his cheek as lips move to seal over his.
He moans deeply, his own hands lacing through Jared’s hair to hold them together. Lips part as tongues eagerly meet, twirling around and around as hips rocked against each other. Then Jared is dropping down on his knees, freeing Jensen’s cock from his pants and boxers before he can even figure out what’s happening.
“God…” he whispers, hands once more lacing through Jared’s thick hair as hot lips circle around him. It takes the good majority of his will power to not thrust up into Jared’s mouth.
The boy is slowly torturing him with long gentle licks up his length, pausing at the head to lap up the little dots of precum gathering there. Then, just when Jensen thinks he’s going to die from the pace, Jared is swallowing him whole.
“Fuck,” he hisses, not fighting back the thrust this time, nearly collapsing when the head of his cock brushes the back of Jared’s throat. He’s not sure how Jared learned to deep throat so well but he’s very grateful for it. “God Jared… so good…” he moans head falling back against the wall.
Jared hums around him, his head beginning to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. His hands dig into Jensen’s hips, which helps in keeping Jensen standing as he tumbles closer and closer to the end.
“Shit, Jared I’m gonna-“ He tugs on Jared’s hair as he hits, thrusting up repeatedly into Jared’s mouth.
A soft whimper falls from his lips as his knees finally give out and he slides down against the wall, Jared moving so he’s propped over him smiling brightly.
“That was fantastic,” Jensen mumbles, leaning forward as Jared sits in front of him. “Allow me to return the favor,” he grins, crawling forward to straddle Jared’s hips and lay him back.
Jared rolls over and Jensen can’t resist biting a few spots along his tanned neck before crawling down the long body, fingers making quick work of the zipper and buttons. He drags both the pants and boxers just past Jared’s hips, eyeing Jared’s cock hungrily.
Wrapping his hand around the base he sucks just the tip in, once more learning the taste of the boy as he begins a slow steady up and down motion, hand meeting mouth. It doesn’t take long to learn the pattern that drives Jared insane.
He moans deeply, reaching out to twist fingers through Jensen’s hair encouraging him to speed up. Jensen relaxes his throat, allowing Jared to guide him which is enough to begin a steady build of arousal winding through him tightly. If he hadn’t just come he’d probably be hard again.
When Jared comes his hands tightened almost painfully in Jensen’s hair, hips jerking up into his mouth with each long stream of heat hitting the back of his throat. He just has time to swallow before Jared is tugging on his shoulders, pulling him up to seal their lips together.
“Missed you…” Jared whispers against Jensen’s lips.
Jensen raises his head to look into Jared’s eyes. What he sees there surprises him. Hope and happiness but underneath that is fear, steady and strong. It hits him quite suddenly that Jared is putting everything out on the line, trusting Jensen unlike he’s trusted anyone in the past two years or maybe ever. He suddenly feels foolish for all the fears he’s felt in the past few days, “Yeah… I missed you too.” He smiles brightly.
Jared touches his cheek and they lay against each other for awhile, lips occasionally brushing as they enjoy each other’s warmth. Eventually they silently agree to get up off the floor, laughing as they tuck themselves back into their pants.
The thick of Jared’s palm wraps around his arm, tugging him to the bed. He lays back against it, pulling Jensen down beside him. Jensen curls against Jared’s side, his arm slipping across the thick chest, tracing swirling patterns along the shirt. “Jared… I want you to know I don’t expect you to just start talking constantly now. Take your time, whatever is best for you okay?”
“I know,” Jared’s voice is hoarse and still barely above a whisper, hand coming up to cup Jensen’s chin and tilt his head up. They hold eyes for a long time, Jared pressing several soft kisses along his face before going on, “I’m gonna… try. I promise.”
Jensen closes his eyes around the warmth circling through him, nodding so Jared knows he’s heard him and understands.
Jared stays with him on the bed for another hour sharing soft kisses without saying anything. Then he slides up and Jensen knows he has to go, after all its Christmas Eve and his family most likely has plans.
Jensen kisses him softly in front of the door to his bedroom before he opens it, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, then I’ll walk you out okay?”
Jared nods and Jensen hurries down the hall. When he comes back Jared is eyeing the pictures along the hallway as Mackenzie explains who the people are in each of them. “See that’s Jensen there. Wasn’t he such a cute kid? Pity he had to grow up…”
“Mackenzie…” he groans, knowing she’s showing the few baby pictures lined up there. “Ignore her Jared, she just has boyfriend envy.”
Jared snorts, smiling a thank you at Mackenzie before walking with Jensen down the steps. He opens the front door for Jared, gently reaching out to touch his arm. “Come over after Christmas if you want, okay?”
He receives a nod and a bright smile in return. Then just the faint whisper of, “Bye,” reaches his ears before Jared is heading down the walk.
When Jensen returns to his room there’s a bag on the bed. He walks over to it, heart already racing as his fingers reach out for it. The tag says ‘Merry Christmas Jensen. Love, Jared’ and that’s almost enough of a Christmas present for him. Well, that and the few words spoken previously of course.
Inside the bag he finds a photo album. The binding is black and simple, Jensen runs a finger over it before flipping it open. On the first page he finds pictures of trees half covered in leafs, artistically caught at angles that seem to capture all his favorite things about the season perfectly.
Scanning through the remaining pages he finds pictures of Sandy, Danneel, Chad and Tom, even some of Jared. There’s a shot of the tree Jared had pressed him up against and some of the familiar path that they walked home along. And all of them hold so much thought and meaning behind them that Jensen finds tears pricking along the rim of his eyes.
Setting the photo album on the nightstand with a faint smile and a brush of fingers along his eyes, Jensen starts to consider that Sandy might be right about Jared loving him as well.
*
Jensen receives money from both sets of Grandparents for Christmas and decides he’s getting a hotel room for New Years Eve. Of course his intentions are only the purest, he still remembers Jared’s reaction when first asked about sex, but can’t pass up the opportunity to spend a full night together.
He asks Jared’s opinion on the 26th when the man stops by. “So do you think it’d be okay? I mean, with your parents and such?”
Jared nods, biting his lip as his eyes flicker from Jensen to the bed and back.
“It doesn’t mean… don’t worry we won’t do anything you don’t want to okay?” Jensen reassures, palm tracing down along the now familiar jaw line.
The plan is set into motion and it’s not long before the big night. When it comes Jensen’s not really 100% sure how he made it to Jared’s front porch, but it’s too late to back out at this point because the door is opening and there is Jared’s mom.
“Oh hello Jensen, Jared should be out in a minute, come on in,” she swings the door wide for him and Jensen is mildly surprised at her pleasant greeting. “I do hope you boys will be safe tonight.”
“We will,” Jensen quickly assures her, wondering exactly what it is she thinks they will be doing.
“The Murray’s are always setting of dozens of fireworks and I’d hate for something to happen,” she frowns a little more.
Jensen smiles. Chad’s invitations to his New Years Eve party had come just before Christmas, he had forgotten about it but of course it was the perfect alibi. After all, the Padalecki’s knew Chad and his family and Jensen could easily text Chad and let him know the situation. “Well I plan on just watching them,” Jensen nods. “I’ll make sure Jared doesn’t attempt any pyrotechnics.”
A loud snort follows Jared into the room, his eyes rolling as he slides his backpack strap over his shoulder and leans down to press a kiss to his mom’s cheek. “You boys be safe,” she insists once more.
“We will,” Jensen nods before following Jared out to his car. “So, I’ll just let Chad know we were there yeah?”
Jared grins at him with a quick head bob before tossing his bag over the seat and sliding in.
*
The hotel room is nothing out of the ordinary. Just a large king size bed, a desk with a TV propped on it and a chair tucked under, a table with some chairs, a room service menu and the two nightstands on either side of the bed. The bathroom is a blinding white and nothing exciting but it doesn’t stop Jared from looking around at everything excitedly.
Jensen laughs watching him, throwing his bag down on the bed. “There’s always something exciting about hotels huh? No matter how plain they are.”
Jared beams at him, flopping onto the bed and bouncing a little up and down. His eyes shine brightly as he slides to the foot of the bed spreading his legs a little, reaching out for the man.
Jensen allows himself to be tugged forward, leaning into Jared’s chest and sealing their lips together softly. “I want to tell you something Jared…” he whispers, fingers carding through Jared’s hair, smiling as the boy watches him curiously. “I… I’m in love with you. A lot.”
The blue green of Jared’s eyes hold against his for several long moments and Jensen feels like he can’t breathe. Like his heart is being squeezed and the edges of his vision blur uneasily. And then, “I’m in love with you.”
Air rushes into his lungs with a harshness that almost stings. His smile stretches large before he’s leaning heavy against Jared, lips crashing together with the heat of the moment. He falls forward onto the bed laying on top of Jared, hips pressing together and causing each to moan softly into each other’s mouths.
Jared breaks the kiss, scooting further back on the bed, keeping his eyes locked with Jensen’s as he starts to unbutton his shirt.
Jensen trails his eyes down, watching the tan flesh come into view before crawling up Jared’s body, kicking his bag off the bed in the midst of toeing off his shoes. Jared reaches out to pull up the hem of Jensen’s shirt.
Soon both boys are naked, lying pressed against each other on top of the blanket as their lips slide and seal together. Tongues fight for dominance and Jensen moans as their hips rub slick and hot together.
Jared smoothes his hands over Jensen’s chest, holding him down as he begins to kiss and suck patterns along the flesh. He pauses long enough to leave just a faint bruise along his collar bone, smiling at his work before gently biting at a copper nipple.
“Shit,” Jensen hisses, body arching up into Jared’s mouth, hands pushing at his head. “More please…”
Jared chuckles, already crawling down his body. When he gets to Jensen’s cock he pauses and Jensen’s just about to beg for more when a firm hand parts his thighs, moving to slide under his body. Jensen hisses, his body tensing as he feels Jared’s finger gently twirl around the pucker there.
“Is this…” Jared clears his throat, looking up as Jensen raises his head to look down. “Is this okay?”
Jensen can only nod, head flopping back as the tip of the finger gently presses in. A tongue drags up the length of his cock and he groans, forcing himself to relax so the digit can slide all the way up in.
He’s never done this before. Of course he’s thought about it, considered how his body might stretch to give Jared access but actually feeling the finger buried deep inside is surreal. It quite suddenly makes him want more. Want everything.
And then Jared’s finger presses against that spot he’s only ever heard about and his vision blurs, his body arching up as he gasps, “Oh fuck…”
Jared smiles before pulling his finger quite suddenly out. Jensen hisses as the bed shifts, head jerking up to see Jared’s form knelt on the floor by his backpack.
“Whatcha doin?” He mumbles, hand moving to circle his dripping cock for some form of relief.
Jared is quickly crawling back on the bed, swatting Jensen’s hand away before popping open the bottle in his hand, squeezing the liquid onto it. He’s between Jensen’s legs again in the next moment, thighs spreading wide for him to slip his fingers between round cheeks.
Once more that pressure builds as Jared slips a finger back in, swirling it a few times before a second is slowly joining it. Jensen gasps, eyes slipping closed as hands once dig into Jared’s shoulders.
Jared’s lips slowly circle around the head of his cock, tongue snaking out to swirl the tip just as the second finger slides full in to the knuckle. It stings but not enough to really hurt and Jensen finds himself panting and writhing down onto Jared’s fingers.
A soft chuckle falls from Jared’s lips as he prepares a third finger to slide in the tight hole. It’s intense and sends bright sparks dancing along Jensen’s veins and behind his eyes. “Shit Jared… I want you…”
The fingers still and Jared’s head moves up, eyes scanning Jensen’s profile. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Jensen nods, feeling as if he’s never been more sure of anything in his life.
Jared nods, fingers beginning to scissor and stretch Jensen even as his other hand moves to flip open the cap of lube once more.
It occurs to him, as fingers pull out and Jared’s body shifts between his legs, that he’s about to give himself fully to this boy. That, from now on, no matter what happens Jared will always have some small piece of him.
This makes Jensen’s stomach flutter with nerves and his eyes widen as the tip of Jared’s cock presses against the ring of muscle. Then there’s a wave of stinging burn mixed with delicious pressure and Jensen can no longer use his brain.
“Oh fuck,” he gasps, nails digging into Jared’s flesh as the boy slides further forward. Jensen marvels the beauty that is Jared’s pleasure laced face. Skin red, lips pursed, eyes glazed.
“Jensen,” Jared growls when he’s fully sheathed inside. Jensen thinks he’s really not going to make it very long.
They’re frozen together like this for some time until the sting has completely faded and Jensen can’t take the waiting any longer. “Shit Jared. Fuckin’ move.”
That’s all it takes to spur Jared into action. He slides almost all the way out before angling in, tip brushing Jensen’s prostate. The ripple effect that washes over him causing his hips to move in a high arch. Sweat builds along his brow as Jared continues the steady, agonizingly slow pave.
Jensen feels like he might drop dead right on the spot but fuck if it’s going to be before his impending mind blowing orgasm. He circles an arm around Jared’s neck and tugs him forward, moaning into his ear, “You better fuckin’ fuck me Jared before I take matters into my own hands.”
Jared chuckles turning to brush a kiss along Jensen’s lips, whispering, “Needy bastard,” before slamming hard into him.
On a normal occasion Jensen would have plenty of retorts for this but any remaining coherency is lost in the repeated in out of Jared’s cock. The head brushes that sweet spot over and over as the pace continues to question.
Jensen’s not sure how long this last, it could be seconds or minutes, but it feels like hours or days, and then the world is suddenly tilting and his heart’s bursting. He’s coming with a scream of Jared’s name and a declaration of never ending love. It’s only mildly embarrassing, he considers later, but easy to write off along with the fact that Jared didn’t even touch his cock and he came harder than he can ever remember.
There’s only a half dozen short rapid thrusts before Jared stills and a long moan falls from his lips as he comes. Jensen is awed by the wave of open emotions filtering across his face. Love, want, hope, fear, desire, pain. He wishes he could understand them all. Could know what to say to destroy the bad ones and strengthen the good.
Then Jared is collapsing on top of him, gasping in mouthfuls of air and pressing tender kisses along his neck. “Perfect,” he mumbles.
Jensen can’t help beaming, hand moving to rub the small of the Jared’s back. “Speak for yourself.”
Jared snorts in amusement, rolling off Jensen to fall by his side. The room is hot and sticky but Jared pulls him close against his chest anyway. Jensen doesn’t mind. He thinks cuddling after sex is a perfect idea, no matter how sappy he feels it might be.
They lay in silence for some time afterwards and Jensen looses himself in thoughts. Like what Jared might be thinking. Or how fucking incredible it is that he’s just lost his virginity, on New Year’s Eve no less. It’s a story for the books though he figures he’ll keep it to himself regardless.
“Jensen…” Jared finally says into the silence, voice hardly above its usual whisper and Jensen thinks he could really get used to it’s pleasant timber.
“Yeah?” He rolls onto his side, propping himself on an elbow to look down at his lover. He smiles faintly and traces a finger up a firm jaw line.
“I really…” Jared clears his throat, looking around the room for a moment before his eyes once more meet Jensen’s. “I’d like to tell you my story.”
Part Six