Six Years After 2/4 - Jared/Jensen
Title: Six Years After 2/4
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him - mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.
"I just can't do this. It's sunny and he'll be glistening and in water and I keep trying not to think about him like that but how can I possibly just ignore what's right in front of my eyes every god damn minute? He's always bending over getting the laundry or doing the dishes and his ass is just-"
"Jesus mother fucking Christ when did I become your gay hotline?" Chad practically screamed to smother Jensen's words. "I cannot handle any further ass talk. My ears have just been violated. My soul is dirty, my poor innocence."
Chad's outburst was too high pitched and over exaggerated but it had the desired effect. A smile twitched at Jensen's lips and he turned away from the mirror where he'd been examining the complete lack of a six pack. Somehow Jensen was still managing to maintain his friendship with Chad - though he'd completely failed when attempting to create the same connection with Jared. It helped that Jensen saw Chad like a playful puppy you couldn't help throw a tennis ball for while Jared was more... the star of every naughty fantasy Jensen was resolutely pretending not to have.
"Would you just sympathize with me? I mean, honestly, he wants to go swimming." Jensen groaned and crossed the room in wide limping steps, snatching his cane thankfully from where it was leaning against the desk.
He'd been home less than a week and already his muscles seemed to be at a maximum. Jared kept insisting Jensen relax more - and not go up and down the stairs more than really necessary - but Jensen hated feeling so weak. That was probably why the pool thing had come up, Jared thought it would be a brilliant work out. Jensen was pretty sure he was going to black out.
"So you want me to sympathize with you because you get to hop in a swimming pool with the object of your pervy, lust filled fantasies? Oh yes, my heart goes out to you," Chad said flatly and Jensen could just imagine his eye roll.
There was a knock at the door that interrupted Jensen mid-snort. Since the wood creaked open with the force of Jared's fist the man was able to hear the ridiculous noise even as Jensen spun and choked on it. Because, there Jared was in all his swim trunk glory, all bronzed and rippling and Chad was really fucking right about the pervy lust filled fantasies.
"Jen?" Chad's voice echoed through the line. "Please tell me you're not having some literal vision about Jared now."
"It doesn't work that way," Jensen mumbled though he couldn't take his eyes off Jared. "I gotta go."
"Have fun in the pool sweetie, play nice with the big bo-"
Jensen hung up before Chad could say any more - just in case Jared could hear the man and his tendency to talk way too fucking loud. Jared just kept staring at him with a warm smile, leaning against the doorframe like he had no care in the world that he was near naked. But hell, if Jensen looked like Jared did, he strut around naked all the time without a care in the world.
"Chad's an asshole," Jensen muttered though it had been at least a minute since he hung up. A long, drawn out moment in which he'd just been staring open mouthed at Jared like some sort of socially stunted idiot. Awesome.
Six years in a coma apparently reset all his well learned social skills.
Jared just laughed and turned, heading out of the room. "Could have told you that," he called over his shoulder. "Come on, let's go get wet."
Jensen tried not to shiver at the mental images sparked up by Jared's words but he was kind of doomed. He followed - naughty fantasies be damned - much slower and prayed he did nothing in the pool to seriously embarrass himself. More than he already had at least.
By the time he made it outside Jared was already in the pool and swimming laps. Jensen took a moment to stare and appreciate the bunch give pull of Jared's muscles each time he breached the surface and dipped back down. When Jared stood at the edge of the pool, water trailing down miles of golden skin, Jensen felt his cock fattening in a way it hadn't in a ridiculously long time.
The doctors had warned him it could take a few more months for his sexual drive to return. The doctors, apparently, had never met Jared Padalecki.
"Ready? I promise we'll take it easy, see how you feel and go from there okay?" Jared's smile was soft and easy and Jensen really had to envy how easy this all was for him.
He never got twitchy or stuttery around Jensen. He never stopped and stared with lust in his eyes and a rapidly hardening cock - not that Jensen noticed at least, which was assuming he was gay to begin with. Which, knowing Jensen's luck, was not the case. And who would want someone with Jensen's amount of baggage anyway?
Oh hey, date me, even though I've been in a coma for the last six years and can see the future when I touch someone. No big.
"Jen? You're going to have to trust me at some point," Jared murmured, soft and understanding like he could read Jensen's thoughts.
He couldn't, thank god, otherwise Jensen was fairly sure he'd be not the least bit understanding and probably a little pissed. Jensen forced a small smile on his face and stepped forward, leaning his cane against the deck chair. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's just... I'm like a cat, right? I hate water. Water hates me."
"Meow." Jared grinned and climbed out of the water.
Before Jensen could even roll his eyes the man was right there scooping Jensen easily up in his arms and carrying him down the steps into the water. Jensen flailed and remembered seconds before it was too late that he couldn't let his hands touch Jared's bare skin. Now would be the worst of all times to have any sort of vision about Jared. Jensen was far too focused on the what the fucking fuck.
"I am capable of walking you know," Jensen muttered though it sounded rather pitiful even to his own ears.
Of course and naturally, Jared just laughed and set him in the shallow end, stepping back and out of Jensen's personal bubble. Which was probably a good thing since Jensen was just about to stroke the man's biceps to see if they really were rippling. God. Fuck Jensen's life.
If he managed to survive any of this it was going to be a miracle.
-===-
Jensen hovered just outside the kitchen, watching as Jared swiveled his hips and sang - rather poorly - along with the radio. The man's tendency to wear an absurd lack of clothing was getting kind of too much - like mowing the lawns without a shirt and cleaning the bathrooms barefoot with tan khaki shorts. Who the fuck wore tan khaki shorts anyway?
Not even to mention the whole swimming pool fiasco that replayed in Jensen's memories like mentally downloaded softcore porn.
So there was now, in which Jared was cooking breakfast while wearing only boxers. And yes, this was the place Jared basically lived now - Jensen had offered him a day or two off a week but so far the man hadn't taken more than an evening one night. That was no reason or excuse to dress like a fucking prostitute.
Maybe that was a little on the extreme side. But seriously.
"If you get grease on your man bits I reserve the right to laugh at you," Jensen mumbled, forcing himself to step into the room because just standing out there staring was ridiculous.
Jared shot him one of those lethal dimple laced grins then turned back to the frying pan on the stove, flipping the omelette easily. "You just said man bits. I can laugh at you forever now."
Jensen rolled his eyes and tried not to limp too obviously as he headed across the kitchen to the bar stool. After the first few days of being back in his old family home Jared had not so subtly suggested the stairs were too much for Jensen but that only implied Jensen was somehow weak and he was not having that. So he'd kept his mouth shut, even as his muscles began to protest and he reached the point that making more than two trips up the stairs was about his limit.
Even then he spent a good part of the night in agony.
"You know, you're supposed to tell me when the pain is intolerable." Jared sighed and turned to set a plate and the omelette in front of Jensen's stool before he'd even had the chance to sit.
Rolling his lips together, Jensen pushed up onto the stool, unable to hide a wince as his muscles ached. "It's not. Not intolerable anyway. I just... I have to move a lot more here than I did in the clinic. I'm still getting used to things."
"Well it really doesn't have to be painful. At least not that painful. I'm here to help you." Before Jensen could really decide what that meant Jared was crossing the counter, laying his hands over Jensen's shoulders and massaging slowly. "I can help you."
Jensen instantly tensed, forcing himself to slowly relax as Jared's hands slid down the curve of his shoulders. It really hadn't taken Jensen long to learn that he only had the visions when his bare hands touched someone else's bare skin but he still expected it after every touch - though the work out sessions in the pool really should have been reassuring. It was kind of horrible to know how limited his ability to touch was; Except when Chad touched him because - for whatever the reason - Jensen only got one vision per person apparently.
Not that Chad wanted to touch him much, or that Jensen wanted Chad to either.
"What are you thinking about?" Jared asked quietly, massaging his thumbs in slow circles at the base of Jensen's neck.
"Chad," Jensen answered automatically, wincing as Jared squeezed just a little too tight. "Uh, that sounds a lot weirder than I meant."
Jared chuckled though Jensen thought it might sound weird - not that he spent a lot of time analyzing Jared's laughs or anything. "Right. Well, you want me to rub out some of the kinks here?"
"What now?" Jensen huffed, arm swinging out as he struggled to turn and knocked his glass of orange juice across the counter.
It fell to the floor and shattered and Jensen took the opportunity of Jared's distraction to flee the room. Fuck breakfast and his aching - protesting - muscles and Jared's far too enticing offer. Jared was a nice guy, he helped around the house and forced him through ridiculous work outs, and Jensen just kept making an idiot out of himself. His life was just too complicated for this shit.
Jensen planned on heading outside, getting some fresh air, but he was thrown headlong into an unexpected vision as he tugged the door open and stepped right into a thin blond standing in the doorway, his hand curling over her arm to keep from falling.
"It-it was just so sudden. We didn't... oh god. How am I supposed to be okay without him? He means- meant, so much t-to me."
"Shh. It's okay Katie, I know it's..." Jared trailed off with a sad sigh, wrapping his arms tight around the blond and holding her close. "He was so strong, he held on as long as he could."
"But he's my best friend," Katie choked on another sob, clinging to Jared until he was supporting all of her weight. "My brother- he was- he's everything."
"I know Katie, I know. It's going to be okay, he'd want you to- he wouldn't want-" Jared choked on his words, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Jen? You okay?" Jared was there now and gasping Jensen's arm, pulling him back and away from Katie. "Katie? What's- are you hurt?"
Katie simply shook her head and Jensen's heart ached for the girl he didn't even know - who could very well be Jared's girlfriend really. Jensen swallowed thickly and stepped back, trying to stop tears from forming in his eyes. He hadn't felt a vision so utterly heart wrenching before, at least not since the moment in the rec room with Sandy.
"What's going on?" Jared asked quietly, looking between them both with confusion.
"It's..." Katie choked on a sob and shook her head, folding her arms protectively over her chest.
"Her brother," Jensen answered before he could think better of it.
The surprise on Katie's face was clear even through her agony and she dropped her arms, staring wide eyed at Jensen. "How did you know that?"
Thankfully, Jensen didn't have to come up with some answer he didn't have. Because Katie's brother must have been sick for a while and Jared knew it. The man sucked in a quick breath and stepped forward, drawing Katie close in a tight hug. "Did it happen? Oh Katie, I'm so sorry."
Jensen left before attention could be brought to him once more. He glanced back long enough to watch Jared leading Katie off. He needed to find a way to shake the way it felt like his entire world had just been lost. This vision had clearly affected him more than any other.
-===-
For the first time since Jared had moved in two weeks before, Jensen ate dinner alone - food that he'd made himself no less. In fact, he didn't see Jared again until the following morning, while he was still reeling with a wave of shock after watching Katie walk almost blindly through the kitchen in one of Jared's too big shirts. She'd poured herself a mug of coffee, left it black, and turned to exit the room without so much as a glance at him.
Never mind it being Jensen's house and all.
Minutes later, while Jensen was struggling to calm the irrational pinch of jealousy in his chest, Jared turned up and well, Jensen honestly didn't mean to snap. It just kind of happened. "I didn't realize you'd been given permission for your girlfriend to stay over at my house."
Jared's steps faltered and he slowly turned to Jensen, considering him with an arched brow and a twitch at the side of his mouth that suggested he was trying not to smirk. "And where did you get the idea that she's my girlfriend?"
Understandably, Jensen wished he could take back the words. Or replay this entire morning so he could make a quick escape out of the kitchen the moment Katie disappeared. Instead he ducked his face to hide the flame of color to his cheeks and sighed. "Sorry, that's none of my business. I um- I don't care if your girlfriend stays over. It's- yeah, whatever. This is your home too."
"I'm not his girlfriend," Katie said quietly from the kitchen doorway, looking a lot more awake than she had before. She was dressed now in the clothes from yesterday and her eyes were red and puffy, reminding Jensen just how heart wrenching his vision of her yesterday had been. "Everyone knows Jared is-"
"Better off single," Jared swiftly interrupted, shooting Katie a look that Jensen couldn't decipher. "And sorry, Jensen, you had every right to be mad. It is your home and I should check with you before having someone stay over."
Jensen swallowed down his internal voice that was not too quietly screaming jack ass and gave Katie a small smile. "I understand. Katie, I'm really sorry about your brother I... you two must have been close."
Katie shifted away from the doorframe and cleared her throat, carrying her cup to the sink and rinsing it out. "We were. How did you know about that anyway? It being my brother and all?"
"Oh I um..." Jensen glanced from Katie to Jared, his heart quickening in his ears. The first vision Jensen had had in two weeks and he was facing having to explain it two people, one of which he still had to live with. Even when they were both likely to consider him insane. "I just... I... I think I need some fresh air. Just a walk, I'll be back."
Before either of them could question him Jensen stood and limped as quickly as he could from the kitchen, his cane clicking loudly on the hardwood floor. He knew as long as Katie was around there would be nothing but questions and even then Jared would probably press for more - knowing Jensen's luck the man would likely accuse him of being a stalker or something else ridiculous.
And what was Jared's deal anyway?
Who was really better off single? Sure Jensen was going through a bit of a romantic slump but he had a damn good reason - six year coma, former love of your life moving on, all that jazz - and as far as Jensen knew, Jared had none of those reasons.
Jensen stopped with his hand on the front door knob, a thought hitting him hard enough it nearly hurt. He had no idea if Jared had any reason for being better off without someone because he didn't know Jared at all. Two weeks he'd been living with this man and he was more likely to go out of his way not to interact because of his pathetic fears rather than even trying to create some sort of friendship.
God damn, Jensen really was a jack ass.
"Jensen? Are you okay?" Jared - unsurprisingly - was there a beat later, touching Jensen's shoulder in a way he never seemed able to help. Some sort of comforting caress to ground both people to the moment.
If only it didn't make Jensen's heart pick up speed and his palms begin to sweat. He swallowed thickly and released the door knob, turning to face Jared and smiling uncertainly. "Do you want to go do something today?"
Surprise - or what Jensen assumed was surprise considering how little he knew about Jared - crossed Jared's features before he smiled. "Yeah? Like what?"
"Um... well I haven't been to the city center in... a really long ass time. We could go there, they have some neat shops." Jensen shrugged and glanced toward the entryway where Katie was lingering. "I mean, unless you need the day off. It's okay, you can spend some time with Katie, help her out or whatever."
"She has to get home to her family." Jared's smile softened like he was reading more into Jensen's words than he should. It would just figure. "I'd love to go to the city center. And here I thought you were mastering your hermit skills."
Jensen flushed at that and ducked his head, small smile playing across his lips. "I've just been working up to the idea of crowds again. I um, I'm just going to go shower then."
He brushed past Jared to head for the stairs, ready to slip under too hot water and not think about that gorgeous dimple curved smile on Jared's face while he jacked off. Once upon a time Jensen was fairly sure things like smiles didn't turn him on.
"Oh hey Jen-" Jared turned and caught his hand and Jensen only had a moment to stare at Jared's lips as they continued to form words that were silent before his vision swam and faded.
Jensen's eyes widened as he found himself staring at... himself. In bed. With Jared. His bed, his bedroom, bodies bare.
The Jensen on the bed moaned softly and rolled away from the sunshine breaking through the blinds. "It is too early to be awake."
"Well maybe if someone hadn't kept me up until two in the morning," Jared snorted and slid closer, tucking arms around Jensen's and pulling him in close so their bare bodies pressed flushed together.
Shock was rippling through Jensen as he crossed over to the bed, staring down at the image of himself and Jared and trying to accept that what he was seeing was real. This didn't seem like a first time deal, they were comfortable together, like this, like they'd been doing this thing for a while.
"That was entirely your fault. I take no respons-" Jensen cut off as Jared's cell phone started playing the original cast version of 'Slipping Through My Fingers' from the musical Mamma Mia. Jensen's brows arched and Jared huffed a laugh as he rolled over to the nightstand.
"Yeah I know, so gay of me, you really need better lines." Jared grinned over at Jensen then answered, lifting the device to his ear. "Hey Mom! How's-"
"Jared-" A woman's voice gasped on the line and, though it seemed the version of him on the bed couldn't hear, Jensen was able to hear her choked sobs clearly. "Your father- it's- oh Jared."
"Mom? What is it? What's wrong?" Jared pushed up off the bed, digging hands roughly up through his hair. "What happened to Dad?"
"He's gone, baby. He had a- he had a heart attack and I- there's nothing I could- it all happened so- so fast."
"Gone?" There were tears streaming down his cheeks and the version of him on the bed instantly moved forward, eyes full of worry. "Mom... Dad is... is he dead?"
"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so, so sorry."
Jensen's knees gave out as he was the room faded and shifted, overwhelmed by the grief and agony lingering from the vision. He'd never felt such an all-consuming swell of heart wrenching pain, not even when he'd learned of the loss of his own father.
"Jensen! Jen!" Jared's arm was firm around Jensen's waist, holding him up, his eyes full of concern. "Hey, you with me?"
"Oh my god." Jensen stared for a long moment as he tried to pull himself the rest of the way from the vision. There was warmth and concern and none of that agony in Jared's face now and it was nearly too much. How could he handle knowing what horrible thing was in Jared's future and not say anything? Jensen pushed away, stumbling back and grasping through thin air like his cane might magically appear. But he'd dropped it during the vision and Jensen's hands windmilled as he began to fall.
Once again Jared was right there, tugging Jensen flush against his body, the worry doubled on his features. "What's going on?"
Just to the side of Jared, Jensen could see Katie looking just as concerned and panic began to rise in his chest. There was nothing about this vision he could handle - not knowing about Jared losing his father, in such a horrible and shocking way. Or knowing that somehow, not too far down the line, they would be cuddled up like lovers in bed sharing inside jokes and late night whatevers.
"I'm... I'm so sorry," Jensen whispered and pulled free from the arm across his waist, fumbling down to pull up his cane and quickly hurry forward. His leg was aching, his heart felt like someone was squeezing it tightly between a clenched fist and tears were beginning to prick along his eyes.
"Jensen?" Jared whispered and Jensen knew he was reaching out to touch but he fell short, Jensen felt just the whisper of a fabric rustle as the fingers fell passed.
"I need... I need Chad. Please. Please call him." Not waiting for an answer, Jensen pushed forward and climbed up the stairs, trying to keep from shaking.
Once the door was closed behind him, Jensen crossed to his bed and dropped down on the mattress, trying to forget the image of Jared laying there with him. Because the last thing he needed was to get turned on while struggling with how to tell Jared his entire life was about to fall apart.
-===-
The soft tap on wood pulled Jensen from his thoughts - which featured a constant stream of his vision playing over and over like a horrible silent film on repeat. The look of adoration on Jensen's face as Jared pressed closer, the way their skin brushed and burned together, the easy warm and familiar smile on Jared's lips. Then, the look of shock as he answered the phone, the barely there moment of disbelief followed quickly by the world shattering agony. Like someone had just taken everything Jared held dear and tore it away.
Jensen didn't know about Jared's relationship with his father - just like he didn't really know anything about Jared - but it was clear they had to be pretty close.
"Hey, Jen? You in there?" Jared's voice called through his door followed by a barely audible sigh. "Is everything okay?"
"Is Chad here?" Jensen asked instead of answering any of the questions. He still wasn't even sure if he could talk to Jared yet, now without blurting out the whole truth of the vision. Then Jared would think he was insane and probably try to get him admitted somewhere, or he'd just leave and Jensen would never see him again.
Maybe Jensen wasn't ready to accept the idea of them getting involved - because knowing parts of his own future was weirdly disconcerting - but he wasn't ready for Jared to just be gone either.
"Will you let me in? So we can talk?" Jared didn't sound annoyed - like Jensen was sure Chad would - just patient and caring like always.
The man was too good to deserve the upcoming blow. "It's open," Jensen finally murmured, ducking his head down because he thought it might be easier not to see Jared's face.
"Chad has to work until four but he promised to come over after that. You still feel like going out? We could take a walk, kill some time until he can come over." Jared spoke quietly once he'd opened the door, leaning against the frame easily.
A good deal of Jensen didn't want to go out with Jared and not just because of his fear of crowds - how would he resist telling? But another part, just as equally pressing, kept picturing how wrecked Jared looked when he learned the news and Jensen felt like he had to comfort the man. Even if it hadn't happened yet.
"What about Katie?" He asked as he slowly stood, reaching out for the cane leaning on the nightstand.
"She went home. She needs to be with her family now." Jared turned away for a moment and Jensen was compelled by the sudden urge to rush forward and tug him in for a hug. It wasn't like he had an excuse not to touch now, he used up his one vision quota. "She said bye though. And mentioned that you were a bit of a spaz. Which... she wasn't wrong."
Jensen managed a faint laugh as he moved to slip into his shoes. Guilt and sadness were eating away at him but Jensen forced the thoughts away. For now, he would take the time to give Jared a chance. And maybe, once he'd spoken with Chad, he would know how to fix this vision just like he had done before.
-===-
The crowd was constant and big, swarming down the sidewalk and across the streets, weaving around the center, and Jensen was frozen for a long minute just outside the passenger door. Why he thought this would be a good idea was beyond him. Except it seemed to be making Jared happy and that helped in erasing that pained look that kept flashing across Jensen's vision whenever his eyes closed.
"I promise not to leave your side," Jared said softly from his side, grinning when Jensen tilted his head up for their gazes to meet. "Think of me as your personal body guard."
Great. Now Jared could be Jensen's personal body guard and save him from all the nasty crowds and in return Jensen would deliver Jared the news that his dad was going to die of a heart attack. Jensen was a horrible human being. God, if he could learn to shut up his internal monologue that would be fan-fucking-tastic. Also, it would probably keep Jared from getting that soft, fond little smile he always seemed to wear whenever Jensen got a little carried away with his thoughts. Like now.
"Stop smiling at me like that, it's creeping me out," Jensen huffed and curled his fingers tight around the top of his cane, pushing his way through the crowd though he wasn't entirely sure he was ready yet.
The city center hadn't changed much from Jensen's memories, a few of the shops looked different but then he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually just browsed through the area. A shoulder brushed against his and Jensen glanced over at Jared who was glancing around the crowd with pursed lips.
For just a moment Jensen wondered if he'd offended the man but Jared never seemed put out by anything Jensen said - no matter how rude - and why would it matter to him anyway? It wasn't like Jensen had taken any time to really get to know the man he'd been living with for the last two weeks.
How the hell did they get to being together like he'd seen if Jared was apparently better off single? Was it possible that Jensen's vision had just been some horrible mistake? For all Jensen knew, Jared didn't even like guys. It wasn't like he'd shown any particular interest in Jensen.
They might as well be strangers - though Jensen had seen a good deal of Jared's bare skin - and he didn't know how to change that.
"Why aren't you dating Katie?" Jensen blurted out the question, figuring it was as good a place to start as any. And it definitely wasn't at all suggestive about his vision.
Jared glanced his way, bemused, before shrugging and clearing his throat. "Would be awkward I guess."
"Why awkward? You seemed plenty close." Jensen knew that most people - normal people - had social skills that involved normal conversations - like getting to know someone and working your way up to challenging questions. Apparently - and obviously - Jensen was not normal.
"Well..." Jared blew out a shaky breath and carded fingers through that damn gorgeous hair before finishing, "I dated her brother. So. Awkward."
Okay, well, Jensen honestly should have seen that one coming. He was a craptastic psychic. So maybe he'd known Jared was into guys but relationships... they'd covered Jared's complete lack of them. Maybe Katie's brother was the reason why.
"The one who died?" Again, with the tact, Jensen was impressing himself with his lack of it.
Jared stopped walking and turned to face him, smile fading slightly as he nodded. "The one who died. He's been sick for a long time. He had AIDS."
The way Jensen's heart skipped a beat and threatened to implode actually hurt. He turned slowly to face Jared, eyeing him as if he could someone read his mind and learn what more there was to the story. Like, was Jared sick too? Was Jared in love with that boy who just died? Damn, why couldn't Jensen have picked up telepathic abilities with his visions?
It seemed like all this death was surrounding Jared. Katie's brother, his Dad in the near future, maybe it was some giant hint. Maybe Jared's entire life was just measured on some short fuse that was counting down like a bomb about to explode.
"I don't have it," Jared finally added when Jensen just continued to stare. "We weren't... it was a long time ago, when I dated him, before he got sick."
Or, maybe, Jensen should really stop thinking so much.
His lips twitched in a soft smile as he looked down at the ground then sighed, shaking his head. He tried to add up the numbers, determine when Jared could have been with Katie's brother and how much it might have affected the man. "Were you two... were you serious?"
"We were five. So, you know. Completely serious until he stepped on my Spiderman." Jared slowly grinned but the action faded just as quickly. "We've known- we knew each other a long time."
All these stupid thoughts Jensen had been stumbling over disappeared, leaving him feeling like an ass all over again. Jared look crushed and Jensen was pretty sure he'd been trying his best not to think about the friend he'd lost. And he had no idea what was to come. Guilt - and maybe the desire to prove he wasn't a complete asshole - had him reaching out and squeezing Jared's arm reassuringly. "Jared... I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing someone like that."
"Only you can, can't you." Jared smiled once more and shrugged again, laying his hand over Jensen's and squeezing. "I've read your file Jen. I know just who you've lost."
Jensen knew Jared wasn't trying to be hurtful or cold but the words hit him like a knife in the heart. Sure, he'd lost his mom and that had been painful but then he spent years in a coma and all those feelings from before were muted. Even losing his Dad, it was nothing compared to what Jared was going to go through.
He sucked in a quick breath and pulled his hand away, turning from Jared and starting through the crowd again. "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."
"I'm sorry Jen I-"
Whatever else Jared had to say was drowned out as he reached out to grab Jensen - who instantly jerked back and snatched the nearest stable thing. Which happened to, of course, be a person walking past.
"Excuse me!" The woman jerked back and Jensen stumbled. He had a strange feeling of being in two places at once, like he was there and blurring.
Two sets of eyes for just a moment, two noses, twice the amount of freckles. It felt like the world was tilting and mixing in an odd kaleidoscope.
"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
"God, how rude," the woman snapped and turned, pushing away and through the crowd.
Jared's hands were sliding over the strange mixture of two of him as he struggled to keep from falling. A second later tires were screeching, a scream was echoing out, and Jensen fell back against Jared's chest just as the crowd parted.
The woman was sprawled out on the sidewalk, body disfigured, blood pooling around her. "Oh my god," Jared gasped out from behind him and the two parts of Jensen shuddered and formed into one.
"Excuse me!"
Jensen stumbled hard a few steps back, sucking in a surprised breath. He felt like he was reeling from one too many blows and like he'd stumbled on a very strange case of déjà vu.
"Oh god," he whispered, staring at the woman in shock. When he blinked he saw her lying lifeless on the ground in a pool of blood, when he blinked again she was glaring at him and Jared was gripping his arms tightly.
"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
"God, how rude."
The woman turned to push through the crowd and Jensen sucked in a quick breath. "Jared. Jared! Stop her!"
"What? Jen, are you-" Jared turned Jensen, frowning down at him.
Jensen didn't have times for questions, not when any second this woman would be literally walking into her death. He shoved hard at Jared, not caring about the way he stumbled back as long as he got Jared closer to the street. "Go! Stop her! Now!"
Jared blinked at him for just a moment then, for whatever the reason chose to trust Jensen and spun around. He hurried across the sidewalk and even as Jensen stumbled back to fall against the wall he was able to see as Jared reached the woman. Tires screeched and people turned to look as Jared pulled the woman back in time to just barely miss the car speeding past.
The bustle of the crowd picked up again and Jensen slumped back in relief against the wall, closing his eyes and blowing out a shaky breath. That was the closest call he'd ever had. In two weeks he hadn't had a single vision and in the last twenty four hours he'd had three that shook him to his core.
"How did you know that was going to happen?" Jared asked, his voice shaking just slightly as he stepped closer to Jensen.
Jensen forced his eyes open and fought against the swell of panic rising up in his chest. "I need to get out of here. I need to get home. Please. Please take me home."
"Okay. Okay Jensen, we'll get you home." Jared pulled him away from the wall, guiding him through the crowd. But Jensen couldn't handle the close, not then, not after everything he was struggling with.
Even as Jared attempted to tug him closer Jensen broke away, spinning until he could see the parking lot. He pushed through people, keeping his hands tucked close to keep from touching anyone else. He needed to get home, get somewhere safe, and then he needed Chad because his thoughts were absolutely reeling and he had to talk to someone.
The passenger door was thankfully unlocked and Jensen slipped quickly inside, folding himself up as much as possible. Jared joined him a few minutes later, turning the car on but keeping his gaze fixed on Jensen. The longer he continued to stare the hotter Jensen's cheeks grew and his heart literally felt like it was about to explode out his throat.
"What?" He finally snapped, giving Jared his best scowl. "What are you waiting for? Get us fucking out of here."
Jared's mouth fell open then snapped closed and he turned, staring out the windshield. He remained silent for the entire drive home but Jensen was too busy trying not to see Katie's crushed face at the loss of her brother, Jared's agony at the loss of his dad, and that women surrounded by blood to really give it much thought.
-===-
As the doorbell echoed through the house Jensen blew out a relieved breath and took off, limping as quickly as he could down the hall to the stairs. Jared was already opening the door and before either man could say anything he was calling out, "Chad. Thank fucking god. Took you long enough."
Chad stared at Jared for a beat then turned, watching as Jensen headed down the stairs at a much slower rate. "Well I'm so sorry my Queen. Some of us actually have to work for a living."
"And what would you know of work?" Jared asked with a faint laugh.
Jensen glanced his way and felt that already familiar heart clenching guilt and pain on the man's behalf. Jared hadn't really spoken to him in the few hours they'd been home but then, Jensen had been hiding. Every time he tried to begin analyzing the steady repeat of visions he felt like bursting into tears, his mind was kind of on overload at the moment. Just seeing the barely there hint of a smile on his lips made him feel the stab of pain in his chest.
"Listen, Jared..." Jensen sighed and looked away, coming to stop at the base of the stairs. "I need to talk to Chad in, um, in private. Do you think you could go do... something else, for a while?"
This time the smile fell completely from his lips and Jensen felt that pang of guilt with a brand new sharpness. It seemed like being an asshole was just his default mode now. "Yes, Sir. I'll just go clean the upstairs like a good man servant."
Jensen flinched, apology on the tip of his tongue but Jared was already heading up the stairs and it seemed like all the words he knew had vanished. "Damnit."
"You're a genuine piece of work douche bag," Chad grunted and slung his bag to the side, making his way to Jensen's kitchen as if he'd been there far more often than the one time he had actually come over.
It wasn't that big of a surprise and Jensen simply followed, rolling his lips together to keep from exploding into details about the onslaught of visions he had. As it was he felt like he someone had set the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Chad, no matter how infuriating he could be, knew him well enough by now to spot the look on his face. He set the milk carton - that he'd been drinking straight from - down on the counter and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth. "What's happened? What did you see?"
"What the fuck haven't I seen?" Jensen snapped, tapping his cane over and over onto the ground as he let the words tumble up. "First Jared's offering a massage and I nearly lose it then I take off and Katie's suddenly there and I see her sobbing because her brother's died and I can't-"
"Jenny, hey, you're gonna have to breathe and slow it down a few notches if you want my help." Chad placed a hand on Jensen's, squeezing and pressing down to keep the cane tapping from starting all over again. "Now, try it again. Katie's brother died? Man, that's horrible, how'd Jared take it?"
Jensen blinked up at his friend, considering being annoyed because Chad had obviously known about Katie's brother and Jared but failed to mention anything. But well, Jensen supposed Jared could have easily not mentioned a relationship he'd had when he was five and now was really not the time or the place.
"You saw something big didn't you?" Chad asked quietly when Jensen continued to zone out. "Something more than Katie being upset? Was it with Jared?"
"I. Well. I. Yeah. Yes. It was, one of them. There were two, after the one with Katie." Jensen leaned hard against the counter and ducked his head down, trying to separate the visions out in his mind. "There was one, out in the city center, which was really fucking weird because it was like there were two me's and it happened literally seconds after the vision. The woman almost got hit by a car, in my vision she did but after my vision I got Jared to save her which is really awesome of course and-"
"Jensen, newsflash, I am not gay nor interested in you therefore this adorable little rambling thing you've got going on? I just find it annoying. Can you get to the point?" Chad huffed, picking through the fridge for something to eat.
Why Jensen had thought Chad might actually help him without giving him shit about everything first, he didn't know. Chances were, Chad was completely getting off on giving Jensen a hard time and he was going to get a sick thrill out of dropping the bomb on him. "I saw Jared's Dad die."
The pack of ham Chad was holding fell from his hands and Jensen slowly looked up, watching the man turn to face him, his eyes wide. "What?"
"Well, I didn't see him die, I saw Jared receive the news that he had." Jensen exhaled shakily and bit down on his lip, not really getting any more of that thrill from making Chad take him seriously. The man looked as crushed as Jared had been in his vision. "Chad? What do I do?"
"Can it be stopped?" Chad asked in a whisper, slowly closing the fridge and stepping toward Jensen. "Can you keep it from happening?"
Jensen was a little shocked by the tears shining in Chad's eyes. He really hadn't expected that from the blond who was crass and rude more often than not. Swallowing thickly, Jensen slowly shook his head. "It was a heart attack. It was sudden and, and I don't think there's anything that could possibly be done to stop it."
"When? When will it happen?" Chad dropped hard down onto the stool under the counter, fingers rubbing over his eyes.
"Chad? Are you okay?" Jensen stepped closer, completely thrown by the heavy sadness weighing on Chad.
"I- damnit. These visions, you should be able to fix them, to stop it, and when you can't, like with Sandy... it wasn't a death. It was sad and horrible but she's better now without that douche. This is- Gerry, Mr. Padalecki, he's a great man. When school would get to be too much they always let me stay there, he'd sit up and talk with me, his time shouldn't be cut off like this." Chad sighed shakily, wiping the tears from his eyes and turning his gaze finally to Jensen. "Poor Jared. This is gonna hurt."
"I know. And god, I barely know him, but in my vision we were..." Jensen trailed off, not wanting to give Chad all the details. Judging from the way Chad's brows rose, Jensen didn't need to. "Let's just say, we definitely knew a lot more about each other. But I don't know how we'll get there, when I tell him it'll be a miracle if he doesn't hate me forever."
"What? Tell him?" Chad sat up suddenly, hand slapping hard down on the counter. "You can't fucking tell him. You can't even hint that you might know something. So get that fucking insane thought out of your mind."
Jensen straightened up and took a step back, surprised by the sudden force of Chad's words. "What do you mean I can't tell him? Why wouldn't I? He deserves to know what's coming."
"Why? So he can sit around every day waiting for his mom to call him and tell him his dad is dead? Because I know Jared and he will do every fucking thing in his power to fix his dad and that won't ever work will it? Assuming that he believes you in the first place and doesn't lock you up in a fucking nut house. I mean, shit Jen, do you even realize how crazy you'll sound?"
It wasn't like Jensen didn't know just how insane the visions made him sound but he had been counting on Chad helping him figure out the best way to tell Jared. He'd never once considered it a secret he would have to keep. "That's- I can't do that. I can't not tell him. He lives in my house. He's my- we're..."
"You're what? You're nothing Jensen. I mean, besides your obvious fucking crush on him it's not like you guys are really anything." Chad crossed to him even as Jensen scoffed and slid back like he was offended - which he probably had no right to be. "Look, I'm not saying this to be an ass but I need you to take a step back and really think about this."
Jensen frowned and slid his arms over his chest, peering down at the ground as he tried to understand just what Chad was trying to tell him. "I am thinking about it. What if Jared finds out I knew? He'd hate me."
"This isn't something he can ever find out. Jen, think about it, why do you get these visions?" Chad reached out to grab his arm, squeezing until Jensen looked up at him with arched brows. "You get them so you can help, stop something, be there for someone. There's nothing about this situation you can fix but you can be there for Jared. When he's told... when his mom calls, you need to be there to pick up the pieces. You saw what you saw because you needed something to help you get your head out of your ass and learn to be with Jared, so you can help him."
"That's- no. That's too much. I can't just... how am I supposed to help him when I know? What happens if he falls for me or if I fall for him, and then the truth comes out? How the hell will I handle that?" Jensen groaned and stepped out of Chad's touch. "And it's not just keeping this vision secret from him. It's keeping all the visions secret. How do I have a relationship with that between us?"
"Look, I can't stop you from telling Jared but I beg of you to think it through. Let Jared enjoy the time he has left with his dad without waiting for the inevitable end. It's the way life goes Jensen, there are just some things you can't control." Chad's fingers slid back through his hair and Jensen stared long enough to realize just how serious the man was.
And, the real kicker was, Chad was absolutely right. If Jensen told Jared what was going to come, it couldn't possibly go well. And if Jensen somehow ruined the last of Jared's time with his father just because he couldn't keep a secret? God, Jensen would be beyond an asshole. "Damnit. What is the point of these fucking visions if I can't magically fix everything?"
"Visions?"
Jensen jerked back from Chad and spun quickly, staring wide eyed over at Jared standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Of all the times for Jared to walk in, this wasn't the absolute worst but it was pretty high up there. He blinked a few times and looked from Jared to Chad and back again. "Um... what?"
"Did you just say you get visions?" Jared stepped further into the kitchen, frown deepening on his lips.
Panic shot up through Jensen and he quickly shook his head, mind reeling with all the possible excuses and explanations he could use. "No I- it was just-"
"Don't worry about it Jay, man, we were just talking some things out." Chad interrupted Jensen's fumbling smoothly, crossing around the counter and stooping down to snatch up the dropped ham.
"Talking things out? About these visions you apparently don't have?" Jared went from looking confused to looking skeptical, lips pursed together, eyes narrowing.
"There are no visions." Jensen snapped, glaring at Jared. He didn't want to automatically fall back into the asshole routine - especially when they'd just discussed how he needed to be there for Jared - but he needed the man to back off.
"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard-"
"Look, you don't even fucking know me, so don't start acting like you're entitled to any information about me." Jensen brushed hard past Jared, leaning heavily on his cane as he headed up the stairs.
Fleeing the room when things got tough was really turning into an Olympic sport for Jensen. But he was right, Jared didn't know him, and this was his secret to keep. It was safer behind his bedroom door.
Part Three
Masterpost
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him - mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.
"I just can't do this. It's sunny and he'll be glistening and in water and I keep trying not to think about him like that but how can I possibly just ignore what's right in front of my eyes every god damn minute? He's always bending over getting the laundry or doing the dishes and his ass is just-"
"Jesus mother fucking Christ when did I become your gay hotline?" Chad practically screamed to smother Jensen's words. "I cannot handle any further ass talk. My ears have just been violated. My soul is dirty, my poor innocence."
Chad's outburst was too high pitched and over exaggerated but it had the desired effect. A smile twitched at Jensen's lips and he turned away from the mirror where he'd been examining the complete lack of a six pack. Somehow Jensen was still managing to maintain his friendship with Chad - though he'd completely failed when attempting to create the same connection with Jared. It helped that Jensen saw Chad like a playful puppy you couldn't help throw a tennis ball for while Jared was more... the star of every naughty fantasy Jensen was resolutely pretending not to have.
"Would you just sympathize with me? I mean, honestly, he wants to go swimming." Jensen groaned and crossed the room in wide limping steps, snatching his cane thankfully from where it was leaning against the desk.
He'd been home less than a week and already his muscles seemed to be at a maximum. Jared kept insisting Jensen relax more - and not go up and down the stairs more than really necessary - but Jensen hated feeling so weak. That was probably why the pool thing had come up, Jared thought it would be a brilliant work out. Jensen was pretty sure he was going to black out.
"So you want me to sympathize with you because you get to hop in a swimming pool with the object of your pervy, lust filled fantasies? Oh yes, my heart goes out to you," Chad said flatly and Jensen could just imagine his eye roll.
There was a knock at the door that interrupted Jensen mid-snort. Since the wood creaked open with the force of Jared's fist the man was able to hear the ridiculous noise even as Jensen spun and choked on it. Because, there Jared was in all his swim trunk glory, all bronzed and rippling and Chad was really fucking right about the pervy lust filled fantasies.
"Jen?" Chad's voice echoed through the line. "Please tell me you're not having some literal vision about Jared now."
"It doesn't work that way," Jensen mumbled though he couldn't take his eyes off Jared. "I gotta go."
"Have fun in the pool sweetie, play nice with the big bo-"
Jensen hung up before Chad could say any more - just in case Jared could hear the man and his tendency to talk way too fucking loud. Jared just kept staring at him with a warm smile, leaning against the doorframe like he had no care in the world that he was near naked. But hell, if Jensen looked like Jared did, he strut around naked all the time without a care in the world.
"Chad's an asshole," Jensen muttered though it had been at least a minute since he hung up. A long, drawn out moment in which he'd just been staring open mouthed at Jared like some sort of socially stunted idiot. Awesome.
Six years in a coma apparently reset all his well learned social skills.
Jared just laughed and turned, heading out of the room. "Could have told you that," he called over his shoulder. "Come on, let's go get wet."
Jensen tried not to shiver at the mental images sparked up by Jared's words but he was kind of doomed. He followed - naughty fantasies be damned - much slower and prayed he did nothing in the pool to seriously embarrass himself. More than he already had at least.
By the time he made it outside Jared was already in the pool and swimming laps. Jensen took a moment to stare and appreciate the bunch give pull of Jared's muscles each time he breached the surface and dipped back down. When Jared stood at the edge of the pool, water trailing down miles of golden skin, Jensen felt his cock fattening in a way it hadn't in a ridiculously long time.
The doctors had warned him it could take a few more months for his sexual drive to return. The doctors, apparently, had never met Jared Padalecki.
"Ready? I promise we'll take it easy, see how you feel and go from there okay?" Jared's smile was soft and easy and Jensen really had to envy how easy this all was for him.
He never got twitchy or stuttery around Jensen. He never stopped and stared with lust in his eyes and a rapidly hardening cock - not that Jensen noticed at least, which was assuming he was gay to begin with. Which, knowing Jensen's luck, was not the case. And who would want someone with Jensen's amount of baggage anyway?
Oh hey, date me, even though I've been in a coma for the last six years and can see the future when I touch someone. No big.
"Jen? You're going to have to trust me at some point," Jared murmured, soft and understanding like he could read Jensen's thoughts.
He couldn't, thank god, otherwise Jensen was fairly sure he'd be not the least bit understanding and probably a little pissed. Jensen forced a small smile on his face and stepped forward, leaning his cane against the deck chair. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's just... I'm like a cat, right? I hate water. Water hates me."
"Meow." Jared grinned and climbed out of the water.
Before Jensen could even roll his eyes the man was right there scooping Jensen easily up in his arms and carrying him down the steps into the water. Jensen flailed and remembered seconds before it was too late that he couldn't let his hands touch Jared's bare skin. Now would be the worst of all times to have any sort of vision about Jared. Jensen was far too focused on the what the fucking fuck.
"I am capable of walking you know," Jensen muttered though it sounded rather pitiful even to his own ears.
Of course and naturally, Jared just laughed and set him in the shallow end, stepping back and out of Jensen's personal bubble. Which was probably a good thing since Jensen was just about to stroke the man's biceps to see if they really were rippling. God. Fuck Jensen's life.
If he managed to survive any of this it was going to be a miracle.
-===-
Jensen hovered just outside the kitchen, watching as Jared swiveled his hips and sang - rather poorly - along with the radio. The man's tendency to wear an absurd lack of clothing was getting kind of too much - like mowing the lawns without a shirt and cleaning the bathrooms barefoot with tan khaki shorts. Who the fuck wore tan khaki shorts anyway?
Not even to mention the whole swimming pool fiasco that replayed in Jensen's memories like mentally downloaded softcore porn.
So there was now, in which Jared was cooking breakfast while wearing only boxers. And yes, this was the place Jared basically lived now - Jensen had offered him a day or two off a week but so far the man hadn't taken more than an evening one night. That was no reason or excuse to dress like a fucking prostitute.
Maybe that was a little on the extreme side. But seriously.
"If you get grease on your man bits I reserve the right to laugh at you," Jensen mumbled, forcing himself to step into the room because just standing out there staring was ridiculous.
Jared shot him one of those lethal dimple laced grins then turned back to the frying pan on the stove, flipping the omelette easily. "You just said man bits. I can laugh at you forever now."
Jensen rolled his eyes and tried not to limp too obviously as he headed across the kitchen to the bar stool. After the first few days of being back in his old family home Jared had not so subtly suggested the stairs were too much for Jensen but that only implied Jensen was somehow weak and he was not having that. So he'd kept his mouth shut, even as his muscles began to protest and he reached the point that making more than two trips up the stairs was about his limit.
Even then he spent a good part of the night in agony.
"You know, you're supposed to tell me when the pain is intolerable." Jared sighed and turned to set a plate and the omelette in front of Jensen's stool before he'd even had the chance to sit.
Rolling his lips together, Jensen pushed up onto the stool, unable to hide a wince as his muscles ached. "It's not. Not intolerable anyway. I just... I have to move a lot more here than I did in the clinic. I'm still getting used to things."
"Well it really doesn't have to be painful. At least not that painful. I'm here to help you." Before Jensen could really decide what that meant Jared was crossing the counter, laying his hands over Jensen's shoulders and massaging slowly. "I can help you."
Jensen instantly tensed, forcing himself to slowly relax as Jared's hands slid down the curve of his shoulders. It really hadn't taken Jensen long to learn that he only had the visions when his bare hands touched someone else's bare skin but he still expected it after every touch - though the work out sessions in the pool really should have been reassuring. It was kind of horrible to know how limited his ability to touch was; Except when Chad touched him because - for whatever the reason - Jensen only got one vision per person apparently.
Not that Chad wanted to touch him much, or that Jensen wanted Chad to either.
"What are you thinking about?" Jared asked quietly, massaging his thumbs in slow circles at the base of Jensen's neck.
"Chad," Jensen answered automatically, wincing as Jared squeezed just a little too tight. "Uh, that sounds a lot weirder than I meant."
Jared chuckled though Jensen thought it might sound weird - not that he spent a lot of time analyzing Jared's laughs or anything. "Right. Well, you want me to rub out some of the kinks here?"
"What now?" Jensen huffed, arm swinging out as he struggled to turn and knocked his glass of orange juice across the counter.
It fell to the floor and shattered and Jensen took the opportunity of Jared's distraction to flee the room. Fuck breakfast and his aching - protesting - muscles and Jared's far too enticing offer. Jared was a nice guy, he helped around the house and forced him through ridiculous work outs, and Jensen just kept making an idiot out of himself. His life was just too complicated for this shit.
Jensen planned on heading outside, getting some fresh air, but he was thrown headlong into an unexpected vision as he tugged the door open and stepped right into a thin blond standing in the doorway, his hand curling over her arm to keep from falling.
"It-it was just so sudden. We didn't... oh god. How am I supposed to be okay without him? He means- meant, so much t-to me."
"Shh. It's okay Katie, I know it's..." Jared trailed off with a sad sigh, wrapping his arms tight around the blond and holding her close. "He was so strong, he held on as long as he could."
"But he's my best friend," Katie choked on another sob, clinging to Jared until he was supporting all of her weight. "My brother- he was- he's everything."
"I know Katie, I know. It's going to be okay, he'd want you to- he wouldn't want-" Jared choked on his words, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Jen? You okay?" Jared was there now and gasping Jensen's arm, pulling him back and away from Katie. "Katie? What's- are you hurt?"
Katie simply shook her head and Jensen's heart ached for the girl he didn't even know - who could very well be Jared's girlfriend really. Jensen swallowed thickly and stepped back, trying to stop tears from forming in his eyes. He hadn't felt a vision so utterly heart wrenching before, at least not since the moment in the rec room with Sandy.
"What's going on?" Jared asked quietly, looking between them both with confusion.
"It's..." Katie choked on a sob and shook her head, folding her arms protectively over her chest.
"Her brother," Jensen answered before he could think better of it.
The surprise on Katie's face was clear even through her agony and she dropped her arms, staring wide eyed at Jensen. "How did you know that?"
Thankfully, Jensen didn't have to come up with some answer he didn't have. Because Katie's brother must have been sick for a while and Jared knew it. The man sucked in a quick breath and stepped forward, drawing Katie close in a tight hug. "Did it happen? Oh Katie, I'm so sorry."
Jensen left before attention could be brought to him once more. He glanced back long enough to watch Jared leading Katie off. He needed to find a way to shake the way it felt like his entire world had just been lost. This vision had clearly affected him more than any other.
-===-
For the first time since Jared had moved in two weeks before, Jensen ate dinner alone - food that he'd made himself no less. In fact, he didn't see Jared again until the following morning, while he was still reeling with a wave of shock after watching Katie walk almost blindly through the kitchen in one of Jared's too big shirts. She'd poured herself a mug of coffee, left it black, and turned to exit the room without so much as a glance at him.
Never mind it being Jensen's house and all.
Minutes later, while Jensen was struggling to calm the irrational pinch of jealousy in his chest, Jared turned up and well, Jensen honestly didn't mean to snap. It just kind of happened. "I didn't realize you'd been given permission for your girlfriend to stay over at my house."
Jared's steps faltered and he slowly turned to Jensen, considering him with an arched brow and a twitch at the side of his mouth that suggested he was trying not to smirk. "And where did you get the idea that she's my girlfriend?"
Understandably, Jensen wished he could take back the words. Or replay this entire morning so he could make a quick escape out of the kitchen the moment Katie disappeared. Instead he ducked his face to hide the flame of color to his cheeks and sighed. "Sorry, that's none of my business. I um- I don't care if your girlfriend stays over. It's- yeah, whatever. This is your home too."
"I'm not his girlfriend," Katie said quietly from the kitchen doorway, looking a lot more awake than she had before. She was dressed now in the clothes from yesterday and her eyes were red and puffy, reminding Jensen just how heart wrenching his vision of her yesterday had been. "Everyone knows Jared is-"
"Better off single," Jared swiftly interrupted, shooting Katie a look that Jensen couldn't decipher. "And sorry, Jensen, you had every right to be mad. It is your home and I should check with you before having someone stay over."
Jensen swallowed down his internal voice that was not too quietly screaming jack ass and gave Katie a small smile. "I understand. Katie, I'm really sorry about your brother I... you two must have been close."
Katie shifted away from the doorframe and cleared her throat, carrying her cup to the sink and rinsing it out. "We were. How did you know about that anyway? It being my brother and all?"
"Oh I um..." Jensen glanced from Katie to Jared, his heart quickening in his ears. The first vision Jensen had had in two weeks and he was facing having to explain it two people, one of which he still had to live with. Even when they were both likely to consider him insane. "I just... I... I think I need some fresh air. Just a walk, I'll be back."
Before either of them could question him Jensen stood and limped as quickly as he could from the kitchen, his cane clicking loudly on the hardwood floor. He knew as long as Katie was around there would be nothing but questions and even then Jared would probably press for more - knowing Jensen's luck the man would likely accuse him of being a stalker or something else ridiculous.
And what was Jared's deal anyway?
Who was really better off single? Sure Jensen was going through a bit of a romantic slump but he had a damn good reason - six year coma, former love of your life moving on, all that jazz - and as far as Jensen knew, Jared had none of those reasons.
Jensen stopped with his hand on the front door knob, a thought hitting him hard enough it nearly hurt. He had no idea if Jared had any reason for being better off without someone because he didn't know Jared at all. Two weeks he'd been living with this man and he was more likely to go out of his way not to interact because of his pathetic fears rather than even trying to create some sort of friendship.
God damn, Jensen really was a jack ass.
"Jensen? Are you okay?" Jared - unsurprisingly - was there a beat later, touching Jensen's shoulder in a way he never seemed able to help. Some sort of comforting caress to ground both people to the moment.
If only it didn't make Jensen's heart pick up speed and his palms begin to sweat. He swallowed thickly and released the door knob, turning to face Jared and smiling uncertainly. "Do you want to go do something today?"
Surprise - or what Jensen assumed was surprise considering how little he knew about Jared - crossed Jared's features before he smiled. "Yeah? Like what?"
"Um... well I haven't been to the city center in... a really long ass time. We could go there, they have some neat shops." Jensen shrugged and glanced toward the entryway where Katie was lingering. "I mean, unless you need the day off. It's okay, you can spend some time with Katie, help her out or whatever."
"She has to get home to her family." Jared's smile softened like he was reading more into Jensen's words than he should. It would just figure. "I'd love to go to the city center. And here I thought you were mastering your hermit skills."
Jensen flushed at that and ducked his head, small smile playing across his lips. "I've just been working up to the idea of crowds again. I um, I'm just going to go shower then."
He brushed past Jared to head for the stairs, ready to slip under too hot water and not think about that gorgeous dimple curved smile on Jared's face while he jacked off. Once upon a time Jensen was fairly sure things like smiles didn't turn him on.
"Oh hey Jen-" Jared turned and caught his hand and Jensen only had a moment to stare at Jared's lips as they continued to form words that were silent before his vision swam and faded.
Jensen's eyes widened as he found himself staring at... himself. In bed. With Jared. His bed, his bedroom, bodies bare.
The Jensen on the bed moaned softly and rolled away from the sunshine breaking through the blinds. "It is too early to be awake."
"Well maybe if someone hadn't kept me up until two in the morning," Jared snorted and slid closer, tucking arms around Jensen's and pulling him in close so their bare bodies pressed flushed together.
Shock was rippling through Jensen as he crossed over to the bed, staring down at the image of himself and Jared and trying to accept that what he was seeing was real. This didn't seem like a first time deal, they were comfortable together, like this, like they'd been doing this thing for a while.
"That was entirely your fault. I take no respons-" Jensen cut off as Jared's cell phone started playing the original cast version of 'Slipping Through My Fingers' from the musical Mamma Mia. Jensen's brows arched and Jared huffed a laugh as he rolled over to the nightstand.
"Yeah I know, so gay of me, you really need better lines." Jared grinned over at Jensen then answered, lifting the device to his ear. "Hey Mom! How's-"
"Jared-" A woman's voice gasped on the line and, though it seemed the version of him on the bed couldn't hear, Jensen was able to hear her choked sobs clearly. "Your father- it's- oh Jared."
"Mom? What is it? What's wrong?" Jared pushed up off the bed, digging hands roughly up through his hair. "What happened to Dad?"
"He's gone, baby. He had a- he had a heart attack and I- there's nothing I could- it all happened so- so fast."
"Gone?" There were tears streaming down his cheeks and the version of him on the bed instantly moved forward, eyes full of worry. "Mom... Dad is... is he dead?"
"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so, so sorry."
Jensen's knees gave out as he was the room faded and shifted, overwhelmed by the grief and agony lingering from the vision. He'd never felt such an all-consuming swell of heart wrenching pain, not even when he'd learned of the loss of his own father.
"Jensen! Jen!" Jared's arm was firm around Jensen's waist, holding him up, his eyes full of concern. "Hey, you with me?"
"Oh my god." Jensen stared for a long moment as he tried to pull himself the rest of the way from the vision. There was warmth and concern and none of that agony in Jared's face now and it was nearly too much. How could he handle knowing what horrible thing was in Jared's future and not say anything? Jensen pushed away, stumbling back and grasping through thin air like his cane might magically appear. But he'd dropped it during the vision and Jensen's hands windmilled as he began to fall.
Once again Jared was right there, tugging Jensen flush against his body, the worry doubled on his features. "What's going on?"
Just to the side of Jared, Jensen could see Katie looking just as concerned and panic began to rise in his chest. There was nothing about this vision he could handle - not knowing about Jared losing his father, in such a horrible and shocking way. Or knowing that somehow, not too far down the line, they would be cuddled up like lovers in bed sharing inside jokes and late night whatevers.
"I'm... I'm so sorry," Jensen whispered and pulled free from the arm across his waist, fumbling down to pull up his cane and quickly hurry forward. His leg was aching, his heart felt like someone was squeezing it tightly between a clenched fist and tears were beginning to prick along his eyes.
"Jensen?" Jared whispered and Jensen knew he was reaching out to touch but he fell short, Jensen felt just the whisper of a fabric rustle as the fingers fell passed.
"I need... I need Chad. Please. Please call him." Not waiting for an answer, Jensen pushed forward and climbed up the stairs, trying to keep from shaking.
Once the door was closed behind him, Jensen crossed to his bed and dropped down on the mattress, trying to forget the image of Jared laying there with him. Because the last thing he needed was to get turned on while struggling with how to tell Jared his entire life was about to fall apart.
-===-
The soft tap on wood pulled Jensen from his thoughts - which featured a constant stream of his vision playing over and over like a horrible silent film on repeat. The look of adoration on Jensen's face as Jared pressed closer, the way their skin brushed and burned together, the easy warm and familiar smile on Jared's lips. Then, the look of shock as he answered the phone, the barely there moment of disbelief followed quickly by the world shattering agony. Like someone had just taken everything Jared held dear and tore it away.
Jensen didn't know about Jared's relationship with his father - just like he didn't really know anything about Jared - but it was clear they had to be pretty close.
"Hey, Jen? You in there?" Jared's voice called through his door followed by a barely audible sigh. "Is everything okay?"
"Is Chad here?" Jensen asked instead of answering any of the questions. He still wasn't even sure if he could talk to Jared yet, now without blurting out the whole truth of the vision. Then Jared would think he was insane and probably try to get him admitted somewhere, or he'd just leave and Jensen would never see him again.
Maybe Jensen wasn't ready to accept the idea of them getting involved - because knowing parts of his own future was weirdly disconcerting - but he wasn't ready for Jared to just be gone either.
"Will you let me in? So we can talk?" Jared didn't sound annoyed - like Jensen was sure Chad would - just patient and caring like always.
The man was too good to deserve the upcoming blow. "It's open," Jensen finally murmured, ducking his head down because he thought it might be easier not to see Jared's face.
"Chad has to work until four but he promised to come over after that. You still feel like going out? We could take a walk, kill some time until he can come over." Jared spoke quietly once he'd opened the door, leaning against the frame easily.
A good deal of Jensen didn't want to go out with Jared and not just because of his fear of crowds - how would he resist telling? But another part, just as equally pressing, kept picturing how wrecked Jared looked when he learned the news and Jensen felt like he had to comfort the man. Even if it hadn't happened yet.
"What about Katie?" He asked as he slowly stood, reaching out for the cane leaning on the nightstand.
"She went home. She needs to be with her family now." Jared turned away for a moment and Jensen was compelled by the sudden urge to rush forward and tug him in for a hug. It wasn't like he had an excuse not to touch now, he used up his one vision quota. "She said bye though. And mentioned that you were a bit of a spaz. Which... she wasn't wrong."
Jensen managed a faint laugh as he moved to slip into his shoes. Guilt and sadness were eating away at him but Jensen forced the thoughts away. For now, he would take the time to give Jared a chance. And maybe, once he'd spoken with Chad, he would know how to fix this vision just like he had done before.
-===-
The crowd was constant and big, swarming down the sidewalk and across the streets, weaving around the center, and Jensen was frozen for a long minute just outside the passenger door. Why he thought this would be a good idea was beyond him. Except it seemed to be making Jared happy and that helped in erasing that pained look that kept flashing across Jensen's vision whenever his eyes closed.
"I promise not to leave your side," Jared said softly from his side, grinning when Jensen tilted his head up for their gazes to meet. "Think of me as your personal body guard."
Great. Now Jared could be Jensen's personal body guard and save him from all the nasty crowds and in return Jensen would deliver Jared the news that his dad was going to die of a heart attack. Jensen was a horrible human being. God, if he could learn to shut up his internal monologue that would be fan-fucking-tastic. Also, it would probably keep Jared from getting that soft, fond little smile he always seemed to wear whenever Jensen got a little carried away with his thoughts. Like now.
"Stop smiling at me like that, it's creeping me out," Jensen huffed and curled his fingers tight around the top of his cane, pushing his way through the crowd though he wasn't entirely sure he was ready yet.
The city center hadn't changed much from Jensen's memories, a few of the shops looked different but then he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually just browsed through the area. A shoulder brushed against his and Jensen glanced over at Jared who was glancing around the crowd with pursed lips.
For just a moment Jensen wondered if he'd offended the man but Jared never seemed put out by anything Jensen said - no matter how rude - and why would it matter to him anyway? It wasn't like Jensen had taken any time to really get to know the man he'd been living with for the last two weeks.
How the hell did they get to being together like he'd seen if Jared was apparently better off single? Was it possible that Jensen's vision had just been some horrible mistake? For all Jensen knew, Jared didn't even like guys. It wasn't like he'd shown any particular interest in Jensen.
They might as well be strangers - though Jensen had seen a good deal of Jared's bare skin - and he didn't know how to change that.
"Why aren't you dating Katie?" Jensen blurted out the question, figuring it was as good a place to start as any. And it definitely wasn't at all suggestive about his vision.
Jared glanced his way, bemused, before shrugging and clearing his throat. "Would be awkward I guess."
"Why awkward? You seemed plenty close." Jensen knew that most people - normal people - had social skills that involved normal conversations - like getting to know someone and working your way up to challenging questions. Apparently - and obviously - Jensen was not normal.
"Well..." Jared blew out a shaky breath and carded fingers through that damn gorgeous hair before finishing, "I dated her brother. So. Awkward."
Okay, well, Jensen honestly should have seen that one coming. He was a craptastic psychic. So maybe he'd known Jared was into guys but relationships... they'd covered Jared's complete lack of them. Maybe Katie's brother was the reason why.
"The one who died?" Again, with the tact, Jensen was impressing himself with his lack of it.
Jared stopped walking and turned to face him, smile fading slightly as he nodded. "The one who died. He's been sick for a long time. He had AIDS."
The way Jensen's heart skipped a beat and threatened to implode actually hurt. He turned slowly to face Jared, eyeing him as if he could someone read his mind and learn what more there was to the story. Like, was Jared sick too? Was Jared in love with that boy who just died? Damn, why couldn't Jensen have picked up telepathic abilities with his visions?
It seemed like all this death was surrounding Jared. Katie's brother, his Dad in the near future, maybe it was some giant hint. Maybe Jared's entire life was just measured on some short fuse that was counting down like a bomb about to explode.
"I don't have it," Jared finally added when Jensen just continued to stare. "We weren't... it was a long time ago, when I dated him, before he got sick."
Or, maybe, Jensen should really stop thinking so much.
His lips twitched in a soft smile as he looked down at the ground then sighed, shaking his head. He tried to add up the numbers, determine when Jared could have been with Katie's brother and how much it might have affected the man. "Were you two... were you serious?"
"We were five. So, you know. Completely serious until he stepped on my Spiderman." Jared slowly grinned but the action faded just as quickly. "We've known- we knew each other a long time."
All these stupid thoughts Jensen had been stumbling over disappeared, leaving him feeling like an ass all over again. Jared look crushed and Jensen was pretty sure he'd been trying his best not to think about the friend he'd lost. And he had no idea what was to come. Guilt - and maybe the desire to prove he wasn't a complete asshole - had him reaching out and squeezing Jared's arm reassuringly. "Jared... I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing someone like that."
"Only you can, can't you." Jared smiled once more and shrugged again, laying his hand over Jensen's and squeezing. "I've read your file Jen. I know just who you've lost."
Jensen knew Jared wasn't trying to be hurtful or cold but the words hit him like a knife in the heart. Sure, he'd lost his mom and that had been painful but then he spent years in a coma and all those feelings from before were muted. Even losing his Dad, it was nothing compared to what Jared was going to go through.
He sucked in a quick breath and pulled his hand away, turning from Jared and starting through the crowd again. "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."
"I'm sorry Jen I-"
Whatever else Jared had to say was drowned out as he reached out to grab Jensen - who instantly jerked back and snatched the nearest stable thing. Which happened to, of course, be a person walking past.
"Excuse me!" The woman jerked back and Jensen stumbled. He had a strange feeling of being in two places at once, like he was there and blurring.
Two sets of eyes for just a moment, two noses, twice the amount of freckles. It felt like the world was tilting and mixing in an odd kaleidoscope.
"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
"God, how rude," the woman snapped and turned, pushing away and through the crowd.
Jared's hands were sliding over the strange mixture of two of him as he struggled to keep from falling. A second later tires were screeching, a scream was echoing out, and Jensen fell back against Jared's chest just as the crowd parted.
The woman was sprawled out on the sidewalk, body disfigured, blood pooling around her. "Oh my god," Jared gasped out from behind him and the two parts of Jensen shuddered and formed into one.
"Excuse me!"
Jensen stumbled hard a few steps back, sucking in a surprised breath. He felt like he was reeling from one too many blows and like he'd stumbled on a very strange case of déjà vu.
"Oh god," he whispered, staring at the woman in shock. When he blinked he saw her lying lifeless on the ground in a pool of blood, when he blinked again she was glaring at him and Jared was gripping his arms tightly.
"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
"God, how rude."
The woman turned to push through the crowd and Jensen sucked in a quick breath. "Jared. Jared! Stop her!"
"What? Jen, are you-" Jared turned Jensen, frowning down at him.
Jensen didn't have times for questions, not when any second this woman would be literally walking into her death. He shoved hard at Jared, not caring about the way he stumbled back as long as he got Jared closer to the street. "Go! Stop her! Now!"
Jared blinked at him for just a moment then, for whatever the reason chose to trust Jensen and spun around. He hurried across the sidewalk and even as Jensen stumbled back to fall against the wall he was able to see as Jared reached the woman. Tires screeched and people turned to look as Jared pulled the woman back in time to just barely miss the car speeding past.
The bustle of the crowd picked up again and Jensen slumped back in relief against the wall, closing his eyes and blowing out a shaky breath. That was the closest call he'd ever had. In two weeks he hadn't had a single vision and in the last twenty four hours he'd had three that shook him to his core.
"How did you know that was going to happen?" Jared asked, his voice shaking just slightly as he stepped closer to Jensen.
Jensen forced his eyes open and fought against the swell of panic rising up in his chest. "I need to get out of here. I need to get home. Please. Please take me home."
"Okay. Okay Jensen, we'll get you home." Jared pulled him away from the wall, guiding him through the crowd. But Jensen couldn't handle the close, not then, not after everything he was struggling with.
Even as Jared attempted to tug him closer Jensen broke away, spinning until he could see the parking lot. He pushed through people, keeping his hands tucked close to keep from touching anyone else. He needed to get home, get somewhere safe, and then he needed Chad because his thoughts were absolutely reeling and he had to talk to someone.
The passenger door was thankfully unlocked and Jensen slipped quickly inside, folding himself up as much as possible. Jared joined him a few minutes later, turning the car on but keeping his gaze fixed on Jensen. The longer he continued to stare the hotter Jensen's cheeks grew and his heart literally felt like it was about to explode out his throat.
"What?" He finally snapped, giving Jared his best scowl. "What are you waiting for? Get us fucking out of here."
Jared's mouth fell open then snapped closed and he turned, staring out the windshield. He remained silent for the entire drive home but Jensen was too busy trying not to see Katie's crushed face at the loss of her brother, Jared's agony at the loss of his dad, and that women surrounded by blood to really give it much thought.
-===-
As the doorbell echoed through the house Jensen blew out a relieved breath and took off, limping as quickly as he could down the hall to the stairs. Jared was already opening the door and before either man could say anything he was calling out, "Chad. Thank fucking god. Took you long enough."
Chad stared at Jared for a beat then turned, watching as Jensen headed down the stairs at a much slower rate. "Well I'm so sorry my Queen. Some of us actually have to work for a living."
"And what would you know of work?" Jared asked with a faint laugh.
Jensen glanced his way and felt that already familiar heart clenching guilt and pain on the man's behalf. Jared hadn't really spoken to him in the few hours they'd been home but then, Jensen had been hiding. Every time he tried to begin analyzing the steady repeat of visions he felt like bursting into tears, his mind was kind of on overload at the moment. Just seeing the barely there hint of a smile on his lips made him feel the stab of pain in his chest.
"Listen, Jared..." Jensen sighed and looked away, coming to stop at the base of the stairs. "I need to talk to Chad in, um, in private. Do you think you could go do... something else, for a while?"
This time the smile fell completely from his lips and Jensen felt that pang of guilt with a brand new sharpness. It seemed like being an asshole was just his default mode now. "Yes, Sir. I'll just go clean the upstairs like a good man servant."
Jensen flinched, apology on the tip of his tongue but Jared was already heading up the stairs and it seemed like all the words he knew had vanished. "Damnit."
"You're a genuine piece of work douche bag," Chad grunted and slung his bag to the side, making his way to Jensen's kitchen as if he'd been there far more often than the one time he had actually come over.
It wasn't that big of a surprise and Jensen simply followed, rolling his lips together to keep from exploding into details about the onslaught of visions he had. As it was he felt like he someone had set the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Chad, no matter how infuriating he could be, knew him well enough by now to spot the look on his face. He set the milk carton - that he'd been drinking straight from - down on the counter and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth. "What's happened? What did you see?"
"What the fuck haven't I seen?" Jensen snapped, tapping his cane over and over onto the ground as he let the words tumble up. "First Jared's offering a massage and I nearly lose it then I take off and Katie's suddenly there and I see her sobbing because her brother's died and I can't-"
"Jenny, hey, you're gonna have to breathe and slow it down a few notches if you want my help." Chad placed a hand on Jensen's, squeezing and pressing down to keep the cane tapping from starting all over again. "Now, try it again. Katie's brother died? Man, that's horrible, how'd Jared take it?"
Jensen blinked up at his friend, considering being annoyed because Chad had obviously known about Katie's brother and Jared but failed to mention anything. But well, Jensen supposed Jared could have easily not mentioned a relationship he'd had when he was five and now was really not the time or the place.
"You saw something big didn't you?" Chad asked quietly when Jensen continued to zone out. "Something more than Katie being upset? Was it with Jared?"
"I. Well. I. Yeah. Yes. It was, one of them. There were two, after the one with Katie." Jensen leaned hard against the counter and ducked his head down, trying to separate the visions out in his mind. "There was one, out in the city center, which was really fucking weird because it was like there were two me's and it happened literally seconds after the vision. The woman almost got hit by a car, in my vision she did but after my vision I got Jared to save her which is really awesome of course and-"
"Jensen, newsflash, I am not gay nor interested in you therefore this adorable little rambling thing you've got going on? I just find it annoying. Can you get to the point?" Chad huffed, picking through the fridge for something to eat.
Why Jensen had thought Chad might actually help him without giving him shit about everything first, he didn't know. Chances were, Chad was completely getting off on giving Jensen a hard time and he was going to get a sick thrill out of dropping the bomb on him. "I saw Jared's Dad die."
The pack of ham Chad was holding fell from his hands and Jensen slowly looked up, watching the man turn to face him, his eyes wide. "What?"
"Well, I didn't see him die, I saw Jared receive the news that he had." Jensen exhaled shakily and bit down on his lip, not really getting any more of that thrill from making Chad take him seriously. The man looked as crushed as Jared had been in his vision. "Chad? What do I do?"
"Can it be stopped?" Chad asked in a whisper, slowly closing the fridge and stepping toward Jensen. "Can you keep it from happening?"
Jensen was a little shocked by the tears shining in Chad's eyes. He really hadn't expected that from the blond who was crass and rude more often than not. Swallowing thickly, Jensen slowly shook his head. "It was a heart attack. It was sudden and, and I don't think there's anything that could possibly be done to stop it."
"When? When will it happen?" Chad dropped hard down onto the stool under the counter, fingers rubbing over his eyes.
"Chad? Are you okay?" Jensen stepped closer, completely thrown by the heavy sadness weighing on Chad.
"I- damnit. These visions, you should be able to fix them, to stop it, and when you can't, like with Sandy... it wasn't a death. It was sad and horrible but she's better now without that douche. This is- Gerry, Mr. Padalecki, he's a great man. When school would get to be too much they always let me stay there, he'd sit up and talk with me, his time shouldn't be cut off like this." Chad sighed shakily, wiping the tears from his eyes and turning his gaze finally to Jensen. "Poor Jared. This is gonna hurt."
"I know. And god, I barely know him, but in my vision we were..." Jensen trailed off, not wanting to give Chad all the details. Judging from the way Chad's brows rose, Jensen didn't need to. "Let's just say, we definitely knew a lot more about each other. But I don't know how we'll get there, when I tell him it'll be a miracle if he doesn't hate me forever."
"What? Tell him?" Chad sat up suddenly, hand slapping hard down on the counter. "You can't fucking tell him. You can't even hint that you might know something. So get that fucking insane thought out of your mind."
Jensen straightened up and took a step back, surprised by the sudden force of Chad's words. "What do you mean I can't tell him? Why wouldn't I? He deserves to know what's coming."
"Why? So he can sit around every day waiting for his mom to call him and tell him his dad is dead? Because I know Jared and he will do every fucking thing in his power to fix his dad and that won't ever work will it? Assuming that he believes you in the first place and doesn't lock you up in a fucking nut house. I mean, shit Jen, do you even realize how crazy you'll sound?"
It wasn't like Jensen didn't know just how insane the visions made him sound but he had been counting on Chad helping him figure out the best way to tell Jared. He'd never once considered it a secret he would have to keep. "That's- I can't do that. I can't not tell him. He lives in my house. He's my- we're..."
"You're what? You're nothing Jensen. I mean, besides your obvious fucking crush on him it's not like you guys are really anything." Chad crossed to him even as Jensen scoffed and slid back like he was offended - which he probably had no right to be. "Look, I'm not saying this to be an ass but I need you to take a step back and really think about this."
Jensen frowned and slid his arms over his chest, peering down at the ground as he tried to understand just what Chad was trying to tell him. "I am thinking about it. What if Jared finds out I knew? He'd hate me."
"This isn't something he can ever find out. Jen, think about it, why do you get these visions?" Chad reached out to grab his arm, squeezing until Jensen looked up at him with arched brows. "You get them so you can help, stop something, be there for someone. There's nothing about this situation you can fix but you can be there for Jared. When he's told... when his mom calls, you need to be there to pick up the pieces. You saw what you saw because you needed something to help you get your head out of your ass and learn to be with Jared, so you can help him."
"That's- no. That's too much. I can't just... how am I supposed to help him when I know? What happens if he falls for me or if I fall for him, and then the truth comes out? How the hell will I handle that?" Jensen groaned and stepped out of Chad's touch. "And it's not just keeping this vision secret from him. It's keeping all the visions secret. How do I have a relationship with that between us?"
"Look, I can't stop you from telling Jared but I beg of you to think it through. Let Jared enjoy the time he has left with his dad without waiting for the inevitable end. It's the way life goes Jensen, there are just some things you can't control." Chad's fingers slid back through his hair and Jensen stared long enough to realize just how serious the man was.
And, the real kicker was, Chad was absolutely right. If Jensen told Jared what was going to come, it couldn't possibly go well. And if Jensen somehow ruined the last of Jared's time with his father just because he couldn't keep a secret? God, Jensen would be beyond an asshole. "Damnit. What is the point of these fucking visions if I can't magically fix everything?"
"Visions?"
Jensen jerked back from Chad and spun quickly, staring wide eyed over at Jared standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Of all the times for Jared to walk in, this wasn't the absolute worst but it was pretty high up there. He blinked a few times and looked from Jared to Chad and back again. "Um... what?"
"Did you just say you get visions?" Jared stepped further into the kitchen, frown deepening on his lips.
Panic shot up through Jensen and he quickly shook his head, mind reeling with all the possible excuses and explanations he could use. "No I- it was just-"
"Don't worry about it Jay, man, we were just talking some things out." Chad interrupted Jensen's fumbling smoothly, crossing around the counter and stooping down to snatch up the dropped ham.
"Talking things out? About these visions you apparently don't have?" Jared went from looking confused to looking skeptical, lips pursed together, eyes narrowing.
"There are no visions." Jensen snapped, glaring at Jared. He didn't want to automatically fall back into the asshole routine - especially when they'd just discussed how he needed to be there for Jared - but he needed the man to back off.
"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard-"
"Look, you don't even fucking know me, so don't start acting like you're entitled to any information about me." Jensen brushed hard past Jared, leaning heavily on his cane as he headed up the stairs.
Fleeing the room when things got tough was really turning into an Olympic sport for Jensen. But he was right, Jared didn't know him, and this was his secret to keep. It was safer behind his bedroom door.
Part Three
Masterpost