A reflection on recent events
Sometimes it is nice to have all the time you need to sort through things, even if all of this time isnt by choise, but because of things that happen that put a damper on life.
As you all know, I was fired from Wells Fargo. I am currently in search of employment and I am not too stressed at the moment. I have the money that I need for this month and for rent next month. So no need to worry! But that doesnt change the fact that I am stressed out about the whole not working thing. I was in tears the other day because I felt like a failure. John calmed me down though. He reassured me that we will be OK... And he reminded me that I need to remain calm if not for me, then for our baby. So I am staying positive and I just need to remember that we will be fine.
I am still in awe at the idea of being a mother. Its so hard to believe that in a mere 6 months I am going to have a child in my home. Its odd because it doesnt seem completely real... Though I know it is. I know there is a life growing inside of me... Ive heard the heart beat, I know the due date and I realize that I am going to be a mother... But at the same time, its hard to believe because the baby isnt here. I remember when i first found out that I was pregnant I cried more than I have ever cried before. I was almost in a state of denial, but I fully accepted it. I wanted to believe that it wasnt true and I wanted it to be a dream that I was going to wake up from and just go on with my normal day. But it wasnt a dream. It was all real. I called my mother first and I told her the news... and then I had called Dawn because I didnt know who else to call. I needed to talk to someone and Dawn popped into my head. So she was a bit of a comfort, but not what I needed. I didnt feel a lot better about it until I talked to John. I cried the whole time I was talking to John. He held me and told me that something like this is NEVER bad news and that he was going to be there with me no matter what. Even though I was scared, still in tears and at a loss for what to say or think, I felt better then than I had talking to my mother or to Dawn. Quite some time has passed since then and I have become excited about the baby. I know that I am going to be a good mother. I know that our child is going to be happy and have everything he or she needs. I know that John is going to be a good father, too. He cares about the baby and he is excited to be starting a family. I cant explain how happy that makes me.
I am so happy that John came into my life. Honestly, I never thought things would happen as they have. I never would have thought that a drunken conversation on New Years would lead to what it has. He really is a wonderful boyfriend. He makes me laugh, makes me feel better when I am sad, and he shows in every way that he loves me. He and I are starting a family together.... I really love that man.
Despite the fact that I am unemployed, life is so good. I am happier than I have been in a long time and I just want things to just keep going the way they are. That is all.
As you all know, I was fired from Wells Fargo. I am currently in search of employment and I am not too stressed at the moment. I have the money that I need for this month and for rent next month. So no need to worry! But that doesnt change the fact that I am stressed out about the whole not working thing. I was in tears the other day because I felt like a failure. John calmed me down though. He reassured me that we will be OK... And he reminded me that I need to remain calm if not for me, then for our baby. So I am staying positive and I just need to remember that we will be fine.
I am still in awe at the idea of being a mother. Its so hard to believe that in a mere 6 months I am going to have a child in my home. Its odd because it doesnt seem completely real... Though I know it is. I know there is a life growing inside of me... Ive heard the heart beat, I know the due date and I realize that I am going to be a mother... But at the same time, its hard to believe because the baby isnt here. I remember when i first found out that I was pregnant I cried more than I have ever cried before. I was almost in a state of denial, but I fully accepted it. I wanted to believe that it wasnt true and I wanted it to be a dream that I was going to wake up from and just go on with my normal day. But it wasnt a dream. It was all real. I called my mother first and I told her the news... and then I had called Dawn because I didnt know who else to call. I needed to talk to someone and Dawn popped into my head. So she was a bit of a comfort, but not what I needed. I didnt feel a lot better about it until I talked to John. I cried the whole time I was talking to John. He held me and told me that something like this is NEVER bad news and that he was going to be there with me no matter what. Even though I was scared, still in tears and at a loss for what to say or think, I felt better then than I had talking to my mother or to Dawn. Quite some time has passed since then and I have become excited about the baby. I know that I am going to be a good mother. I know that our child is going to be happy and have everything he or she needs. I know that John is going to be a good father, too. He cares about the baby and he is excited to be starting a family. I cant explain how happy that makes me.
I am so happy that John came into my life. Honestly, I never thought things would happen as they have. I never would have thought that a drunken conversation on New Years would lead to what it has. He really is a wonderful boyfriend. He makes me laugh, makes me feel better when I am sad, and he shows in every way that he loves me. He and I are starting a family together.... I really love that man.
Despite the fact that I am unemployed, life is so good. I am happier than I have been in a long time and I just want things to just keep going the way they are. That is all.