Rambling
I havent been in the best of moods lately... So I apologize to anyone that I may offend when I am being antisocial. I dont want to bring anyone down just because I am not very chipper. Ive been spending a lot of time alone... collecting my thoughts and whatnot. I havent really come to any real conclusions, but thats OK.
I have just been really pissed off about my job situation. It sucks. I really did try to make things right. But I failed. Somehow, in trying to be a good person and not burn any bridges, I failed! And that makes me so mad! I dont like failing... Especially when I am trying to do the right thing. *sigh*
I know things will look up soon. I know that because I have a job waiting for me... and I am looking forward to it... and I know that I will do well as soon as that starts. But what do I do in the mean time? All I can do is try and get another job that will pay my bills temporarily and just wind up screwing them over too. It really sucks because I am trying to succeed... and in the process, I am just adding to the list of places that I will never be able to work again. That isnt my intent, but it is a necessity at this point.
I have been really lonely too. I have my friends... and I have my family.... both of which I am extremely greatful for. But when it comes down to it, the one person that I really want right now isnt available for at least another month. John may try and come out here for Thanksgiving. I hope that he can make it. I havent seen him for almost 4 months. That is a long time. I have talked to him every day... Which is good. I love being able to talk to him so much. But he is going out to the field for 3 weeks and I wont be able to talk to him at all while he is out there. It sucks.
I have been invited to his parents house for Thanksgiving. If John is in town, I may go. That would be a lot of fun. If not, I dont know exactly what I am going to do. I guess it really doesnt matter. I have never really liked Thanksgiving... Well, I take that back. I used to like it. When my grandma was alive, we all used to go to Yuma and spend the weekend there. I would see all of my cousins and aunts and uncles... and it was a lot of fun. But when my grandma died, we all kinda stopped that. We all went off and did our own thing. I would spend the day with my mom and dad but it seems like when the holidays start, they begin to fight a lot more... and I dont like that. So I do all that I can to make other plans. So if John is here, I think I will spend the day with his family. That could be a lot of fun. I like them. They are really nice people.
If John cant make it out here for Thanksgiving, then I only have to wait one more month. He will be out here for Christmas and New Years for sure. I am looking forward to that. He will be here probably for 2 weeks like when he was here for the 4th of July.
I tell ya... I really do miss him. John is a really great guy. I just wish I could see him more often.
My ear is looking a lot better. It doesnt hurt anymore and I can even lie on it now!! SO I can sleep much more comfortably. That is always a plus. It really sucks that it got so infected and such. It looked cool when I got it done... and it is a shame that I didnt take care of it properly. They told me to keep my hair away from it and I didnt do that. So I got a nice bacterial infection in it... 2 trips to urgent care and a visit to the ER, and 2 different kinda of antibiotic! DAMN! But its almost better. So I am happy with that.
So I am not entirely sure what I want to do today. I want to see Saw 2, but I shouldnt be spending the money for that. Bad idea. It looks like its gonna be good though. I just saw the first one not too long ago... and I liked it a lot. The second one should be a hoot!
I got to go out with Laura the other day. That was a lot of fun. I truly enjoyed myself. I love hanging out with Laura. She makes me feel good. She laughs at what I say and I love that! But she and I had a nice chat about some things and it was a jolly good time.
I am not feeling too good. The antibiotic that I am on makes my stomach hurt a bit. *sigh* That sucks.
But I think thats about all for now. But like I said... I am sorry if I am antisocial and all... I dont mean it personally... Im just not in the greatest of spirits... That will all change, I am sure. So Peace out for now, my homies!
I have just been really pissed off about my job situation. It sucks. I really did try to make things right. But I failed. Somehow, in trying to be a good person and not burn any bridges, I failed! And that makes me so mad! I dont like failing... Especially when I am trying to do the right thing. *sigh*
I know things will look up soon. I know that because I have a job waiting for me... and I am looking forward to it... and I know that I will do well as soon as that starts. But what do I do in the mean time? All I can do is try and get another job that will pay my bills temporarily and just wind up screwing them over too. It really sucks because I am trying to succeed... and in the process, I am just adding to the list of places that I will never be able to work again. That isnt my intent, but it is a necessity at this point.
I have been really lonely too. I have my friends... and I have my family.... both of which I am extremely greatful for. But when it comes down to it, the one person that I really want right now isnt available for at least another month. John may try and come out here for Thanksgiving. I hope that he can make it. I havent seen him for almost 4 months. That is a long time. I have talked to him every day... Which is good. I love being able to talk to him so much. But he is going out to the field for 3 weeks and I wont be able to talk to him at all while he is out there. It sucks.
I have been invited to his parents house for Thanksgiving. If John is in town, I may go. That would be a lot of fun. If not, I dont know exactly what I am going to do. I guess it really doesnt matter. I have never really liked Thanksgiving... Well, I take that back. I used to like it. When my grandma was alive, we all used to go to Yuma and spend the weekend there. I would see all of my cousins and aunts and uncles... and it was a lot of fun. But when my grandma died, we all kinda stopped that. We all went off and did our own thing. I would spend the day with my mom and dad but it seems like when the holidays start, they begin to fight a lot more... and I dont like that. So I do all that I can to make other plans. So if John is here, I think I will spend the day with his family. That could be a lot of fun. I like them. They are really nice people.
If John cant make it out here for Thanksgiving, then I only have to wait one more month. He will be out here for Christmas and New Years for sure. I am looking forward to that. He will be here probably for 2 weeks like when he was here for the 4th of July.
I tell ya... I really do miss him. John is a really great guy. I just wish I could see him more often.
My ear is looking a lot better. It doesnt hurt anymore and I can even lie on it now!! SO I can sleep much more comfortably. That is always a plus. It really sucks that it got so infected and such. It looked cool when I got it done... and it is a shame that I didnt take care of it properly. They told me to keep my hair away from it and I didnt do that. So I got a nice bacterial infection in it... 2 trips to urgent care and a visit to the ER, and 2 different kinda of antibiotic! DAMN! But its almost better. So I am happy with that.
So I am not entirely sure what I want to do today. I want to see Saw 2, but I shouldnt be spending the money for that. Bad idea. It looks like its gonna be good though. I just saw the first one not too long ago... and I liked it a lot. The second one should be a hoot!
I got to go out with Laura the other day. That was a lot of fun. I truly enjoyed myself. I love hanging out with Laura. She makes me feel good. She laughs at what I say and I love that! But she and I had a nice chat about some things and it was a jolly good time.
I am not feeling too good. The antibiotic that I am on makes my stomach hurt a bit. *sigh* That sucks.
But I think thats about all for now. But like I said... I am sorry if I am antisocial and all... I dont mean it personally... Im just not in the greatest of spirits... That will all change, I am sure. So Peace out for now, my homies!