Sep 22, 2004 15:21
Why does life always have to be so unfair? Everything is going fine in my life, then it drops so rapidly that there is no chance to recover whats lost. Its the worst feeling in the world, but im going to pull through yet again. This always happens when everything is going fine in my life with parents, relationships, friends, and school. Why cant i be dealt a winning hand for a change?
I thank all of my friends who have been there for all of those times and have been there help me through. There is nothing that can be done to show my gratitude for yall. Yall are like my family and yall know who yall are.
Ive been left in a place of total darkness and confusion trying to find my way out. Still havent found the way, but im hoping soon it will become clearer to me.
This is also my announcement of me and jayna being broken up. It happened early last week. I didnt put anything in here because i was keeping it secret since i thought we could get back together soon. Wish i knew when all this happened that it wouldnt be till after christmas when things in her life would settle back down enough to allow for a relationship in her life. Other things have happend since but it hurts to much to write it in here. the people that know are the ones that need to and that are practically family. If you ask what that was, most likely your not going to get a response.
The only thing that hurts about that event is that i wasnt told personally. Jayna i can fully understand how it happened and i dont want you to get on a guilt trip or anything over it. I know i promised you i would wait for things to even out in your life, but i dont know how well that is going to work out. If time comes in january, and im not in another relationship or anything, i would love for you to come back to me. if you dont, i fully understand. I just dont want our friendship to change over any of this.
Alicia and Holly, i would like to thank you in helping me through all of this. I would not have been able to handle all of this on my own. I couldnt ask for better friends.
In the meantime, im going to go lay down and figure out a way i can get all of this out of my head quickly so im not hurting inside. Within the past week, my emotions have been sucked into a black hole of chaos, sadness, and it has all been sprialing out of control. Luckily i have been able to get a grip on myself enough to not let it affect my life in school. Its been hard enuogh keeping things silent. The bed is behind me as well as the tv. gonna watch that for awhile till i find something else to do.
leave your comments as you see fit.