Last Night
I was talking to Jean-Pierre last night on IM. He told me that his boss pulled him aside because he had dark circles under his eyes and looked pale. I then got him to admit that he wasn't sleeping or eating well. Only an hour or two a night and very little to eat. He said, yesterday night, that all he'd had was a latte for breakfast, cheese crackers from the vending machine at work for lunch, and a handful of chips for dinner. So I told him to go watch TV and I'd be there in about 90 minutes with food and that he was going to eat from my hand, on his knees, at the table. So I get fattening food (McDonald's) and took it to his place. He was waiting for me, kneeling at the door. I told him not to speak and to follow me to the table. He did so without looking at me and looking very frustrated indeed. I had him kneel at the table, next to me, and he ate his McNuggets and fries from my hand. Then I took him to the shower and bathed him (trying very hard not to jump his naked bones). I dried him off and put him in pajamas and into bed. I got in after him and put his head on my chest. He was asleep within minutes but would start to get fitful if I didn't pet his hair every 45 minutes for 10-15 minutes. So I slept in 30 minute increments all night long. I fed him his sausage and omelet, just like the night before. I allowed him to drink his latte at his own pace. That's too hot of stuff to spill on him. Then I had him make himself a lunch, for work. I told him that I wanted to know what he ate after every meal and that if he didn't eat enough that day that we'd have a repeat of last night. (I do see how this could backfire, yes.) Then I lifted his face to look into his eyes for the first time since I got there last night and told him, "I love you. I don't want you to get sick. Eat." His eyes watered up and he said, "Yes, Sir," quietly. I said, "I know are making a tough decision now but I'm not leaving you to your own devices if and until you finally do leave." A tear dropped, he said, "I'm sorry." I said, "Never be sorry for following your heart. It's too good of a heart." I hugged him close and he hugged me back. We kissed, slowly, and then he headed off for work and I headed for home. I need a nap.