It's Done...

[masterde]

I've had my last weekend ever with Dmitri. It was all so wonderful. It may take a day or two for me to write about it. It's all just a little too raw right now. I've lost something of quality. I've lost something of worth. More later...

Comments

[lordes]

I am so sorry sweetheart. Adn I know, I know I shouldnt' say I because you told me to but I'm going to nevertheless because I am sorry for you. I wish I could do something to make you feel better or do something to make you forget or bring you two back together but I can't and it hurts to see you like this. I can almost feel your apin and its devastating. I wish I could hug you and tell you everything is going to be allright. I wish I could kiss you on the forhead, and make you something warm and hug you and hug you more. And this maybe all rambling and if I'll look aback at it tomorrow I'll probably regret writing this bu tit's whats on my mind right now and I might be a bit drunk. BUT that doesn't take away that I loveyou, and I wish to make you feel better somehow. I still hope you think you've made the right choice, I thnk you have because your safety goes before anything but you two, you were so perfect together. You and Dmitri. I wish there was some way to just snap my finger and make everything right. to be there like you've been there for me. But for some reason I simply lack the errrr... things to do that!

If you need to talk, or skype or WHATEVER you want, you know where to find me. Ill probably be knock out for awhile after this BUT I'll be here tomorrow and I'll stay online in case you need somebody.

wish I coudl be in Texas right now.

WHAT is it that's driving you two apart?! WHAT IS IT?! I mean, OMG it has to be very difficult for you to break up with him over that. And so it probably is but SHH you can not tell me because then they'll come an get you and I DO NOT WANT that! *clings* BEcause you're a great friend and I don't care what you describe our friendhsip as, simply a normal friendship or something teacher..y thingy what you mentioned before Ican't remember. But I love you and you're one of my best online friends and that says a lot because I do not bond quickly, especailly not over th einternet but I've with you and I really do care about you and i hope you'll feel better soon!

like I said you know where to find me and I'm sorry for this ramblin comment!

♥ Love you Justin, you take care of yourself and make sure you do everything [selfish] to make youfeel bettter!

♥

[masterde]

Yeah... as drunken ramblings go, that was a pretty good one. The only thing worse is your current finding a drunken text to your ex the morning after a night of binge drinking. I'll be fine... until I go to write this all down. Then I'll all crying and shit. Then it will be real. But right now I'm just... not there.

[lordes]

*groans* I'm so sorry. But you got the message behind all that, at least.

Don't be alone while you're crying darling. You shouldn't be.

I get that, until you "say" it out loud it's still easy to pretend it didn't happen, or at least easier to forget that it happened int he first place.

♥