Confessions Part I
Gather ‘round to hear the exciting adventures of Sharon!
Ok ok…I’ll admit it. I had been a horrible kid throughout elementary. Let’s go backwards…beginning with 5th grade…all the way ‘til 1st.
- My parents enrolled me in a Chinese class at the Super Institute program at Wedgeworth, but I ditched class nearly every Friday so I could go play.
- Teachers always tell my parents that I talk too much in class during Parent-Teacher conferences
- In 3rd grade, I messed with school food a lot, and some genius decided to tell the teacher, who wrote a letter to my parents and got me in HUGE trouble. (In case you’re wondering, I never played with food again.)
- When I was in 1st grade in Hong Kong, I was a bit of a bully. I was the ‘captain’ of my little crew of 7,8 kids and we were like…the most ‘powerful’ kids in our year. No, we never beat anyone up (dude we were 1st graders), nor did we force them to do anything horrible…but for some reason, we were feared to a moderate degree. Aww c’mon! wth! It was all role playing you weak scaredycats! It’s not like we really bit you guys!
o Apparently, the teachers never noticed they still made me the head of the class along with this nerdy kid w/ the same last name as me. Well…I kinda volunteered myself for the job though. Hey, no one else raised their hand! I didn’t do squat other than telling everyone to shut up and sit down.
There you have it. All the ‘awful’ stuff I did that no one, including my parents, knew about. As bad as the list seems, I can tell you that that’s as far as I ever went. My most ‘severe’ punishment was that letter to my parents when I was in 3rd grade, and it never went beyond that. If anyone dares show my parents this list, I will eat you alive.
Now for the general, ordinary, tedious stuff that you probably don’t wanna read about.
- When I was in 4th grade, I wanted to be an astronomer. I remember my teacher Mrs. DeBrea (mean lady, by the way) asking us what we want to be in the future, and all the Asian kids went wild and screamed “Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Me wants to be doctor!” and me and Tim Bacon and Mark Sutton went ‘ehhhh….astronomer!!!’ I never wanted to be a doctor, not even when I was 2 or something. Doctors scare the shit out of me.
- I seem like a good ol’ atheist, right? And I am, don’t get me wrong. What none of you know is that I actually believed in God for mmmmmm…..4 or 5 yrs when I was a kid. But that’s merely bcuz my parents sent me to Christian schools. I used to go home and say to my mom, “OMG mommie! Ms. X said if I’m good, Jesus will come down and take me to heaven and I get to ride on a cloud!!!” Then one day my mama said to me, “You go to heaven when you DIE,” and I never exactly mentioned it again. It’s sort of like discovering that Santa Claus is really just some ugly fat no life old man in a red suit stuffed with cotton balls and other shit.
Well, my friends, that concludes Part I of my ‘confessions.’ What, did you expect me to sit here all day long and type 10 pgs of this nonsense? I do have a lot more to write though…I mean, you didn’t think those 6 bullet pts summarized my entire life, did you? I’m just barely scratching the surface of my o so interesting/weird/wtf life story.
By the way, I got the Star Wars EP III DVD today!!!!! yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! I looked like an idiot walking around w/ a DVD in my hand and a huge smile on my face. The guy in front of me also bought the DVD. 'Hey!!! Look! I have it too!!!' I have to take a pic of the DVD alongside my millenium falcon model.