Waddle and wallow into sci-fi
Well, last night this guy called me to remember me that i haven´t collected my fees for a conference about Cyberpunk that i gave at the literary workshop. is measels, like 60 pesos, but hey, the cash comes in handy in a month when am the only one in the "friday tea bunch" with solid income -my best friend earned 2.75 pesos this month, an unfortunate set of events-. I give this conferences as a compromise for not beeing over bothered by lit workshop affairs; not that there´s any grunge nor rejection, its just i don´t believe in those things anymore. Anyday i expect them to tell me: "funding is gone, we can´t pay", and i´ll be cool. The practice is the best reward, plus the cozy feeling of beeing a wise guy, you know, the brain. Beeing brainy is my only steady source of self esteem over the years. Not that am an Einstein, but if if you hang out with people you can impress, is a nice ego trip. anyway, am a good communicator. They -the lectured ones- look motivated and ask an express opinions.
The 60 pesos wasn´t the only news. He also wanted to tell me that this Jorge Enrique Lage -a pidgeon of an avangarde writer- wasn´t impressed with my sci-fi stories, so i wasn´t going to be pusblished on the magazine "El Cuentero". To tell you the truth, i was kinda pleased. Am having some sort of spotlight phobia syndrome lately, combined with a fear of competition. Thats why i held off from contests and not beeing pusblished on a snob lit magazine doesn´t really hurt my feelings. Plus this Lage guy -yep, nephew to the big guy, number three/four in Cuban Gov- is a certified brat, and if he dislikes my writing, well, it feels OK. He´s waddling his way into sci-fi, putting his main stream weight into it. Okay, waddles and wallows, cause its kinda deep for him. But hey, who expects anything good from the Cuban lit panorama? And that´s i don´t give a rat´s ass about Lage and sci-fi contests. Its all way too screwed up. Is mafia bussiness, and am kinda reluctant to be involved. I know, i know is silly from me to expect cleannes in wordly affairs, but let me develope an inmune system before i waddle and wallow.
The guy on the phone urged me to be more participative in sci-fi constests, but its way too depressing to loose to suckers, and doubtfull the victory over them. ¿Am i beeing snotty and conceited? Don´t know for sure, but surely acknowledging the contest system
doesn´t makes me a better person or writer. I tried, yes, in more than one ocasion, only to see shit emerging priced and revulsive accounts about behind curtain conundrums. Besides, am already settled into beeing a middle craftsman and earn my key in years to come, and thats not going to be influenced by dubious provincial laurels.
The 60 pesos wasn´t the only news. He also wanted to tell me that this Jorge Enrique Lage -a pidgeon of an avangarde writer- wasn´t impressed with my sci-fi stories, so i wasn´t going to be pusblished on the magazine "El Cuentero". To tell you the truth, i was kinda pleased. Am having some sort of spotlight phobia syndrome lately, combined with a fear of competition. Thats why i held off from contests and not beeing pusblished on a snob lit magazine doesn´t really hurt my feelings. Plus this Lage guy -yep, nephew to the big guy, number three/four in Cuban Gov- is a certified brat, and if he dislikes my writing, well, it feels OK. He´s waddling his way into sci-fi, putting his main stream weight into it. Okay, waddles and wallows, cause its kinda deep for him. But hey, who expects anything good from the Cuban lit panorama? And that´s i don´t give a rat´s ass about Lage and sci-fi contests. Its all way too screwed up. Is mafia bussiness, and am kinda reluctant to be involved. I know, i know is silly from me to expect cleannes in wordly affairs, but let me develope an inmune system before i waddle and wallow.
The guy on the phone urged me to be more participative in sci-fi constests, but its way too depressing to loose to suckers, and doubtfull the victory over them. ¿Am i beeing snotty and conceited? Don´t know for sure, but surely acknowledging the contest system
doesn´t makes me a better person or writer. I tried, yes, in more than one ocasion, only to see shit emerging priced and revulsive accounts about behind curtain conundrums. Besides, am already settled into beeing a middle craftsman and earn my key in years to come, and thats not going to be influenced by dubious provincial laurels.