There, fixed.
I´ve just fixed/modified one of my most successful short stories -succesful as in a handle of readers took the trouble to commnent it, bur the good thing is that they are themselves good writers and avid fans. so i was kinda happy. but perfection never´s there, so i rewrote the first part of the climax. on the first version certain events were not depicted, were referred to by a character. on this new version, said actions are narrated in detail. it adds 2 pages and a lot of spice, aswell as another two sample of the main trait of the story, wich is sudden changes in points of view. it used to have changes from one charact to another that was lokking for he/she, then to another that just bumped into and interacted with he/she, then progressed to a change by just crossing by, then far observation while trying to hide. it goes like if the little narrative eyebird perched on your shoulder is passing from a character to another. has kinda a progression in distance, like more felt separation, each transition a little more far fetched each time. i added two finals, with no physical proximity. first one, a phone call -just voice-, and second one via a network: one guy seeing data on a computer, then onto the guy hacking the data the former was seeing. i think it adds a nice touch, spice, a little end twist. yeah, am proud.