Personal Journal Entry (NFB)
So, I visited Mr. Crowley last night and I might have done something bad. I don't know if I did, I mean, Angelus, he doesn't own me does he? I mean, he owns Bel and I know my grandmother didn't give me away so he doesn't.
But, Angelus said I was supposed to clear things with him and I haven't. I could have last night in the common room but I didn't. We talked about Martin Blank and a couple of other things, but I didn't mention Mr. Crowley, not once. Am I betraying Angelus? He was my first friend ever and i can't imagine where I'd be without him. Maybe he wouldn't mind but shouldn't I at least ask?
But what if it's to late? What if the damage is done and if I tell Angelus he'll, disown me or whatever? He doesn't strike me as the forgiving type hence my never mentioning being an Episcapalian.
I think Crowley wants me to belong to him. I can't be sure, and I can't ask but it seems the most likely thing for him to be asking for. Is it really like in Faust? Will he steal my soul, make me sign a contract in blood? I'm not sure, but... he's so good to me. Not just the gift from a few nights ago, everything about him is wonderful and so is the way he treats me. He treats me like I'm smart and interesting and precious. I like feeling this way.
But, Angelus said I was supposed to clear things with him and I haven't. I could have last night in the common room but I didn't. We talked about Martin Blank and a couple of other things, but I didn't mention Mr. Crowley, not once. Am I betraying Angelus? He was my first friend ever and i can't imagine where I'd be without him. Maybe he wouldn't mind but shouldn't I at least ask?
But what if it's to late? What if the damage is done and if I tell Angelus he'll, disown me or whatever? He doesn't strike me as the forgiving type hence my never mentioning being an Episcapalian.
I think Crowley wants me to belong to him. I can't be sure, and I can't ask but it seems the most likely thing for him to be asking for. Is it really like in Faust? Will he steal my soul, make me sign a contract in blood? I'm not sure, but... he's so good to me. Not just the gift from a few nights ago, everything about him is wonderful and so is the way he treats me. He treats me like I'm smart and interesting and precious. I like feeling this way.